Questions - L Word - Jenny/Shane ; Just for One Night - W&G - Karen/Grace
Title: Questions.
Author: Keija.
Fandom: The L Word.
Pairing: Jenny/Shane [-ish].
Word Count: 1000.
Rating: 13+
Author Note: Hints of Jenny/Shane, for challenge #35. Changed the tense: needed to needs.
---
Shane needs some answers. Needs them and still can't make herself ask the questions. Every night, when she closes her eyes, she's haunted by the mental picture of Jenny, bleeding and crying in the bathroom, as close to the edge as Shane has ever seen anyone. She doesn't understand how things could have gotten that bad without her noticing or why Jenny didn't talk to her about it before now. It feels as though Jenny didn't trust her enough to tell her and it feels as though she's let Jenny down. Jenny's possibly the best friend Shane's ever really had and Shane doesn't let her friends down, ever, so feeling as though she has now is hurting her. Especially since it's Jenny.
She can't help feeling like she contributed to the problem by dating Carmen, even if Jenny herself suggested that she should, and she can't stem the flow of guilt she feels when she thinks about what she and Carmen were doing, shortly before Jenny finally fell apart. It's been two days since then and Jenny is quiet and far too calm, her smile paired with a hint of tears in her eyes. At a loss, Shane suggested that Jenny call her parents for help and now Jenny has a bus ticket home for next Saturday. Shane doesn't want her to leave but she can't think of any way to help her here, so she hasn't argued against it. She wants to ask Jenny why, before Jenny leaves: why didn't she talk about it, why didn't she trust her to help. But she's afraid of the answers, afraid Jenny really will tell the truth and she won't like what she hears.
Alice and Dana have come round to visit and that gives Shane more things to worry about, because she's nearly positive she can see cracks appearing in their relationship. It's in the way Alice watches, wistfully, when Dana's across the room, as though she's mourning something she's lost. It's in the way Dana shifts to avoid contact where before she would have moved closer and the way doubt clouds her eyes when she looks at Alice and thinks no one's watching. Shane's afraid for them, the way she was afraid for Bette and Tina, because she really believes they're meant to be together and that, together, they're as close to being a perfect match as you can get.
Alice and Jenny are chatting about Alice's work at KCRW while Dana wanders into the kitchen in search of another drink. Shane's about to follow her but stops when she realises that she doesn't know what she'd say. What she wants to do is tell Dana not to let go of Alice and what she wants to ask is if Dana thinks Shane's a bad friend, but both those things will lead to 'A Conversation' and she doesn't want to start one now. She can't talk to Jenny until Dana and Alice leave and from experience, she knows that Conversations can go on all night. So she wanders into the front room instead, taking a seat on the couch next to Jenny and smiling briefly when Jenny glances her way, drinking another mouthful of beer as she thinks.
Jenny has seemed more fragile over the last few days and Shane feels a strong urge to protect her from life, even though she knows that it's impossible. She misses the playful Jenny who'd existed a few months ago, the one she'd first gotten to know when they became roommates, and she wonders if the 'help' her parents get for her will bring that part of Jenny back. Then she wonders if Jenny will even come back, because she's been considering it a sure thing and it might not be, and what she herself will do about living in the house until she does. She and Mark can't pay for it by themselves and Jenny won't be in a position to contribute anything; she won't be here. Selfishly, she wants this all to have never happened and for things to return to the security she'd started to depend on.
She looks up when Alice gets to her feet, mumbling something about checking on Dana, and then she's left alone with Jenny, who turns to face her with a concerned expression. Shane could almost laugh at the ridiculousness of Jenny looking at her with concern, it should be the other way around, but she's touched by it all the same.
"You don't seem yourself," Jenny says quietly, putting a hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" Shane echoes back to her in disbelief. "I think that's my question."
"But we already established that I'm not okay," Jenny's smile is wry and if she's trying to make a joke out of her problems, it somehow falls short of what she intended because Shane doesn't see anything funny in what's happening to her.
"Shane?" Jenny moves closer so that she can force Shane to meet her eyes, hands warm where they grasp Shane's shoulders, and Shane can't resist her, looking up as Jenny adds, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry," Shane sighs, giving into impulse and reaching out to hug her. Even now she can't bring herself to ask Jenny the questions she needs answers to and after a moment she lets her go, wondering why it feels so hard to do that; pushing away the idea that she might care more for Jenny than she thinks she does. Jenny settles back into her corner of the couch, watching Shane with a thoughtful gaze.
"Hey, Shane?"
"Yeah?"
"When I get 'sane' and come back, we should go on a road trip."
Shane looks over at her and Jenny's expression is sweet, deceptively enigmatic.
"That sounds like fun," she agrees, as Dana and Alice rejoin them, understanding what Jenny's trying to tell her.
Jenny intends to come back. And Shane doesn't even try to deny the relief that news brings her.
Title: Just For One Night.
Author: Keija.
Fandom: Will & Grace.
Pairing: Karen/Grace.
Word Count: 1000.
Rating: 13+
Author Note: I wrote this a while back and forgot to post it here. For challenge #29 and bit too (parenthesis-y) when I went back and re-read it, heh. Fake LJ cut is to my fic-post in the grace_karen community (to save reposting the whole thing).
( It's funny how fake you can be in a place that promotes individuality. )
Author: Keija.
Fandom: The L Word.
Pairing: Jenny/Shane [-ish].
Word Count: 1000.
Rating: 13+
Author Note: Hints of Jenny/Shane, for challenge #35. Changed the tense: needed to needs.
---
Shane needs some answers. Needs them and still can't make herself ask the questions. Every night, when she closes her eyes, she's haunted by the mental picture of Jenny, bleeding and crying in the bathroom, as close to the edge as Shane has ever seen anyone. She doesn't understand how things could have gotten that bad without her noticing or why Jenny didn't talk to her about it before now. It feels as though Jenny didn't trust her enough to tell her and it feels as though she's let Jenny down. Jenny's possibly the best friend Shane's ever really had and Shane doesn't let her friends down, ever, so feeling as though she has now is hurting her. Especially since it's Jenny.
She can't help feeling like she contributed to the problem by dating Carmen, even if Jenny herself suggested that she should, and she can't stem the flow of guilt she feels when she thinks about what she and Carmen were doing, shortly before Jenny finally fell apart. It's been two days since then and Jenny is quiet and far too calm, her smile paired with a hint of tears in her eyes. At a loss, Shane suggested that Jenny call her parents for help and now Jenny has a bus ticket home for next Saturday. Shane doesn't want her to leave but she can't think of any way to help her here, so she hasn't argued against it. She wants to ask Jenny why, before Jenny leaves: why didn't she talk about it, why didn't she trust her to help. But she's afraid of the answers, afraid Jenny really will tell the truth and she won't like what she hears.
Alice and Dana have come round to visit and that gives Shane more things to worry about, because she's nearly positive she can see cracks appearing in their relationship. It's in the way Alice watches, wistfully, when Dana's across the room, as though she's mourning something she's lost. It's in the way Dana shifts to avoid contact where before she would have moved closer and the way doubt clouds her eyes when she looks at Alice and thinks no one's watching. Shane's afraid for them, the way she was afraid for Bette and Tina, because she really believes they're meant to be together and that, together, they're as close to being a perfect match as you can get.
Alice and Jenny are chatting about Alice's work at KCRW while Dana wanders into the kitchen in search of another drink. Shane's about to follow her but stops when she realises that she doesn't know what she'd say. What she wants to do is tell Dana not to let go of Alice and what she wants to ask is if Dana thinks Shane's a bad friend, but both those things will lead to 'A Conversation' and she doesn't want to start one now. She can't talk to Jenny until Dana and Alice leave and from experience, she knows that Conversations can go on all night. So she wanders into the front room instead, taking a seat on the couch next to Jenny and smiling briefly when Jenny glances her way, drinking another mouthful of beer as she thinks.
Jenny has seemed more fragile over the last few days and Shane feels a strong urge to protect her from life, even though she knows that it's impossible. She misses the playful Jenny who'd existed a few months ago, the one she'd first gotten to know when they became roommates, and she wonders if the 'help' her parents get for her will bring that part of Jenny back. Then she wonders if Jenny will even come back, because she's been considering it a sure thing and it might not be, and what she herself will do about living in the house until she does. She and Mark can't pay for it by themselves and Jenny won't be in a position to contribute anything; she won't be here. Selfishly, she wants this all to have never happened and for things to return to the security she'd started to depend on.
She looks up when Alice gets to her feet, mumbling something about checking on Dana, and then she's left alone with Jenny, who turns to face her with a concerned expression. Shane could almost laugh at the ridiculousness of Jenny looking at her with concern, it should be the other way around, but she's touched by it all the same.
"You don't seem yourself," Jenny says quietly, putting a hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" Shane echoes back to her in disbelief. "I think that's my question."
"But we already established that I'm not okay," Jenny's smile is wry and if she's trying to make a joke out of her problems, it somehow falls short of what she intended because Shane doesn't see anything funny in what's happening to her.
"Shane?" Jenny moves closer so that she can force Shane to meet her eyes, hands warm where they grasp Shane's shoulders, and Shane can't resist her, looking up as Jenny adds, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry," Shane sighs, giving into impulse and reaching out to hug her. Even now she can't bring herself to ask Jenny the questions she needs answers to and after a moment she lets her go, wondering why it feels so hard to do that; pushing away the idea that she might care more for Jenny than she thinks she does. Jenny settles back into her corner of the couch, watching Shane with a thoughtful gaze.
"Hey, Shane?"
"Yeah?"
"When I get 'sane' and come back, we should go on a road trip."
Shane looks over at her and Jenny's expression is sweet, deceptively enigmatic.
"That sounds like fun," she agrees, as Dana and Alice rejoin them, understanding what Jenny's trying to tell her.
Jenny intends to come back. And Shane doesn't even try to deny the relief that news brings her.
Title: Just For One Night.
Author: Keija.
Fandom: Will & Grace.
Pairing: Karen/Grace.
Word Count: 1000.
Rating: 13+
Author Note: I wrote this a while back and forgot to post it here. For challenge #29 and bit too (parenthesis-y) when I went back and re-read it, heh. Fake LJ cut is to my fic-post in the grace_karen community (to save reposting the whole thing).
( It's funny how fake you can be in a place that promotes individuality. )