Black Friday: NPC Shopocalypse

[volginswaifu]

Very suddenly, in the afterglow of a warm Thanksgiving dinner (for those of whom are Yankee bastards), the shopping gates of hell open in the Nexus and in spill NPCs until every nook and cranny of hallway is a bustling like a New York subway

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[volginswaifu]

[Ivan was unfortunate enough to be in the hall at the time. After nearly getting trampled he's being pushed along by the crowd now, cursing and griping at them loudly while hitting whoever is closest with the butt of his shotgun.]

/Who the hell are you people?! Get off of me!/

[butthurtsleeper]

[Unfortunately, EVA also happened to be in the middle of the hallway when the "Black Friday sales" began. He has already run out of bullets, and was running low on energy as well. He needs to rest; the man's been running around since early this morning.]

[The spy doesn't hear Raikov's voice nearby with all of the loud and frantic yells of NPC's drowning it out. EVA just continues moving until he comes across a nearby closet, and ducks inside.]

[volginswaifu]

[Finally fed up, Ivan clears part of the crowd with a few blasts of his shotgun. With the hall population dwindling for half-a-second he has a chance to look around, spot a closet, and duck shamelessly inside.]

[He presses back against something strangely warm in there.]

[butthutsrleeper]

[EVA barely got time to look at his newfound roommate- or 'closetmate', perhaps- before he stormed inside and back up against the spy's chest. Naturally, EVA first assumed the person entering to be one of those crazed shoppers- so he was quick to shove Raikov away in the darkness of the closet.]

Get off!

[volginswaifu]

Hey! [He staggered forward, hitting the door before spinning around and pointing the barrel of his gun blindly in EVA's direction.]

Who is it?! [It was too dark to see, and he didn't recognize the voice just yet.]

[butthutsrleeper]

[Like hell EVA was actually going to respond when he knew that his fellow occupant was just as blind as he was right now. Hearing the familiar metallic noise of a gun being set, the spy swiftly reaches to parry the shotgun off to the side and hold it there. At the same time he gets close enough to maybe make out some features of the other man's appearance; and the voice soon becomes recognizable.]

...Raikov.

[volginswaifu]

[Raikov kept hold of his gun with one hand, but reached back to grab his Spetsnaz knife with the other. However, he retaliation he'd been planning was cut short when he heard his name.]

[That voice was familiar...]

Oh..."Toby", right?

...What the hell is going on outside?

[butthutsrleeper]

[The spy exhales through his nose in annoyance.] Who knows.

Why don't you find out? [He pushes Raikov toward the closet door again]

Go find your own hiding place.

[volginswaifu]

[Ivan sidesteps EVA, making his way to the far end of the closet.]

No way, I'm the one with the gun here, you go!

[To emphasis his point, he pumps the barrel.]

[butthutsrleeper]

[EVA stands his ground] No way.

I'm done taking orders from you, "sir."

[volginswaifu]

Would you rather take orders from the barrel of my gun?

[Ivan pressed his back against the closet wall, squinting through the darkness to make sure EVA wasn't going to try and pull any sudden moves.]

[butthutsrleeper]

[Except he does! In the form of a kick aimed right where he assumes Raikov's crotch to be.]

[EVA's definitely not planning on being killed by Raikov a second time. The spy moves to the side and goes to try and wrestle the gun out of Raikov's hands now; aiming it away from himself.] I'm not going, asshole!

[volginswaifu]

[The kick to his nads draws out a pathetic squeal from the Russian, and EVA should find no trouble in prying the gun from his hands as he curls over, cradling his balls.]

Owwooww...[And through all that pain, he manages to realize his gun was missing.] D-don't shoot...

[butthrutsleeper]

[The spy quickly readies the shotgun; aiming right for Raikov.]

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow your head off right now.

[volginswaifu]

[Still a little delirious with pain, Ivan can only cower so much further as his own gun is pointed at him.]

Because...then...

[But just as he was fumbling for an answer, a hand crashed through the door.]

Aaah!

[butthutsrleeper]

!

[EVA looks up from Raikov to see another batch of crazed shoppers crashing through the doorway.] God Damnit...

[He lifts the shotgun; firing it in their direction and blowing the group backward. The spy then sneers at Raikov.] This is YOUR fault... I bet they followed you right over here!!!