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Faith found herself standing outside Nigel's house. She'd been out slaying, trying to get some of her anger out. That meeting had really gone badly. For her at least. She shoved her hands in her pockets, standing there, wondering if she should even try to talk to Willow. The girl was no doubt mad at her, but yet Faith wanted to try and explain. She saw the light in her bedroom was still on and she glanced over, seeing a tree that provided access to the room. She shook her head with a sigh and started climbing up the tree, knowing that Willow wouldn't come to the door if she tried this the traditional way. Reaching the window, Faith pushed it open and swung from the branch, landing on her feet inside the room with a thud.
Willow looked up from the desk, startled. She had been trying to put together the last remembrances of her research for Wes. Willow didn't even bother to hide the exasperation in her voice. "Faith. What are you doing?"
"What's it look like?" Faith shrugged with a smirk. "Thought I'd drop in. In the literal sense."
Willow studied Faith for a moment, then turned back to the desk, unable to hide her hurt. "I thought you would be on your way back to the Council by now, or whatever it is you are doing."
Faith sighed, closing her eyes for a minute. "Okay, so I deserved that." She moved closer to the desk, determined to try and fix this situation. "Look Red, I wasn't tryin' to be all secretive or nothin'. And I ain't in the Council." She took a deep breath, trying to get eye contact with Willow, who refused to look at her. "I'm just doin' this thing. I saw an in, a way to get some info from somebody on the inside. Somebody who's workin' right beside this Cain guy." She shrugged again. "So I took it."
Willow shrugged, still not meeting Faith's eyes. "I am sorry Faith...I just seeing it as you finishing something I couldn't get done. And I don't like what that says about either of us." Willow sighed. "So, like I just said...I was there Faith. So no need to speak in pronouns. Who is it? Who are you working with?"
Shaking her head, her forehead creased with lines of concern. "No, it ain't like that at all. Nobody's finishin' nothin'. Just gettin' any ammo we can on this sitch." Faith frowned deeply, not wanting to tell Willow who it was. She knew how bad it would hurt the other woman and wasn't wanting to bring anymore hurt to her. She shook her head, looking down at her feet. "It ain't important who it is. All that's important is I'm gettin' a job done."
Willow stood, and began pacing. "Getting ammo was supposed to be my job, remember? So fine...at least I can admit to myself I didn't get what we needed." She looked directly at Faith. "So show me you are stronger. Make me believe that you can get it done and walk out alive. I can be a big girl, be alright with that. But strong people Faith? Well, they wouldn't be afraid of a name."
Willow took a quick breath and repeated her question from before. "Who is it?"
Faith threw her head back, letting out an exasperated sigh. She brought her gaze back to Willow, running her hand through her hair. Her concerned eyes searched Willow's, wanting to tell her, but knowing she shouldn't and couldn't. "Can't do it Red. Just can't. You gotta just trust I'm doin' the right thing and I'm gonna be all kinds of fine doin' this."
Willow started to fight it again, then stopped. She couldn't even explain it. "Why? Give me one good reason why I should be ok with that answer?" She looked to Faith in expectation.
She raised her eyebrow, knowing this wasn't going to be easy to get out of. She tilted her gaze down, looking up at Willow with a smirk on her face. ""Cause you know I'm right. Not to mention you know arguin' with me won't do any good. That's the best I can do."
"Oh come on," Willow all but growled, and rolled her eyes. "Super strong, super fast, super....really. Is that the best answer you have for me Faith? As much as we have been through..." Willow stopped to brush her cheek where the bruise had once been, more for herself than Faith. "Is that all you have to give? You owe me more than that."
"I think I've more than made up for any names I won't give up." She teased, that smirk soon turning to a small frown as she watched Willow's hand move to her cheek. "Maybe I ain't made up for knockin' you out. But fuck...why you doin' this? Pushin' to find somethin' out that ain't even important? Let's just drop it." She turned towards the window, wanting this conversation to stop. She didn't want to tell Willow and she certainly didn't want to get angry.
Willow pulled a face and took a few tentative steps towards Faith. "I am pushing because I care, though you should already know that." Willow sighed, the sound loud even to her ears. "And the fact that you think it is worth hiding? That makes me think I should care even more."
Again, Faith sighed. This one was deeper than the previous one. She knew Willow wasn't going to let up. And she also knew that the name that was about to come out of her mouth was going to practically kill the girl. Dropping her voice to a whisper, Faith looked down at the ground. "Kennedy." She kept her gaze to the ground, unable to look at her.
"What?" Can one word sound broken? Willow took a few steps back, and then even more before collapsing onto the bed. "Working right beside Cain? Not just pretend? She isn't pretending?"
Faith jerked her gaze from the floor as she saw Willow's feet going backwards. She moved to catch her, but luckily the bed had been close and she'd landed safely on it. "She ain't pretendin'. I was trippin' too when I found out." Taking a seat beside her, Faith looked over, giving Willow a sympathetic look. "Now you see why I didn't wanna say nothin'? Why I couldn't tell you?"
"I'd rather know," Willow mumbled to herself. "I'd rather know," she said even louder still. "If that is what she's chosen, than it then." Willow pulled even further in. "How could she Faith? How could she choose to side to the people....that did this to me? That made me this? No...that I let make me this?"
"I wish I could tell ya. Power does fucked up things to people. Trust me on that one." She forced a slight smile, trying to make eye contact. "You know, you was there. You can't blame yourself. It ain't your fault Willow. She made her own choice. Don't let her drag you down with her." Reaching her hand out, she tipped Willow's chin up, forcing the girl to look at her. "She ain't worth it. You're stronger than that. Kennedy's a punk. Just some rich kid brat. She never deserved you. I've always thought that." She grinned softly, trying to comfort her.
Willow met Faith's gaze. ""It's just that, if she is that far up, helping Cain...she already much have done some truly horrible things. To have gotten that far." She pulled in on broken air as her thoughts raced. "Don't let her hurt you."
Faith shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Nah, I think it was more like she got herself into some shit in Hong Kong and they bailed her out and saved her ass." She shrugged. "Did some snoopin' when I crashed at her place." Letting out a small laugh, she kept their gaze locked. "Tell me you're not serious. The brat hurtin' me? Never gonna happen Red. Give me more credit than that, come on."
Everything in Willow screamed to write Kennedy off, so she wasn't sure where the next question came from. "So can you get her out? Like you did for me? Can we still save her? You can hit her too, I won't mind..." Willow didn't even know why she was starting to cry. She wasn't in love with Kennedy anymore. "You promise then? You won't let her....I can't lose you too Faith." Her Tara, Buffy, and now Kennedy. All gone.
"I think it's too late Red. But if that's what you want, I can try. I can't make no promises though." She nodded, trying to convey her seriousness. If that's what Willow wanted, she'd do what she could to try and get it for her. Her mouth shifted into a frown as Willow started crying. This was a big reason she'd not wanted to tell her. She slid her arm around Willow's back, pulling the girl over against her tentatively. Holding her close, she let the girl cry and just sat there, unsure what else to do. She wasn't very good at the whole comforting thing. "I promise. And hey, I ain't goin' anywhere. So, losin' me?" She smiled softly, looking down at her. "Not an option."
Willow nestled against Faith, forcing a watery smile her friend couldn't even see. So really, who was it for? "I don't know what I want anymore. I want everything to be alright again, but things that vague never happen. It's just....pointless words. Childish and silly." She rested her head on Faith's shoulder. "But that promise wasn't pointless, as long as you keep it." Willow paused. "Thank you," she whispered.
Faith smiled, mostly to herself. "Count on it. I know my word don't hold much ..." She furrowed her brow in thought, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. "Well, let's just say I meant it. And everything's gonna be five by five, you'll see. We always save the day, unless you're forgettin' that." She laughed slightly, careful not to jostle her shoulder where Willow rested. Her own voice dropped to a softer, quieter tone in response to the whisper. "Thankin' me ain't really necessary. It's cool."
Willow pulled away, and this time gave Faith a smile she could see. "Well, I think it is necessary...the thanking. So maybe I will say it again." Willow paused, ready to make her point again. "Thank you."
"Hey, you think you gotta say it, then say it. Not gonna stop you." Faith shrugged playfully, smiling back at her. "I guess this is the part where I say 'You're Welcome' or a 'Thank You' of my own?"
Willow actually laughed a little. "Sure, if you would like. Either, or...even both. Your choice." She had finally stopped crying. "And it will be my turn to ask why."
Faith rolled her eyes up a bit, dramatically pretending to contemplate the idea, before breaking into a laugh. "Not really good at either, but you get what I'm tryin' to say here. And no reason. Just because I guess." She lifted her shoulders a bit, giving a slight shrug, before leaning back on the bed and propping herself up on her elbows. It wasn't easy for Faith to convey reasons or feelings on things like this. But she felt the need to thank her, even if she couldn't explain why.
Willow grabbed a pillow, and actually contemplated smacking Faith with it before the feeling behind her friend's words sunk in. "Well then I will treasure that sentiment...just because." And then she lightly hit her with the pillow, anyway.
"Hey!" Faith tried to reach out to stop the pillow, but lost her balance as she lifted her arms outward, forgetting she was propped up on her elbows. The pillow caught her in the face lightly, just as she fell backwards, landing on the bed. She laid there for a minute, just laughing at both herself and the situation. It was good to laugh and just have fun. It wasn't something she did often. Not in this manner that is. She had her own ways of having fun and relaxing and this was a nice change of pace. Rolling her head over, she looked at her friend. "You are so gonna pay for that. I mean, come on, did you really think you could hit me with a pillow and not expect some sort of payback?" She added a smirk for good measure. "I think I'll wait though. Make you all nervous, wonderin' when I'm gonna do it. Definitely seein' the benefits there."
Willow set the pillow in her lap, crossed her arms, and looked down at Faith with a smile. "I said it the other day, and I will say it again. Not...scared...of ...you. So there." Willow laughed again. "And nervous isn't what I feel around you anyway."
Faith rolled over onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, supporting her head against her hand that she had balled into a fist. She looked at Willow with her eyebrow raised curiously. "Not scared huh? Just gives me more reason to wait on my revenge." Another smirk. "Okay, so not nervous. Gonna clue me in to what it is you do feel?" She looked at her, keeping herself cautious in case the pillow came flying towards her again. This time she would be prepared for it.
Willow set the pillow firmly between her and Faith, not sure what she was trying to do. "Just...not nervous." She met Faith's raised eyebrow. "What? It is my turn to be vague now. How do you like it?"
"Let's see...." Faith cleared her throat slightly, trying not to laugh as she spoke. "Not nervous. Puttin' a pillow between us. Sayin' you ain't scared of me." She laughed, pushing herself up slightly on the bed, so she was resting on her side against her elbow. "I think you are scared, Red. You don't trust yourself with me. I'm so onto you." Her amused look was followed by more laughter. "You can be vague all you want. But, it's there. I can see it. You ain't hidin' nothin' from me."
"So if...and I mean IF I am hiding," Willow paused, playing with the pillow and not really looking anywhere. "Are you seeking?" Willow bit down on her bottom lip. Had she actually just asked that?
Faith smirked. She knew it. And she couldn't quite explain how it made her feel. A big smile unconsciously replaced the smirk, as Willow's words sank in. She looked thoughtful for a minute as she pondered the question. Was she seeking? What about Hollywood? Could she really be having this moment right now? Willow. Interested in her. Despite her outward confidence, deep down she felt insecure. She frowned, knowing she wasn't good for the girl. She'd only bring her more hurt and that was one thing she didn't want for her. Blinking herself out of her thoughts, she focused back on Willow, the frown turning into a grin. "Depends on what you mean by that. 'Cause, you know me and relationships....well, they never work out, so I usually don't even bother. But...okay, I really don't even know what I'm tryin' to say here." She sat up on the bed, turning to face her. Taking a deep breath, she tried to think of the words she wanted to say. She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, the slightest blush hinting at her cheeks. "Now that's a first." She reached up, brushing her hand across her own cheek. "Never thought I'd see the day that I blushed."
"Well," Willow paused thoughtfully. "It looks nice on you." Suddenly, Willow placed her hands in her lap, clasping them in thought. "And you don't have to know what to say. I am not even sure why I said that in the first place. What am I? One week out of being shell shocked that's where.. And there's....still too many holes in me as it is. It wouldn't be fair to you, I don't even know why I asked. It just sort of came out." What else could she say? "I'm sorry."
Faith furrowed her brow in both slight disappointment and confusion. But she couldn't hide the grin that formed as Willow babbled. "Didn't say I was complainin' did I? You let me be the judge of what's fair to me. How 'bout that?" She reached out, tipping Willow's chin up to meet her gaze once again. "So why you apologizin'? 'Cause you didn't mean it, or 'cause you're freakin' out now?"
Willow's eyes locked with Faith's. "A little bit of both actually, and then some," Willow whispered. "Because I did, and it does and...the timing isn't right Faith. I know that." Willow sighed. "But timing hasn't been timely for me in a long long while, so I have a hard time listening to it"
"Then why bother listenin'? I never listen, I just do." Her eyes searched the ones in front of her. She was so conflicted here, but following her own advice, she wasn't listening. She was just....feeling. A small, soft smile crossed Faith's dark features as she kept her gaze focused on Willow. "If we sat around waitin' on somethin' to be the right timing, we'd miss it. I'm more of the tryin' to control time type. Can't sit around waitin' on somethin' to happen, you make it happen. So, no reason to be freakin'. I'm not."
Willow smiled softly. "I think a part of me will always be 'freaking' around you Faith. In a good way. In a good way as in I like it." Her smile grew tentatively.
Faith smiled back. "Ya know, I kinda like it too." She laughed softly, still in a bit of awe over this whole situation. "Look at us, all with the.....are we like bondin' or somethin' here? Although I gotta say it seems like more of a 'or somethin'." She didn't even understand it herself to be able to explain it. But it was there. And Willow was right. It was a good thing.
"Somethings then," Willow said, her voice ever so-slightly impish. "I think I can be alright with somethings." She purposefully over-accented her g's, if only to tease Faith about a letter she so frequently liked to forget. "I can..." Willow stopped short suddenly, unable to hold back a yawn.
"Makin' fun of me now Red?" Faith laughed, rolling her eyes at Willow's overexaggerated endings on her words. "Guess I oughta take that yawn as my cue to get outta here." She reluctantly stood up from the bed, stretching her arms over her head and walking over to the window. As she looked outside and saw the tree, she laughed and turned back to Willow. "You gotta admit that was one grand entrance." She wasn't sure why she was stalling, instead of just taking off.
Willow remained sitting on the bed. "Well," she offered. "Loud if not grand." She paused for a moment, considering. "You can stay here if you would like...just stay. It doesn't have to be about being here, it can be about not being somewhere else. I get that." And she did, it was part of what drew her to Faith. "It is up to you."
Faith stood there for a minute, deep in thought as she pondered the offer. Shrugging out of her jacket, she dropped it on the floor and walked back over, sitting on the bed. She leaned down, slipping her boots off and looked over at Willow with a smirk. "So here's me. Just stayin'." She wasn't sure of what she was doing, but going with it. It felt right. It felt good. And she understood and meant what she'd said. It was just staying, and she was fine with that. She looked over at Willow, giving her a smile as she slid back on the bed and rested her head on the pillow.
Willow reached over Faith, and turned off the light. "Goodnight 'just staying.'" She mimicked Faith's style of speech ever so softly. "Sweet dreams."
Willow looked up from the desk, startled. She had been trying to put together the last remembrances of her research for Wes. Willow didn't even bother to hide the exasperation in her voice. "Faith. What are you doing?"
"What's it look like?" Faith shrugged with a smirk. "Thought I'd drop in. In the literal sense."
Willow studied Faith for a moment, then turned back to the desk, unable to hide her hurt. "I thought you would be on your way back to the Council by now, or whatever it is you are doing."
Faith sighed, closing her eyes for a minute. "Okay, so I deserved that." She moved closer to the desk, determined to try and fix this situation. "Look Red, I wasn't tryin' to be all secretive or nothin'. And I ain't in the Council." She took a deep breath, trying to get eye contact with Willow, who refused to look at her. "I'm just doin' this thing. I saw an in, a way to get some info from somebody on the inside. Somebody who's workin' right beside this Cain guy." She shrugged again. "So I took it."
Willow shrugged, still not meeting Faith's eyes. "I am sorry Faith...I just seeing it as you finishing something I couldn't get done. And I don't like what that says about either of us." Willow sighed. "So, like I just said...I was there Faith. So no need to speak in pronouns. Who is it? Who are you working with?"
Shaking her head, her forehead creased with lines of concern. "No, it ain't like that at all. Nobody's finishin' nothin'. Just gettin' any ammo we can on this sitch." Faith frowned deeply, not wanting to tell Willow who it was. She knew how bad it would hurt the other woman and wasn't wanting to bring anymore hurt to her. She shook her head, looking down at her feet. "It ain't important who it is. All that's important is I'm gettin' a job done."
Willow stood, and began pacing. "Getting ammo was supposed to be my job, remember? So fine...at least I can admit to myself I didn't get what we needed." She looked directly at Faith. "So show me you are stronger. Make me believe that you can get it done and walk out alive. I can be a big girl, be alright with that. But strong people Faith? Well, they wouldn't be afraid of a name."
Willow took a quick breath and repeated her question from before. "Who is it?"
Faith threw her head back, letting out an exasperated sigh. She brought her gaze back to Willow, running her hand through her hair. Her concerned eyes searched Willow's, wanting to tell her, but knowing she shouldn't and couldn't. "Can't do it Red. Just can't. You gotta just trust I'm doin' the right thing and I'm gonna be all kinds of fine doin' this."
Willow started to fight it again, then stopped. She couldn't even explain it. "Why? Give me one good reason why I should be ok with that answer?" She looked to Faith in expectation.
She raised her eyebrow, knowing this wasn't going to be easy to get out of. She tilted her gaze down, looking up at Willow with a smirk on her face. ""Cause you know I'm right. Not to mention you know arguin' with me won't do any good. That's the best I can do."
"Oh come on," Willow all but growled, and rolled her eyes. "Super strong, super fast, super....really. Is that the best answer you have for me Faith? As much as we have been through..." Willow stopped to brush her cheek where the bruise had once been, more for herself than Faith. "Is that all you have to give? You owe me more than that."
"I think I've more than made up for any names I won't give up." She teased, that smirk soon turning to a small frown as she watched Willow's hand move to her cheek. "Maybe I ain't made up for knockin' you out. But fuck...why you doin' this? Pushin' to find somethin' out that ain't even important? Let's just drop it." She turned towards the window, wanting this conversation to stop. She didn't want to tell Willow and she certainly didn't want to get angry.
Willow pulled a face and took a few tentative steps towards Faith. "I am pushing because I care, though you should already know that." Willow sighed, the sound loud even to her ears. "And the fact that you think it is worth hiding? That makes me think I should care even more."
Again, Faith sighed. This one was deeper than the previous one. She knew Willow wasn't going to let up. And she also knew that the name that was about to come out of her mouth was going to practically kill the girl. Dropping her voice to a whisper, Faith looked down at the ground. "Kennedy." She kept her gaze to the ground, unable to look at her.
"What?" Can one word sound broken? Willow took a few steps back, and then even more before collapsing onto the bed. "Working right beside Cain? Not just pretend? She isn't pretending?"
Faith jerked her gaze from the floor as she saw Willow's feet going backwards. She moved to catch her, but luckily the bed had been close and she'd landed safely on it. "She ain't pretendin'. I was trippin' too when I found out." Taking a seat beside her, Faith looked over, giving Willow a sympathetic look. "Now you see why I didn't wanna say nothin'? Why I couldn't tell you?"
"I'd rather know," Willow mumbled to herself. "I'd rather know," she said even louder still. "If that is what she's chosen, than it then." Willow pulled even further in. "How could she Faith? How could she choose to side to the people....that did this to me? That made me this? No...that I let make me this?"
"I wish I could tell ya. Power does fucked up things to people. Trust me on that one." She forced a slight smile, trying to make eye contact. "You know, you was there. You can't blame yourself. It ain't your fault Willow. She made her own choice. Don't let her drag you down with her." Reaching her hand out, she tipped Willow's chin up, forcing the girl to look at her. "She ain't worth it. You're stronger than that. Kennedy's a punk. Just some rich kid brat. She never deserved you. I've always thought that." She grinned softly, trying to comfort her.
Willow met Faith's gaze. ""It's just that, if she is that far up, helping Cain...she already much have done some truly horrible things. To have gotten that far." She pulled in on broken air as her thoughts raced. "Don't let her hurt you."
Faith shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Nah, I think it was more like she got herself into some shit in Hong Kong and they bailed her out and saved her ass." She shrugged. "Did some snoopin' when I crashed at her place." Letting out a small laugh, she kept their gaze locked. "Tell me you're not serious. The brat hurtin' me? Never gonna happen Red. Give me more credit than that, come on."
Everything in Willow screamed to write Kennedy off, so she wasn't sure where the next question came from. "So can you get her out? Like you did for me? Can we still save her? You can hit her too, I won't mind..." Willow didn't even know why she was starting to cry. She wasn't in love with Kennedy anymore. "You promise then? You won't let her....I can't lose you too Faith." Her Tara, Buffy, and now Kennedy. All gone.
"I think it's too late Red. But if that's what you want, I can try. I can't make no promises though." She nodded, trying to convey her seriousness. If that's what Willow wanted, she'd do what she could to try and get it for her. Her mouth shifted into a frown as Willow started crying. This was a big reason she'd not wanted to tell her. She slid her arm around Willow's back, pulling the girl over against her tentatively. Holding her close, she let the girl cry and just sat there, unsure what else to do. She wasn't very good at the whole comforting thing. "I promise. And hey, I ain't goin' anywhere. So, losin' me?" She smiled softly, looking down at her. "Not an option."
Willow nestled against Faith, forcing a watery smile her friend couldn't even see. So really, who was it for? "I don't know what I want anymore. I want everything to be alright again, but things that vague never happen. It's just....pointless words. Childish and silly." She rested her head on Faith's shoulder. "But that promise wasn't pointless, as long as you keep it." Willow paused. "Thank you," she whispered.
Faith smiled, mostly to herself. "Count on it. I know my word don't hold much ..." She furrowed her brow in thought, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. "Well, let's just say I meant it. And everything's gonna be five by five, you'll see. We always save the day, unless you're forgettin' that." She laughed slightly, careful not to jostle her shoulder where Willow rested. Her own voice dropped to a softer, quieter tone in response to the whisper. "Thankin' me ain't really necessary. It's cool."
Willow pulled away, and this time gave Faith a smile she could see. "Well, I think it is necessary...the thanking. So maybe I will say it again." Willow paused, ready to make her point again. "Thank you."
"Hey, you think you gotta say it, then say it. Not gonna stop you." Faith shrugged playfully, smiling back at her. "I guess this is the part where I say 'You're Welcome' or a 'Thank You' of my own?"
Willow actually laughed a little. "Sure, if you would like. Either, or...even both. Your choice." She had finally stopped crying. "And it will be my turn to ask why."
Faith rolled her eyes up a bit, dramatically pretending to contemplate the idea, before breaking into a laugh. "Not really good at either, but you get what I'm tryin' to say here. And no reason. Just because I guess." She lifted her shoulders a bit, giving a slight shrug, before leaning back on the bed and propping herself up on her elbows. It wasn't easy for Faith to convey reasons or feelings on things like this. But she felt the need to thank her, even if she couldn't explain why.
Willow grabbed a pillow, and actually contemplated smacking Faith with it before the feeling behind her friend's words sunk in. "Well then I will treasure that sentiment...just because." And then she lightly hit her with the pillow, anyway.
"Hey!" Faith tried to reach out to stop the pillow, but lost her balance as she lifted her arms outward, forgetting she was propped up on her elbows. The pillow caught her in the face lightly, just as she fell backwards, landing on the bed. She laid there for a minute, just laughing at both herself and the situation. It was good to laugh and just have fun. It wasn't something she did often. Not in this manner that is. She had her own ways of having fun and relaxing and this was a nice change of pace. Rolling her head over, she looked at her friend. "You are so gonna pay for that. I mean, come on, did you really think you could hit me with a pillow and not expect some sort of payback?" She added a smirk for good measure. "I think I'll wait though. Make you all nervous, wonderin' when I'm gonna do it. Definitely seein' the benefits there."
Willow set the pillow in her lap, crossed her arms, and looked down at Faith with a smile. "I said it the other day, and I will say it again. Not...scared...of ...you. So there." Willow laughed again. "And nervous isn't what I feel around you anyway."
Faith rolled over onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, supporting her head against her hand that she had balled into a fist. She looked at Willow with her eyebrow raised curiously. "Not scared huh? Just gives me more reason to wait on my revenge." Another smirk. "Okay, so not nervous. Gonna clue me in to what it is you do feel?" She looked at her, keeping herself cautious in case the pillow came flying towards her again. This time she would be prepared for it.
Willow set the pillow firmly between her and Faith, not sure what she was trying to do. "Just...not nervous." She met Faith's raised eyebrow. "What? It is my turn to be vague now. How do you like it?"
"Let's see...." Faith cleared her throat slightly, trying not to laugh as she spoke. "Not nervous. Puttin' a pillow between us. Sayin' you ain't scared of me." She laughed, pushing herself up slightly on the bed, so she was resting on her side against her elbow. "I think you are scared, Red. You don't trust yourself with me. I'm so onto you." Her amused look was followed by more laughter. "You can be vague all you want. But, it's there. I can see it. You ain't hidin' nothin' from me."
"So if...and I mean IF I am hiding," Willow paused, playing with the pillow and not really looking anywhere. "Are you seeking?" Willow bit down on her bottom lip. Had she actually just asked that?
Faith smirked. She knew it. And she couldn't quite explain how it made her feel. A big smile unconsciously replaced the smirk, as Willow's words sank in. She looked thoughtful for a minute as she pondered the question. Was she seeking? What about Hollywood? Could she really be having this moment right now? Willow. Interested in her. Despite her outward confidence, deep down she felt insecure. She frowned, knowing she wasn't good for the girl. She'd only bring her more hurt and that was one thing she didn't want for her. Blinking herself out of her thoughts, she focused back on Willow, the frown turning into a grin. "Depends on what you mean by that. 'Cause, you know me and relationships....well, they never work out, so I usually don't even bother. But...okay, I really don't even know what I'm tryin' to say here." She sat up on the bed, turning to face her. Taking a deep breath, she tried to think of the words she wanted to say. She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh, the slightest blush hinting at her cheeks. "Now that's a first." She reached up, brushing her hand across her own cheek. "Never thought I'd see the day that I blushed."
"Well," Willow paused thoughtfully. "It looks nice on you." Suddenly, Willow placed her hands in her lap, clasping them in thought. "And you don't have to know what to say. I am not even sure why I said that in the first place. What am I? One week out of being shell shocked that's where.. And there's....still too many holes in me as it is. It wouldn't be fair to you, I don't even know why I asked. It just sort of came out." What else could she say? "I'm sorry."
Faith furrowed her brow in both slight disappointment and confusion. But she couldn't hide the grin that formed as Willow babbled. "Didn't say I was complainin' did I? You let me be the judge of what's fair to me. How 'bout that?" She reached out, tipping Willow's chin up to meet her gaze once again. "So why you apologizin'? 'Cause you didn't mean it, or 'cause you're freakin' out now?"
Willow's eyes locked with Faith's. "A little bit of both actually, and then some," Willow whispered. "Because I did, and it does and...the timing isn't right Faith. I know that." Willow sighed. "But timing hasn't been timely for me in a long long while, so I have a hard time listening to it"
"Then why bother listenin'? I never listen, I just do." Her eyes searched the ones in front of her. She was so conflicted here, but following her own advice, she wasn't listening. She was just....feeling. A small, soft smile crossed Faith's dark features as she kept her gaze focused on Willow. "If we sat around waitin' on somethin' to be the right timing, we'd miss it. I'm more of the tryin' to control time type. Can't sit around waitin' on somethin' to happen, you make it happen. So, no reason to be freakin'. I'm not."
Willow smiled softly. "I think a part of me will always be 'freaking' around you Faith. In a good way. In a good way as in I like it." Her smile grew tentatively.
Faith smiled back. "Ya know, I kinda like it too." She laughed softly, still in a bit of awe over this whole situation. "Look at us, all with the.....are we like bondin' or somethin' here? Although I gotta say it seems like more of a 'or somethin'." She didn't even understand it herself to be able to explain it. But it was there. And Willow was right. It was a good thing.
"Somethings then," Willow said, her voice ever so-slightly impish. "I think I can be alright with somethings." She purposefully over-accented her g's, if only to tease Faith about a letter she so frequently liked to forget. "I can..." Willow stopped short suddenly, unable to hold back a yawn.
"Makin' fun of me now Red?" Faith laughed, rolling her eyes at Willow's overexaggerated endings on her words. "Guess I oughta take that yawn as my cue to get outta here." She reluctantly stood up from the bed, stretching her arms over her head and walking over to the window. As she looked outside and saw the tree, she laughed and turned back to Willow. "You gotta admit that was one grand entrance." She wasn't sure why she was stalling, instead of just taking off.
Willow remained sitting on the bed. "Well," she offered. "Loud if not grand." She paused for a moment, considering. "You can stay here if you would like...just stay. It doesn't have to be about being here, it can be about not being somewhere else. I get that." And she did, it was part of what drew her to Faith. "It is up to you."
Faith stood there for a minute, deep in thought as she pondered the offer. Shrugging out of her jacket, she dropped it on the floor and walked back over, sitting on the bed. She leaned down, slipping her boots off and looked over at Willow with a smirk. "So here's me. Just stayin'." She wasn't sure of what she was doing, but going with it. It felt right. It felt good. And she understood and meant what she'd said. It was just staying, and she was fine with that. She looked over at Willow, giving her a smile as she slid back on the bed and rested her head on the pillow.
Willow reached over Faith, and turned off the light. "Goodnight 'just staying.'" She mimicked Faith's style of speech ever so softly. "Sweet dreams."