Title: Eclipse 3/?
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Romance
Pairing/s: Jaejoong/Yoochun
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: Not ours, never were. So sad T_T
Summary: There were voices in Jaejoong's head, and he knew the voice will help him find his happiness.
Previous Chapters
Part 1 |
Part 2 Part 3:
I could use another cigarette.
I checked my jeans pockets, then the ones on my coat, but I guess I ran out. Sighing, I slumped to the relaxing chair on my balcony and laid back with my arms as the pillow. Seemed like it’s about to rain tonight, thank God, cause a clear sky just wouldn’t feel right.
I could hear that voice again in my head, humming a song. It sounded like thunder, though he barely spoken.
Closing my eyes, I felt the cold midnight breeze blowing around me. I was freezing, but I didn’t feel like going to bed just yet. I wanted to hear that voice while it lasts, very much afraid for it to disappear again. Never took much to keep me satisfied, but this hungry heart would not subside. I wanted more. I wanted to see him, to see the owner of this voice.
I wanted to see Kim Jaejoong.
I’m going insane.
Slowly, the humming in my head breaks into words, and a song started.
It's clear this conversation ain't' doing a thing
Cause these boys only listen to me when I sing
And I don't feel like singing tonight
All the same songs
Here in these deep city lights
Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
Nothing here to hold on to
Could I hold you?
The voice was beautiful, and he sings a lot, but not that I mind. I contemplated reaching for my iPod to drown out his voice, but then his voice was so beautiful I wanted more. I wanted him to sing to me every day.
But then, his voice sometimes held so much sorrow, I could feel my heart ache as well.
I decided to get up and advanced towards my long forgotten piano. Setting the little dusty cover aside, I tested my fingers on the bars. Playing some random chords, my notes melted slowly into the song in my head, and I closed my eyes. The voice blended with my piano, and I whispered the lyrics along.
Calling out somebody save me, I feel like I'm fading away
Am I gone?
Calling out somebody save me, I feel like I'm fading
Deep city lights
Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
There’s nothing here to hold on to
Could I hold on to you?
Hold on to me, I whispered into nothingness, hold on to me, lean on me.
Can I, really? The voice asked.
I exhaled, Yes, hold me. Come to me.
I waited, but there was no answer.
I decided to go to bed before I lose my sanity.
***
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Opening my mouth, the words flowed smoothly from between my lips, rolling on my tongue before spilling into the air. The spot light shone too bright, blinding me from seeing the faces of my audiences, but it’s not like they matter, none of them matters. My head was dizzy and the world spun, but I drowned myself in the song until I couldn’t breath.
It made me feel alive.
The drums tapped lightly, keeping a steady beat, accompanying the soft melody of the piano. The second verse then the electric guitar interrupted, blending smoothly with the cello. The back up singers shadowed my words, but I took no notice. I was in my own world, and I was fading away. I have melted with the river, floating with the blowing breeze. I was in the seventh heaven, and everything was beautiful.
Until I heard a random piano chords on my head, ruining the perfect flow of the music.
The show must go on, so I kept singing while glancing at Kyuhyun. Did he just ruin my show? But seeing him and the other players, it seemed like Kyuhyun didn’t make any mistake. Then there were piano sound again, before I realized it was on my head. What the...
I closed my eyes again, concentrating on the song before the piano blended to it, accompanying my voice. It was...smooth...perfect, like it fits into every gap of my voice.
I'm finding every reason to be gone
There’s nothing here to hold on to
Could I hold on to you?
The music faded, including the piano in my head, then the audience erupted into applause. I smiled to them and bowed before stepping off the stage.
Hold on to me, I heard a whisper, hold on to me, lean on me.
Can I, really? I found myself asking, so idiotic.
Yes, hold me. Come to me.
“Jaejoong!” before I could answer, someone called my name. Turning, I saw Yunho and another man sitting on the bar with Heechul mixing their drinks. Smiling, I walked towards them. “This is Shim Changmin, my cousin,” he introduced me to the other man.
I didn’t recognize him, but the man Yunho called as Changmin lit up, “You’re that nurse!”
“Yeah, I work at the same hospital as Yunho,” I replied, unaware. I felt like I’ve seen him somewhere, but I couldn’t recall where.
“I mean, you’re the one I saw with Yoochun,” Changmin smiled.
Park Yoochun, hearing his name made my heart skipped a beat. “Oh, you’re his partner! I remember now.”
“You two have met?” Yunho raised an eyebrow, turning to me. “You know Yoochun too?”
“Recently,” I answered, swallowing the slump on my throat. I clenched my fingers to keep it from shaking, my body suddenly shivered from need at the memory of that guy. That voice. Him. I want him. I need him.
“Good, we should take Yoochun to watch you perform then,” Yunho suggested with a smile, and somehow Changmin nodded to it so excitedly. I had a feeling he knows Yoochun well, or I was being obvious.
“That would be good,” I tried to sound casual, but I probably failed badly. With a last smile, I turned around and slipped into the staff room, slumping my exhausted body to the sofa. Closing my eyes, I replayed that voice that had become way too familiar in my head.
Could I hold you, tonight?
***
I was practically skipping my way to the hospital that Changmin had to smack me and tell me to stop acting like and idiot. I didn’t care, I’ve been dreading to meet Yoobin the whole week.
And a certain someone other than my little girl.
Changmin smacked me once again, “Stop it! You look like a teenage girl going to a first date!”
“What?” I pouted, “I can’t be happy to see Yoobin?”
“I know it’s someone else in your mind,” Changmin wiggled his eyebrow, earning a smack from me in return. He laughed, “I met him at the bar, you know, when I was with Yunho.”
“Why do you always go out with Yunho without inviting me?” I pouted again, disappointed I didn’t get to see Jaejoong.
“You always turn us down, idiot,” he rolled his eyes. “Let’s go there again then, you should listen to him sing. It’s amazing.”
I couldn’t tell Changmin I have...in my head. He’d totally drag me into a psychiatrist.
We went straight to the pedia ward, where everyone except Yoobin ran past me to jump on Changmin. I smiled at the only girl walking my way and picked her up. “Hello, Yoobin-ah.”
“Ajusshi!” Yoobin circled his little arms around my neck. “I miss you~”
“I miss you too, chunsa,” I patted her head. “What do you want to do today?”
“I have a new barbie!” she squealed in delight and pointed on her table, where there were several barbie dolls laid with various clothes and accessories.
“Why don’t you introduce her to me?” I carried her to the direction of the table, letting Changmin take care of the rest of the kids while I play with Yoobin. I have been wondering why Yoobin seemed to prefer playing alone. She doesn’t run around as much as the other kids and she didn’t seem to blend in too much. I could only hope it has nothing to do with her condition, but it might be the reason she chooses to be alone.
I patted her hair lovingly as she changed the pink dress of one barbie to a purple one.
“Heal fast, Yoobin-ah,” I whispered, too low for anyone to hear.
***
“Room 305, patient Kaoru, male, 3 years old. He’s half of the whole.” I said and saw Junsu smile in understanding.
“Wait, they are Japanese?”
“I don’t know, maybe half, I think. They speak Korean fluently.” Junsu nodded twice and motioned to me to continue the endorsement.
“Fever with mild DHN*, currently on D5IMB* 500cc to run for 38cc/hr, under Dr. Choi.” I was busy endorsing the patients information to Junsu when a knock suddenly interrupted us, we looked up and saw a woman, whom I assumed was one of the patients’ visitor. She had asked for Kaoru’s room number with a worried expression but still let out a smile as she thanked us. I didn’t notice the light of recognition crept across Junsu’s eyes and how he tilted his head, following her as she hurried to the room.
“Come on,” I stood up with the patients’ kardex in my hand, “Time for rounds.”
During rounds, we pay a brief visit to every patient’s room, checking up on them and introducing the new in-charge nurse for that shift. Usually, Junsu and I were assigned for the afternoon shift but I need to run some errand for Heaven Scent this afternoon so I requested to be placed for a earlier shift for today. We were just about to go to the last room when we met the woman from before, she was busy with her phone but when she saw us she regard us with a slight bow.
I think I’ve heard Junsu muttering something but I didn’t get the chance to ask him when a suddenly the door opened, revealing a cute boy dressed in a black jacket and jeans, his hair a bit curly and long, his bangs almost touching his brow. His face immediately brightened up when he recognized that I was the nurse from before, “Oh Nurse hyung!”
“Whoa, kyeopta!” Junsu uttered aloud, affected much by Kira’s sunbright smile.
I smiled, bent down at his level and ruffled his hair. “Hey Kira~” My smile widened when I noticed the white head phone, with black star printed at its side dangling on his neck.
“What are you listening to?” I asked as I took his hand and guided him inside. He looked over at his back and stared at Junsu, his eyes wide in wonder probably asking himself who the man might be.
He returned his gaze on me, “Oh this?” he pointed at his head phone, and then shrugged with a smile. “Nothing, this is just for display.” He giggled and bounced toward the bedside drawer, he took out a black version of the head phone.
“This one is for Kaoru,” Kira said as he showed it to us. “I picked it out for him, he actually likes blue but the Ajumma said there were only black and white of these. . .” his lips jutted out in a cute way, “I like green though but its alright, white looks better on me.”
“We’re like YinYang.” Kaoru butted in.
“Exactly!” Kira exclaimed, then put his hand over his mouth as he laughed.
“Aww~” I heard Junsu uttered at my side, “You two are so cute!” he added, smiling at them.
Kaoru was sitting up on his bed, wearing his blue pajamas with dog foot prints on it. He look so cute with his hair tied up on top of his head, a pigtail they call it. His wavy hair looks shorter than Kira, but has the same style.
Kira and Kaoru were identical twins. It was hard to tell who was who between them, especially with those same big eyes, those curled eyelashes, their high cheekbones, their pink lips and to think they even shared the same smile. Kira had told me, that Kaoru was born 8 minutes after him and that Kaoru likes to call him niichan even though they’re at the same age.
Someone chuckled, “Now, now Kirachan come here and let them check our Kaoru first.”
We both turned to look at our right and there we saw the same woman from before and another woman which I remembered as the twins aunt.
“Good afternoon,” A bow and a smile was exchanged between us, “I’m Nurse Jaejoong and this is Nurse Junsu, the nurse in-charge for this afternoon duty.”
“Nurse Junsu, it’s my pleasure to meet you.”
“Hello. I’m Reiko, Kira and Kaoru’s mom and here with me is my sister Sora. Thank you for taking care of my child.”
If I see it correctly, there was a tinged of pink covering Junsu’s cheeks as he extended his hand out for them, her, which she gladly took in a warm handshake.
After checking and a small talk, I bid goodbye to the twins, telling them I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. Kira went up to me and pulled me down for a hug.
As soon as I closed the door behind me, I turned to Junsu with a questioning look.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” Junsu brushed past me and headed to the nurse’s station.
“Hey!” I caught up with him and slung my arm on his shoulder. “What’s with you?”
He looked at me, “Remember the girl I told you. . .”
“The one who works at the supermarket you’re crushing over?”
“Exactly, yeah that one.”
“Ohhh. . . So you’re saying that it’s her, Ms. Reiko?”
“I didn’t know she’s already married.” Junsu sighed, his shoulder sagged in disappointment. “She’s not wearing any ring, you know, so I thought. . .”
I laughed and received a hard jab at my side. “You poor thing. . .”
“Whatever!” Junsu’s face suddenly darkened.
“Hey, listen I didn’t mean. . .”
But he cut me off, “You know, I saw that guy in the pedia ward with the tall guy from last time, what are their names again? Ah Park Yoochun and Shim Changmin, right.”
I could feel my face heating up at the mention of his name but tried to act normal and casually asked, “Why are they here? Another CSR?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you ask them?”
“Heeeeyyyyy~ I’m sorry, okay?”
“Yeah. . .”
“Fine. If it will make you feel better then I’ll tell you what I have heard. She’s a single mom, already divorced to her Japanese ex-husband for two years now.”
I saw Junsu’s lips quirked in a slightest way upward, but tried to act like he don’t care at all. “Well I think I’ve heard that, this Yoochun guy is looking for a certain Kim Jaejoong. I don’t know why though.”
This time I hit Junsu hard on his arm.
***
It was a little too late to go back to the office, so I decided to stay with Yoobin after Changmin left. I read her books and played the keyboard a little for the kids. I loved it when she smiles, making me wish I have my own daughter, but then I’m not exactly into females. Quietly slipping out of the door when I was sure Yoobin is in deep peaceful sleep from exhaustion, I went to the elevator and pressed the basement button, where I parked my car. When the I stepped out of the elevator, a familiar figure caught my eyes.
“Jaejoong-sshi,” I unconsciously called out to him.
He turned around, and although his eyes widened in surprise, he smiled and walked towards me. I bowed my greeting, and he reciprocated.
“It’s a surprise to see you,” Jaejoong smiled, “Did you meet Yoobin?”
“Yeah, I stayed with her the whole day,” I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. “Ah, are you heading home?”
“Yeah, I’m just about to run some errands for Heaven Scent.” Seeing my confusion, Jaejoong continued, “It’s the orphanage I grew up in.”
“Oh. Oh...” my respond was lost in my throat, am I supposed to say sorry? That might only make it more awkward, though, so instead I changed the topic. “So where are you going? Do you have a ride?”
He looked away, “I’m going to take the bus--”
“Want me to drive you?” I cut in, hopeful. Then I wanted to kick myself because I sounded like an overexcited teen. “I-If you don’t mind...” I added with a blush, making things worse.
There was a tinge of pink on his cheeks too, visible under the dim lighting of the basement parking lot. “Is that okay?”
“Of course!” I smiled and motioned him to walk ahead, directing him towards my car. Opening the door for him, he slipped into the passenger seat. I couldn’t hide the smile on my face as I climbed into the driver seat and exited the hospital complex.
The drive was a little quiet, with only the radio filling the space with songs and Jaejoong’s occasional order to take a certain road. We stopped at the grocery store, where I helped him picked some ingredients, as he said he would cook dinner for the other children. I smiled at him, it was pretty cute and I would have to say I can’t wait to see Jaejoong in the kitchen. He smiled back, and we carried the bags of ingredients back to the car after arguing a little as I insisted to pay for them. I told him not to worry, that I did it with a good intent and not only to win his heart. I blushed after realizing what I said, but the smile on his face was worth the embarrassment.
Heaven Scent is located at the edge of the city, on the hill side. The drive took quite a while, but Jaejoong then started talking and I have to say, hearing his voice directly was so much better than just hearing it inside my head. He talked about the kids and Sister Katherine that is currently sick. He talked about how living in an orphanage wasn’t as bad as people imagined, but he still left because he had a bigger dream. He started talking about his dreams and passion of helping others, especially kids, and he loved his shifts on the pedia ward.
I felt like kissing him.
I didn’t though, but he was so...amazing. As a person he looked forward continuously, I haven’t once heard him complain about his exhausting life, or about not knowing who his parents are. All those positive things...
...he was so different from me. I guess opposite attracts.
And they say love is about completing each other.
Love? Did I-- nevermind.
I finally pulled up in front of an old church, a building that had stood since colonial era. Behind it was a big house, probably enough for fifteen children or so, also a classic European style where there are swings, sandbox, and other toys on the yard. Jaejoong exited the car and I helped him carry the groceries we bought earlier into the house.
Jaejoong had introduced me as his friend and not as someone-I-met-in-the-hospital-during-CSR, to the Sisters and workers of the orphanage. Their warm welcome set me at ease and I’m sure I’ll get along so well with them just like those in the hospital.
I felt a bit disappointed when one of the workers had insisted to cook the dinner instead of Jaejoong. I really want to watch him move around the kitchen, with his apron on as he chopped the vegetables and meat for the soup. I can imagine him stirring the contents of the pot but then frown because he couldn’t get the taste right, but after a few pinch of this and that, a smile of satisfaction would surface his face.
Ah. . .too bad I didn’t get the chance to see him cook today. Maybe next time? Should I invite him in my pad one of these days. . . I mentally shook my head. Ah, my thoughts had gone too far.
“Why don’t you bring your friend for a little walk outside while we prepare our dinner?” Sister Monica, if I remember her name correctly, said with a smile. Jaejoong agreed only because I said I didn’t mind. Well. . . I wouldn’t pass this chance to get to know more about him.
This Kim Jaejoong. . .
***
As soon as we walked outside of the spacious back yard, joyous laughter had immediately welcomed us. Those small voices happened to be my little siblings Sophie, Minjee, Miyoung, Ryu, Cholo and Archie. “We miss you Oppa! We miss you hyung!” Ah~! I didn’t know I missed them this much. It had been months since I last visited Heaven Scent. It had been too long.
I introduced Yoochun to them, told them he’s a friend who helps other kids in the hospital I work at, and then the conversation go on after that. The whole time as this occurred, I couldn’t help but be amused at Yoochun, he is indeed good at handling kids. I watched them talk, the smiles on the kids faces grow brighter and brighter as they laughed with his jokes, on how he tells a story animatedly. But a familiar whistle rang in the air, ending their fun time temporarily. They waved happily at us as they went inside the house, it’s time for their 6 o’clock prayer with Sister Monica.
I smiled as I turned my attention back to him, “They like you already.”
“So I’ve noticed.” He chuckled, scratching his neck.
I didn’t know what else to say so I motioned him to follow me instead. Since it’s getting dark already, the path we were heading on started to light up, yellow bulbs that were hanging on the trees lighting up our way toward the place I wanted to show him.
It’s nothing special, really, but this place is really soothing. There were tall trees around us beside the path, the stars and a the full moon visible above us. I led Yoochun into a small gazebo at the far end of the field and lit the lamp. He leaned to the railings and watched the moon. I stood beside him.
“This place is beautiful,” he whispered, as if talking too loud would scare the stars away.
I chuckled, “It is. I miss it most of the time.”
“I’m sure,” he turned to me with a smile, I realized he has dimples.
Our eyes caught, and I couldn’t help but to be drowned in those brown orbs.
Then I leaned in...
*DHN - Dehydration, D5IMB - Balanced Multiple Maintenance Solution with 5% Dextrose
Part 4 Coming Soon :D