I am avoiding homework right now. I admit it.
A friend commented today that I work a lot and my boss was very insistent on asking if she was making me work too much this weekend. Add that to the comment about everyone working four hours so I decide to work twelve AND my dedication to plays I thought I would write a quick livejournal post, because I am probably going to want to remember this answer later.
First off all, yes, I work a lot. I worked 60 hour work weeks over the summer without batting an eyelid. I have done twelve hour days at the zoo more than once and totally voluntary, I work a lot at my college job, where I also willingly work twelve hours and very little will stop me from going in when called in. I will put hours into plays at college and get nothing back but stress, sleepless nights and obscene amounts of worrying. (well, I will get a happy audience and happy actors, which is really nice, I get thank yous sometimes too) So, yeah.
Here is the thing, I love being helpful. I freaking LOVE being helpful. I don't think people understand the level of happiness I feel when I help someone out. It does not matter how small the task, looking something up on the computer, answering a question, making them food, doing the lights for a show, setting up a microphone, being the assistant director, doing a dino camp project, tying a kids shoe, it doesn't matter. I love being helpful.
I also love to be kept busy. If I am busy the voices leave me alone. If I am being helpful the voices leave me alone. If I am busy because I am being helpful this is the best of all. Now, I should clarify what I mean by busy. I love things like volunteering at the zoo, and work because I can go somewhere, do them and then go home and troll the internet. Which is different from school because the work never ends. School is never ending stress, work (at least for me so far) is a task you can accomplish or at least work on and then go home. I like work. I like working on stories because that also gives me something to do where I feel accomplished. Does that make sense? Maybe. Don't get me wrong, I also love the feeling of not having anything to do, after I have done something or helpful, that's why I loved this summer. I was working so much that I could just come home and be lazy or play a video game. Once I was home I was free.
So combine my love of being helpful and being busy and you get part of the answer on why I work so much. I also see it as just something to do. The Boss asks you to come in on Saturday after you spend Friday working the Drag show? Sure. I also have a really hard time saying no to people. I mean, here is the thing, I can either know ahead of time that I will be crazy busy and do my best to get stuff done. Or I can say no and feel crazy guilty. Kes doesn't like feeling guilty. That's the thing, I don't go around begging for work, most of the time it just happens.
Now yes, the plays don't just happen and the volunteering at the zoo don't just happen, that is Kes being helpful and wanting things to succeed. She is trying to cut back on her play participation and has talked before how the theatre gods have her soul. AND work gets Kes money which means she can buy food which means she actually eats. yaaaaaaaay food for Kes.
First off all, yes, I work a lot. I worked 60 hour work weeks over the summer without batting an eyelid. I have done twelve hour days at the zoo more than once and totally voluntary, I work a lot at my college job, where I also willingly work twelve hours and very little will stop me from going in when called in. I will put hours into plays at college and get nothing back but stress, sleepless nights and obscene amounts of worrying. (well, I will get a happy audience and happy actors, which is really nice, I get thank yous sometimes too) So, yeah.
Here is the thing, I love being helpful. I freaking LOVE being helpful. I don't think people understand the level of happiness I feel when I help someone out. It does not matter how small the task, looking something up on the computer, answering a question, making them food, doing the lights for a show, setting up a microphone, being the assistant director, doing a dino camp project, tying a kids shoe, it doesn't matter. I love being helpful.
I also love to be kept busy. If I am busy the voices leave me alone. If I am being helpful the voices leave me alone. If I am busy because I am being helpful this is the best of all. Now, I should clarify what I mean by busy. I love things like volunteering at the zoo, and work because I can go somewhere, do them and then go home and troll the internet. Which is different from school because the work never ends. School is never ending stress, work (at least for me so far) is a task you can accomplish or at least work on and then go home. I like work. I like working on stories because that also gives me something to do where I feel accomplished. Does that make sense? Maybe. Don't get me wrong, I also love the feeling of not having anything to do, after I have done something or helpful, that's why I loved this summer. I was working so much that I could just come home and be lazy or play a video game. Once I was home I was free.
So combine my love of being helpful and being busy and you get part of the answer on why I work so much. I also see it as just something to do. The Boss asks you to come in on Saturday after you spend Friday working the Drag show? Sure. I also have a really hard time saying no to people. I mean, here is the thing, I can either know ahead of time that I will be crazy busy and do my best to get stuff done. Or I can say no and feel crazy guilty. Kes doesn't like feeling guilty. That's the thing, I don't go around begging for work, most of the time it just happens.
Now yes, the plays don't just happen and the volunteering at the zoo don't just happen, that is Kes being helpful and wanting things to succeed. She is trying to cut back on her play participation and has talked before how the theatre gods have her soul. AND work gets Kes money which means she can buy food which means she actually eats. yaaaaaaaay food for Kes.