While I'm venting... (aka can't sleep til I get it out of my skull...)
She has a relationship with an older gentleman, wherein she gives him what he wants, and he 'spoils her rotten' and gives her what she wants. She of course would say the moment I bring this up that each relationship is unique, and with each person her arrangements are different.
She is correct, but that misses the point-- She gets what she wants, *AND* she gives him what he wants... There's an exchange there... it apparently works for both of them.
The relationship she wants to have with me (a 'friendship' according to her-- take it, or have no relationship with her at all according to her ultimatum) amounts to a relationship where she gets everything she wants from me, and she gives nothing back.
Anyone else wonder why that's never worked?
Put another way:
She can keep the older gentleman (and her other playmates), and he’ll keep looking out for her and spoiling her because she gives him what he wants. She cannot keep me, because she does not give me what I want, and she does not offer anything else that can take its place.
Now she makes me frustrated, tense, irritated, edgy, angry, envious, sad and deeply unhappy when I’m around her or involved with her. It doesn’t matter that I love her and care about her deeply (I really do-- it's just not enough to overcome the baggage)- our so-called friendship will not survive that.
She is correct, but that misses the point-- She gets what she wants, *AND* she gives him what he wants... There's an exchange there... it apparently works for both of them.
The relationship she wants to have with me (a 'friendship' according to her-- take it, or have no relationship with her at all according to her ultimatum) amounts to a relationship where she gets everything she wants from me, and she gives nothing back.
Anyone else wonder why that's never worked?
Put another way:
She can keep the older gentleman (and her other playmates), and he’ll keep looking out for her and spoiling her because she gives him what he wants. She cannot keep me, because she does not give me what I want, and she does not offer anything else that can take its place.
Now she makes me frustrated, tense, irritated, edgy, angry, envious, sad and deeply unhappy when I’m around her or involved with her. It doesn’t matter that I love her and care about her deeply (I really do-- it's just not enough to overcome the baggage)- our so-called friendship will not survive that.