It's been a long time
I recently had the idea to write a LiveJournal post as a sort of warm-up for working on my Summergen (which, as usual, I am writing at snail speed). But then there were too many decisions involved about what to say and how to write it and I got overwhelmed and ditched the idea. Somehow, right now is the time that I am pushing past these hangups. Probably because the action of writing this is currently functioning more as a procrastination method than a goal in and of itself. I am not thinking too hard. I am just writing.
I’ve been wanting to post more here for a while here. I think what really made me tangibly interested in trying to blog/LiveJournal again is that I liked reading things that I’d written. I liked that I’d put in thought and effort. I liked some of the shapes my words took. And I liked that those words made me feel more familiar with myself, because for me writing is discovery. I wrote a lot of entries during the pandemic. I’d completely forgotten about those entries. It was such a hard time. I’d almost forgotten that, too. I’m glad I wrote about it. My own experiences are amorphous things to me; I discover some perspective through writing.
I’ve been wanting to LiveJournal more since forever, but I have been very bad about following through. I am in general bad at following through when it comes to my own life and decisions. I forget things, I struggle to prioritize, I struggle to plan, I struggle to execute, I’m a little pile of struggle and sometimes awareness of this helps and sometimes it doesn’t. Maybe blogging more regularly would be really good for me. Or maybe it won’t. But, in any case, it certainly couldn’t hurt. I want to write every day, and I have not been doing that. But this is writing! Look at me go!
I know this has primarily been my Supernatural space, so let it be known that I am still intractably fond of Sam and Dean Winchester. kalliel and I watched 1x14 Nightmare today and that episode is such a delicious time. Midnight motel vacating aggressive motel theming infrared thermal scanner cleaning guns vision headaches wiping down fingerprints unexpected telekinesis sweat sheens upon sweat sheens a stellar guest cast freaked out Sam freaked out Dean worry deflection angst brothers what more could you want
I’ve been wanting to post more here for a while here. I think what really made me tangibly interested in trying to blog/LiveJournal again is that I liked reading things that I’d written. I liked that I’d put in thought and effort. I liked some of the shapes my words took. And I liked that those words made me feel more familiar with myself, because for me writing is discovery. I wrote a lot of entries during the pandemic. I’d completely forgotten about those entries. It was such a hard time. I’d almost forgotten that, too. I’m glad I wrote about it. My own experiences are amorphous things to me; I discover some perspective through writing.
I’ve been wanting to LiveJournal more since forever, but I have been very bad about following through. I am in general bad at following through when it comes to my own life and decisions. I forget things, I struggle to prioritize, I struggle to plan, I struggle to execute, I’m a little pile of struggle and sometimes awareness of this helps and sometimes it doesn’t. Maybe blogging more regularly would be really good for me. Or maybe it won’t. But, in any case, it certainly couldn’t hurt. I want to write every day, and I have not been doing that. But this is writing! Look at me go!
I know this has primarily been my Supernatural space, so let it be known that I am still intractably fond of Sam and Dean Winchester. kalliel and I watched 1x14 Nightmare today and that episode is such a delicious time. Midnight motel vacating aggressive motel theming infrared thermal scanner cleaning guns vision headaches wiping down fingerprints unexpected telekinesis sweat sheens upon sweat sheens a stellar guest cast freaked out Sam freaked out Dean worry deflection angst brothers what more could you want