Angry Uterus is angry
Fuck this uterus shit. Seriously, as soon as they invent a way to grow babies in tubes, I am signing up.
On Friday night, with the boyfriend, in bed, doing in-bed type things. All of a sudden, my uterus went FUCK, YOU BITCH! There is no other way to describe it. A this was a sudden, stabbing-you-in-the-fucking-gut, overwhelming level of pain. I was also bleeding quite heavily (actual blood, not period blood). It was so bad that I actually passed out. Fortunately, I regained conciousness quickly, thus saving poor Joe the world's most awkward phone call*. Unfortunately, that meant I was awake for the rest of the shitty experience.
Friday night at midnight, is of course, the very best time to get sick, because all the best doctors are on duty at the hospital, and it is not like they are busy and understaffed or anything. I fucking hate hospitals. I had to get an IV, which I loathe, and I twitched like a fish on land the whole time. I sat in freezing the exam room for four god-damn hours**. I had to have a pelvic exam, because what you really, really want when in severe pain is to have a damn speculum shoved in there too. All to find out that I had a benign*** ovarian cyst which ruptured. So basically, my reproductive system decided to cause me massive amounts of discomfort just because it could.
It did help that when the nurse asked me to rate my pain, I could picture the better pain scale.
The "BCBS is out to kill me" tag may be premature, because I am so newly insured that I don't even have my ID card yet. It could be that BCBS of Washington DC will be friendly and helpful when I call them tomorrow about getting a temporary ID card. *Falls over laughing*
*"Hi, this is Sylvia's boyfriend. We're in the hospital. I don't know what happened...umm...well...we were having sex and all of a sudden she started cursing and then she fainted..."
**I know that they were probably dealing with people who needed help more. It did not make me feel better at the time.
***In the sense that it's not cancer, not by any other reasonable definition of the word benign.
Short version: I had to go to the ER; I'm fine now. My roommate even brought me home a cinnabun.
On Friday night, with the boyfriend, in bed, doing in-bed type things. All of a sudden, my uterus went FUCK, YOU BITCH! There is no other way to describe it. A this was a sudden, stabbing-you-in-the-fucking-gut, overwhelming level of pain. I was also bleeding quite heavily (actual blood, not period blood). It was so bad that I actually passed out. Fortunately, I regained conciousness quickly, thus saving poor Joe the world's most awkward phone call*. Unfortunately, that meant I was awake for the rest of the shitty experience.
Friday night at midnight, is of course, the very best time to get sick, because all the best doctors are on duty at the hospital, and it is not like they are busy and understaffed or anything. I fucking hate hospitals. I had to get an IV, which I loathe, and I twitched like a fish on land the whole time. I sat in freezing the exam room for four god-damn hours**. I had to have a pelvic exam, because what you really, really want when in severe pain is to have a damn speculum shoved in there too. All to find out that I had a benign*** ovarian cyst which ruptured. So basically, my reproductive system decided to cause me massive amounts of discomfort just because it could.
It did help that when the nurse asked me to rate my pain, I could picture the better pain scale.
The "BCBS is out to kill me" tag may be premature, because I am so newly insured that I don't even have my ID card yet. It could be that BCBS of Washington DC will be friendly and helpful when I call them tomorrow about getting a temporary ID card. *Falls over laughing*
*"Hi, this is Sylvia's boyfriend. We're in the hospital. I don't know what happened...umm...well...we were having sex and all of a sudden she started cursing and then she fainted..."
**I know that they were probably dealing with people who needed help more. It did not make me feel better at the time.
***In the sense that it's not cancer, not by any other reasonable definition of the word benign.
Short version: I had to go to the ER; I'm fine now. My roommate even brought me home a cinnabun.