Everything Ends
That's the theme of the fifth and final season of Six Feet Under. Now I'll admit, this could never be my all-time favourite show. It's too soap opera-ish. Granted, most dramas have that tendancy - but when they start with the seemingly random bed-hopping and dramatic, life-changing events that happen all at once, it just gets to be too much for me. (Like parts of Grey's Anatomy this past year - oy!) Generally, I've noticed, this happens around the third season of a show. Allan and I were discussing that today and decided that the third season is probably the point where the creators have used up their original ideas for the show and are casting around to see where they want their characters to land next. There were parts of the third season of Six Feet Under that I didn't like because, quite simply, I didn't believe them. Some of them were unnatural to the characters and a lot of the situations seemed contrived or forced. It's a shame, then, that I immediately began to watch the fourth season, because I was still put-out about the third season. But they had left it on such a dramatic cliff-hanger (it really started to pick up in the last few episodes) that I had to. So I immersed myself in the show, occasionally taking a few days in between, just as a breather. Tonight, I finished the show.
Claire: I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.
When I first started to watch Six Feet Under, I liked the opening sequences of us seeing who dies. It was a good way to start things, since that's what the show is about. After awhile, it became normal. But then...then I started to become afraid of all of those deaths. There are so many ways to die, ways that I hadn't even thought of. It seemed like the message of the show was that no matter what, you could never be safe. But then it started to get through to me...the message is something I've always known and been okay with. Eventually, we all die. Some day, I'll die. It's not happy, it's not sad - it's just the price we pay for being given life in the first place.
Nate: I'm just saying you only get one life. There's no God, no rules, no judgments except for those you accept or create for yourself. Now once it's over, it's over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here? Really, why not?
In a way, this show came to me at the right time. I started watching it just a little over a month after Rachel died. The first episode was awful, quite frankly - not because it was a bad episode but because the first death is a bus smashing into a car. The way it's filmed, you can see the bus bearing down on the car through the driver-side window and the driver has no idea and it's just awful. I nearly gouged my eyes out, actually - I was holding my knitting, of course, and went to cover my eyes because it was so awful, and the knitting needles just barely grazed my cheekbones, thanmk goodness. But I had to stop it at that point and calm down and remember - this was not Rachel. This was not her death. And maybe it's similar, and maybe it was just as awful - worse, I'm sure - than what I was seeing. So I kept watching, and I began to care for the characters. At first, I didn't like all of them - but big brother Allan told me to keep with it, and I'm really glad he did. (Even though I've called to yell at him several times for getting me addicted to the show.) The way it explores death and life and all of the things in between that come up - it's beautiful. It provided me with so much perspective and information about what we feel in the presence of the danger and the unknown. This show was like...therapy for me, in a way. It's an odd thing to say, and I don't think I've ever said or ever will say that about a TV program again. These awful things would happen on the show and people would fall apart...but then they would knit themselves back together and it would remind me - someday, things will get easier. There are so many things on the show that I want to share with Sarah, so many things that make me think, "Wow, that would really be helpful!" But I don't always feel comfortable telling her about the show...heck, I was hesitant to even tell here that I was watching the show, like maybe she would hate me or think I was awful for doing that. And I don't know that I could ever show her that first episode...that she would ever be able to handle it, with it being so similar. But still, there are moments where I want to just pull out a scene and hand it to her and say, "Here, this sounds similar to what you've been saying. Try it on." Like maybe this will help her, even though nothing really can. That makes her sound worse than she is though...Sarah's coping skills overwhelm me. I could never hold up as well as she has.
Brenda: You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you're called a widow, or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too fucking awful to even have a name.
This final episode...I had been planning on saving it. But I kept thinking about how nice it would be to have closure - because I knew the last episode would tie up all the loose ends. And it was beautiful in that way, and comforting. But just when I expected it to end, it kept going. *SPOILER HERE - SKIP THIS, ALLAN* It showed this montage stretching years into the future of all the wonderful things the characters do in their lives. That made me so happy - I'm not always much for happy endings like that, squishy cheery stuff - but this time, I liked it. So it was a shock when the montage continued and showed the way all of the main characters die. I don't know why it shocked me so much - after all, the theme is that Everything Ends and if we really want to tie up all the loose ends, we do need to show how all of the main characters not only lived their lives but also died. Still, it took me so off-guard that I burst into tears - not so much because it was sad but because I was surprised. I had grown to care so much for these imaginary people and with just a few feet of film and some editing, they were all gone. It was right, I think, for me to be surprised. That's what death is, isn't it? The ultimate surprise. You don't really know when it's coming, even when it's expected. (Unless, of course, you have that amazing cat near you.) You don't know how it will come or when or where or anything about it - we don't even know for certain what really happens after it! The ultimate mystery.
Nate: You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone.
Somehow, it's comforting to me to finally encounter a show that talks about that so openly, that takes this taboo subject and humanizes us. It gives us a face to put with the name in the characters of the Fishers and their extended family. Somehow, it opens up a whole new world. I think it's fitting that the show would end the way it began - with death, with an ending. Not every show begins every week with an ending and then spends the rest of the show taking us on a journey. Is it strange that I can't think of a way to end an entry about endings?
Tracy: Why do people have to die?
Nate: To make life important. None of us know how long we've got. Which is why we have to make each day matter.
Claire: I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.
When I first started to watch Six Feet Under, I liked the opening sequences of us seeing who dies. It was a good way to start things, since that's what the show is about. After awhile, it became normal. But then...then I started to become afraid of all of those deaths. There are so many ways to die, ways that I hadn't even thought of. It seemed like the message of the show was that no matter what, you could never be safe. But then it started to get through to me...the message is something I've always known and been okay with. Eventually, we all die. Some day, I'll die. It's not happy, it's not sad - it's just the price we pay for being given life in the first place.
Nate: I'm just saying you only get one life. There's no God, no rules, no judgments except for those you accept or create for yourself. Now once it's over, it's over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here? Really, why not?
In a way, this show came to me at the right time. I started watching it just a little over a month after Rachel died. The first episode was awful, quite frankly - not because it was a bad episode but because the first death is a bus smashing into a car. The way it's filmed, you can see the bus bearing down on the car through the driver-side window and the driver has no idea and it's just awful. I nearly gouged my eyes out, actually - I was holding my knitting, of course, and went to cover my eyes because it was so awful, and the knitting needles just barely grazed my cheekbones, thanmk goodness. But I had to stop it at that point and calm down and remember - this was not Rachel. This was not her death. And maybe it's similar, and maybe it was just as awful - worse, I'm sure - than what I was seeing. So I kept watching, and I began to care for the characters. At first, I didn't like all of them - but big brother Allan told me to keep with it, and I'm really glad he did. (Even though I've called to yell at him several times for getting me addicted to the show.) The way it explores death and life and all of the things in between that come up - it's beautiful. It provided me with so much perspective and information about what we feel in the presence of the danger and the unknown. This show was like...therapy for me, in a way. It's an odd thing to say, and I don't think I've ever said or ever will say that about a TV program again. These awful things would happen on the show and people would fall apart...but then they would knit themselves back together and it would remind me - someday, things will get easier. There are so many things on the show that I want to share with Sarah, so many things that make me think, "Wow, that would really be helpful!" But I don't always feel comfortable telling her about the show...heck, I was hesitant to even tell here that I was watching the show, like maybe she would hate me or think I was awful for doing that. And I don't know that I could ever show her that first episode...that she would ever be able to handle it, with it being so similar. But still, there are moments where I want to just pull out a scene and hand it to her and say, "Here, this sounds similar to what you've been saying. Try it on." Like maybe this will help her, even though nothing really can. That makes her sound worse than she is though...Sarah's coping skills overwhelm me. I could never hold up as well as she has.
Brenda: You know what I find interesting? If you lose a spouse, you're called a widow, or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too fucking awful to even have a name.
This final episode...I had been planning on saving it. But I kept thinking about how nice it would be to have closure - because I knew the last episode would tie up all the loose ends. And it was beautiful in that way, and comforting. But just when I expected it to end, it kept going. *SPOILER HERE - SKIP THIS, ALLAN* It showed this montage stretching years into the future of all the wonderful things the characters do in their lives. That made me so happy - I'm not always much for happy endings like that, squishy cheery stuff - but this time, I liked it. So it was a shock when the montage continued and showed the way all of the main characters die. I don't know why it shocked me so much - after all, the theme is that Everything Ends and if we really want to tie up all the loose ends, we do need to show how all of the main characters not only lived their lives but also died. Still, it took me so off-guard that I burst into tears - not so much because it was sad but because I was surprised. I had grown to care so much for these imaginary people and with just a few feet of film and some editing, they were all gone. It was right, I think, for me to be surprised. That's what death is, isn't it? The ultimate surprise. You don't really know when it's coming, even when it's expected. (Unless, of course, you have that amazing cat near you.) You don't know how it will come or when or where or anything about it - we don't even know for certain what really happens after it! The ultimate mystery.
Nate: You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone.
Somehow, it's comforting to me to finally encounter a show that talks about that so openly, that takes this taboo subject and humanizes us. It gives us a face to put with the name in the characters of the Fishers and their extended family. Somehow, it opens up a whole new world. I think it's fitting that the show would end the way it began - with death, with an ending. Not every show begins every week with an ending and then spends the rest of the show taking us on a journey. Is it strange that I can't think of a way to end an entry about endings?
Tracy: Why do people have to die?
Nate: To make life important. None of us know how long we've got. Which is why we have to make each day matter.