[Otacon was still pretty shaken up about everything that had happened recently, but he was safely back home now and considerably more relaxed than he had been at first. Although there was no chance in hell he'd be leaving the apartment for a while. He was in the kitchen at that moment--with a lot of practice, he was starting to be a passable cook ( Read more... )

HAL!

[Ivan's voice is clearly distressed. Hal isn't answering codec, he hasn't come home since yesterday and he's heard nothing of his location at all. He searches the halls almost blindly, abandoning his chair for long stretches of time despite the sheer agony of the gesture. Where can he beHal never disappears. Sure, sometimes he'll get wrapped ( Read more... )

[Otacon had actually been feeling pretty good lately, given the circumstances. Overall, he tried to be as optimistic and positive as he could, so it was hard to stay miserable forever ( Read more... )

[Guilt is something that no man escapes. Be he prophet or saint, soldier or whispering child, no one can escape guilt, as no one can escape time. Guilt for failure, guilt for error, guilt for crimes best buried beneath lies... none can escape it. Following his talk with the other Snake in the Mispost Room, Ivan found himself wandering blind, the ( Read more... )

[He hadn't slept in days. Ordinarily, that was perfectly normal. Otacon would stay awake working for days on end, forgetting that most people needed to eat or sleep at some point. He enjoyed working on something new, no matter how difficult or time-consuming it might be. But there was nothing for him to work on. Nothing to distract him from the ( Read more... )

[Someone looking in on the bar might notice a man sitting in a wheelchair there. This particular Ivan rarely came out of hiding, but right then, he needed the comfort. He stared blankly off into space, not bothering with glasses. He simply drank from the bottle, too fast, and too much. It had been a while since Ivan had felt so truly lost. The ( Read more... )

[Otacon didn't sleep well. That much had been true since college, back in the days when he had far less to worry about and a little less to hate himself for. When he worked, the engineer forgot about eating and sleeping altogether until he was finished; overall, he got by reasonably well as an insomniac ( Read more... )

[He shouldn't be out of bed.

It hurts to even move, but after his encounter with Evil Fear, all he wants is to get away and just disappear.

It takes all his effort to recover the wheelchair and his things from where they're stashed without being seen, but he finally manages it, slipping out of the infirmary. He's not sure where he's going to go, but ( Read more... )

[Ivan hasn't feel this bad since the months directly following his accident. He's lying on a bed in the infirmary, staring at the ceiling. Since the attack from Evil Fear, he's hardly spoken, barely eaten. The days seem to have blurred into each other. Even with the pills the doctor gave him, he can't rest. It hurts too much to even try. Even if he ( Read more... )

(BACKDATED TO FEBRUARY 15th)

[Get up.]

I... I can't..

[The voice in his head is so familiar.]

[Get up. NOW.]

It hurts...

[GET. UP. Stop whining and get up!]

[He tries, managing to push himself up a little, but even as he does, his arms give out and he falls back. The wheelchair is pinning him down where he lies at the bottom of the stairs Fear pushed him ( Read more... )