(no subject)
After writing that long-ass entry on polyamory, I came to another conclusion. Whatever it is that I feel for Morgan, it's about time I stopped waiting in line for him, and trying and hoping for something to happen. It's time I gathered up my pride and self-respect and got out from that waiting line. So I asked him to help me out with some tension and give me a backrub, because I definitely managed to tie myself into great big knots both mentally and physically after this weekend's introspection and could use some massage. While he did that I took the opportunity to talk to him, to tell him how I've been experiencing this. I didn't try to place any blame on him, and I did say that how we viewed things was probably very different. It was a pretty good talk (And a good massage), and I sort of hope that he might have learned something by it as well. That maybe there were something lacking in our communication. Though it seemed that he thought it was an issue about sex. Which it wasn't. Hopefully I got that point across. But, yeah. Good talk that ended it a tight and long hug before I left to take care of my laundry.
It feels pretty good, to have come to a solution to a situation that - while it didn't make me feel bad, exactly - did cause me to brood a bit.
Also, since Joel finally came back today, I got to talk to him about Insane M who is planning on visiting. He's cool about it too, and just laughed at me. I also talked to Alex and Joel about me not wanting them to feel like I've felt around Morgan, which caused more laughs. "Hanna, we know you! You've been completely honest from the start. Enjoy yourself!" Do I have the best girlfriend and boyfriend, or what?
It feels pretty good, to have come to a solution to a situation that - while it didn't make me feel bad, exactly - did cause me to brood a bit.
Also, since Joel finally came back today, I got to talk to him about Insane M who is planning on visiting. He's cool about it too, and just laughed at me. I also talked to Alex and Joel about me not wanting them to feel like I've felt around Morgan, which caused more laughs. "Hanna, we know you! You've been completely honest from the start. Enjoy yourself!" Do I have the best girlfriend and boyfriend, or what?