Why is my journal in german?
I just realised that my livejournal is set in German. But only some things are German and other things aren't.
I'd like to make a new LJ because this one is from a million years ago and the name is retarded. I tryed to change just the name but I can't find anywhere to do that. Maybe I'm retarded. But if anyone less retarded than me knows how please let me know.
Still in Jersey. Growing more and more depressed as I near my time to leave. Been looking into possibly moving here sooner than planned. Who knows. The whole reason I was staying in Oklahoma was so that I could get school payed for but if I move here sooner I'll just join the ANG and I can get 100% tuition that way as well. Soooooooo it doesn't really make a differance. Plus I'd get an extra $250 a month anyway for training.
I thought I had my life figured out for a moment. Then it broke again. Maybe I'll always be broken. Is anyone out there really sure of themselves? Sure of what they want, what their dreams are, who they are, what they want from life, who they want to be with. Is tehre something wrong with me or is everyone this way? Maybe other people just figure out how to cope. But I can't. I can't pretend like everyone else.
I hate that I'm such a depressed person. It makes me feel horrible for all those who stay in touch with me. I'm so sick of myself that I can't imagine what they must think of me. Would I be better off if I pretended to be happy? Or maybe I'd be even more miserable.
I'm just sick of letting down the people I care aout because of my own insecurities and other misc. issues. I try not to but when you tie yourself with others lives its a bit hard not to. You plant roots in people and they plant roots in you. If you're infected your roots will infect the people you plant them in. And vice versa. Why am I talking about roots?
I'd like to make a new LJ because this one is from a million years ago and the name is retarded. I tryed to change just the name but I can't find anywhere to do that. Maybe I'm retarded. But if anyone less retarded than me knows how please let me know.
Still in Jersey. Growing more and more depressed as I near my time to leave. Been looking into possibly moving here sooner than planned. Who knows. The whole reason I was staying in Oklahoma was so that I could get school payed for but if I move here sooner I'll just join the ANG and I can get 100% tuition that way as well. Soooooooo it doesn't really make a differance. Plus I'd get an extra $250 a month anyway for training.
I thought I had my life figured out for a moment. Then it broke again. Maybe I'll always be broken. Is anyone out there really sure of themselves? Sure of what they want, what their dreams are, who they are, what they want from life, who they want to be with. Is tehre something wrong with me or is everyone this way? Maybe other people just figure out how to cope. But I can't. I can't pretend like everyone else.
I hate that I'm such a depressed person. It makes me feel horrible for all those who stay in touch with me. I'm so sick of myself that I can't imagine what they must think of me. Would I be better off if I pretended to be happy? Or maybe I'd be even more miserable.
I'm just sick of letting down the people I care aout because of my own insecurities and other misc. issues. I try not to but when you tie yourself with others lives its a bit hard not to. You plant roots in people and they plant roots in you. If you're infected your roots will infect the people you plant them in. And vice versa. Why am I talking about roots?