(no subject)
Yesterday was my last day observing in the preschool classroom. I think I might have to go back on my own, just to play with the kids again. After I got to know them, there wasn't one kid I didn't like, even though some of them are typical misbehaving three- and four-year-olds. I fell in love with them. One of the boys eventually learned my name and started calling me over when I came in the classroom. He wasn't there last week and when he saw me yesterday, he ran over and said, "Cara, I missed you!"
Times like this break my heart. This is one reason I couldn't be a preschool teacher. As much as I would love aspects of it, I just know I'm not cut out for the job. I've always wanted lifelong relationships with people I come to love, which is why it hurts so much when I lose friends, and it hurts more with kids. For some reason I love kids, and I know I'm good with them. That's why I know without a doubt that I'm meant to be a mom. A part of me wants to be a mom even now, though I know that's not rational.
Part of me wants to keep going to the lab, so I can keep seeing those kids, but part of me knows that prolonging things won't help.. they're going to grow up sometime. I hate to think of Alijah wondering why I don't come play with him anymore, but how do you break things off with a four-year-old anyway? Oh my heart.
Times like this break my heart. This is one reason I couldn't be a preschool teacher. As much as I would love aspects of it, I just know I'm not cut out for the job. I've always wanted lifelong relationships with people I come to love, which is why it hurts so much when I lose friends, and it hurts more with kids. For some reason I love kids, and I know I'm good with them. That's why I know without a doubt that I'm meant to be a mom. A part of me wants to be a mom even now, though I know that's not rational.
Part of me wants to keep going to the lab, so I can keep seeing those kids, but part of me knows that prolonging things won't help.. they're going to grow up sometime. I hate to think of Alijah wondering why I don't come play with him anymore, but how do you break things off with a four-year-old anyway? Oh my heart.