Meme on a Theme...PT II
21. Where would you like to go?
Bodie: The pub.
Doyle: He gets like this.
Cowley: I've a yen to see Scotland again. Maybe I should take you two with me, show you what a real pub looks like.
Napoleon: How about I take you to dinner, Illya?
Illya: Why?
Mr Waverly: Perhaps it would simplify matters if I took you both to dinner, I'm sure Mr Kuryakin would be less suspicious of my motives. Isn't that so, Mr Kuryakin?
Spock: If I wished to be somewhere else, I would be somewhere else. This is a very illogical line of questioning.
Kirk: Don't let it rattle you, Spock.
Dr McCoy: Attaboy, Spock. You hang in there.
22. Name 3 people who will complete this?
Bodie: Well, you are Doyle, and you, sir. Need a third…ummm
Doyle: You, you dolt.
Cowley: CI5's finest. Fine pair, you make.
Napoleon: Illya and I, and Mr Waverly. Three by my count.
Illya: I bow to your grasp of higher mathematics.
Mr Waverly: It would appear U.N.C.L.E. is in safe hands, if we ever open a kindergarten section.
Spock: I have, you have, Jim, and Dr McCoy.
Kirk: I can't fault your logic, Spock.
Dr McCoy: No, but wouldn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy if you could?
23. Do you own slippers?
Bodie: I think so.
Doyle: Mine are at yours. No, wait a bit, those are yours. Where are mine, then?
Cowley: Aye, a fine pair I was given last Christmas.
Napoleon: Of course. Elegant, simple, I like to think they add a touch of class to my more informal attire.
Illya: My informal attire looks like my formal attire.
Mr Waverly: I sincerely hope not, Mr Kuryakin. The embassy will be expecting black tie. And my slippers are where they should be, warming by the fire, awaiting my return.
Spock: I do not believe I have any item of footwear which could be described as such.
Kirk: They're not necessary on a starship.
Dr McCoy: Well, they may not be necessary, but I like them and I have a pair. You don't know what you're missing, Spock.
24. What colour shirt are you wearing?
Bodie: It's a polo neck, and it's brown.
Doyle: It's a t-shirt, green.
Cowley: Pale blue.
Napoleon: White.
Illya: White.
Mr Waverly: We appear to have something of a full house, gentlemen.
Spock: Blue.
Kirk: Yellow, gold…I don't think even the Academy can make up its mind.
Dr McCoy: Well the braid's gold, Jim. Mine's blue, same as the Vulcan.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Bodie: I'm a delicate mechanism, I need pampering. There was this bird once who had this big round bed. She 'ad these lilac satin sheets, does things to your skin, satin.
Doyle: I went home with bird who 'ad black satin sheets, chains, handcuffs, the lot. Made me excuses, get enough of that with the job.
Cowley: Aye, I've some fond memories, but I prefer something more practical.
Napoleon: Yes.
Illya: I can confirm this, he does. Even when THRUSH have impregnated them with hallucinogenic drugs.
Mr Waverly: Yes, a very unfortunate incident, it might be prudent for you to curb your more hedonistic instincts in the future, Mr Solo.
Spock: Satin, when made from silk, can be light and durable. It can also remain cool against the skin.
Kirk: Star fleet regulations don't often allow me the luxury.
Dr McCoy: How can you describe satin, Spock, and entirely ignore the poetry of it? What a race, those Vulcan senses are wasted on you.
26. Can you whistle?
Bodie: Yes, very tuneful I am too.
Doyle: Yeah, he does, especially if I'm trying to get some kip.
Cowley: I don't have much call for it these days.
Napoleon: I can.
Illya: I, also.
Mr Waverly: I find myself doing so less and less.
Spock: It is a skill of limited utility.
Kirk: I can, although I don't. It seems whistling starship captains make people nervous.
Dr McCoy: Spock means he can't, Vulcan genetics get in the way. Although he's half human and it's not technically impossible for a full blooded Vulcan to whistle. He's just a sourpuss. Now me, I whistle all the time.
27. Favourite colour?
Bodie: Dunno, that's a bird thing, isn't it?
Doyle: I like green.
Cowley: I've a soft spot for blue, but I've better things to be thinking about than this foolishness.
Napoleon: Well, I'm very fond of red lipstick.
Illya: I'm sure you'll look very fetching in it.
Mr Waverly: Please don't encourage him, Mr Kuryakin.
Spock: Certain colours are more harmonious than others. Vulcans have a branch of science which is dedicated to the exploration of this phenomenon.
Kirk: You never cease to amaze me, Spock.
Dr McCoy: Only Vulcans would make a science of it. What kind of people dissect a rainbow?
28. Would you be a pirate?
Bodie: Bloody nearly was.
Doyle: Just see you with an eye patch, where's yer wooden leg?
Cowley: I'm more intrigued as to the whereabouts of his parrot, Doyle.
Napoleon: A-ha, Jim lad…cutlasses at dawn…swashbuckling across the main…I think I'd fit in perfectly.
Illya: That accent's worse than your French one.
Mr Waverly: I have, in my time, been accused of being somewhat piratical. However, I draw the line at knee breeches. Hardly suitable for a man in my position.
Spock: Piracy is not to be commended.
Kirk: Not the criminality, Spock, no, but they were fine sailors, and Captains who had to win the support of their crew. You know they actually elected them. In many ways a starship on a voyage like this has a lot in common with those old wooden sailing vessels.
Dr McCoy: You would have had a ship's Surgeon in those days too, Jim. But medicine was in its infancy, as much superstition as science, I would have lost more than I saved. Thank the Lord, we don't have plague ships anymore.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Bodie: Hymns.
Doyle: He does, too. But you wouldn't recognise the words.
Cowley: If I didn't already despair of your soul, Bodie, that might put the tin lid on it.
Napoleon: Depends on the company.
Illya: Good Russian songs, which I can no longer hear on the radio.
Mr Waverly: I'm afraid I'm rather partial to a little Gilbert and Sullivan.
Spock: I see no benefit to singing whilst in the shower.
Kirk: I never know until I get in there.
Dr McCoy: You have no soul, Spock. A man should sing in the shower, relieves all kinds of tensions. I favour Clementine, myself. Not the same in these new fangled contraptions, of course. To get the full benefit, you need a proper, old fashioned, honest-to-goodness shower. Can't remember the last time I had one of those.
30. Favourite girl's name?
Bodie: Susan.
Doyle: I used to like Ann.
Cowley: Aye, Annie's not been lucky for either of us, Doyle.
Napoleon: Clara, once.
Illya: It is a Russian name.
Mr Waverly: I married her.
Spock: Amanda, although I once heard a Romulan name one might consider rare and beautiful.
Kirk: Your Mother, Spock.
Dr McCoy: An impressive lady. Both your parents, Spock. Though with the same Achilles heel, they failed to fully appreciate the qualities of their son. I hope you know Star Fleet isn't so blinkered.
31. Favourite boy's name?
Bodie: Take your pick, William, Andrew or Philip.
Doyle: I'll stick with Bodie.
Cowley: And I'll stick with 3.7, 4.5.
Napoleon: Napoleon, what else?
Illya: Narcissus?
Mr Waverly: Quite so, Mr Kuryakin.
Spock: A name is a means by which an object or individual may be catalogued or identified and therefore tends to reveal more about the namer than the named.
Kirk: A rose, by any other name, eh Spock?
Dr McCoy: Don't encourage him, Jim.
32. What's in your pocket right now?
Bodie: Me wallet and some chewing gum.
Doyle: Wallet, lighter.
Cowley: A pocket handkerchief, which is all a gentleman need carry, besides his wallet.
Napoleon: Money, lighter, handkerchief - a few little doodads U.N.C.L.E. dreamt up.
Illya: As Napoleon, with the addition of a garrotting wire.
Mr Waverly: I carry a little money and some tobacco and, of course, my handkerchief.
Spock: My uniform has no pockets.
Kirk: Nor mine.
Dr McCoy: Ah, for a white coat…
33. Last person who made you laugh?
Bodie: Him.
Doyle: Him.
Cowley: Them.
Napoleon: Illya, I believe.
Illya: I'm quite positive it was Napoleon.
Mr Waverly: Well, I must admit to finding certain aspects of your last affair to be somewhat whimsical, gentlemen.
Spock: I am a Vulcan. I refrain from laughter.
Kirk: I believe I've caught you smiling.
Dr McCoy: Well, speaking as his physician, Jim, I'd put money on his being ticklish.
34. Best toy as a child?
Bodie: What is it the yanks plead?
Doyle: He had a teddy bear.
Cowley: As did I, Doyle.
Napoleon: A bike.
Illya: Books.
Mr Waverly: I seem to remember being rather fond of a teddy bear.
Spock: Vulcan children do not have toys as humans would understand them.
Kirk: Vulcan children have games, though.
Dr McCoy: I had an Aunt who was always buying me those sorts of games. Sometimes a child doesn't need to be improved, what he really needs is to skin his knee climbing a few trees.
35. Worst injury?
Bodie: Yeah, well, depends on how you look at it, doesn't it?
Doyle: Got shot.
Cowley: Yes, we have that in common at least, Doyle.
Napoleon: Few near misses, but I'm in one piece.
Illya: Luck has been with us.
Mr Waverly: It is said some men make their own luck, Mr Kuryakin.
Spock: I died.
Kirk: I thought I had.
Dr McCoy: This is why they pay me the big bucks.
36. Where would you love to live?
Bodie: In the lap of luxury.
Doyle: Dunno, France, maybe. I could do some real cooking there.
Cowley: Scotland.
Napoleon: New York.
Illya: I have not decided. It is complicated.
Mr Waverly: I am content where I am, I'm a little long in the tooth for gallivanting, I leave that sort of thing to the younger men.
Spock: Vulcan.
Kirk: Starship Captains make their homes on board their vessels. Maybe the country, when I retire, I have a fondness for horses.
Dr McCoy: I have a fondness for anywhere I can't feel a deck beneath my feet.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house
Bodie: One, how many do you need?
Doyle: Yeah, one, but I was thinking about getting one of those portable jobbies for the bedroom. Not sure if you need another license for one of those, though.
Cowley: Aye, one. Though, I listen more to the wireless.
Napoleon: Two.
Illya: Why?
Mr Waverly: Three. We sometimes have guests.
Spock: None. I'm not aware of any member of the crew who has one.
Kirk: Television? Not sure I've met anyone in the fleet who has one, Bones?
Dr McCoy: We've run across them from time to time, strictly period pieces.
38. Who is your loudest friend?
Bodie: Him.
Doyle: Him.
Cowley: There was a wee lad when I was maybe six, you could've heard him above a force nine. Died in North Africa.
Napoleon: I cast no aspersions.
Illya: Mmmm…
Mr Waverly: I did have a rather deaf Aunt, consequently, my Uncle. Rather appropriate, if not entirely to the point.
Spock: I would suggest a competition between Mr Scott and Dr McCoy might prove edifying.
Kirk: My money's on Scotty.
Dr McCoy: Well, technically Uhura wins, you can hear her from the bridge just about anywhere.
39. How many dogs do you have?
Bodie: None.
Doyle: Nope.
Cowley: I've always had a fancy for a wee highland terrier, but none.
Napoleon: None.
Illya: None.
Mr Waverly: Alas, none at present.
Spock: None.
Kirk: None, but maybe when I retire…
Dr McCoy: A man's best friend, good choice, Jim.
40. Does someone trust you?
Bodie: Do you, Sunshine?
Doyle: Yeah.
Cowley: My country invests a great deal of trust in me. I do not intend to let it down.
Napoleon: I'd like to think Illya does.
Illya: He does.
Mr Waverly: The men and women under my command, it is not a responsibility I take lightly.
Spock: I would hope…Jim?
Kirk: Implicitly, Spock.
Dr McCoy: You're irritating, Spock, not untrustworthy.
41. What is your favourite movie?
Bodie: The Great Escape. Or Emmanuelle.
Doyle: Obsessed, that's what you are.
Cowley: Aye, not a bad film. Some fine performances.
Napoleon: Gigi.
Illya: It is a Russian film. I have not seen it for many years.
Mr Waverly: I've rather a soft spot for The Adventures of Robin Hood, Errol Flynn, don't you know?
Spock: I prefer the theatre.
Kirk: I like to read when I can get the chance, but Bones has dragged me to see a western or two.
Dr McCoy: Or three, or four…admit it, Jim, you like them.
42. What's your favourite sweet?
Bodie: Spotted dick with custard.
Doyle: Rising above the obvious, pavlova - unless you mean from the sweet shop, in which case he'll have a gobstopper.
Cowley: I have some fond memories of black treacle toffee.
Napoleon: I'm not particular, so long as it comes with cherries jubilee.
Illya: I'm not particular.
Mr Waverly: I've always rather enjoyed a steamed pudding.
Spock: I believe I have already explained Vulcan nutritional requirements.
Kirk: Ice cream.
Dr McCoy: Good thinking, Jim, ice cream.
43. What's your favourite sports team?
Bodie: Liverpool for the cup.
Doyle: Keep taking the pills.
Cowley: If you two comedians have nothing better to do, I'm sure I can find you something.
Napoleon: We're kept a little too busy with THRUSH to follow sports.
Illya: Unfortunately, this is so. His team also loses, quite regularly.
Mr Waverly: I'm afraid I've rather lost touch, U.N.C.L.E., you know.
Spock: If I understand the concept correctly, then I do not support a team.
Kirk: I'm afraid life aboard a starship, especially on a mission of this kind, doesn't leave much room for anything else.
Dr McCoy: I'm a Doctor, not a sports fan.
44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Bodie: Oh, that's cheerful.
Doyle: How about the hokey cokey?
Cowley: I wouldn't put it past you, Doyle.
Napoleon: Something very long and imperial, which hasn't been written yet. I'm not planning to go early.
Illya: I've no wish to go at all.
Mr Waverly: Indeed, Mr Kuryakin.
Spock: I expect that the appropriate rites will be observed.
Kirk: Every single time, Spock, until you decide to stay dead.
Dr McCoy: Let that be a comfort to you, Spock.
END