In the shower...
Well, I have been doing some soul searching in the shower...again.
You know, I have never done this before, writing out what I am thinking. I guess I am just afraid of loosing it. Too bad some of it is already gone. That's the only problem with thinking in the shower - it is wet. There is nothing to write on. I think we should fix that sometime.
Anyway, I must start off by saying that, Jennifer, I finished The Broken Bridge. It was amazing. I'm not even sure why, seeing as how I really don't have that much in common with Ginny. Even still, there is that connection. She is so passionate. Of course, thinking about it, I am rememebering what I thought in the shower...the thing that touched me was the whole process of figureing herself out. It takes a lot of confidence to admit that you are self-centered and a little snobbish, I think. Right now, I don't think I could handle that sort of thing. In fact, I know that I cannot. Not to discourage you guys from telling me what you think about me - you can if you want, I just may not do anything about it. Then again, I might be lying to myself again, pretending that I would be willing to hear it when I am not. I don't know. I have never done this before, writing what I think as I think it. It is rather difficult for my fingers - i'm not sure how they are keeping up. Good for them.
But yes...The level of honesty she had with herself was amazing to me. And, I have already said this, but she was very passionate, which impressed me quite a bit.
Ah, shit, here comes the father...
One of the things I realized in the shower...well, I am starting to loose it now, but whatever. I realized that I don't care nearly as much about school as I used to. If I did, I would not have finished The Broken Bridge. If I did, I would not be writing this right now. As Mr. Westerman says, it has become doxa. I have been thinking a lot...about Ginny, about Hamlet, about Elizabeth, Seth, Tristram, Ronin, Alexander...my characters.
They are starting to define me, or rather, help me define myself. Well, no. It isn't the characters as much as the world and the world-building. Is that strange, that I am learning so much about myself from the world that I am creating in my head? I am starting to figure out what is important to me because of what I want it to be. I realize that I am a perfectionist, because I don't want there to be any holes in the structure of the world; none of those contradictions that I like to point out in things like Harry Potter. I realize that I am a realist, because I am trying so hard to make this world fit in with our own, and to work the way a real world would work, in everything from magic to the tectonic system. Yes, I have considered defining the tectonic activity of my world so that mountains are where they should be, and earthquakes and whatnot. In this, I also realize that science is important to me, because I want to go through so much to make it as accurate as possible. I realize also that, while I am a realist, I want my world to transcend reality. I want things to be grander there than they can be here. I take, for example, Acaira which, as some know...possibly not many, is a city made of crystal and stone that sits on the face of a waterfall, with the water diverted around it so as to serve its purposes and not flood the city. Could that happen here? No, never. It is possible in my world because of the ability of people to use thier minds to manipulate matter to be whatever they want it to be, and for them to use complex runes to cast spells and make the structure stronger. I must say, I have had a problem with the runes; in my world, they seem so far fetched, so different from everything else, the only really mystical element that I want to have.
I realize that I am deeply interested in the human psyche and the things that go along with it. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we have wars and why do we have the governments we do? They are such complex questions. I don't even know if I want to know the right answer. I just want to explore them and write down what I find. In fact, my stories aren't about the plots. The plots are cliche. But saying this, I realize that the plots are cliche because they deal with the same things that people have been thinking about for millenia.
Goodness. It is late, and I have homework. The progression of my mind has stopped as well. Oh well. Good night all.
You know, I have never done this before, writing out what I am thinking. I guess I am just afraid of loosing it. Too bad some of it is already gone. That's the only problem with thinking in the shower - it is wet. There is nothing to write on. I think we should fix that sometime.
Anyway, I must start off by saying that, Jennifer, I finished The Broken Bridge. It was amazing. I'm not even sure why, seeing as how I really don't have that much in common with Ginny. Even still, there is that connection. She is so passionate. Of course, thinking about it, I am rememebering what I thought in the shower...the thing that touched me was the whole process of figureing herself out. It takes a lot of confidence to admit that you are self-centered and a little snobbish, I think. Right now, I don't think I could handle that sort of thing. In fact, I know that I cannot. Not to discourage you guys from telling me what you think about me - you can if you want, I just may not do anything about it. Then again, I might be lying to myself again, pretending that I would be willing to hear it when I am not. I don't know. I have never done this before, writing what I think as I think it. It is rather difficult for my fingers - i'm not sure how they are keeping up. Good for them.
But yes...The level of honesty she had with herself was amazing to me. And, I have already said this, but she was very passionate, which impressed me quite a bit.
Ah, shit, here comes the father...
One of the things I realized in the shower...well, I am starting to loose it now, but whatever. I realized that I don't care nearly as much about school as I used to. If I did, I would not have finished The Broken Bridge. If I did, I would not be writing this right now. As Mr. Westerman says, it has become doxa. I have been thinking a lot...about Ginny, about Hamlet, about Elizabeth, Seth, Tristram, Ronin, Alexander...my characters.
They are starting to define me, or rather, help me define myself. Well, no. It isn't the characters as much as the world and the world-building. Is that strange, that I am learning so much about myself from the world that I am creating in my head? I am starting to figure out what is important to me because of what I want it to be. I realize that I am a perfectionist, because I don't want there to be any holes in the structure of the world; none of those contradictions that I like to point out in things like Harry Potter. I realize that I am a realist, because I am trying so hard to make this world fit in with our own, and to work the way a real world would work, in everything from magic to the tectonic system. Yes, I have considered defining the tectonic activity of my world so that mountains are where they should be, and earthquakes and whatnot. In this, I also realize that science is important to me, because I want to go through so much to make it as accurate as possible. I realize also that, while I am a realist, I want my world to transcend reality. I want things to be grander there than they can be here. I take, for example, Acaira which, as some know...possibly not many, is a city made of crystal and stone that sits on the face of a waterfall, with the water diverted around it so as to serve its purposes and not flood the city. Could that happen here? No, never. It is possible in my world because of the ability of people to use thier minds to manipulate matter to be whatever they want it to be, and for them to use complex runes to cast spells and make the structure stronger. I must say, I have had a problem with the runes; in my world, they seem so far fetched, so different from everything else, the only really mystical element that I want to have.
I realize that I am deeply interested in the human psyche and the things that go along with it. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we have wars and why do we have the governments we do? They are such complex questions. I don't even know if I want to know the right answer. I just want to explore them and write down what I find. In fact, my stories aren't about the plots. The plots are cliche. But saying this, I realize that the plots are cliche because they deal with the same things that people have been thinking about for millenia.
Goodness. It is late, and I have homework. The progression of my mind has stopped as well. Oh well. Good night all.