Fic: Bars & Bouncers (Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan)
Title: Bars & Bouncers
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“I’m telling you, this is a bad idea.” Reid complained. “And where did
everyone go?”
“Hotch had to pick up Jack, Prentiss had to leave early and J.J. had to be
somewhere else.” Morgan recounted. They were the only ones left in the table.
“And Garcia went somewhere with that bartender.”
“If everyone else got to leave early, why can’t we?”
“Because we came here to relax.” Morgan pushed a large pint closer to Reid.
“It’s not gonna kill you.”
“I’ve…. Been trying to cut down…. And I didn’t use that much alcohol in the first
place.” Reid glanced over Morgan’s shoulder, trying to spot Garcia.
“What are you looking at?” Morgan twisted his neck to see to the other
side of the pub.
“Garcia.”
“Since when are you two so close?”
“If she comes back, she’ll drag you to the dance floor, and I’ll get a break
from that pressuring.”
“I’m not pressuring you! I just want you to have a good time.”
“I’m having a good time, when were talking about something else.”
“Come on, I feel like a bad influence when you’re drinking a soda. And
one more thing.”
“What?”
“Nobody needs to drag me to the dance floor, especially not my very
own goddess.”
“Are you talking about me behind my back?” Garcia slouched down
to her seat.
“All the time.” Morgan grinned. “How was the bartender?”
“Very gay. It’s not fair. First you hook up with our little brainiac, and
then men who look like that guy want guys. Soooooo not fair.”
“Now that you’re here, would you tell him that he can’t come to a bar,
and spend the night drinking soda.”
“You can’t come to a bar, and spend the night drinking soda.”
“Thank you.”
“But I gotta admit there’s something weird about that sight of Reid
drinking….” Garcia mused.
“What?”
“It’s like watching a little kid playing with your condoms, thinking they
are balloons…”
“That comparison doesn`t make any sense.” Reid scoffed.
“How bout this: It makes me feel guilty.” Morgan leaned closer. “Just
like when I go to the dance floor, and you sit here looking like a lost kid.”
“I don’t look like that.”
“You do. What don’t you just come to dance with me?”
“I don’t dance. And that has nothing to do with drinking.”
“You danced slow ones with me.”
“Once.”
“More than once.” Morgan smirked and Reid blushed.
“Those other times were at home, they don’t count.”
“They count. Wait a sec.” Morgan leaped up and headed to the bar counter.
Little bit later he returned carrying a tray with three shot glasses. “All for
you, Pretty Boy.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“Yep. Now I’ll take my goddess for a little spin, and when I come back
I expect to see all those gone.”
“Morgan….” Reid groaned.
“When I come back, I’ll take you to the mensroom and take advantage
of you.”
“You suggest that every time we come here. Do you have any idea how
many bacterial infections you could pick up from a public-”
“Babe.” Morgan interrupted. “I’ll rephrase that. After that we can go home,
and I’ll ravish you on the kitchen table.”
“What’s the point? You’ll do that anyway.” Reid looked sincerely puzzled.
“Fine, you can ravish me on the kitchen table. You down those, I’ll be
right back.” He looked around. “Where’s my Dancing Queen?”
“She was here a minute ago…. I was wondering why she didn’t interrupt…”
“I’ll go find her, you know your task.” Morgan bounced to the dance floor.
----------------------------------------------
When Morgan helped Reid out of the cab an hour later, he had to put him leaning
against the wall, so that he could pay for the ride. Once the cab was gone, Morgan
grabbed Reid to a fireman’s hold and carried him inside.
“How the hell can you get so drunk from three shots?” Morgan complained.
“I’ve told you….I don’t have much head for al-c-c-c-cohol.” Reid slurred.
“And now we can’t go back to that ever again.”
“We cannnnnnn….”
“No we can’t. I can’t believe you tried to start a fight with the bouncer!”
“I wasn’t starting a fight. I just pointed out that his skull was very fascinating……
craniometrically speaking. It’s unusual to see a bra-a-a-a-achycephalic skull with
thin sphenoid’s and pronounced zeugmatics…..”
“Well, he didn’t take it as a compliment.” Morgan dumped Reid to the bed and
started pulling off his clothes. “I think it’s time to go to bed.”
“What about the kitchen table?”
“Not today.”
“You promised….”
“And you’re in no condition to do anything, we can try that tomorrow.”
“It’s not nice to break promises….”
“I’m not breaking it, I’m postponing it.”
“Come here….” Reid grabbed Morgan by his shirt and pulled him down to lay on
top of him. “I’m not that drunk.” His voice sounded totally normal and the slur
was gone.
“Wha-” Morgan blinked. “You were faking it! You fooled me!”
“Did you get the message behind this moral lesson?”
“I guess.....”
“No means no. And I don’t often say no to you, so you better listen when
I say it.”
“Okay, Pretty Boy.” Morgan chuckled.
“Good. Now take me to the kitchen.”
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Criminal Minds Main List
“I’m telling you, this is a bad idea.” Reid complained. “And where did
everyone go?”
“Hotch had to pick up Jack, Prentiss had to leave early and J.J. had to be
somewhere else.” Morgan recounted. They were the only ones left in the table.
“And Garcia went somewhere with that bartender.”
“If everyone else got to leave early, why can’t we?”
“Because we came here to relax.” Morgan pushed a large pint closer to Reid.
“It’s not gonna kill you.”
“I’ve…. Been trying to cut down…. And I didn’t use that much alcohol in the first
place.” Reid glanced over Morgan’s shoulder, trying to spot Garcia.
“What are you looking at?” Morgan twisted his neck to see to the other
side of the pub.
“Garcia.”
“Since when are you two so close?”
“If she comes back, she’ll drag you to the dance floor, and I’ll get a break
from that pressuring.”
“I’m not pressuring you! I just want you to have a good time.”
“I’m having a good time, when were talking about something else.”
“Come on, I feel like a bad influence when you’re drinking a soda. And
one more thing.”
“What?”
“Nobody needs to drag me to the dance floor, especially not my very
own goddess.”
“Are you talking about me behind my back?” Garcia slouched down
to her seat.
“All the time.” Morgan grinned. “How was the bartender?”
“Very gay. It’s not fair. First you hook up with our little brainiac, and
then men who look like that guy want guys. Soooooo not fair.”
“Now that you’re here, would you tell him that he can’t come to a bar,
and spend the night drinking soda.”
“You can’t come to a bar, and spend the night drinking soda.”
“Thank you.”
“But I gotta admit there’s something weird about that sight of Reid
drinking….” Garcia mused.
“What?”
“It’s like watching a little kid playing with your condoms, thinking they
are balloons…”
“That comparison doesn`t make any sense.” Reid scoffed.
“How bout this: It makes me feel guilty.” Morgan leaned closer. “Just
like when I go to the dance floor, and you sit here looking like a lost kid.”
“I don’t look like that.”
“You do. What don’t you just come to dance with me?”
“I don’t dance. And that has nothing to do with drinking.”
“You danced slow ones with me.”
“Once.”
“More than once.” Morgan smirked and Reid blushed.
“Those other times were at home, they don’t count.”
“They count. Wait a sec.” Morgan leaped up and headed to the bar counter.
Little bit later he returned carrying a tray with three shot glasses. “All for
you, Pretty Boy.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“Yep. Now I’ll take my goddess for a little spin, and when I come back
I expect to see all those gone.”
“Morgan….” Reid groaned.
“When I come back, I’ll take you to the mensroom and take advantage
of you.”
“You suggest that every time we come here. Do you have any idea how
many bacterial infections you could pick up from a public-”
“Babe.” Morgan interrupted. “I’ll rephrase that. After that we can go home,
and I’ll ravish you on the kitchen table.”
“What’s the point? You’ll do that anyway.” Reid looked sincerely puzzled.
“Fine, you can ravish me on the kitchen table. You down those, I’ll be
right back.” He looked around. “Where’s my Dancing Queen?”
“She was here a minute ago…. I was wondering why she didn’t interrupt…”
“I’ll go find her, you know your task.” Morgan bounced to the dance floor.
----------------------------------------------
When Morgan helped Reid out of the cab an hour later, he had to put him leaning
against the wall, so that he could pay for the ride. Once the cab was gone, Morgan
grabbed Reid to a fireman’s hold and carried him inside.
“How the hell can you get so drunk from three shots?” Morgan complained.
“I’ve told you….I don’t have much head for al-c-c-c-cohol.” Reid slurred.
“And now we can’t go back to that ever again.”
“We cannnnnnn….”
“No we can’t. I can’t believe you tried to start a fight with the bouncer!”
“I wasn’t starting a fight. I just pointed out that his skull was very fascinating……
craniometrically speaking. It’s unusual to see a bra-a-a-a-achycephalic skull with
thin sphenoid’s and pronounced zeugmatics…..”
“Well, he didn’t take it as a compliment.” Morgan dumped Reid to the bed and
started pulling off his clothes. “I think it’s time to go to bed.”
“What about the kitchen table?”
“Not today.”
“You promised….”
“And you’re in no condition to do anything, we can try that tomorrow.”
“It’s not nice to break promises….”
“I’m not breaking it, I’m postponing it.”
“Come here….” Reid grabbed Morgan by his shirt and pulled him down to lay on
top of him. “I’m not that drunk.” His voice sounded totally normal and the slur
was gone.
“Wha-” Morgan blinked. “You were faking it! You fooled me!”
“Did you get the message behind this moral lesson?”
“I guess.....”
“No means no. And I don’t often say no to you, so you better listen when
I say it.”
“Okay, Pretty Boy.” Morgan chuckled.
“Good. Now take me to the kitchen.”