A Note on Side Effects
So I'm on a medication where the side effects are listed as dizziness and hot flashes. I have written to the company to amend this.
Side effects include:
1. Blurry vision making you wonder if you need glasses or if you're about to cry even though you have no idea why and then clears up suddenly making you think your mind has gone and lost itself.
2. Do not attempt to stand up quickly...or slowly...or even with the knowledge that you will most likely feel dizzy because you will still have three seconds of thinking the world sped up on the axis.
3. You will not have a regulated temperature for at least eight days after starting this medication.
4. Hot flashes will start in your thigh muscles and spread from there. No particular reason, we actually added that as a bonus just to fucking freak you out.
5. We will also warn you that this can cause a stroke. The issue is that most of the symptoms you have will happen even if you're not having a stroke. We will not tell you what the magic over-the-top symptom is that you should present to the emergency room for - that's a secret.
6. Your dogs will not understand hot flashes and will think you need furry covering through the winter. You will then push the boundaries for a human spontaneously combusting.
7. Your nuclear reactor-like wife will like to cuddle. Do not hit her. Calmly remove yourself from the bed and sit outside in a snowbank for ten minutes until the steam recedes.
8. Do not take this medication during the holiday season.
Side effects include:
1. Blurry vision making you wonder if you need glasses or if you're about to cry even though you have no idea why and then clears up suddenly making you think your mind has gone and lost itself.
2. Do not attempt to stand up quickly...or slowly...or even with the knowledge that you will most likely feel dizzy because you will still have three seconds of thinking the world sped up on the axis.
3. You will not have a regulated temperature for at least eight days after starting this medication.
4. Hot flashes will start in your thigh muscles and spread from there. No particular reason, we actually added that as a bonus just to fucking freak you out.
5. We will also warn you that this can cause a stroke. The issue is that most of the symptoms you have will happen even if you're not having a stroke. We will not tell you what the magic over-the-top symptom is that you should present to the emergency room for - that's a secret.
6. Your dogs will not understand hot flashes and will think you need furry covering through the winter. You will then push the boundaries for a human spontaneously combusting.
7. Your nuclear reactor-like wife will like to cuddle. Do not hit her. Calmly remove yourself from the bed and sit outside in a snowbank for ten minutes until the steam recedes.
8. Do not take this medication during the holiday season.