ok, so what i actually wanted to say.

[finstergrrrl]

um, this is in particular aimed at my female-identified friends who are now or have recently been in relationships with guys of one sort or another. (but i'd love to hear from anyone with a thought

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[twostepsfwd]

honestly, this reminds me of one of the reasons i am grateful to be single again and no longer partnered with a man. it is nice to feel accepted as a dyke, and visible as a dyke.

i guess because i'm butch i've never had to deal with ppl questioning my queerness, if anything ppl were just confused about me being with a guy rather than assuming i was straight.

but anyway, i think at some point all you can do is be as "out" and loud as you can, understand why queers might not be accepting, advocate for yourself, and use your straight privilege to advocate for queer rights. it's refreshing to hear about a married bi woman wanting to actually be involved with queer stuff rather than just sitting back in the comfort of straightness except for checking out chicks with her husband. know what i mean? hate to say it but bi women are often really de-politicized.

bi and trans ppl are never universally accepted in queer spaces, so we have to make our own place there - acknowledging but our queerness and our privilege, and acting like we belong there even if some poeple question our belonging.

[finstergrrrl]

i do know what you mean about the involvement issue. that's part of why i feel as though i should be involved politically if i want to maintain my standing, as it were, in the queer community. not to mention it just matters to me.

your last paragraph in particular really speaks to me. "acting like we belong there" is the hard part for me - i've so convinced myself that i no longer belong and i want to belong. i've convinced myself that my privilege precludes that belonging, and i don't want that to be the case.