Resolution
I had a very long talk with Jen tonight. I will admit that I went into it thinking that there was no hope for the relationship. As we talked, however, I realized that there is a specific set of things which are problems, and these things can be address. Much of it comes down to having gotten into things too quickly. I was feeling overcommited and trapped which made everything seem worse.
I will no longer feel as though it is my job to fix her depression. If she is feeling really depressed, then it is alright for her to cancel plans. We will focus on the good stuff, working to make sure that when we get together it is to do something fun, not just get together because I happen to be around. We will not have veto over other people, but we will inform each other as soon as is reasonable.
The relationship will also not be so heavy. Previously, I had felt like I was in something which was committed to head for marriage, house, kids, etc. I am really not in a place for a serious relationship at this time, so we will be stepping this down somewhat.
All in all, the key thing is that I no longer feel trapped. I am okay with staying because I know I can leave. We had a really good relationship in January/February, and I think that we might be able to get back to something like that if this works out. We'll see how it goes, and reevaluate as we go.
Incidentally, my financial situation is not so bad as I had thought. The dental work is being a bit more spread out, which is freeing up a little money. I have also started the "Transforming Debt into Wealth" Program. It's actually a pretty simple concept, but having someone actually lay it out clearly for me was very helpful. Amusingly, the strategy it lays out is very similar to the proper strategy for fighting monsters in D&D. I'll explain it in greater detail later if anyone would like to copy it. It is mathematically pretty effective, and it actually turns each dollar of debt into about 11 dollars in about 20 years. This is much better than most people's plans which turn $1 of debt into $2 of debt in 20 years.
The income situation is also a bit better. Now that my father has agreed to pay me to work on the database again, I can make sure I make enough every week, regardless of who I am able to schedule. This provides a great deal of stability which makes the afore mention program possible.
I will no longer feel as though it is my job to fix her depression. If she is feeling really depressed, then it is alright for her to cancel plans. We will focus on the good stuff, working to make sure that when we get together it is to do something fun, not just get together because I happen to be around. We will not have veto over other people, but we will inform each other as soon as is reasonable.
The relationship will also not be so heavy. Previously, I had felt like I was in something which was committed to head for marriage, house, kids, etc. I am really not in a place for a serious relationship at this time, so we will be stepping this down somewhat.
All in all, the key thing is that I no longer feel trapped. I am okay with staying because I know I can leave. We had a really good relationship in January/February, and I think that we might be able to get back to something like that if this works out. We'll see how it goes, and reevaluate as we go.
Incidentally, my financial situation is not so bad as I had thought. The dental work is being a bit more spread out, which is freeing up a little money. I have also started the "Transforming Debt into Wealth" Program. It's actually a pretty simple concept, but having someone actually lay it out clearly for me was very helpful. Amusingly, the strategy it lays out is very similar to the proper strategy for fighting monsters in D&D. I'll explain it in greater detail later if anyone would like to copy it. It is mathematically pretty effective, and it actually turns each dollar of debt into about 11 dollars in about 20 years. This is much better than most people's plans which turn $1 of debt into $2 of debt in 20 years.
The income situation is also a bit better. Now that my father has agreed to pay me to work on the database again, I can make sure I make enough every week, regardless of who I am able to schedule. This provides a great deal of stability which makes the afore mention program possible.