*sigh*
things have been well...rediculous since me and Kyle broke up lets just put it that way lol. Friday will be my first day off and to myself which i am SO looking forward too :)
So far this week has not been bad. I went over to Eric's yesterday, I'm still a little uneasy around him, but im slowly understanding why and everything. So last night he said he had a suprise for me, and i had NO idea what it was... so i just tried to kill some time, so we played Smackdown vs Raw for a bit, then he finally convinced me to go for a walk.. so once we get outta the house hes like, oh yeah its at my moms, i almost like froze in my steps lol... im thinking aint no fuckin way i wanna meet this kids mom yet lol, even though i was pretty sure he wouldnt do something like that, the rest of the walk was SO nerve racking. So we get there, and hes like.. its over there on the table, and i look over and theres, a dozen roses, and two other bouquets of flowers, at first i smiled i couldnt help it, it was so freakin sweet.. i mean i have gotten flowers before, valentines day... my birthday but not so randomly. So then i started to panic i guess and i got myself overwhelmed and i started crying... i dont know why i felt sad, or even why i cried but i did. He hugged me and for a few minutes i didnt even say anything... and then i started talking to him, i pretty much explained my dating situation for the past like year and a half, i also explained to him about my feelings, and i was so upfront and honest with him, even though it wasnt the same that he was feeling, id rather be honest and tell him how i truely feel, than to lie to him. I definately know this could be a good thing, once im ready for it, i was talking to everyone at work about it today, and they were all so happy for me, and thought he sounded so nice. I feel like im just stuck in a rut, and once i get unstuck all the uneasiness, and nerves will be fine..if only i knew just how to get unstuck..just what it is thats holding me back, making me uneasy.. it would make this process so much better lol. but hes willing to give me as much time as i need and any space that i would want, so that makes me feel better.. well im so sore, i can barely move my neck, my legs hurt and my head hurts like hell... yuck.. so im going to lay back down.. toodles :P
So far this week has not been bad. I went over to Eric's yesterday, I'm still a little uneasy around him, but im slowly understanding why and everything. So last night he said he had a suprise for me, and i had NO idea what it was... so i just tried to kill some time, so we played Smackdown vs Raw for a bit, then he finally convinced me to go for a walk.. so once we get outta the house hes like, oh yeah its at my moms, i almost like froze in my steps lol... im thinking aint no fuckin way i wanna meet this kids mom yet lol, even though i was pretty sure he wouldnt do something like that, the rest of the walk was SO nerve racking. So we get there, and hes like.. its over there on the table, and i look over and theres, a dozen roses, and two other bouquets of flowers, at first i smiled i couldnt help it, it was so freakin sweet.. i mean i have gotten flowers before, valentines day... my birthday but not so randomly. So then i started to panic i guess and i got myself overwhelmed and i started crying... i dont know why i felt sad, or even why i cried but i did. He hugged me and for a few minutes i didnt even say anything... and then i started talking to him, i pretty much explained my dating situation for the past like year and a half, i also explained to him about my feelings, and i was so upfront and honest with him, even though it wasnt the same that he was feeling, id rather be honest and tell him how i truely feel, than to lie to him. I definately know this could be a good thing, once im ready for it, i was talking to everyone at work about it today, and they were all so happy for me, and thought he sounded so nice. I feel like im just stuck in a rut, and once i get unstuck all the uneasiness, and nerves will be fine..if only i knew just how to get unstuck..just what it is thats holding me back, making me uneasy.. it would make this process so much better lol. but hes willing to give me as much time as i need and any space that i would want, so that makes me feel better.. well im so sore, i can barely move my neck, my legs hurt and my head hurts like hell... yuck.. so im going to lay back down.. toodles :P