All worked up...
I wish I could write this in columns, to accurately depict (what I see as) both sides of the argument/problem.
So. I love Bob. Really. I am HAPPY. I've never felt like this....this glowy, radiant, stupid happy. Yes, things aren't perfect, but don't "they" say that perfection is boring? Agreed.
However... my family doesn't like him and/or they think we're moving too fast. Which, yes, considering I WILL be moving in with him if I get a job near him, could be seen as fast. We've been living together pretty much since day 1. And it WORKS. Not to say that there won't be problems, but everyone has problems, it makes fiscal sense, I wouldn't be getting rid of any of my stuff and I WANT TO. So? So what if it's been two months. Yes, traditionally that is fast, but on whose schedule are we measuring MY relationship? My parent's? Oh yes, because they had the healthiest start to things. Any of my grammas' first marriages? Or seconds, for that matter? If I'm happy and he's not A) involved in any illegal activity B) cheating on me C) using me D) harming me in ANY way....then shouldn't my happiness count for anything? Yes be worried, I can't stop them from worrying and trying to protect me, but I'm afraid I'm going to be put in a place to choose. And that is not right, or fair.
But who's to say what is a "good" reason for not liking someone? My brother says they just don't like his personality. Well, fuck, cuz I can TOTALLY do something about that. And they've only met him twice, and the first time wasn't my choice. I wanted to wait! But they said we needed to come by. And apparently Mom told Taylor we were all "lovey-dovey", which well fuck, I'd just fallen head over heels for him, and I'm a lovey dovey person, to an extent, and I've never had a boyfriend who would even sit next to me on the couch in front of my family. So, yeah, I was a little lovey dovey but he just held my hand, so it's not like we were sucking face and calling each-other pumpkin and sugar.
Keep in mind, I'm getting most of this from my brother.
However, my mom has been lying to me through her teeth, inviting us down for a BBQ, saying she's glad we came, they had a great time, etc, etc. She can't stand him, can't stand us but she doesn't want to fight so she's playing nice. Which is worse?
I don't want to have to choose, but what do I do? Keep bringing him around, hoping they'll all get to know each-other and at least be able to tolerate each-other if not like each-other?? Knowing that it makes them all uncomfortable?
And, keep in mind, the last time they got together, my parent's drunkie vagabond friend and his meth-addict brother and girlfriend came over uninvited (the problem with your house backing up to a road is people can see when you're home/bbqing) . The friend kissed me ON THE MOUTH twice, and the whole event was SUPER awkward, not to mention that as a corrections officer, he's not really supposed to be around that kind of stuff. Technically he is supposed to leave, and write a memo.
Then through a sick game of telephone, my mom's co-worker's husband says he's taking it to the extreme, which totally helps, considering they don't even work in the same system (federal vs state).
I thought everything was going ok, even though I haven't officially told them we'll be living together or that we already live together 6/7 night of the week.
Anyway, I found out this most recent round o crap on the way to see my possibly/probably dying Grampa at Cottage Hospital, so of course I can't confront her and talk about it. I don't want to blow things up right before graduation, and with my grampa like this, but what to do....
Fuck. The natural thing is to take the easy route. His family LOVES me. Loves US. They told him I'm the best thing to happen to him. I love them too, they're great people. And yes, flawed, before you think I've got the super thick rose colored glasses on. But the easy thing is to just spend all our time with them. And I don't want to lose my family, or be estranged/alienated, or be forced to choose.
le sigh.
So. I love Bob. Really. I am HAPPY. I've never felt like this....this glowy, radiant, stupid happy. Yes, things aren't perfect, but don't "they" say that perfection is boring? Agreed.
However... my family doesn't like him and/or they think we're moving too fast. Which, yes, considering I WILL be moving in with him if I get a job near him, could be seen as fast. We've been living together pretty much since day 1. And it WORKS. Not to say that there won't be problems, but everyone has problems, it makes fiscal sense, I wouldn't be getting rid of any of my stuff and I WANT TO. So? So what if it's been two months. Yes, traditionally that is fast, but on whose schedule are we measuring MY relationship? My parent's? Oh yes, because they had the healthiest start to things. Any of my grammas' first marriages? Or seconds, for that matter? If I'm happy and he's not A) involved in any illegal activity B) cheating on me C) using me D) harming me in ANY way....then shouldn't my happiness count for anything? Yes be worried, I can't stop them from worrying and trying to protect me, but I'm afraid I'm going to be put in a place to choose. And that is not right, or fair.
But who's to say what is a "good" reason for not liking someone? My brother says they just don't like his personality. Well, fuck, cuz I can TOTALLY do something about that. And they've only met him twice, and the first time wasn't my choice. I wanted to wait! But they said we needed to come by. And apparently Mom told Taylor we were all "lovey-dovey", which well fuck, I'd just fallen head over heels for him, and I'm a lovey dovey person, to an extent, and I've never had a boyfriend who would even sit next to me on the couch in front of my family. So, yeah, I was a little lovey dovey but he just held my hand, so it's not like we were sucking face and calling each-other pumpkin and sugar.
Keep in mind, I'm getting most of this from my brother.
However, my mom has been lying to me through her teeth, inviting us down for a BBQ, saying she's glad we came, they had a great time, etc, etc. She can't stand him, can't stand us but she doesn't want to fight so she's playing nice. Which is worse?
I don't want to have to choose, but what do I do? Keep bringing him around, hoping they'll all get to know each-other and at least be able to tolerate each-other if not like each-other?? Knowing that it makes them all uncomfortable?
And, keep in mind, the last time they got together, my parent's drunkie vagabond friend and his meth-addict brother and girlfriend came over uninvited (the problem with your house backing up to a road is people can see when you're home/bbqing) . The friend kissed me ON THE MOUTH twice, and the whole event was SUPER awkward, not to mention that as a corrections officer, he's not really supposed to be around that kind of stuff. Technically he is supposed to leave, and write a memo.
Then through a sick game of telephone, my mom's co-worker's husband says he's taking it to the extreme, which totally helps, considering they don't even work in the same system (federal vs state).
I thought everything was going ok, even though I haven't officially told them we'll be living together or that we already live together 6/7 night of the week.
Anyway, I found out this most recent round o crap on the way to see my possibly/probably dying Grampa at Cottage Hospital, so of course I can't confront her and talk about it. I don't want to blow things up right before graduation, and with my grampa like this, but what to do....
Fuck. The natural thing is to take the easy route. His family LOVES me. Loves US. They told him I'm the best thing to happen to him. I love them too, they're great people. And yes, flawed, before you think I've got the super thick rose colored glasses on. But the easy thing is to just spend all our time with them. And I don't want to lose my family, or be estranged/alienated, or be forced to choose.
le sigh.