Easily digestible bites.
More musings, falling as randomly as the raindrops that soaked me so thoroughly this morning. I love the rain, though. It's very soothing falling outside my window as I sleep. It creates a great atmosphere when you're listening to your mp3 player, or CD player, or Victrola. Seriously, how many awesome songs are about rain? Just the entire Counting Crows catalog, for starters. Plus, it cleanses and gives life. It was just misty by the time I had to walk to the office from Foggy Bottom, and it was much cooler than it's been all week. I may be a summer type of guy, but I hate muggy weather. Of course, the best part about rain is when you get the urge to say, "oh, screw it", and just run around in a downpour getting drenched. It's a great release. But it wasn't quite one of those days. Maybe later.
If any of you know my grandmother Boots, you'll appreciate this story. Well, even if you don't know her, you'll laugh. Apparently my mom visited her at the hospital, and one of those smarmy ET-style magazine shows was blathering on about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. So what is Boots' take on TomKat? "Who does he think he's kidding? You know he's gay." I love that woman.
There is an excellent article by Patrick Hruby at espn.com examining the role of "hate" in sports fandom. If you're interested, it might just give you some insight as to why I'm so, um, passionate when I'm watching those local sports teams - and their rivals. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=hruby/050705
Now kids, sit back and let Uncle Kevin tell you a story. A sad, funny, mixed-up story. You see, I belong to a website called Friendster, which is like the lazy older bastard brother of Facebook. It allows me to create a profile and network with my friends, without the pesky necessity of hiding my profile to the public or requiring a college email address for membership. When I first signed up several months ago, I was inundated with friendship requests from HOTT GURLZ!LMFAO. These messages all had a lot in common: very little detail, poor spelling and grammar, why, two of these girls even had the same picture. It was a very nice picture, but suspicious nonetheless. I told myself then and there that I wouldn't even respond to these strangers.
So yesterday, I get a message from an unknown "Jen". I suspected more of the same, but there was a personal touch to this one that piqued my curiosity. It went a little something...like-a this:
"Hi there, I'm Jen. I couldn't sleep so I decided to do some browsing and happened on your ad and I thought I'd drop you a line. I recently moved to Baltimore and I thought this would be a great way to meet new people. Outside of my work and my neighbor I don't know anyone around here. So tell me more about yourself? What brings you to world of online personals? To be honest I liked your ad and thought your pic was cute and according to the site we live pretty close by each other. We should meet up for coffee or someting, it'd give us a chance to really get to know each other. LOL, sorry I have a tendency to ramble on sometimes, tell you what if you're interested just drop me a line and we can get the ball rolling. I rarely have time to check this mail but you can always get a message to me at ******@hotmail.com. Well its getting late, I should probably get to bed soon.. I hope to hear from you soon.
Jen"
Yes, I'm still enough of a gentleman that I have blanked out her email address. I was a tad suspicious because of the "online personals" remark; my profile says I'm interested in friends. That's all. I am also fully aware of the sad and sketchy nature of meeting singles online; for all I know, she could be Larry. Or a raging psycho. Or an organ-harvester. I'm not sure which is worst. But I figured that I didn't have anything to lose by exchanging a few emails, and maybe meeting in a public setting (with a friend and a pocket knife in tow) when the time seemed right. So I fired off a quick email telling a bit more about myself.
This morning she had replied, and the news was...less than encouraging? Too encouraging? Just plain weird? See for yourself:
"Hey Kevin, thanks for getting in touch! So how's your Thursday going?
Just another fun work day for me! :-) A bit about me....I'm a Miami woman,
who moved to the Baltimore area for my job (sales) and I officially know 0
people. I never imagined a change like this would be so hard and
lonely to say the least. I definitely want to meet up with you soon if you're
down! According to myspace, I live close by so we could really meet whenever
you want. GREAT NEWS (if you're a baseball fan) my boss gave me 2 tickets
to the Orioles/Red Sox game on Sunday...it's at 1:35PM. Care to come with
me???
I posted A LOT more pics (as I said I'd give you!) on my newest
personal, some are topless but NOT bottomless, but they're at
http://www.matchinglust.com/jen00 My profile is listed in that site
under "BackSideBabe". I wanted to post my personal info (i.e. phone # and my
personal email address) there for 3 real simple reasons. 1) It's
DISCREET! 2) I never have to worry about being contacted by children since only
adults are allowed in the site and 3) I know all the replies I receive are
genuine.
I've met 3 people off of this site, and it's truly made me feel safe.
I had a nightmare of an experience in the past that I don't want to happen
again. Thats all I've got to say right now, let's just plan on meeting soon!
Cause you know what that means... ;)
Give me a call!
Jen
***The following is a requirement of this website: "If you are offended
by
adult material or are not of legal age to view such material, or if you
simply would not like to hear from any members from this website,
follow
this link to be removed:" http://www.matchinglust.com/subscription.php"
Haha, um, yeah. Are you starting to figure out what's wrong with this picture? (By the way, I mentioned nothing about pictures, except that the one she'd posted on Friendster was cute.) A quick once-over of the website by a friend (no, I'm at least not dumb enough to visit porn sites at work) confirmed that yes, she is a prostitute. I have several conflicting emotions about this. Number one, I'm very embarrassed that I was desperate enough to betray my common sense and take a leap of faith when it was a fairly obvious setup. This is a special kind of pathetic that I haven't experienced very often. Number b, I think it's pretty funny. Only I could accidentally solicit a prostitute. Thirdly, it's kind of ironic, considering the subject matter of my directing thesis. Life imitating art, and all and all. But, as Carrie said (yes, we're speaking again - talk to me if you want the story), "Hey, come watch a baseball game and then let's have sex! Sounds pretty good to me." Sigh. I'll hold on to the hope that I can actually lose my virginity without paying someone.
In case you were wondering, though - it's okay to laugh. In fact, it would be wrong NOT to laugh. Am I right?
If any of you know my grandmother Boots, you'll appreciate this story. Well, even if you don't know her, you'll laugh. Apparently my mom visited her at the hospital, and one of those smarmy ET-style magazine shows was blathering on about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. So what is Boots' take on TomKat? "Who does he think he's kidding? You know he's gay." I love that woman.
There is an excellent article by Patrick Hruby at espn.com examining the role of "hate" in sports fandom. If you're interested, it might just give you some insight as to why I'm so, um, passionate when I'm watching those local sports teams - and their rivals. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=hruby/050705
Now kids, sit back and let Uncle Kevin tell you a story. A sad, funny, mixed-up story. You see, I belong to a website called Friendster, which is like the lazy older bastard brother of Facebook. It allows me to create a profile and network with my friends, without the pesky necessity of hiding my profile to the public or requiring a college email address for membership. When I first signed up several months ago, I was inundated with friendship requests from HOTT GURLZ!LMFAO. These messages all had a lot in common: very little detail, poor spelling and grammar, why, two of these girls even had the same picture. It was a very nice picture, but suspicious nonetheless. I told myself then and there that I wouldn't even respond to these strangers.
So yesterday, I get a message from an unknown "Jen". I suspected more of the same, but there was a personal touch to this one that piqued my curiosity. It went a little something...like-a this:
"Hi there, I'm Jen. I couldn't sleep so I decided to do some browsing and happened on your ad and I thought I'd drop you a line. I recently moved to Baltimore and I thought this would be a great way to meet new people. Outside of my work and my neighbor I don't know anyone around here. So tell me more about yourself? What brings you to world of online personals? To be honest I liked your ad and thought your pic was cute and according to the site we live pretty close by each other. We should meet up for coffee or someting, it'd give us a chance to really get to know each other. LOL, sorry I have a tendency to ramble on sometimes, tell you what if you're interested just drop me a line and we can get the ball rolling. I rarely have time to check this mail but you can always get a message to me at ******@hotmail.com. Well its getting late, I should probably get to bed soon.. I hope to hear from you soon.
Jen"
Yes, I'm still enough of a gentleman that I have blanked out her email address. I was a tad suspicious because of the "online personals" remark; my profile says I'm interested in friends. That's all. I am also fully aware of the sad and sketchy nature of meeting singles online; for all I know, she could be Larry. Or a raging psycho. Or an organ-harvester. I'm not sure which is worst. But I figured that I didn't have anything to lose by exchanging a few emails, and maybe meeting in a public setting (with a friend and a pocket knife in tow) when the time seemed right. So I fired off a quick email telling a bit more about myself.
This morning she had replied, and the news was...less than encouraging? Too encouraging? Just plain weird? See for yourself:
"Hey Kevin, thanks for getting in touch! So how's your Thursday going?
Just another fun work day for me! :-) A bit about me....I'm a Miami woman,
who moved to the Baltimore area for my job (sales) and I officially know 0
people. I never imagined a change like this would be so hard and
lonely to say the least. I definitely want to meet up with you soon if you're
down! According to myspace, I live close by so we could really meet whenever
you want. GREAT NEWS (if you're a baseball fan) my boss gave me 2 tickets
to the Orioles/Red Sox game on Sunday...it's at 1:35PM. Care to come with
me???
I posted A LOT more pics (as I said I'd give you!) on my newest
personal, some are topless but NOT bottomless, but they're at
http://www.matchinglust.com/jen00 My profile is listed in that site
under "BackSideBabe". I wanted to post my personal info (i.e. phone # and my
personal email address) there for 3 real simple reasons. 1) It's
DISCREET! 2) I never have to worry about being contacted by children since only
adults are allowed in the site and 3) I know all the replies I receive are
genuine.
I've met 3 people off of this site, and it's truly made me feel safe.
I had a nightmare of an experience in the past that I don't want to happen
again. Thats all I've got to say right now, let's just plan on meeting soon!
Cause you know what that means... ;)
Give me a call!
Jen
***The following is a requirement of this website: "If you are offended
by
adult material or are not of legal age to view such material, or if you
simply would not like to hear from any members from this website,
follow
this link to be removed:" http://www.matchinglust.com/subscription.php"
Haha, um, yeah. Are you starting to figure out what's wrong with this picture? (By the way, I mentioned nothing about pictures, except that the one she'd posted on Friendster was cute.) A quick once-over of the website by a friend (no, I'm at least not dumb enough to visit porn sites at work) confirmed that yes, she is a prostitute. I have several conflicting emotions about this. Number one, I'm very embarrassed that I was desperate enough to betray my common sense and take a leap of faith when it was a fairly obvious setup. This is a special kind of pathetic that I haven't experienced very often. Number b, I think it's pretty funny. Only I could accidentally solicit a prostitute. Thirdly, it's kind of ironic, considering the subject matter of my directing thesis. Life imitating art, and all and all. But, as Carrie said (yes, we're speaking again - talk to me if you want the story), "Hey, come watch a baseball game and then let's have sex! Sounds pretty good to me." Sigh. I'll hold on to the hope that I can actually lose my virginity without paying someone.
In case you were wondering, though - it's okay to laugh. In fact, it would be wrong NOT to laugh. Am I right?