Fic: A Lot Alike [Ch. 1?/]
Title: A Lot Alike
Author(s): watchforwalkers & coincidental_penalties
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst/romance
Warnings: Past Finn/Quinn, Past Kurt/Blaine (neither appear in the fic for more than a glance, portrayal only mildly negative)
Spoilers: Through 2x20
Word Count: 7846
Summary: On the night of junior prom, Kurt is crowned prom queen and runs out of the gym into the hallway. Instead of Blaine following him, Kurt instead runs straight into Finn-literally-and changes the course of both their relationships.
After Finn gets kicked out of the prom, he's left in the hallway with the orders to go to the bathroom to ‘soak that hot head’, and to wait out there for his date. Finn does stick his head under the water in the bathroom sink, but even with his hair still dripping down his face and onto his rented tuxedo, he doesn’t feel cooled off. Not at all.
He spends the next few minutes pacing up and down the hallway, giving a few lockers a good kick on the way, maybe not-so-secretly hoping someone will hear the noise and come try to get into it with him. Finn’s still spoiling for a fight.
One of the gym doors slams open, then shuts again with a loud clatter, followed by the sound of one person running through the halls, coming closer to Finn. Finn turns around to see who it is-maybe somebody he can throw down with-just in time for someone to barrel straight into Finn’s chest, bouncing off him and landing on the floor.
Finn says “Oof!” and then realizes it’s Kurt on the floor, his legs sprawling as he starts to sit up, grimacing. There are some tears running down his cheeks, too, and he looks over his shoulder expectantly, then sags a little as he finishes climbing to his feet.
“Finn?” he says, his voice sounding oddly hollow. “What are you doing out here?”
“I got kicked out for trying to punch Jesse St. James,” Finn says. “What are you doing out here?” He offers Kurt his hand. “And why are you upset?”
“They-” Kurt breaks off, taking Finn’s hand and looking behind him again. “They wrote my name in. For prom queen.”
“Who?” Finn asks, as he pulls Kurt up onto his feet.
“I don’t know. People. Enough people,” Kurt says, and a few more tears slide down his face. “Enough people that their ‘extensive write in campaign’ propelled me to victory,” he says bitterly.
“That’s terrible. How did they let that happen? How did Principal Figgins let that happen?” Finn pats his hands down Kurt’s back, because comforting somebody kind of awkwardly can also look a lot like helping them dust off after being on the floor, and Finn’ll let Kurt decide which of those two things he needs it to be.
“I don’t know,” Kurt says, shaking his head and leaning forward, into Finn’s chest, almost like he can’t hold himself up. “Why do they hate me that much, Finn?”
Finn puts his arm around Kurt, because hugging somebody and helping them steady themselves on their feet can look a lot alike, too. “I don’t know, Kurt. I don’t understand it, either.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Kurt admits. “Should I leave? Should I go back in there? Everyone was silent. No one said anything.”
“Where’s Blaine? Is he coming out here for you?”
Kurt looks over his shoulder again, then shakes his head. “I guess not,” he says sadly. “He didn’t really want to come tonight. Everyone here proved him right, he’ll probably say.”
“I still think you look great,” Finn insists. “Do you want to go back in there? If you want to go, I’ll go with you. They can just try to kick me out again.”
Kurt doesn’t answer for a few moments, looking towards the gym, then at Finn, before squaring his shoulders in a way that looks a lot like how Burt would and nodding. “I should. I should go back in, and I should accept the crown, and I should dance with-” Kurt cuts himself off and frowns again. “With someone. Maybe Blaine. Not the prom king.”
“Who is the prom king?” Finn asks. “Not me, I’m guessing?”
“David Karofsky,” Kurt says simply, turning and starting to walk towards the gym.
“David Ka- Kurt!” Finn says, starting to walking after him. “You are definitely not dancing with Karofsky!”
“It probably would not be the best idea, I agree,” Kurt says, nodding once. “I’ll see if Blaine is willing to dance. If not, I’m sure Mercedes would dance with me.”
“Too bad I didn’t win, I guess,” Finn says. “I would’ve danced with you. Hell, I’ll still dance with you, if you want. Wouldn’t be the first time, right? And this way we’re not wasting all that practice from before!”
Kurt smiles a little at that, wiping at his eyes and stopping in front of the gym door. “It would be better than Mercedes, wouldn’t it? I appreciate the offer, Finn,” he says, then reaches for the door with a deep breath.
Once Kurt pulls the door open, Finn reaches over him and catches the edge of the door. “If nothing else, you might get to watch me get kicked out again,” Finn says.
“I somehow suspect they’ve forgotten you were kicked out,” Kurt mutters, then turns to face the silent gym. Kurt walks up to the stage, head held high, and he takes the crown from Principal Figgins before putting it on his own head and stepping towards the microphone. “Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton.”
Finn isn’t sure who Kate Middleton is-maybe some girl who was running for prom queen-but whoever she is, she couldn’t have done a better job accepting that crown. Most of the people in the crowd start to applaud, though a few don’t, and Finn makes a point of studying every single non-clapper’s face so he can remember them later. As he glares at a pair of non-clapping guys along the far wall, he notices Blaine slipping out the door on that side.
Kurt turns to Karofsky and whispers something before looking back at the crowd and Finn, and Karofsky leaves the stage, walking over to Santana. Kurt makes eye contact with Finn and raises his eyebrow questioningly, then looks around, like he isn’t sure where Blaine is. Finn shrugs, because he can’t exactly communicate ‘your boyfriend slunk out like a weasel’ from this far away.
Since it’s obvious Kurt and Karofsky are definitely not going to dance, though, Finn starts making his way towards Kurt. Before he can get very far, though, he’s intercepted by Coach Sylvester.
“Oversized damp loser! You didn’t win prom king, and even if you had, you’re still not allowed back in this dance!” she says, pointing towards the door.
“Yeah, well you and the other people in charge at this school just let my brother be elected prom queen,” Finn says, taking another step towards Kurt. “So now I’m going over there to dance with him, because I think he’s already been embarrassed enough tonight, without not getting to dance, don’t you think?”
“I am only responsible for prom security, not prom elections,” Coach Sylvester says. “Porcelain’s possible embarrassment is not my concern, but your predilection for beginning fights is.”
“Well, when Burt finds out what happened here, it’s all going to be everybody’s concern,” Finn says. Coach Sylvester opens her mouth to respond, then shuts it, scowling and glaring at Finn before pointing towards Kurt. Finn nods and hurries over to Kurt. “Hey,” he says, once he’s there. “Guess I’m not getting kicked out again yet.”
“That’s good,” Kurt says, sounding a little bit distracted. “Did Blaine- did he leave?” he asks, even as he’s taking Finn’s hand and getting in position to dance.
“I didn’t see him,” Finn says, because he’s not going to be the one to tell him about the slinking away. “Sorry.”
Kurt sighs. “It’s not your fault,” he says, plastering on his fake smile as they dance. “Why did anyone think this was a good song for right now?” he mutters through the fake smile as ‘Dancing Queen’ plays.
“Yeah, this is the worst song ever,” Finn agrees. He keeps a good grip on Kurt’s hand and waist while they dance, and also keeps a good watch on the people dancing around them, just in case someone makes a face they shouldn’t be making in Kurt’s direction.
Kurt doesn’t say anything else during the song, just keeps smiling his fake smile until it finally stops. “Thank you,” he says quietly to Finn, then just as he’s releasing Finn’s hand and stepping away, he frowns again suddenly. “Oh, for- dammit!”
“What? Did I step on you foot?”
“No, no,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “It’s just that Blaine drove.”
“Oh. Well, I drove, too,” Finn says. “Did you want to ride home with me?”
“I think I’d prefer it to walking, yes,” Kurt says, then winces. “I didn’t mean to sound quite so bitter.” He stares at the door. “Can we do that now?”
“Sure. I think that Sylvester’s probably going to come kick me out now that we’re done dancing, anyway,” Finn says. He holds his elbow out a little, so if Kurt wants to think Finn’s offering him an arm, he can, though Finn is otherwise prepared to just say he feels like standing like a cowboy. Kurt does take Finn’s arm, which is good, since arm-offering and being a cowboy don’t really look a lot alike, and Kurt walks towards the door without looking anywhere except straight ahead.
It isn’t until they’re outside the gym and the school itself that Kurt seems to deflate a little, and he turns to Finn with a slightly wild look in his eyes. “We can’t tell Dad!”
“Oh, yeah, definitely not!” Finn says. “I won’t tell him anything!”
“We can’t let him check the school website or any other news!” Kurt continues, looking more panicked. “He might try to make me go back to Dalton, and I definitely can’t go back now, not if Blaine left in the middle of prom!” He stops in the middle of the parking lot, turning in his place, and then he nods sort of slowly. “Do you think… should I assume that’s a break up?”
“No, I’m sure it’s not that ,” Finn says, though he’s actually a lot more sure that it kind of is that.
“He hasn’t called or texted,” Kurt says, biting on his lower lip and then looking up at Finn. “Wouldn’t he have done something if it wasn’t supposed to be a break up?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he was worried or scared or something,” Finn says. He wishes that were true for Kurt’s sake, but Blaine’s version of ‘worried or scared’ looked a lot like a break up from where Finn was standing.
“Maybe,” Kurt says disbelieving, and he stares at his completely silent phone for a few moments before sighing. “Let’s just go home. Or let’s get some ice cream, and then go home.”
“Sure,” Finn says. “Come on. I’ll even buy yours for you.” He opens the passenger door of his truck for Kurt, and once Kurt is inside, Finn walks around to the driver’s side and gets in.
“The Dairy Queen’s probably closest,” Kurt says, leaning against the door, and the crown is on the floor, looking more like it was thrown than anything else.
“Okay. Dairy Queen it is,” Finn says. Hopefully they’ll have better luck with Dairy Queen than prom queen, at least.
Kurt is quiet on the drive, and Finn doesn’t break the silence, just in case it’s something Kurt really needs. The drive isn’t far, and once Finn parks, they both get out and walk towards the door. Kurt still looks sad, so Finn sprints ahead of him just enough to beat him to the door, holding it open for Kurt to walk in. Kurt half-smiles at Finn as he walks in, nodding his head.
“Thank you,” he says quietly before going to the counter and ordering a large strawberry cheesecake blizzard. Finn orders a banana split, and when he sees Kurt trying to hide a smile, Finn starts ordering all kinds of extra toppings on it, brownie bites and all the different sauces, until he finally gets a laugh out of Kurt. “You do have to actually eat that!” Kurt says as he laughs.
"Do you doubt my ice cream eating powers?" Finn asks.
“I meant the taste, not the volume!” Kurt says. “How in the world is that going to taste?”
"Like a bowl full of awesome."
Kurt shakes his head, still laughing a little as they move to the side to wait for their orders. “If it tastes horrible, I’ll probably end up saying I told you so,” he says to Finn like he’s warning him.
"If it tastes horrible, you'll never know, because no way am I admitting that," Finn counters. "It'll be the best ice cream I ever had whether it is or not."
“I suppose my only hope of knowing is seeing if you ever order it again,” Kurt says, taking his blizzard from the worker with a very small smile.
"No way. I'm coming back tomorrow and getting the same thing, no matter what," Finn says, though when the worker slides the overloaded banana split across the counter to him, Finn has to force himself not to grimace at it, because it looks pretty disgusting.
“Ambitious of you,” Kurt says, taking a bite of his blizzard as they walk to sit down. He sits down with a heavy sigh and looks at Finn sadly. “I feel like a teen movie cliche, albeit a misgendered one.”
"Huh?" Finn asks. "I only understood about, like, half of that."
“You know, the hero of the story-in theory, that would be me, but usually it would be a heroine-seemingly has a good boyfriend and they’re happily attending the school dance when something humiliating happens, the boyfriend is revealed as a fiend, and the hero is left alone and dejected as a result,” Kurt says, stabbing at his blizzard with his spoon. “I’m not sure what you are, though. The witty sidekick?”
“Wait, so… like Carrie?”
“Nothing bloody happened to me, luckily, and as I said, I’m the wrong gender, but yes, close enough.” Kurt waves his spoon around in the air and sighs again. “I don’t really have one of those ‘long-time best friend’ roles filled, either. I’m apparently a bad teen movie.”
“I can be your long-time teen movie best friend, I guess,” Finn offers. “I kind of fail at being a good teen movie, too. I mean, I punched another girl’s date and got myself kicked out of prom.”
“Jesse St. James probably deserved to be punched, though perhaps not for the reasons you were punching him,” Kurt says thoughtfully. “But you’re correct. You’re also a bad teen movie. At least I’m not alone.”
“I mean, technically I didn’t punch him. I swung and missed,” Finn admits.
“Oh. That’s too bad.” Kurt sighs again, and he eats more of his blizzard before looking at Finn again. “Do you think it was my kilt?”
Finn shakes his head, because that much, at least, he knows. “Votes had to be in by Wednesday,” he tells Kurt. “Nobody knew you were going Braveheart-style.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good,” Kurt says. “In that case, I’m doubly glad I wore it, then.”
“But, hey! If you didn’t know they voted on Wednesday, that means you didn’t vote for me!” Finn says, shaking his spoon at Kurt. “You’re a traitor!”
“I asked around, and they said you couldn’t vote in one race and not the other,” Kurt says, not meeting Finn’s eyes. “I wasn’t allowed to skip voting for queen.”
“Who told you that? That’s not even true, traitor!”
Kurt sighs. “Fine. I found the entire exercise somewhat ridiculous, especially the way the girls were acting, so I abstained.”
“Well, I thought it was ridiculous how they acted, too, but now I’m the one with the girlfriend who didn’t win prom queen,” Finn says. He stirs some of his remaining ice cream creation, swirling it together so it’s all a pinky-brownish-grey. “Quinn is going to be so, so pissed at me.”
“You can take her the crown, if you’d like,” Kurt offers. “And the assurance that I would have much rather have seen her win.”
“I think that ship has already sailed,” Finn says, shaking his head sadly at the whole mess, and also at his mangled banana split, which actually looks a lot like this whole night feels.
“Well, the offer stands,” Kurt says. “I don’t intend to keep it, after all.”
“Maybe I should keep it,” Finn suggests. “I’ll wear it in on Monday and dare somebody to say something about my brother the prom queen.”
“Are you trying to get ejected from classes like you were the prom?” Kurt asks. “And do you think I should text Blaine?”
“Nope, that’s just bonus, and probably, yeah,” Finn says.
“What should I say?” Kurt pulls out his phone and stares at it. “I’ve never had anyone break up with me before. Or leave me at a public venue without a guaranteed means of getting home.”
“Well, do you want to be broken up?” Finn asks. “If you do, you just ask him for your stuff back, like any CDs you loaned him or whatever other stuff. If you don’t, you should probably ask him why he left, so if he has a good reason, he gets a chance to explain.”
“I don’t want him to have broken up with me, but it’s hard to interpret his actions in any other way,” Kurt says. “If he merely wanted to leave, he could have followed me into the hall and told me. Right?”
“Maybe just text him that you want to talk to him in person tomorrow,” Finn says. “If he brings your stuff without you asking, it’s over for sure.”
“Okay,” Kurt says with a small sigh, typing out a message before putting his phone down and looking at Finn suspiciously. “You’re being awfully understanding of Blaine leaving. Do you think he was right to leave?”
“What? No!” Finn says. “I guess I’m just thinking about how I got myself kicked out of prom, but then when I got back in, I didn’t even try to find Quinn or anything. I figure if Blaine’s a bad guy for what he did, then I am, too, and I kind of really don’t want to be a bad guy.”
“Are you wanting to break up with Quinn?” Kurt asks. “And I don’t think anyone is bad. It’s just… confusing.”
“But I chose Quinn over Rachel, kind of, so I wouldn’t want to break up with her or anything, right?” Finn asks, because Kurt might be a little right.
“You do realize that some people are single at times?” Kurt asks, looking a little sad about it. “You could want to break up with Quinn without it meaning you want to be with Rachel.”
“Yeah, but I’m the quarterback,” Finn protests. “The quarterback doesn’t ever have to be single.”
Kurt puts his head in his hands. “First of all, do you actually believe that part of the teen movie cliche?” he asks, his voice muffled by his hands still over his face. “And I didn’t say you had to be. I said you could be. And there are more than two girls at McKinley.”
“I don’t like to be single. It’s really lonely.”
“So the worst thing that can happen is being single?” Kurt asks, sounding incredulous, and he looks up from his hands at the end of the sentence. “I should have sent a different text, then!”
“Which text did you send?” Finn asks. “Was it the stuff back one?”
“Not exactly. I said that unless he did have a good explanation for disappearing and leaving me stranded, I wanted my stuff my back,” Kurt says with a sigh. “And as much as I have enjoyed having a boyfriend, you do realize being single isn’t the worst thing in the world?”
“No,” Finn says. “I mean, I don’t know. I haven’t ever really been single for very long, and it kind of sucked when I was.”
“I think I get to claim being the expert on being single, then,” Kurt says, looking huffy and exasperated.
“Well, do you like being single?”
“There are times that it’s disheartening, yes, but I can still have a full life when I’m single,” Kurt says after a few moments pass. “However, my dislike stems more from lack of options.”
“Well, maybe you’re just better than me,” Finn says. He sticks his spoon into what’s left of the banana split and pushes the bowl away. “I guess I’m just needier than you.”
Kurt waves his spoon in the air again. “Or you actually believe what you said about the quarterback.” He snorts. “It’s not like you’re going to actually marry your high school girlfriend or anything.”
Finn shrugs, too embarrassed to admit that that’s exactly what he thought would happen. “Yeah,” he says, which sounds a lot like he’s agreeing with Kurt.
“That said…” Kurt trails off into another sigh. “If you break up with Quinn and don’t get back together with Rachel, it’s still quite likely you wouldn’t be single for more than a week.”
“Yeah, I guess there are other Cheerios who’d want to go out with me,” Finn says. Kurt puts his spoon down and stares silently at Finn. “What?”
“Do you really think you have to be dating a Cheerio?” Kurt asks incredulously. “More than that, do you really feel like your life is sad and lacking if you don’t have a girl yelling at you? Because your girlfriends tend to yell at you a lot.”
“That’s what girlfriends do,” Finn explains. “You don’t know, because you don’t like girls.”
“No, that’s what Quinn and Rachel do,” Kurt insists. “Tina doesn’t yell at Mike. Brittany didn’t yell at Artie. Your mom doesn’t yell at my dad!”
“Maybe they yell in private,” Finn says, shrugging. “And Santana yelled at Puck, and so did Lauren.”
“Santana yells at everyone,” Kurt says dismissively, “and I think Puck gets off on being yelled at. Regardless, no. I’m also privy to information you are not privy to, and I can assure you my aforementioned examples do not yell in private.”
“Yeah, like they’d tell you if they did,” Finn says, shaking his head.
“Your mother wouldn’t,” Kurt says dryly, “but you wouldn’t believe the things I know.” He looks smug as he scrapes the bottom of his blizzard cup. “If you like being yelled at, that’s fine, Finn, but no, I’m quite sure that’s not a universal girlfriend duty.”
“Okay, smart guy, what are some of the things you know?” Finn asks. No point in
addressing whether he likes to be yelled at or not, since that’s just what happens.
“I can’t break a confidence!” Kurt says, looking scandalized. “You might tell Mike or Artie!”
“Then don’t use names,” Finn says. “Obviously.”
“Finn, you’d figure out who it was, even if I didn’t use names,” Kurt says patiently. “I was just making it easier on both of us.”
“Please? Just tell me one!”
“Mike and Tina almost broke up two months ago over St. Patrick’s Day,” Kurt says, pursing his lips in apparent disapproval of himself. “Mike hates being pinched but also took some kind of stand against wearing green.”
“Really?” Finn says. “That’s the best you can give me? That’s not even all that interesting! I thought I was getting something real here.”
“You didn’t specify what kind of information,” Kurt says primly, pushing his cup away from him. “As it turns out, most of our friends have rather pedestrian lives.”
“Come on,” Finn whines. “Just one interesting thing!”
“I didn’t know you had voyeuristic tendencies!” Kurt says.
“Huh? I just want some gossip, not that voy-thing!”
Kurt laughs, looking like he’s at least temporarily forgotten the rest of the evening’s events. “Artie won’t let Brittany give him a blowjob,” he blurts, then claps his hand over his mouth.
Finn grins. “See? That’s more what I was talking ab- wait, why? Like, why would anybody turn that down? I mean, I’m not, you know. From experience or anything. But still, why would you say no to that?”
“I have no idea.” Kurt shrugs. “Brittany has a wacky theory about yetis.”
“What do yetis have to do with- you know, never mind,” Finn says, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’d say no, even if the person offering had yeti theories.”
“Then you’re all set with Brittany,” Kurt says dryly. “There you go. Brittany’s single right now. You can date her. She’s a Cheerio and everything.”
“Yeah, but Brittany and Santana are kind of a set, and I can’t do the Santana thing again,” Finn says.
“Oh, so there is something worse than being single,” Kurt says triumphantly.
“Yeah. Santana.”
“But she’s a Cheerio, Finn,” Kurt says sweetly. “And you’d get a blow job from Brittany.”
“Which would probably be awesome, but Santana is Santana,” Finn counters. “Santana is like the only thing that would make me turn down a blow job.”
“So if a guy wanted to blow you, you’d be fine with that?” Kurt says skeptically.
Finn shrugs. “A blow job is a blow job, or that’s what Puck says, anyway. It’s not like kissing or having sex with somebody. Getting a blow job doesn’t say anything about somebody.”
“That’s quite a-” Kurt stops mid-sentence when his phone dings, and he pushes it across the table. “You look for me.”
Finn nods and picks up the phone. The message reads ‘maybe it’s best we take a break’, which is really all Finn needs to know. He sighs and slides the phone back towards Kurt.
“I think you’re getting your stuff back,” Finn says. “Sorry, Kurt.”
Kurt sighs and puts his phone away without looking at it. “I suspected as much. That doesn’t make it feel any better.”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry.” Kurt’s hand is still on the table, so Finn puts his hand on top of Kurt’s, patting it a few times. “You going to be okay?” Finn asks.
“Is it horrible that I don’t know what hurts more, the break up or the prom queen thing?” Kurt says, not looking directly at Finn. “I mean, it feels like the break up should hurt more, but it’s only been two months. I’ve gone to school with some of those people for twelve years.”
“I think it’s probably okay if both of them hurt,” Finn says. “I mean, not okay like it’s cool, but okay like it’s totally normal-sounding.”
Kurt nods slowly, still not looking at Finn, and he takes a few deep breaths before suddenly smiling and looking at Finn again. “We should go home now, and you can explain more about how getting a blow job doesn’t mean anything. Are you trying to tell me I should let Brittany blow me?”
Finn shrugs as he stands up. “I’m not telling you anything, but that way, you’d have had a blow job, at least.” He picks up Kurt’s empty blizzard cup and the remains of his own banana split monstrosity, chucking them both into the trash by the door. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be, and hoping Dad’s asleep,” Kurt says, standing up and joining Finn by the door. “You really think a blow job is that impersonal?” he asks once they’re outside.
Finn shrugs again. “Like I said, no experience, but from what Puck says, it sounds like it could be.”
“And what other pearls of sexual wisdom does Puck share?” Kurt asks, sounding skeptical again. He stops in front of the passenger door of the truck and waits.
“‘Always ask before you stick it in their butt’,” Finn recites. “Well, he said ‘ass’, but ‘butt’ sounds more polite.” He walks around to open the door for Kurt, who is obviously waiting on that, unless he’s just waiting on more Puck advice.
Kurt splutters a little as he climbs into the truck, and as soon as Finn is inside the truck as well, Kurt says, “I should think you should ask before you stick ‘it’ anywhere!”
“Well, yeah, but I think he meant if you already had permission to stick it somewhere to begin with,” Finn explains.
“Oh my god, I don’t even want to think about how much sex he’s had to come up with that,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “Let’s refocus. You think that getting a blow job from a guy would be just as enjoyable for you as getting one from a girl?”
“Puck says a mouth’s a mouth, especially if you close your eyes.”
Kurt waves his hand towards the window. “Not what Puck says. You think that?”
“He’d know, so I guess it’s gotta be true,” Finn says, as he starts driving towards home. “If there’s no kissing or anything, it’s not like it means you’re gay. I mean, not you-you. You’re gay. Just, like, general you.”
“Then why aren’t you and Puck trading blow jobs?” Kurt asks, laughing a little.
“Uh, ’cause giving one means you’re gay,” Finn says. “Duh.”
“Oh, yes, silly me,” Kurt says sarcastically. “I’m surprised that Puck would let something like that stop him. Or that neither of you have had the brilliant idea of asking me for one.”
Finn jerks the wheel a little too hard as he makes a lefthand turn. “No! I mean, that’s- you’re my brother, I wouldn’t!”
“Oh, so you would have last year?” Kurt says, and it’s not clear if he’s teasing or not. “That doesn’t explain Puck’s reluctance, either.”
“I told him he wasn’t allowed to ask you that!” Finn says.
“Oh my god!” Kurt says. “You two discussed it?”
“More like he said he should, and I told him that if he did, it’d be the last thing he ever asked anybody,” Finn says. “That was definitely not okay.”
“Oh my god,” Kurt repeats. “So let me make sure I have this right. If someone offers you a blow job, no matter who they are, you’ll accept it, but you and Puck are not allowed to ask me.”
“Well, nobody made a rule about me, but I made a rule about Puck, because come on. I wouldn’t say stuff like that about his sister, even if she was in high school,” Finn says, pulling into their driveway. “That’s just not the kind of stuff you say to people.”
“And what would you have done if I had offered to blow Puck?”
Finn turns off the truck a little more aggressively than he means to. “Why would you offer to blow Puck?”
“I didn’t say I would. I just want to know what would happen,” Kurt says calmly.
“I guess I’d just hope that neither one of you ever told me!”
“What if I did, though?”
“Then I guess I’d hope he’d be smart enough to say no,” Finn says. “Are you bringing that in?” he asks, pointing at the discarded prom queen crown on the floorboard near Kurt’s feet. Concern and changing the subject can look a lot alike if they’re timed correctly.
“No,” Kurt says. “Dad might see it. I should have thrown it away at Dairy Queen, if you’re not going to take it to Quinn. Maybe you should go have breakfast at Burger King in the morning and throw it out there.”
“Okay. Just kick it under the seat before you get out,” Finn says. “If Burt or Mom see it, I’ll say it’s Quinn’s.”
“Right,” Kurt says, nodding a little and kicking the crown under the seat, probably harder than necessary. “I find this fascinating. So if that’s what happens if I offer to blow Puck, what happens if I offered to blow you?”
“But you wouldn’t, so it’s a non-issue,” Finn insists, walking quickly towards the front door, not looking back at Kurt.
“I think I deserve to know the answer!” Kurt says as he follows Finn. “You said earlier that it didn’t matter who it was from.”
“But then I said you were my brother.”
“Which one is the higher priority?” Kurt sounds like he’s teasing, probably, but he sounds a little bit serious, too. “Brother or blow job?”
“Well, you wouldn’t offer, because you’re my brother, and I’d have to say no, because you’re my brother,” Finn says. “That’s not a fair question.”
“Hmm,” Kurt says quietly as they enter the house. He doesn’t say anything as they tiptoe in and up the stairs, but he pulls Finn into his room. “But what if I decided blow job was a higher priority?” he asks, taking off his jacket and then disappearing into the bathroom, the door cracked enough that they can still talk.
“I’d feel like I was breaking some kind of law or something,” Finn admits. “Brother laws.”
“As we’re actually non-biological stepbrothers, Finn, no laws apply,” Kurt calls through the bathroom door.
“Oh,” Finn says, because he hadn’t actually considered that. “Then, I guess there wouldn’t be any reason to turn it down.”
“So did you want one?” Kurt says, still talking through the cracked bathroom door.
“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t want a blow job, right?” Finn says. “Other than Artie.”
“You’re probably overdressed, then.”
“Yeah, probably, since I still have the tux- oh. Ohhhh. You mean like, for real, now, you and me?” Finn manages to squeak out. “For real?”
“I did just ask,” Kurt’s voice says, and the water runs briefly before being shut off.
“I didn’t really realize that was what you were asking! I thought you meant, like, hyperactively!”
“I haven’t had that much caffeine, and does that mean the answer’s not yes?” Kurt sounds almost disappointed.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t yes,” Finn says.
The door to the bathroom opens, and Kurt leans against the doorframe, now dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt. “Yes or no, Finn.”
“Yes,” Finn says quickly.
“Then take off the bowtie, the jacket, and the cumberbund,” Kurt says, walking into the room and sitting on the edge of his bed. Finn immediately takes off the items Kurt listed, letting them fall onto the floor.
“Okay,” Finn says. “Now what?”
“Now, um. Come here,” Kurt says, gesturing with one finger. Finn walks towards Kurt and stops in front of him. Kurt nods a little, shifting on the bed, and he puts his hand on Finn’s pants. “Answer’s still yes?”
“Yes,” Finn says, and Kurt unzips Finn’s pants, sliding one hand into Finn’s boxers and pulling out Finn’s dick. Finn’s heart starts to pound, his mouth feeling suddenly dry. “Maybe… maybe Puck was wrong,” he barely whispers. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe- oh, oh, oh my god, Kurt!” he finishes, because Kurt wraps his hand around the base of Finn’s dick and puts his mouth over the head of it at the same time.
Wrong feels a whole lot like right, so Finn stops talking, letting his hands rest on Kurt’s shoulders while Kurt runs his tongue over Finn’s dick and starts sucking on it, moving his lips up and down Finn’s dick a little. Finn’s really not sure how he’s going to manage to stay on his feet through this, other than the fact that if he falls over, the blow job stops, and that’s enough motivation to stay upright.
“Oh my god, this is seriously better than anything,” Finn says, his words turning into a sort of embarrassing moan at the end as he tightens his grip on Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt’s eyes are closed, but he must not mind the moan, because he moves faster, and his hand starts moving up Finn’s dick when his lips move down.
Finn looks down at Kurt and thinks that Puck is wrong, in that this definitely feels pretty gay, but also that it doesn’t matter how gay it feels, because what it feels like the most is just plain awesome. Finn moves one of his hands to the back of Kurt’s head, feeling it move as Kurt sucks on him.
Kurt moves, sitting even closer to the edge of the bed, and his lips slip down further than before. Kurt pauses, and his mouth seems to open a little wider as he gets his mouth closer to his hand, and he gags just a little before backing up slightly. Finn keeps watching Kurt’s mouth slide up and down his dick, and while the best part of all of this is how great it feels, the second best part might be how awesome Kurt’s mouth looks, the way his lips are wrapped around Finn’s dick like that.
“Wow, that is so awesome, Kurt,” Finn breathes. “That looks so hot. That’s so- I’m gonna come in like thirty seconds or something, Kurt, oh my god.” Finn’s fingers push into Kurt’s hair and hold it, not too tight, and Kurt moves his mouth lower again, which means he gags around Finn again.
Finn barely manages to whine an “oh shit” and then he’s coming, hand tightening in Kurt’s hair. Kurt keeps sucking for a few seconds before he starts choking and coughing, and he pulls back with some of Finn’s come smeared across his chin and lips.
“Oh crap, are you okay?” Finn asks. “Did I kill you? I am so sorry!”
Kurt shakes his head, waving one hand at Finn while he coughs a few more times, then wipes at his chin. He only succeeds in smearing the come across his face, but he drops his arm. “I’m fine,” he says, his voice thick.
“Here, you’ve got some…” Finn swipes his thumb across Kurt’s face once to clean it, then wipes his thumb on his tuxedo pants. “There. That’s-” He stops abruptly when it all sinks in, that he’s standing there with his dick hanging out of his pants, wiping his come off another guy’s face, and he’s just really not sure what to do with all of that information.
Kurt blinks a few times, then scoots back on his bed, sitting cross-legged. “Was Puck right?” he asks. “It wasn’t at all gay?”
Finn feels himself blushing as he awkwardly tucks himself back into his pants, zipping them with clumsy hands. “No, it was pretty damn gay,” he mumbles quietly.
“I’ll cancel my plans to call Brittany, then,” Kurt says dryly, and he looks almost directly at Finn. “You might want to warn Puck.”
“I don’t think I’m going to say anything about this to Puck,” Finn says. He can’t quite bring himself to meet Kurt’s eyes. “Should I- maybe I should just-” He waves his hand in the direction of the door. “Do you want me to go?”
“It’s up to you,” Kurt says. “I had planned on staying up tonight and watching Pretty in Pink, if you’d like to join me.”
“Do you want me to stay?” Finn asks. “Do you want, I don’t know. Something else?”
“I don’t think I’m ready for a repeat performance just yet,” Kurt says, still not looking directly at Finn. “What did you have in mind?”
“No. I don’t know. Just, like…” Finn shuffles foot to foot. “Something for you? You know?”
“I’m pretty sure all of those things qualify also as ‘pretty damn gay’,” Kurt says.
“Well, I mean, if you don’t want anything, that’s cool,” Finn says, sort of babbling, “but nobody has to know, and if we were already doing something pretty damn gay, then maybe, I don’t know. Maybe you wanted something else?”
“I wouldn’t object,” Kurt says slowly. “What are you comfortable with?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, probably, but I’ll do it anyway, if you want,” Finn says.
“Would you rather reciprocate or use your hands?” Kurt asks.
Finn blushes again. “Uh. Hands, probably?” he says, feeling more than a little uncertain. Kurt nods, almost like he was expecting that answer, and he lies back before sliding his pajama pants down, leaving them around his knees. Finn sits down on the edge of the bed next to Kurt, holding his hand out in Kurt’s direction, and maybe it shakes a little, but Finn doesn’t let himself pull it back.
Kurt takes Finn’s hand in his and slowly moves it towards Kurt’s dick, putting Finn’s palm on it and then wrapping Finn’s fingers around it before moving his hand away. “Good lord, your hand’s huge,” Kurt says softly.
Finn surprises himself by laughing, then surprises himself more when he moves his hand a little, sliding it just a little bit down Kurt’s dick. It’s not so bad. It’s kind of nice, really, the way Finn’s hand covers almost all of Kurt’s dick, and the way Kurt squeaks when Finn moves his hand.
“Is this cool?” Finn asks.
“Yes,” Kurt says quickly, nodding. “You can experiment? If you want to. I guess it’s sort of like jerking yourself off.”
“I think I might already kind of be experimenting,” Finn says, though he does try to move his hand sort of like he does when he jerks himself off. It’s a little different, because of the angle and that fact that his hand covers more of Kurt than it does of himself, but it’s also a lot the same.
Kurt laughs softly. “Fair enough,” he says, and he rolls a little onto his side, towards Finn. “Maybe it’s not too much like jerking yourself off, though,” he mutters.
“I think they’re a little alike,” Finn says, “but not all the way alike.”
“No, definitely not all the way alike,” Kurt agrees, making more of the little squeaking sounds as Finn’s hand moves on his dick. “I, um, would you… would you kiss me?”
“Oh.” Kissing a guy hadn’t really been part of Finn’s plan, but neither had jerking a guy off, and if he’s already firmly in the pretty damn gay territory, he may as well cross the line into really damn gay, even if it’s just for the night. “Okay,” he says, leaning down, his chest touching Kurt’s as he gently kisses Kurt’s lips.
Kurt moves towards Finn, one hand resting on Finn’s side, and he kisses Finn back firmly, still squeaking a little. Finn kisses harder, nudging Kurt’s mouth open, and it’s a good kiss. It feels great, and Finn enjoys it, whatever that means. He continues kissing Kurt and jerking him off slowly and deliberately, because screw really damn gay, this is full on gay, and that’s cool, too. Kurt kisses harder, his mouth opening wider, and his hand moves down Finn’s side before sliding to the front of Finn’s pants.
Finn breaks away, breathing heavily. “You don’t have to,” he says. “You already-”
“I know I don’t have to,” Kurt says as he’s unzipping Finn’s pants and sliding his hand into Finn’s boxers. His fingers wrap around Finn’s dick, and he starts kissing Finn again. Finn realizes he had already been hard again before Kurt’s hand got anywhere near his zipper, and once again, he’s not really sure what that means, other than it feels good when Kurt touches him, and it feels good to kiss him, and it feels good to jerk Kurt off, too.
Kurt’s hand moves slowly at first, and then faster as he pushes his tongue into Finn’s mouth and his hips start pushing against Finn’s hand. He lets out a few more squeaks, then starts to come, the only part of his body still moving his hand on Finn’s dick. Finn’s eyes widen, and he glances down at Kurt’s dick, Finn’s fingers still wrapped around it.
“Oh my god,” Finn murmurs, sort of muffled because of Kurt’s mouth on his.
“Hmm?” Kurt says, his hand moving faster on Finn’s dick.
“I made you come,” Finn says softly. “I jerked you off and made you come.”
“Mmmhmm,” Kurt says, nodding, and his fingers tighten slightly.
“And you’re- oh my god- you’re gonna make me come again, too,” Finn says. What Kurt’s doing feels awesome, but it’s also messing with Finn’s head, more than a little, how much he likes it, how hot it was to make Kurt come like that. “Kurt, I don’t- oh, oh shit, okay, yeah, don’t stop, don’t stop,” he chants, his hips moving without any conscious effort on Finn’s part, pushing his dick up through the tight circle of Kurt’s hand. “Kurt, shit, Kurt, I’m gonna come, okay?”
“I know,” Kurt murmurs, and he kisses Finn again, like he can’t make himself stop. He’s still kissing Finn when Finn starts to come, harder than he thought he would, consider it wasn’t that long ago that Kurt gave him the blow job. Kurt slowly pulls away, moving his hand at the same time and then looking around the room. “Hang on,” he says quietly, moving off the bed quickly, then coming back with a box of tissues, which he offers first to Finn.
Finn takes a tissue and wipes off his hand, then his dick, which he tucks back into his boxers after. “Thanks,” he says.
“You’re welcome,” Kurt says with a smile as he wipes himself off, then pulls his pajama pants back up. “Did you want to watch that movie with me?”
“Uh. Yeah, sure. I might go put pajamas on instead of most of a tuxedo, though,” Finn says.
Kurt nods. “I can set up the movie while you do that.”
“Okay,” Finn says. He stands up and walks to Kurt’s door, picking up his jacket and tie and cummerbund on the way, then walks through it and to his own room, and it’s not exactly like he’s running away from what just happened, but it’s definitely a little like it. He leans against his closed door, breathing heavily, and replaying everything in his head. Part of him feels scared, almost to the point of feeling sick, but another part of him really enjoys the mental playback. “You need to cooperate!” Finn whispers to his dick, which is apparently on the list of parts of him that enjoy the mental playback. “You’re done for tonight. Stop having fun!”
When that doesn’t work, Finn settles for his old mailman standby, which surprisingly doesn’t work as well as it normally does. Finn is at least able to get the tuxedo off and pajamas on, and if he’s still a little hard when he walks back across the hall to Kurt’s room, at least he can hope the baggy flannel pants will hide it a little.
“Hey,” Finn says. “Is the movie ready?”
Kurt nods and tosses something at Finn. “It’s all queued up.”
Finn looks down at what he caught. “Oh. Thanks for the candy,” he says. He lies down on the bed next to Kurt, close but not too close, and unwraps the Milky Way Kurt threw him.
“I have some stashed away,” Kurt explains. “You didn’t miss it when you searched the kitchen.”
“Oh, good. I’d hate to think I missed the candy stash,” Finn says. “So, what’re we watching, again?”
“Pretty in Pink,” Kurt says as he hits play. “It has prom in it, and it’s a classic.”
Finn nods silently as the movie starts. Tomorrow, he has to go back to being not even a little bit gay, because that’s just how it has to be, but tonight he can just eat his candy, watch the movie, and enjoy how good he feels right now.
Also on Ao3
Author(s): watchforwalkers & coincidental_penalties
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst/romance
Warnings: Past Finn/Quinn, Past Kurt/Blaine (neither appear in the fic for more than a glance, portrayal only mildly negative)
Spoilers: Through 2x20
Word Count: 7846
Summary: On the night of junior prom, Kurt is crowned prom queen and runs out of the gym into the hallway. Instead of Blaine following him, Kurt instead runs straight into Finn-literally-and changes the course of both their relationships.
After Finn gets kicked out of the prom, he's left in the hallway with the orders to go to the bathroom to ‘soak that hot head’, and to wait out there for his date. Finn does stick his head under the water in the bathroom sink, but even with his hair still dripping down his face and onto his rented tuxedo, he doesn’t feel cooled off. Not at all.
He spends the next few minutes pacing up and down the hallway, giving a few lockers a good kick on the way, maybe not-so-secretly hoping someone will hear the noise and come try to get into it with him. Finn’s still spoiling for a fight.
One of the gym doors slams open, then shuts again with a loud clatter, followed by the sound of one person running through the halls, coming closer to Finn. Finn turns around to see who it is-maybe somebody he can throw down with-just in time for someone to barrel straight into Finn’s chest, bouncing off him and landing on the floor.
Finn says “Oof!” and then realizes it’s Kurt on the floor, his legs sprawling as he starts to sit up, grimacing. There are some tears running down his cheeks, too, and he looks over his shoulder expectantly, then sags a little as he finishes climbing to his feet.
“Finn?” he says, his voice sounding oddly hollow. “What are you doing out here?”
“I got kicked out for trying to punch Jesse St. James,” Finn says. “What are you doing out here?” He offers Kurt his hand. “And why are you upset?”
“They-” Kurt breaks off, taking Finn’s hand and looking behind him again. “They wrote my name in. For prom queen.”
“Who?” Finn asks, as he pulls Kurt up onto his feet.
“I don’t know. People. Enough people,” Kurt says, and a few more tears slide down his face. “Enough people that their ‘extensive write in campaign’ propelled me to victory,” he says bitterly.
“That’s terrible. How did they let that happen? How did Principal Figgins let that happen?” Finn pats his hands down Kurt’s back, because comforting somebody kind of awkwardly can also look a lot like helping them dust off after being on the floor, and Finn’ll let Kurt decide which of those two things he needs it to be.
“I don’t know,” Kurt says, shaking his head and leaning forward, into Finn’s chest, almost like he can’t hold himself up. “Why do they hate me that much, Finn?”
Finn puts his arm around Kurt, because hugging somebody and helping them steady themselves on their feet can look a lot alike, too. “I don’t know, Kurt. I don’t understand it, either.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Kurt admits. “Should I leave? Should I go back in there? Everyone was silent. No one said anything.”
“Where’s Blaine? Is he coming out here for you?”
Kurt looks over his shoulder again, then shakes his head. “I guess not,” he says sadly. “He didn’t really want to come tonight. Everyone here proved him right, he’ll probably say.”
“I still think you look great,” Finn insists. “Do you want to go back in there? If you want to go, I’ll go with you. They can just try to kick me out again.”
Kurt doesn’t answer for a few moments, looking towards the gym, then at Finn, before squaring his shoulders in a way that looks a lot like how Burt would and nodding. “I should. I should go back in, and I should accept the crown, and I should dance with-” Kurt cuts himself off and frowns again. “With someone. Maybe Blaine. Not the prom king.”
“Who is the prom king?” Finn asks. “Not me, I’m guessing?”
“David Karofsky,” Kurt says simply, turning and starting to walk towards the gym.
“David Ka- Kurt!” Finn says, starting to walking after him. “You are definitely not dancing with Karofsky!”
“It probably would not be the best idea, I agree,” Kurt says, nodding once. “I’ll see if Blaine is willing to dance. If not, I’m sure Mercedes would dance with me.”
“Too bad I didn’t win, I guess,” Finn says. “I would’ve danced with you. Hell, I’ll still dance with you, if you want. Wouldn’t be the first time, right? And this way we’re not wasting all that practice from before!”
Kurt smiles a little at that, wiping at his eyes and stopping in front of the gym door. “It would be better than Mercedes, wouldn’t it? I appreciate the offer, Finn,” he says, then reaches for the door with a deep breath.
Once Kurt pulls the door open, Finn reaches over him and catches the edge of the door. “If nothing else, you might get to watch me get kicked out again,” Finn says.
“I somehow suspect they’ve forgotten you were kicked out,” Kurt mutters, then turns to face the silent gym. Kurt walks up to the stage, head held high, and he takes the crown from Principal Figgins before putting it on his own head and stepping towards the microphone. “Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton.”
Finn isn’t sure who Kate Middleton is-maybe some girl who was running for prom queen-but whoever she is, she couldn’t have done a better job accepting that crown. Most of the people in the crowd start to applaud, though a few don’t, and Finn makes a point of studying every single non-clapper’s face so he can remember them later. As he glares at a pair of non-clapping guys along the far wall, he notices Blaine slipping out the door on that side.
Kurt turns to Karofsky and whispers something before looking back at the crowd and Finn, and Karofsky leaves the stage, walking over to Santana. Kurt makes eye contact with Finn and raises his eyebrow questioningly, then looks around, like he isn’t sure where Blaine is. Finn shrugs, because he can’t exactly communicate ‘your boyfriend slunk out like a weasel’ from this far away.
Since it’s obvious Kurt and Karofsky are definitely not going to dance, though, Finn starts making his way towards Kurt. Before he can get very far, though, he’s intercepted by Coach Sylvester.
“Oversized damp loser! You didn’t win prom king, and even if you had, you’re still not allowed back in this dance!” she says, pointing towards the door.
“Yeah, well you and the other people in charge at this school just let my brother be elected prom queen,” Finn says, taking another step towards Kurt. “So now I’m going over there to dance with him, because I think he’s already been embarrassed enough tonight, without not getting to dance, don’t you think?”
“I am only responsible for prom security, not prom elections,” Coach Sylvester says. “Porcelain’s possible embarrassment is not my concern, but your predilection for beginning fights is.”
“Well, when Burt finds out what happened here, it’s all going to be everybody’s concern,” Finn says. Coach Sylvester opens her mouth to respond, then shuts it, scowling and glaring at Finn before pointing towards Kurt. Finn nods and hurries over to Kurt. “Hey,” he says, once he’s there. “Guess I’m not getting kicked out again yet.”
“That’s good,” Kurt says, sounding a little bit distracted. “Did Blaine- did he leave?” he asks, even as he’s taking Finn’s hand and getting in position to dance.
“I didn’t see him,” Finn says, because he’s not going to be the one to tell him about the slinking away. “Sorry.”
Kurt sighs. “It’s not your fault,” he says, plastering on his fake smile as they dance. “Why did anyone think this was a good song for right now?” he mutters through the fake smile as ‘Dancing Queen’ plays.
“Yeah, this is the worst song ever,” Finn agrees. He keeps a good grip on Kurt’s hand and waist while they dance, and also keeps a good watch on the people dancing around them, just in case someone makes a face they shouldn’t be making in Kurt’s direction.
Kurt doesn’t say anything else during the song, just keeps smiling his fake smile until it finally stops. “Thank you,” he says quietly to Finn, then just as he’s releasing Finn’s hand and stepping away, he frowns again suddenly. “Oh, for- dammit!”
“What? Did I step on you foot?”
“No, no,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “It’s just that Blaine drove.”
“Oh. Well, I drove, too,” Finn says. “Did you want to ride home with me?”
“I think I’d prefer it to walking, yes,” Kurt says, then winces. “I didn’t mean to sound quite so bitter.” He stares at the door. “Can we do that now?”
“Sure. I think that Sylvester’s probably going to come kick me out now that we’re done dancing, anyway,” Finn says. He holds his elbow out a little, so if Kurt wants to think Finn’s offering him an arm, he can, though Finn is otherwise prepared to just say he feels like standing like a cowboy. Kurt does take Finn’s arm, which is good, since arm-offering and being a cowboy don’t really look a lot alike, and Kurt walks towards the door without looking anywhere except straight ahead.
It isn’t until they’re outside the gym and the school itself that Kurt seems to deflate a little, and he turns to Finn with a slightly wild look in his eyes. “We can’t tell Dad!”
“Oh, yeah, definitely not!” Finn says. “I won’t tell him anything!”
“We can’t let him check the school website or any other news!” Kurt continues, looking more panicked. “He might try to make me go back to Dalton, and I definitely can’t go back now, not if Blaine left in the middle of prom!” He stops in the middle of the parking lot, turning in his place, and then he nods sort of slowly. “Do you think… should I assume that’s a break up?”
“No, I’m sure it’s not that ,” Finn says, though he’s actually a lot more sure that it kind of is that.
“He hasn’t called or texted,” Kurt says, biting on his lower lip and then looking up at Finn. “Wouldn’t he have done something if it wasn’t supposed to be a break up?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he was worried or scared or something,” Finn says. He wishes that were true for Kurt’s sake, but Blaine’s version of ‘worried or scared’ looked a lot like a break up from where Finn was standing.
“Maybe,” Kurt says disbelieving, and he stares at his completely silent phone for a few moments before sighing. “Let’s just go home. Or let’s get some ice cream, and then go home.”
“Sure,” Finn says. “Come on. I’ll even buy yours for you.” He opens the passenger door of his truck for Kurt, and once Kurt is inside, Finn walks around to the driver’s side and gets in.
“The Dairy Queen’s probably closest,” Kurt says, leaning against the door, and the crown is on the floor, looking more like it was thrown than anything else.
“Okay. Dairy Queen it is,” Finn says. Hopefully they’ll have better luck with Dairy Queen than prom queen, at least.
Kurt is quiet on the drive, and Finn doesn’t break the silence, just in case it’s something Kurt really needs. The drive isn’t far, and once Finn parks, they both get out and walk towards the door. Kurt still looks sad, so Finn sprints ahead of him just enough to beat him to the door, holding it open for Kurt to walk in. Kurt half-smiles at Finn as he walks in, nodding his head.
“Thank you,” he says quietly before going to the counter and ordering a large strawberry cheesecake blizzard. Finn orders a banana split, and when he sees Kurt trying to hide a smile, Finn starts ordering all kinds of extra toppings on it, brownie bites and all the different sauces, until he finally gets a laugh out of Kurt. “You do have to actually eat that!” Kurt says as he laughs.
"Do you doubt my ice cream eating powers?" Finn asks.
“I meant the taste, not the volume!” Kurt says. “How in the world is that going to taste?”
"Like a bowl full of awesome."
Kurt shakes his head, still laughing a little as they move to the side to wait for their orders. “If it tastes horrible, I’ll probably end up saying I told you so,” he says to Finn like he’s warning him.
"If it tastes horrible, you'll never know, because no way am I admitting that," Finn counters. "It'll be the best ice cream I ever had whether it is or not."
“I suppose my only hope of knowing is seeing if you ever order it again,” Kurt says, taking his blizzard from the worker with a very small smile.
"No way. I'm coming back tomorrow and getting the same thing, no matter what," Finn says, though when the worker slides the overloaded banana split across the counter to him, Finn has to force himself not to grimace at it, because it looks pretty disgusting.
“Ambitious of you,” Kurt says, taking a bite of his blizzard as they walk to sit down. He sits down with a heavy sigh and looks at Finn sadly. “I feel like a teen movie cliche, albeit a misgendered one.”
"Huh?" Finn asks. "I only understood about, like, half of that."
“You know, the hero of the story-in theory, that would be me, but usually it would be a heroine-seemingly has a good boyfriend and they’re happily attending the school dance when something humiliating happens, the boyfriend is revealed as a fiend, and the hero is left alone and dejected as a result,” Kurt says, stabbing at his blizzard with his spoon. “I’m not sure what you are, though. The witty sidekick?”
“Wait, so… like Carrie?”
“Nothing bloody happened to me, luckily, and as I said, I’m the wrong gender, but yes, close enough.” Kurt waves his spoon around in the air and sighs again. “I don’t really have one of those ‘long-time best friend’ roles filled, either. I’m apparently a bad teen movie.”
“I can be your long-time teen movie best friend, I guess,” Finn offers. “I kind of fail at being a good teen movie, too. I mean, I punched another girl’s date and got myself kicked out of prom.”
“Jesse St. James probably deserved to be punched, though perhaps not for the reasons you were punching him,” Kurt says thoughtfully. “But you’re correct. You’re also a bad teen movie. At least I’m not alone.”
“I mean, technically I didn’t punch him. I swung and missed,” Finn admits.
“Oh. That’s too bad.” Kurt sighs again, and he eats more of his blizzard before looking at Finn again. “Do you think it was my kilt?”
Finn shakes his head, because that much, at least, he knows. “Votes had to be in by Wednesday,” he tells Kurt. “Nobody knew you were going Braveheart-style.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good,” Kurt says. “In that case, I’m doubly glad I wore it, then.”
“But, hey! If you didn’t know they voted on Wednesday, that means you didn’t vote for me!” Finn says, shaking his spoon at Kurt. “You’re a traitor!”
“I asked around, and they said you couldn’t vote in one race and not the other,” Kurt says, not meeting Finn’s eyes. “I wasn’t allowed to skip voting for queen.”
“Who told you that? That’s not even true, traitor!”
Kurt sighs. “Fine. I found the entire exercise somewhat ridiculous, especially the way the girls were acting, so I abstained.”
“Well, I thought it was ridiculous how they acted, too, but now I’m the one with the girlfriend who didn’t win prom queen,” Finn says. He stirs some of his remaining ice cream creation, swirling it together so it’s all a pinky-brownish-grey. “Quinn is going to be so, so pissed at me.”
“You can take her the crown, if you’d like,” Kurt offers. “And the assurance that I would have much rather have seen her win.”
“I think that ship has already sailed,” Finn says, shaking his head sadly at the whole mess, and also at his mangled banana split, which actually looks a lot like this whole night feels.
“Well, the offer stands,” Kurt says. “I don’t intend to keep it, after all.”
“Maybe I should keep it,” Finn suggests. “I’ll wear it in on Monday and dare somebody to say something about my brother the prom queen.”
“Are you trying to get ejected from classes like you were the prom?” Kurt asks. “And do you think I should text Blaine?”
“Nope, that’s just bonus, and probably, yeah,” Finn says.
“What should I say?” Kurt pulls out his phone and stares at it. “I’ve never had anyone break up with me before. Or leave me at a public venue without a guaranteed means of getting home.”
“Well, do you want to be broken up?” Finn asks. “If you do, you just ask him for your stuff back, like any CDs you loaned him or whatever other stuff. If you don’t, you should probably ask him why he left, so if he has a good reason, he gets a chance to explain.”
“I don’t want him to have broken up with me, but it’s hard to interpret his actions in any other way,” Kurt says. “If he merely wanted to leave, he could have followed me into the hall and told me. Right?”
“Maybe just text him that you want to talk to him in person tomorrow,” Finn says. “If he brings your stuff without you asking, it’s over for sure.”
“Okay,” Kurt says with a small sigh, typing out a message before putting his phone down and looking at Finn suspiciously. “You’re being awfully understanding of Blaine leaving. Do you think he was right to leave?”
“What? No!” Finn says. “I guess I’m just thinking about how I got myself kicked out of prom, but then when I got back in, I didn’t even try to find Quinn or anything. I figure if Blaine’s a bad guy for what he did, then I am, too, and I kind of really don’t want to be a bad guy.”
“Are you wanting to break up with Quinn?” Kurt asks. “And I don’t think anyone is bad. It’s just… confusing.”
“But I chose Quinn over Rachel, kind of, so I wouldn’t want to break up with her or anything, right?” Finn asks, because Kurt might be a little right.
“You do realize that some people are single at times?” Kurt asks, looking a little sad about it. “You could want to break up with Quinn without it meaning you want to be with Rachel.”
“Yeah, but I’m the quarterback,” Finn protests. “The quarterback doesn’t ever have to be single.”
Kurt puts his head in his hands. “First of all, do you actually believe that part of the teen movie cliche?” he asks, his voice muffled by his hands still over his face. “And I didn’t say you had to be. I said you could be. And there are more than two girls at McKinley.”
“I don’t like to be single. It’s really lonely.”
“So the worst thing that can happen is being single?” Kurt asks, sounding incredulous, and he looks up from his hands at the end of the sentence. “I should have sent a different text, then!”
“Which text did you send?” Finn asks. “Was it the stuff back one?”
“Not exactly. I said that unless he did have a good explanation for disappearing and leaving me stranded, I wanted my stuff my back,” Kurt says with a sigh. “And as much as I have enjoyed having a boyfriend, you do realize being single isn’t the worst thing in the world?”
“No,” Finn says. “I mean, I don’t know. I haven’t ever really been single for very long, and it kind of sucked when I was.”
“I think I get to claim being the expert on being single, then,” Kurt says, looking huffy and exasperated.
“Well, do you like being single?”
“There are times that it’s disheartening, yes, but I can still have a full life when I’m single,” Kurt says after a few moments pass. “However, my dislike stems more from lack of options.”
“Well, maybe you’re just better than me,” Finn says. He sticks his spoon into what’s left of the banana split and pushes the bowl away. “I guess I’m just needier than you.”
Kurt waves his spoon in the air again. “Or you actually believe what you said about the quarterback.” He snorts. “It’s not like you’re going to actually marry your high school girlfriend or anything.”
Finn shrugs, too embarrassed to admit that that’s exactly what he thought would happen. “Yeah,” he says, which sounds a lot like he’s agreeing with Kurt.
“That said…” Kurt trails off into another sigh. “If you break up with Quinn and don’t get back together with Rachel, it’s still quite likely you wouldn’t be single for more than a week.”
“Yeah, I guess there are other Cheerios who’d want to go out with me,” Finn says. Kurt puts his spoon down and stares silently at Finn. “What?”
“Do you really think you have to be dating a Cheerio?” Kurt asks incredulously. “More than that, do you really feel like your life is sad and lacking if you don’t have a girl yelling at you? Because your girlfriends tend to yell at you a lot.”
“That’s what girlfriends do,” Finn explains. “You don’t know, because you don’t like girls.”
“No, that’s what Quinn and Rachel do,” Kurt insists. “Tina doesn’t yell at Mike. Brittany didn’t yell at Artie. Your mom doesn’t yell at my dad!”
“Maybe they yell in private,” Finn says, shrugging. “And Santana yelled at Puck, and so did Lauren.”
“Santana yells at everyone,” Kurt says dismissively, “and I think Puck gets off on being yelled at. Regardless, no. I’m also privy to information you are not privy to, and I can assure you my aforementioned examples do not yell in private.”
“Yeah, like they’d tell you if they did,” Finn says, shaking his head.
“Your mother wouldn’t,” Kurt says dryly, “but you wouldn’t believe the things I know.” He looks smug as he scrapes the bottom of his blizzard cup. “If you like being yelled at, that’s fine, Finn, but no, I’m quite sure that’s not a universal girlfriend duty.”
“Okay, smart guy, what are some of the things you know?” Finn asks. No point in
addressing whether he likes to be yelled at or not, since that’s just what happens.
“I can’t break a confidence!” Kurt says, looking scandalized. “You might tell Mike or Artie!”
“Then don’t use names,” Finn says. “Obviously.”
“Finn, you’d figure out who it was, even if I didn’t use names,” Kurt says patiently. “I was just making it easier on both of us.”
“Please? Just tell me one!”
“Mike and Tina almost broke up two months ago over St. Patrick’s Day,” Kurt says, pursing his lips in apparent disapproval of himself. “Mike hates being pinched but also took some kind of stand against wearing green.”
“Really?” Finn says. “That’s the best you can give me? That’s not even all that interesting! I thought I was getting something real here.”
“You didn’t specify what kind of information,” Kurt says primly, pushing his cup away from him. “As it turns out, most of our friends have rather pedestrian lives.”
“Come on,” Finn whines. “Just one interesting thing!”
“I didn’t know you had voyeuristic tendencies!” Kurt says.
“Huh? I just want some gossip, not that voy-thing!”
Kurt laughs, looking like he’s at least temporarily forgotten the rest of the evening’s events. “Artie won’t let Brittany give him a blowjob,” he blurts, then claps his hand over his mouth.
Finn grins. “See? That’s more what I was talking ab- wait, why? Like, why would anybody turn that down? I mean, I’m not, you know. From experience or anything. But still, why would you say no to that?”
“I have no idea.” Kurt shrugs. “Brittany has a wacky theory about yetis.”
“What do yetis have to do with- you know, never mind,” Finn says, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’d say no, even if the person offering had yeti theories.”
“Then you’re all set with Brittany,” Kurt says dryly. “There you go. Brittany’s single right now. You can date her. She’s a Cheerio and everything.”
“Yeah, but Brittany and Santana are kind of a set, and I can’t do the Santana thing again,” Finn says.
“Oh, so there is something worse than being single,” Kurt says triumphantly.
“Yeah. Santana.”
“But she’s a Cheerio, Finn,” Kurt says sweetly. “And you’d get a blow job from Brittany.”
“Which would probably be awesome, but Santana is Santana,” Finn counters. “Santana is like the only thing that would make me turn down a blow job.”
“So if a guy wanted to blow you, you’d be fine with that?” Kurt says skeptically.
Finn shrugs. “A blow job is a blow job, or that’s what Puck says, anyway. It’s not like kissing or having sex with somebody. Getting a blow job doesn’t say anything about somebody.”
“That’s quite a-” Kurt stops mid-sentence when his phone dings, and he pushes it across the table. “You look for me.”
Finn nods and picks up the phone. The message reads ‘maybe it’s best we take a break’, which is really all Finn needs to know. He sighs and slides the phone back towards Kurt.
“I think you’re getting your stuff back,” Finn says. “Sorry, Kurt.”
Kurt sighs and puts his phone away without looking at it. “I suspected as much. That doesn’t make it feel any better.”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry.” Kurt’s hand is still on the table, so Finn puts his hand on top of Kurt’s, patting it a few times. “You going to be okay?” Finn asks.
“Is it horrible that I don’t know what hurts more, the break up or the prom queen thing?” Kurt says, not looking directly at Finn. “I mean, it feels like the break up should hurt more, but it’s only been two months. I’ve gone to school with some of those people for twelve years.”
“I think it’s probably okay if both of them hurt,” Finn says. “I mean, not okay like it’s cool, but okay like it’s totally normal-sounding.”
Kurt nods slowly, still not looking at Finn, and he takes a few deep breaths before suddenly smiling and looking at Finn again. “We should go home now, and you can explain more about how getting a blow job doesn’t mean anything. Are you trying to tell me I should let Brittany blow me?”
Finn shrugs as he stands up. “I’m not telling you anything, but that way, you’d have had a blow job, at least.” He picks up Kurt’s empty blizzard cup and the remains of his own banana split monstrosity, chucking them both into the trash by the door. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be, and hoping Dad’s asleep,” Kurt says, standing up and joining Finn by the door. “You really think a blow job is that impersonal?” he asks once they’re outside.
Finn shrugs again. “Like I said, no experience, but from what Puck says, it sounds like it could be.”
“And what other pearls of sexual wisdom does Puck share?” Kurt asks, sounding skeptical again. He stops in front of the passenger door of the truck and waits.
“‘Always ask before you stick it in their butt’,” Finn recites. “Well, he said ‘ass’, but ‘butt’ sounds more polite.” He walks around to open the door for Kurt, who is obviously waiting on that, unless he’s just waiting on more Puck advice.
Kurt splutters a little as he climbs into the truck, and as soon as Finn is inside the truck as well, Kurt says, “I should think you should ask before you stick ‘it’ anywhere!”
“Well, yeah, but I think he meant if you already had permission to stick it somewhere to begin with,” Finn explains.
“Oh my god, I don’t even want to think about how much sex he’s had to come up with that,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “Let’s refocus. You think that getting a blow job from a guy would be just as enjoyable for you as getting one from a girl?”
“Puck says a mouth’s a mouth, especially if you close your eyes.”
Kurt waves his hand towards the window. “Not what Puck says. You think that?”
“He’d know, so I guess it’s gotta be true,” Finn says, as he starts driving towards home. “If there’s no kissing or anything, it’s not like it means you’re gay. I mean, not you-you. You’re gay. Just, like, general you.”
“Then why aren’t you and Puck trading blow jobs?” Kurt asks, laughing a little.
“Uh, ’cause giving one means you’re gay,” Finn says. “Duh.”
“Oh, yes, silly me,” Kurt says sarcastically. “I’m surprised that Puck would let something like that stop him. Or that neither of you have had the brilliant idea of asking me for one.”
Finn jerks the wheel a little too hard as he makes a lefthand turn. “No! I mean, that’s- you’re my brother, I wouldn’t!”
“Oh, so you would have last year?” Kurt says, and it’s not clear if he’s teasing or not. “That doesn’t explain Puck’s reluctance, either.”
“I told him he wasn’t allowed to ask you that!” Finn says.
“Oh my god!” Kurt says. “You two discussed it?”
“More like he said he should, and I told him that if he did, it’d be the last thing he ever asked anybody,” Finn says. “That was definitely not okay.”
“Oh my god,” Kurt repeats. “So let me make sure I have this right. If someone offers you a blow job, no matter who they are, you’ll accept it, but you and Puck are not allowed to ask me.”
“Well, nobody made a rule about me, but I made a rule about Puck, because come on. I wouldn’t say stuff like that about his sister, even if she was in high school,” Finn says, pulling into their driveway. “That’s just not the kind of stuff you say to people.”
“And what would you have done if I had offered to blow Puck?”
Finn turns off the truck a little more aggressively than he means to. “Why would you offer to blow Puck?”
“I didn’t say I would. I just want to know what would happen,” Kurt says calmly.
“I guess I’d just hope that neither one of you ever told me!”
“What if I did, though?”
“Then I guess I’d hope he’d be smart enough to say no,” Finn says. “Are you bringing that in?” he asks, pointing at the discarded prom queen crown on the floorboard near Kurt’s feet. Concern and changing the subject can look a lot alike if they’re timed correctly.
“No,” Kurt says. “Dad might see it. I should have thrown it away at Dairy Queen, if you’re not going to take it to Quinn. Maybe you should go have breakfast at Burger King in the morning and throw it out there.”
“Okay. Just kick it under the seat before you get out,” Finn says. “If Burt or Mom see it, I’ll say it’s Quinn’s.”
“Right,” Kurt says, nodding a little and kicking the crown under the seat, probably harder than necessary. “I find this fascinating. So if that’s what happens if I offer to blow Puck, what happens if I offered to blow you?”
“But you wouldn’t, so it’s a non-issue,” Finn insists, walking quickly towards the front door, not looking back at Kurt.
“I think I deserve to know the answer!” Kurt says as he follows Finn. “You said earlier that it didn’t matter who it was from.”
“But then I said you were my brother.”
“Which one is the higher priority?” Kurt sounds like he’s teasing, probably, but he sounds a little bit serious, too. “Brother or blow job?”
“Well, you wouldn’t offer, because you’re my brother, and I’d have to say no, because you’re my brother,” Finn says. “That’s not a fair question.”
“Hmm,” Kurt says quietly as they enter the house. He doesn’t say anything as they tiptoe in and up the stairs, but he pulls Finn into his room. “But what if I decided blow job was a higher priority?” he asks, taking off his jacket and then disappearing into the bathroom, the door cracked enough that they can still talk.
“I’d feel like I was breaking some kind of law or something,” Finn admits. “Brother laws.”
“As we’re actually non-biological stepbrothers, Finn, no laws apply,” Kurt calls through the bathroom door.
“Oh,” Finn says, because he hadn’t actually considered that. “Then, I guess there wouldn’t be any reason to turn it down.”
“So did you want one?” Kurt says, still talking through the cracked bathroom door.
“Yeah, I mean, who doesn’t want a blow job, right?” Finn says. “Other than Artie.”
“You’re probably overdressed, then.”
“Yeah, probably, since I still have the tux- oh. Ohhhh. You mean like, for real, now, you and me?” Finn manages to squeak out. “For real?”
“I did just ask,” Kurt’s voice says, and the water runs briefly before being shut off.
“I didn’t really realize that was what you were asking! I thought you meant, like, hyperactively!”
“I haven’t had that much caffeine, and does that mean the answer’s not yes?” Kurt sounds almost disappointed.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t yes,” Finn says.
The door to the bathroom opens, and Kurt leans against the doorframe, now dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt. “Yes or no, Finn.”
“Yes,” Finn says quickly.
“Then take off the bowtie, the jacket, and the cumberbund,” Kurt says, walking into the room and sitting on the edge of his bed. Finn immediately takes off the items Kurt listed, letting them fall onto the floor.
“Okay,” Finn says. “Now what?”
“Now, um. Come here,” Kurt says, gesturing with one finger. Finn walks towards Kurt and stops in front of him. Kurt nods a little, shifting on the bed, and he puts his hand on Finn’s pants. “Answer’s still yes?”
“Yes,” Finn says, and Kurt unzips Finn’s pants, sliding one hand into Finn’s boxers and pulling out Finn’s dick. Finn’s heart starts to pound, his mouth feeling suddenly dry. “Maybe… maybe Puck was wrong,” he barely whispers. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe- oh, oh, oh my god, Kurt!” he finishes, because Kurt wraps his hand around the base of Finn’s dick and puts his mouth over the head of it at the same time.
Wrong feels a whole lot like right, so Finn stops talking, letting his hands rest on Kurt’s shoulders while Kurt runs his tongue over Finn’s dick and starts sucking on it, moving his lips up and down Finn’s dick a little. Finn’s really not sure how he’s going to manage to stay on his feet through this, other than the fact that if he falls over, the blow job stops, and that’s enough motivation to stay upright.
“Oh my god, this is seriously better than anything,” Finn says, his words turning into a sort of embarrassing moan at the end as he tightens his grip on Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt’s eyes are closed, but he must not mind the moan, because he moves faster, and his hand starts moving up Finn’s dick when his lips move down.
Finn looks down at Kurt and thinks that Puck is wrong, in that this definitely feels pretty gay, but also that it doesn’t matter how gay it feels, because what it feels like the most is just plain awesome. Finn moves one of his hands to the back of Kurt’s head, feeling it move as Kurt sucks on him.
Kurt moves, sitting even closer to the edge of the bed, and his lips slip down further than before. Kurt pauses, and his mouth seems to open a little wider as he gets his mouth closer to his hand, and he gags just a little before backing up slightly. Finn keeps watching Kurt’s mouth slide up and down his dick, and while the best part of all of this is how great it feels, the second best part might be how awesome Kurt’s mouth looks, the way his lips are wrapped around Finn’s dick like that.
“Wow, that is so awesome, Kurt,” Finn breathes. “That looks so hot. That’s so- I’m gonna come in like thirty seconds or something, Kurt, oh my god.” Finn’s fingers push into Kurt’s hair and hold it, not too tight, and Kurt moves his mouth lower again, which means he gags around Finn again.
Finn barely manages to whine an “oh shit” and then he’s coming, hand tightening in Kurt’s hair. Kurt keeps sucking for a few seconds before he starts choking and coughing, and he pulls back with some of Finn’s come smeared across his chin and lips.
“Oh crap, are you okay?” Finn asks. “Did I kill you? I am so sorry!”
Kurt shakes his head, waving one hand at Finn while he coughs a few more times, then wipes at his chin. He only succeeds in smearing the come across his face, but he drops his arm. “I’m fine,” he says, his voice thick.
“Here, you’ve got some…” Finn swipes his thumb across Kurt’s face once to clean it, then wipes his thumb on his tuxedo pants. “There. That’s-” He stops abruptly when it all sinks in, that he’s standing there with his dick hanging out of his pants, wiping his come off another guy’s face, and he’s just really not sure what to do with all of that information.
Kurt blinks a few times, then scoots back on his bed, sitting cross-legged. “Was Puck right?” he asks. “It wasn’t at all gay?”
Finn feels himself blushing as he awkwardly tucks himself back into his pants, zipping them with clumsy hands. “No, it was pretty damn gay,” he mumbles quietly.
“I’ll cancel my plans to call Brittany, then,” Kurt says dryly, and he looks almost directly at Finn. “You might want to warn Puck.”
“I don’t think I’m going to say anything about this to Puck,” Finn says. He can’t quite bring himself to meet Kurt’s eyes. “Should I- maybe I should just-” He waves his hand in the direction of the door. “Do you want me to go?”
“It’s up to you,” Kurt says. “I had planned on staying up tonight and watching Pretty in Pink, if you’d like to join me.”
“Do you want me to stay?” Finn asks. “Do you want, I don’t know. Something else?”
“I don’t think I’m ready for a repeat performance just yet,” Kurt says, still not looking directly at Finn. “What did you have in mind?”
“No. I don’t know. Just, like…” Finn shuffles foot to foot. “Something for you? You know?”
“I’m pretty sure all of those things qualify also as ‘pretty damn gay’,” Kurt says.
“Well, I mean, if you don’t want anything, that’s cool,” Finn says, sort of babbling, “but nobody has to know, and if we were already doing something pretty damn gay, then maybe, I don’t know. Maybe you wanted something else?”
“I wouldn’t object,” Kurt says slowly. “What are you comfortable with?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, probably, but I’ll do it anyway, if you want,” Finn says.
“Would you rather reciprocate or use your hands?” Kurt asks.
Finn blushes again. “Uh. Hands, probably?” he says, feeling more than a little uncertain. Kurt nods, almost like he was expecting that answer, and he lies back before sliding his pajama pants down, leaving them around his knees. Finn sits down on the edge of the bed next to Kurt, holding his hand out in Kurt’s direction, and maybe it shakes a little, but Finn doesn’t let himself pull it back.
Kurt takes Finn’s hand in his and slowly moves it towards Kurt’s dick, putting Finn’s palm on it and then wrapping Finn’s fingers around it before moving his hand away. “Good lord, your hand’s huge,” Kurt says softly.
Finn surprises himself by laughing, then surprises himself more when he moves his hand a little, sliding it just a little bit down Kurt’s dick. It’s not so bad. It’s kind of nice, really, the way Finn’s hand covers almost all of Kurt’s dick, and the way Kurt squeaks when Finn moves his hand.
“Is this cool?” Finn asks.
“Yes,” Kurt says quickly, nodding. “You can experiment? If you want to. I guess it’s sort of like jerking yourself off.”
“I think I might already kind of be experimenting,” Finn says, though he does try to move his hand sort of like he does when he jerks himself off. It’s a little different, because of the angle and that fact that his hand covers more of Kurt than it does of himself, but it’s also a lot the same.
Kurt laughs softly. “Fair enough,” he says, and he rolls a little onto his side, towards Finn. “Maybe it’s not too much like jerking yourself off, though,” he mutters.
“I think they’re a little alike,” Finn says, “but not all the way alike.”
“No, definitely not all the way alike,” Kurt agrees, making more of the little squeaking sounds as Finn’s hand moves on his dick. “I, um, would you… would you kiss me?”
“Oh.” Kissing a guy hadn’t really been part of Finn’s plan, but neither had jerking a guy off, and if he’s already firmly in the pretty damn gay territory, he may as well cross the line into really damn gay, even if it’s just for the night. “Okay,” he says, leaning down, his chest touching Kurt’s as he gently kisses Kurt’s lips.
Kurt moves towards Finn, one hand resting on Finn’s side, and he kisses Finn back firmly, still squeaking a little. Finn kisses harder, nudging Kurt’s mouth open, and it’s a good kiss. It feels great, and Finn enjoys it, whatever that means. He continues kissing Kurt and jerking him off slowly and deliberately, because screw really damn gay, this is full on gay, and that’s cool, too. Kurt kisses harder, his mouth opening wider, and his hand moves down Finn’s side before sliding to the front of Finn’s pants.
Finn breaks away, breathing heavily. “You don’t have to,” he says. “You already-”
“I know I don’t have to,” Kurt says as he’s unzipping Finn’s pants and sliding his hand into Finn’s boxers. His fingers wrap around Finn’s dick, and he starts kissing Finn again. Finn realizes he had already been hard again before Kurt’s hand got anywhere near his zipper, and once again, he’s not really sure what that means, other than it feels good when Kurt touches him, and it feels good to kiss him, and it feels good to jerk Kurt off, too.
Kurt’s hand moves slowly at first, and then faster as he pushes his tongue into Finn’s mouth and his hips start pushing against Finn’s hand. He lets out a few more squeaks, then starts to come, the only part of his body still moving his hand on Finn’s dick. Finn’s eyes widen, and he glances down at Kurt’s dick, Finn’s fingers still wrapped around it.
“Oh my god,” Finn murmurs, sort of muffled because of Kurt’s mouth on his.
“Hmm?” Kurt says, his hand moving faster on Finn’s dick.
“I made you come,” Finn says softly. “I jerked you off and made you come.”
“Mmmhmm,” Kurt says, nodding, and his fingers tighten slightly.
“And you’re- oh my god- you’re gonna make me come again, too,” Finn says. What Kurt’s doing feels awesome, but it’s also messing with Finn’s head, more than a little, how much he likes it, how hot it was to make Kurt come like that. “Kurt, I don’t- oh, oh shit, okay, yeah, don’t stop, don’t stop,” he chants, his hips moving without any conscious effort on Finn’s part, pushing his dick up through the tight circle of Kurt’s hand. “Kurt, shit, Kurt, I’m gonna come, okay?”
“I know,” Kurt murmurs, and he kisses Finn again, like he can’t make himself stop. He’s still kissing Finn when Finn starts to come, harder than he thought he would, consider it wasn’t that long ago that Kurt gave him the blow job. Kurt slowly pulls away, moving his hand at the same time and then looking around the room. “Hang on,” he says quietly, moving off the bed quickly, then coming back with a box of tissues, which he offers first to Finn.
Finn takes a tissue and wipes off his hand, then his dick, which he tucks back into his boxers after. “Thanks,” he says.
“You’re welcome,” Kurt says with a smile as he wipes himself off, then pulls his pajama pants back up. “Did you want to watch that movie with me?”
“Uh. Yeah, sure. I might go put pajamas on instead of most of a tuxedo, though,” Finn says.
Kurt nods. “I can set up the movie while you do that.”
“Okay,” Finn says. He stands up and walks to Kurt’s door, picking up his jacket and tie and cummerbund on the way, then walks through it and to his own room, and it’s not exactly like he’s running away from what just happened, but it’s definitely a little like it. He leans against his closed door, breathing heavily, and replaying everything in his head. Part of him feels scared, almost to the point of feeling sick, but another part of him really enjoys the mental playback. “You need to cooperate!” Finn whispers to his dick, which is apparently on the list of parts of him that enjoy the mental playback. “You’re done for tonight. Stop having fun!”
When that doesn’t work, Finn settles for his old mailman standby, which surprisingly doesn’t work as well as it normally does. Finn is at least able to get the tuxedo off and pajamas on, and if he’s still a little hard when he walks back across the hall to Kurt’s room, at least he can hope the baggy flannel pants will hide it a little.
“Hey,” Finn says. “Is the movie ready?”
Kurt nods and tosses something at Finn. “It’s all queued up.”
Finn looks down at what he caught. “Oh. Thanks for the candy,” he says. He lies down on the bed next to Kurt, close but not too close, and unwraps the Milky Way Kurt threw him.
“I have some stashed away,” Kurt explains. “You didn’t miss it when you searched the kitchen.”
“Oh, good. I’d hate to think I missed the candy stash,” Finn says. “So, what’re we watching, again?”
“Pretty in Pink,” Kurt says as he hits play. “It has prom in it, and it’s a classic.”
Finn nods silently as the movie starts. Tomorrow, he has to go back to being not even a little bit gay, because that’s just how it has to be, but tonight he can just eat his candy, watch the movie, and enjoy how good he feels right now.
Also on Ao3