17 August 1942
Daddy has left home and I don't know what to do. He's gone to live with Mrs Scalara who is his mistress and her daughter who is my sister. He wrote me a letter that said he would never abandon me, but hasn't he already abandoned me? Mrs Scalara's house is different from our house and she is different from Mummy, very different I think because it is her house that Melina and Dimity Ducas live in. I am nothing like them; I am like Mum, and Daddy has abandoned her. And he must prefer people like that or he wouldn't let my sister grow up there with them.
I haven't decided what to do about it all. There's a heap of dresses on my bed that Mummy bought me today, but that's not the answer. Meditation and prayer with Mummy was calming and strengthening; but it doesn't do anything. Or, no, it gives us the strength to endure and to act as God wishes, but it is only the first step, knowing His will and acting as its instrument are the next ones. But even Mummy seems to think that Daddy should be able to choose to live however he likes and she and we are the ones that must change ourselves to suit. And that does not seem right.
I haven't decided what to do about it all. There's a heap of dresses on my bed that Mummy bought me today, but that's not the answer. Meditation and prayer with Mummy was calming and strengthening; but it doesn't do anything. Or, no, it gives us the strength to endure and to act as God wishes, but it is only the first step, knowing His will and acting as its instrument are the next ones. But even Mummy seems to think that Daddy should be able to choose to live however he likes and she and we are the ones that must change ourselves to suit. And that does not seem right.