(no subject)
Feeling like killing myself this Saturday night. I'm not sure what else I'm feeling I just blank out and fantasize about destroying everything, I can't find anything that would fully satisfy my rage, not even killing myself, so I won't do that just yet...
What do I do with this feeling? I want to be productive and keep my mind off of it, but I feel like if I try to talk to some e or do something I'll say or do things I will regret. There is only violence behind my deep stare, no elegant thoughts, just a hate filled mind. Collapsing my life.
I gotta do something to not feel right now. I'm gonna drink and smoke probably and then feel the same tomorrow. Hopefully my creativity is not dead and I can find a way out of this, I don't want to die really, but I'm not really living with the crushing weight of all my emotions.
What do I do with this feeling? I want to be productive and keep my mind off of it, but I feel like if I try to talk to some e or do something I'll say or do things I will regret. There is only violence behind my deep stare, no elegant thoughts, just a hate filled mind. Collapsing my life.
I gotta do something to not feel right now. I'm gonna drink and smoke probably and then feel the same tomorrow. Hopefully my creativity is not dead and I can find a way out of this, I don't want to die really, but I'm not really living with the crushing weight of all my emotions.