(no subject)
Happy birthday to my two cute litte cousins, well maybe not so little anymore. Grace turned 7 and Isabel turned 4.
Today I went to the cementary, our family usually goes once or twice a year. This year I haven't gone to pay a visit to my grandpa or grandma or in chinese; gung gung and poa poa. It was also two weeks over due. For some reason I feel better now. Maybe they are watching me and asked me to go. I had weird dreams over the past two-three nights. Pretty creepy.
Life is okay, it's already June of 2007. Where has all this time gone? 7 years ago i was awoken to the news that my newest cousin Grace was born. It was the end of Middle school 8th grade, only had a few more days of school left. Also 7 years ago this week I was turning 13. In my heart I still feel 16 and look 16, but my mind seems to feel older since February. I felt like i was 21 already months before my birthday this week. I'll hope it will be fun.
In other news: Once upon a time Jen met a guy a year ago last summer. She knew they could never be together till this weekend.
I fear once we move forward there's no turning back if things did not work out between the two of us and i also fear getting my heart broken. But I don't think we could get really close either since we both live at our parent's house and I most likely will not be going to Eastern for school. I believe I am happy, even if happiness is a stranger to me. I'm trying not to get my expectations high, as hard as i try to tone down what I want out of a guy it's hard not to compare it to past relationships. This feeling that i get is an old friend back when i was 16. I know something isn't right if you can't sleep at night wondering if he thinks of you or if you can stop thinking about him every spare moment you have. You wonder if he's okay or if he's going to call you just to hear your voice or to say he misses you or if he wants to hang out with you the next day. I'm still wondering what changed his mind. All those nights we hung out trying so hard to hold back. The way he smiles. the way he greets me. the way he picks me up for a hug and always had to dodge to try not to kiss him. The way he moves i wonder what causes such an arraction? Or is it because of company that makes it all better? We have a few things in common but i wish i knew more.
Today I went to the cementary, our family usually goes once or twice a year. This year I haven't gone to pay a visit to my grandpa or grandma or in chinese; gung gung and poa poa. It was also two weeks over due. For some reason I feel better now. Maybe they are watching me and asked me to go. I had weird dreams over the past two-three nights. Pretty creepy.
Life is okay, it's already June of 2007. Where has all this time gone? 7 years ago i was awoken to the news that my newest cousin Grace was born. It was the end of Middle school 8th grade, only had a few more days of school left. Also 7 years ago this week I was turning 13. In my heart I still feel 16 and look 16, but my mind seems to feel older since February. I felt like i was 21 already months before my birthday this week. I'll hope it will be fun.
In other news: Once upon a time Jen met a guy a year ago last summer. She knew they could never be together till this weekend.
I fear once we move forward there's no turning back if things did not work out between the two of us and i also fear getting my heart broken. But I don't think we could get really close either since we both live at our parent's house and I most likely will not be going to Eastern for school. I believe I am happy, even if happiness is a stranger to me. I'm trying not to get my expectations high, as hard as i try to tone down what I want out of a guy it's hard not to compare it to past relationships. This feeling that i get is an old friend back when i was 16. I know something isn't right if you can't sleep at night wondering if he thinks of you or if you can stop thinking about him every spare moment you have. You wonder if he's okay or if he's going to call you just to hear your voice or to say he misses you or if he wants to hang out with you the next day. I'm still wondering what changed his mind. All those nights we hung out trying so hard to hold back. The way he smiles. the way he greets me. the way he picks me up for a hug and always had to dodge to try not to kiss him. The way he moves i wonder what causes such an arraction? Or is it because of company that makes it all better? We have a few things in common but i wish i knew more.