Fic: The Love/Hate Game - Chapter Fourteen
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five
Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
The Night Chloe was Late
or
How the Game Destroyed Civilization
“I’m only here to protect Chloe,” Clark says as soon as he enters the room.
“That’s going to be hard,” Lex says. “She’s not here yet.”
“Chloe’s late?”
“I guess so. I was expecting her to come with you. Don’t you two usually come together?”
“Yeah” Clark smiles as he sits down. “We usually come at the same time. When she comes I come. I like coming with Chloe.”
“Yeah, Clark,” Lex says. “It was a lame joke the first time. It’s just as lame the third time.”
“Sorry.”
They sit in silence for a moment.
“When’s Chloe getting here?” Clark asks.
“I don’t know,” Lex says. “I thought she’d come with you.”
Clark giggles. “We usually come together.”
“Okay,” Lex is getting annoyed. “Even more lame the fourth time.”
“So, what do we do?”
What should they do? Lex has Clark alone. This is something he’s dreamed about for years. He can’t let the opportunity pass him by.
“We could start the game without her,” he offers.
“Chloe wouldn’t like that,” Clark says. “She loves the game. She’d get mad if we started without her. I mean, if you thought she was mad when you kidnapped her mother, it would be nothing compared to this.”
“It was fun when she got mad about her mom,” Lex says.
“Yeah.” Clark gets a wistful look on his face. “That was a good night. But I don’t think this will be a good mad. We could end up singing in a boys’ choir.”
“Hide the scissors,” Lex gasps. “Okay, we won’t start the game. But we have to do something. The longer we sit here the more the mood’s going to fade. Chloe wouldn’t be happy if she got here and we weren’t in the mood.”
“True,” Clark says. “She wouldn’t be happy.”
“So, we need to do something that will keep us in the mood.”
Clark eyes Lex suspiciously. “What do you suggest?”
“We could fluff each other,” Lex says.
“I don’t know,” Clark says. “That sounds kind of … you know.”
“You’ve had my dick in your mouth before,” Lex says. “How was that not ‘you know’ then?”
“Chloe was here,” Clark answers. “If there’s a girl in the room it’s kinky and sexually freeing. But no girl, then it’s… you know.”
Lex rolls his eyes. “Well, we wouldn’t want to be… you know.”
Clark’s hang ups were kind of interesting at one time. Now they’re just in the way.
“Listen,” Lex says, “we’d only be doing it to make Chloe happy. If you’re doing it for a girl then it’s all legal.”
“I guess,” Clark says.
“I’m not suggesting anything drastic, just a little make-out session. And I could jerk you off in your pants.”
“Okay.” Clark stands up and unbuckles his belt.
Then Chloe walks into the room.
“I’m late,” she says, a worried look on her face.
“Not late enough,” Lex mumbles.
“Yeah,” Clark says. “Come back in three minutes.”
Lex looks at Clark. “Three minutes?”
“An hour,” Clark quickly says. “Come back in an hour.”
“You don’t understand,” Chloe says as she sits down at the table. “I’m late.”
Lex can feel a shiver of dread start at the top of his head and work its way down to his toes. “How late?”
“Very late,” Chloe says.
“Then it won’t make much difference if you come back in an hour,” Clark says.
“Different kind of late, Clark,” Lex growls.
“Oh.” Clark sits down, finally understanding the gravity of the situation. “Well, it’s not mine. I can’t breed with humans.”
“You can’t breed… you’re not human?” Lex asks.
“God, Lex,” Chloe says. “You’ve known him how many years and you’re just figuring out now that he’s not human? Humans don’t look this good.”
“That’s true,” Clark says.
“Of course I knew he wasn’t human,” Lex laughs. “I knew all along.” Clark’s not human??!!
“So, if Clark’s not the father, then it has to be you.” Chloe points to Lex.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Lex says. “I already gave you a million dollars--”
“Why’d you give Chloe a million dollars?”
“--If this is a ploy to get at the rest of my billions, then you have another thing coming, missy. I’m sterile.”
“You’re sterile?” Clark asks.
“Why do you think I had to fake Lana’s pregnancy?” Lex says. “If my guys could swim I would have gotten her pregnant for real. It would have been a lot less trouble. Of course, then there would have been a baby and they’re all kinds of trouble. I really need to think through my evil plots more thoroughly.”
“Well, one of you is the father,” Chloe says.
“We can’t to be too sure about that,” Lex says. “You’re kind of a slut, Chloe. You’re the box populi. And I’m not saying that as an insult. I like sluts. It’s why I’m so fond of Clark.”
“Thanks,” Clark says.
“But you are dating Jimmy Olsen. Then there’s the night with the masked gunman,” Lex continues, “who, by the way, was a real gunman, not someone I hired. And let’s not forget the whole Hoodie Patrol.”
“One,” Chloe holds up a finger, “Jimmy has a problem, a Bob Dole sort of problem. Not even Viagra can fix it. Two,” she holds up another finger, “the guy you hired used a condom.”
“We use condoms too,” Clark says.
“Not the night of the hate fucks,” Chloe reminds them.
“Ah, the night of the hate fucks,” Lex says fondly. Then they all sigh in unison.
“We have to do that again,” Clark says.
“And three,” Chloe holds up a third finger, “the Hoodie Patrol, or rather the Justice League as they prefer to be called, never got past the pearly gates.”
“Pearly gates,” Lex snorts. “If you’re implying that something’s heaven, you’re more self-centered than Lana.”
“You’re the one who yells out God’s name when you’re there,” Chloe says.
“I don’t understand,” Clark says. “If I’m not the father, Lex isn’t the father, Jimmy isn’t the father, the guy Lex hired isn’t the father, and the Justice League aren’t the father, then who’s the father?”
“That’s what I’d like to know,” Chloe says.
“I do have that evil laboratory in the basement,” Lex says. “We could run some tests and find out tonight.”
“Let’s go,” Chloe says.
“Now hold on,” Lex says to her. “This could involve strapping you down naked to a table and having dozens of strange men poke you with scary and unnecessary instruments.”
“I’m actually okay with that,” she says.
So, four hours later, Chloe’s still strapped naked to the table and the head evil scientist is presenting the results to Lex and Clark.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he says. “It seems you’re both the father.”
“How is that possible?” Lex asks.
“As far as I can tell,” the scientist says, “your dead sperm merged with his alien semen and fertilized her freakish ovum. It’s really quite scary.”
“Wow, Lex,” Clark says as the scientist leaves to go stock his bomb shelter, “we’re going to have a baby.”
“It’ll be one hell of a kid.” Lex smiles. “What with your strength,” he looks at Clark, “your snark,” he looks at Chloe, “and my intelligence, nothing can stop it.”
“If it has your intelligence it’s doomed,” Chloe says.
“Hey! I’m an evil mastermind.”
“Please,” she says. “You couldn’t figure out how to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom.”
“Well, you’re a slut!”
“Stop it! Stop it!” Clark cries. “We can’t fight anymore. We’re going to be a family.”
“Guys,” Chloe says and she tries to lift her arms to take their hands, but since they’re still strapped to the table, she can’t. “I think we already are a family.”
And thirty-two months later, little Chlarex was born. How he used his strength, snark and mediocre intelligence to take over the world and enslave the human race…well, that’s a different story.
The End (for real)