Stake 021
Survival skills 101 - Pay attention kids because I’m not fucking repeating myself.
If you’re over the age of twelve the woods shouldn’t scare you. Seriously, it’s just fucking sad.
Stop. Fucking. Screaming. You’ll just attract shit no one wants to deal with and I don’t want to hear you all freaking out like headless chickens when I’m trying to sunbathe.
Don’t get eaten or bitten or attacked. Most things will leave you the hell alone if you leave them alone so don’t go trying to be a hero when you’re not okay. Leave killing big ugly things to me.
Stay in the shade when it’s the hottest part of the day - if you don’t know that then ask someone else who gives a shit, even I learned that in school and I dropped out - and drink fluids. Not booze. Unless you want to die and feel free to do that because the house could stand to lose a bunch of you whiny bitches already.
Strip off. Seriously, I think almost all of us are in the woods now so you might as well go for it. Do whatever you need to do in your clothes like getting supplies and setting traps but if you’re just lying around then strip off. And don’t wear leather okay? You will fucking melt.
You’re probably better in a group but just don’t include me in that. If you really, really need help - if something tries to eat you - then you can scream for me but otherwise stay the fuck away while I try and ignore you all.
Oh and if anyone busts out with some hippy guitar folksy sing-along shit I will beat you to death.
[[ooc: Feel free to bug Faith but just be prepared to have her throw things or be more abusive than usual.]]