(no subject)
i'm having one of those days where i start thinking about all the people i've bothered to keep in touch with over the years, and i wonder how many of them still consider me important in their lives. y'know? i guess it's self-doubt, but i have a hard time believing that i'm super important to very many people. if i stopped communicating with the world, i don't know how many people would notice.
this isn't really the pity party it sounds like. i love my life, and i'm all wrapped up in it, and my friends are wrapped up in their lives, too. and i really hope my friends love their lives at least most days. it's just...sometimes i start to think about whom i'd call if i needed someone to be there for me right then. someone i wouldn't feel bad calling, who would be genuinely interested and wouldn't feel at all awkward. and the names are fewer and fewer these days. i love my friends but i've just been away from so many of them for so long. i can't imagine most of them wouldn't feel weird about trying to have a deep conversation, an old-times relationship, with the ways in which we've all grown up. and i get a little sad about that sometimes.
um, also, i just got my new rolling stone in the mail and zac efron is on the cover, and i feel kinda sheepish saying this, but he is smokin' hot. i have paid zero attention to this kid up to now because, well, he's a kid. nineteen, i guess. but DUDE. seriously.
this isn't really the pity party it sounds like. i love my life, and i'm all wrapped up in it, and my friends are wrapped up in their lives, too. and i really hope my friends love their lives at least most days. it's just...sometimes i start to think about whom i'd call if i needed someone to be there for me right then. someone i wouldn't feel bad calling, who would be genuinely interested and wouldn't feel at all awkward. and the names are fewer and fewer these days. i love my friends but i've just been away from so many of them for so long. i can't imagine most of them wouldn't feel weird about trying to have a deep conversation, an old-times relationship, with the ways in which we've all grown up. and i get a little sad about that sometimes.
um, also, i just got my new rolling stone in the mail and zac efron is on the cover, and i feel kinda sheepish saying this, but he is smokin' hot. i have paid zero attention to this kid up to now because, well, he's a kid. nineteen, i guess. but DUDE. seriously.