Kwan Yin's Birthday
It seems I've become pretty Hellenized lately, so it was refreshing to focus a bit on one of my Patroness' festivals today, even if it wasn't as big a production as a group celebration would have been. Though I did manage to make tentative plans with a friend to go to a Zen Day of Meditation in April. Not Kwan-Yin-oriented per se, but the sort of thing that resonates with Her. I do sometimes feel a bit odd going to Buddhist practice groups, and I try to make it clear where I'm coming from so there's no sense of being there under false pretenses or anything. I seem to be more concerned about that than any host group I've encountered though.
One of the things I did was to finally make my "pantheon bracelet" that I bought the stones for weeks ago. It could probably still use some tweaking, as it doesn't quite have everyone covered, but it's a start. I got the idea, ironically enough, from the ritual necklace the Hieros wears at HTAZP, with symbols for Apollon, Zeus, and Pan. I've always had a thing for stones, so I decided they'd be my symbols: moonstone for Kwan Yin, hematite for Anubis, citrine for Apollo, malachite for Pan, azurite for ... I'm no longer sure what I was thinking when I decided I needed to incorporate azurite, but it's there and it feels right, and fluorite for spacers because that's a stone that resonates strongly for me in terms of organization and balance. The point being to make a visual representation of the key Deities I worship and keeping Them in balance. I'm not sure stringing them on silk quite the way I did was the bestest idea ever, but it'll do for now, even if I need to transfer them over to elastic or something later on.
Here's a pic:
Also, saracen77 (I think) had asked a while back about whether I'd put a picture of my altar up. This is just one part of it, as it's sort of split into areas of focus, but this is the Kwan Yin part:
Another thing I did for Kwan Yin's birthday was to dig up some info on the yoga flow called Moon Salutation. A quick Google search shows that there are several, nowhere near as standardized as Sun Salutation (part of the homework Apollo gave me back at the beginning of the month). Looking through several of them, I found the flow that was closest to what I remembered, and lo and behold, there's even a little instructional video out there for that one:
How to do Moon Salutations
After a couple of weeks of doing Sun Salutations in the morning, it's starting to move a bit more fluidly. I'd gotten sooo rusty. And seriously, I'm already seeing results physically, emotionally, and spiritually from getting back into this habit. So, it's time to add some evening balance to that with the Moon Salutations. Whether the Sun and Moon Salutations get reversed when my day/night schedule flip-flops ... I haven't figured out yet.
Sometimes, it seems like Kwan Yin is a relatively easy Goddess to work with. She's very gentle and subtle. Unlike Apollo, She hasn't done the thing of grabbing my attention and saying, "Excuse me, but if you're going to be asking for My help, I've got some things I want you doing too." No, She tends to let me figure it out for myself. This can, at times, be harder. I can be dense. But I also have to take responsibility for that. Because it's not like any of my Gods give me "homework" that is unreasonable or anything. In fact, it tends to fall under the category of "for my own good and glaringly obviously so." She'll give me reminders and such, but in ways I have to be really paying attention to catch.
Interestingly, and somewhat relatedly, last night was one of my busier third shifts. I got a couple of calls from people needing middle of the night support. People I would actually like to have reached through the phone and tried to shake some sense into. A timely reminder that the promises I've made to Her don't involve just being compassionate when it's easy. They involve finding the compassionate way to respond to someone who is stuck in patterns that are frustratingly obvious to an outside observer but are clearly not so evident to the person stuck in said patterns. Those promises also involve not confusing "compassionate" with "doormat," something else I got the opportunity to practice.
Earlier last week, I got into a conversation with a coworker about how I ended up Pagan in the first place, and what it means to be an eclectic. "So you have more than one religion?" I'm sure it looks that way at times. It *feels* that way at times, because there's no one group that works for me for group worship. The local UU church worked for awhile, but only for awhile. But it's more trying to pull disparate pieces together into a coherent whole that probably doesn't make sense to anyone else but me.
In the process of that conversation, one of her questions was, "But how did you know it was that particular Goddess that was calling you?" My initial answer was, "I'm not sure how to answer that without sounding like you should be calling the Mobile Team for an assessment." Because conversion experiences always sound insane. No, seriously. Doesn't matter the religion. Anyone who has changed religions almost invariably has had their own version of being knocked off a horse on the road to Damascus and struck blind. And it always sounds utterly bonkers to anyone else.
Sometimes, it probably is actual mental illness. I can't begin to count the number of times I've had to help people reality check what "Jesus" or "angels" or "spirits" have told them. It's part of my job to help people reality-test their voices and try to come to terms with them in a way that doesn't invalidate their experience. That turns out to be a good thing, because it's a skill I use on myself, too. Is the message consistent with Who I think it's coming from? Is it reasonable? Is it ethical?
In my periodic bouts with agnosticism, I wonder if it even matters whether my Gods are real or not. Because I do test everything I believe They let me know They want from me with those questions. And only if the answer to all three is yes do I go forward. So, does it matter if They're real or just constructs of my own unconscious mind? My answer to that changes pretty often, depending on whether I'm in a more theistic or agnostic frame of mind.
Someone, I think it was bloodcult, had mentioned in a post awhile back about hearing someone say the only thing that stopped them from running amok and killing people was that God said it was wrong. She found this horrifying. I do too. Even when I was Catholic, I remember discussions in religion class about whether things are right/wrong because God says so or whether God says so because they're inherently right/wrong. I've always leaned towards the latter interpretation, which is still evident in my attitude that the things my Gods want from me aren't good because They say so, but rather They ask these things of me because I and those around me tend to be better off if I'm doing them. And if that were not true, I either wouldn't credit the message or my answer would be, "Um, no. Not unless I see some compelling evidence that this is actually a good idea."
Okay, that ended up wandering a bit further afield than I'd planned. What else is new, right? Bottom line, it's been a good day that also included a trip to Borders to spend a gift card on fun books to read over spring break. It was also supposed to include a trip up to MA to visit with my family, but the "electric shock" nonsense, while substantially better, is still bothering me enough that I didn't feel up to a four hour round trip drive. Maybe later during the week.
One of the things I did was to finally make my "pantheon bracelet" that I bought the stones for weeks ago. It could probably still use some tweaking, as it doesn't quite have everyone covered, but it's a start. I got the idea, ironically enough, from the ritual necklace the Hieros wears at HTAZP, with symbols for Apollon, Zeus, and Pan. I've always had a thing for stones, so I decided they'd be my symbols: moonstone for Kwan Yin, hematite for Anubis, citrine for Apollo, malachite for Pan, azurite for ... I'm no longer sure what I was thinking when I decided I needed to incorporate azurite, but it's there and it feels right, and fluorite for spacers because that's a stone that resonates strongly for me in terms of organization and balance. The point being to make a visual representation of the key Deities I worship and keeping Them in balance. I'm not sure stringing them on silk quite the way I did was the bestest idea ever, but it'll do for now, even if I need to transfer them over to elastic or something later on.
Here's a pic:
Also, saracen77 (I think) had asked a while back about whether I'd put a picture of my altar up. This is just one part of it, as it's sort of split into areas of focus, but this is the Kwan Yin part:
Another thing I did for Kwan Yin's birthday was to dig up some info on the yoga flow called Moon Salutation. A quick Google search shows that there are several, nowhere near as standardized as Sun Salutation (part of the homework Apollo gave me back at the beginning of the month). Looking through several of them, I found the flow that was closest to what I remembered, and lo and behold, there's even a little instructional video out there for that one:
How to do Moon Salutations
After a couple of weeks of doing Sun Salutations in the morning, it's starting to move a bit more fluidly. I'd gotten sooo rusty. And seriously, I'm already seeing results physically, emotionally, and spiritually from getting back into this habit. So, it's time to add some evening balance to that with the Moon Salutations. Whether the Sun and Moon Salutations get reversed when my day/night schedule flip-flops ... I haven't figured out yet.
Sometimes, it seems like Kwan Yin is a relatively easy Goddess to work with. She's very gentle and subtle. Unlike Apollo, She hasn't done the thing of grabbing my attention and saying, "Excuse me, but if you're going to be asking for My help, I've got some things I want you doing too." No, She tends to let me figure it out for myself. This can, at times, be harder. I can be dense. But I also have to take responsibility for that. Because it's not like any of my Gods give me "homework" that is unreasonable or anything. In fact, it tends to fall under the category of "for my own good and glaringly obviously so." She'll give me reminders and such, but in ways I have to be really paying attention to catch.
Interestingly, and somewhat relatedly, last night was one of my busier third shifts. I got a couple of calls from people needing middle of the night support. People I would actually like to have reached through the phone and tried to shake some sense into. A timely reminder that the promises I've made to Her don't involve just being compassionate when it's easy. They involve finding the compassionate way to respond to someone who is stuck in patterns that are frustratingly obvious to an outside observer but are clearly not so evident to the person stuck in said patterns. Those promises also involve not confusing "compassionate" with "doormat," something else I got the opportunity to practice.
Earlier last week, I got into a conversation with a coworker about how I ended up Pagan in the first place, and what it means to be an eclectic. "So you have more than one religion?" I'm sure it looks that way at times. It *feels* that way at times, because there's no one group that works for me for group worship. The local UU church worked for awhile, but only for awhile. But it's more trying to pull disparate pieces together into a coherent whole that probably doesn't make sense to anyone else but me.
In the process of that conversation, one of her questions was, "But how did you know it was that particular Goddess that was calling you?" My initial answer was, "I'm not sure how to answer that without sounding like you should be calling the Mobile Team for an assessment." Because conversion experiences always sound insane. No, seriously. Doesn't matter the religion. Anyone who has changed religions almost invariably has had their own version of being knocked off a horse on the road to Damascus and struck blind. And it always sounds utterly bonkers to anyone else.
Sometimes, it probably is actual mental illness. I can't begin to count the number of times I've had to help people reality check what "Jesus" or "angels" or "spirits" have told them. It's part of my job to help people reality-test their voices and try to come to terms with them in a way that doesn't invalidate their experience. That turns out to be a good thing, because it's a skill I use on myself, too. Is the message consistent with Who I think it's coming from? Is it reasonable? Is it ethical?
In my periodic bouts with agnosticism, I wonder if it even matters whether my Gods are real or not. Because I do test everything I believe They let me know They want from me with those questions. And only if the answer to all three is yes do I go forward. So, does it matter if They're real or just constructs of my own unconscious mind? My answer to that changes pretty often, depending on whether I'm in a more theistic or agnostic frame of mind.
Someone, I think it was bloodcult, had mentioned in a post awhile back about hearing someone say the only thing that stopped them from running amok and killing people was that God said it was wrong. She found this horrifying. I do too. Even when I was Catholic, I remember discussions in religion class about whether things are right/wrong because God says so or whether God says so because they're inherently right/wrong. I've always leaned towards the latter interpretation, which is still evident in my attitude that the things my Gods want from me aren't good because They say so, but rather They ask these things of me because I and those around me tend to be better off if I'm doing them. And if that were not true, I either wouldn't credit the message or my answer would be, "Um, no. Not unless I see some compelling evidence that this is actually a good idea."
Okay, that ended up wandering a bit further afield than I'd planned. What else is new, right? Bottom line, it's been a good day that also included a trip to Borders to spend a gift card on fun books to read over spring break. It was also supposed to include a trip up to MA to visit with my family, but the "electric shock" nonsense, while substantially better, is still bothering me enough that I didn't feel up to a four hour round trip drive. Maybe later during the week.