Christmas
It's hard for us here at Casa Colhoun. I feel a little guilty that it's the 23rd and I only have a wreath on the door up. No lights and no tree yet and I will only put them up for the benefit of my guests. It hasn't been the same since 2001, not without my Christmas nut here. There have been so many losses around this time of year for us, that Christmas Eve fills us with a dread, waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. Don't get me wrong, I still love my Christmas Carol and even saw a beautiful reading of it this past Friday. I will read my 45 year old pillow book of The Night Before Christmas over and over again to Bree before the holiday arrives. I will go to my mother-in-law's home and have Christmas Eve dinner with her and my famly. I will cook a holiday meal for our small family gathering and do it justice but my heart is just not in it. And it's not that I am a Scrooge. I don't turn my back on Christmas or think ill of the season. It just doesn't resonate with me anymore and that makes me sad.