DGM: "Heart-deep"
A tragic discovery almost tears Allen and Lavi apart! But some things go beyond skin-deep.
Warnings: Some mild humorous craziness abounds, followed by fluff. Contains crackpot theories. Some spoilers up to the bloody windowsill in the 169th Night.
Written for apapazukamori, who wanted a fic about finding out who Lavi's father is.
.heart-deep.
Allen was, literally, the last person in the Order to find out about it. He was so literally the last person in the Order to find out about it that he actually found out from a Finder he had never met before.
It was his master's name that caught at his attention. "I'm sorry?" he asked the man behind him, turning away from Link. "Did you say..." His voice trailed off. There was still something so sensitive about the name, resented and raw and touching.
The man straightened, sitting almost at attention, his white coat falling sharply around him. "Oh-- The chief decided to deal with General Cross's personal effects. He had a will stored with the grand marshals..."
"Oh," Allen said numbly. "I didn't even know he had -- effects." He imagined a vault somewhere with a pack of cigarettes and a box of empty wine bottles. Would Komui take the man's debts into account before or after he distributed his belongings?
The Finder's expression eased, sympathetic. He had no idea what Allen was feeling. "Don't worry, Mister Walker. I heard that aside from a small settlement for his son, all of his effects were left to you."
Then the world froze, and stayed frozen for the next five hours until the bastard's bastard found him.
"His son?"
"His only known son," Link corrected clinically from the other side of the table. "And likely, if not for the Bookman's calling, no one would have known of him either."
Cross's son, he thought.
Lavi is Master's son.
"His son?" he asked. He was perfectly calm. Perhaps eerily calm.
Lavi jumped and went white. It was some time later. He didn't know how much later, but it was dark outside the window of Lavi's room. He didn't know how he'd gotten here or how he'd escaped Link, or how Lavi hadn't noticed him enter the room. He was apparently quite cunning when he was losing long periods of time.
"Holy shit Allen-- I didn't know," the redhead said quickly.
Redhead. He didn't even know any other redheads. How could he not have seen it before. "You didn't know."
"No! Gramps knew, but he never told me. I swear to god I'm totally innocent."
Allen considered these words slowly, turning them over. They made sense. Bookman was very fond of keeping his secrets, and it wasn't surprising that he kept them even from Lavi. The older boy had never been very specific about the details of his job, but Allen was certain that any emotional connections to the person he'd been before becoming Bookman Junior would be considered an annoyance. Why would Bookman have told him who he used to be when he hadn't even been allowed to keep his name?
Lavi took advantage of his silence, telling him reassuringly, "I'm just as surprised as you are." He stepped forward, stretching out his arms to embrace Allen.
And was met with a hand on his chest, holding him a few feet away. Allen eyed him suspiciously. That was what Cross would do. Move in for the 'reassuring' gesture and then 'casually' turn it into something more. Oh no, not gonna happen.
For a moment they stood there like that, and then Lavi said plaintively, "I haven't changed."
Slowly, Allen relaxed, admitted, "That's true." He studied Lavi for a long moment -- patently overdone hopeful expression aside, he was still the same person. And... that person had just learned that a man of his acquaintance, recently pronounced dead, was his father.
It was impossible not to relent in that context. "Sorry," he murmured, stepping forward to wrap his arms tightly around the taller youth, offering that small amount of support. "I was being selfish. I know -- this can't be easy for you, either."
Lavi let out a relieved breath and hugged him back. "Getting and losing a dad in one evening was definitely something I wasn't prepared for."
Allen smiled slightly. "Don't worry. Master wouldn't die so easily." You'd have to at least cut off his head and burn his remains, he thought darkly, but it didn't seem appropriate to say to the man's -- son. "In a few weeks I'm certain I'll be receiving an envelope stuffed full of his latest bills."
Lavi laughed, squeezing him a little. "Funny. I was going to say that to you."
"He's your father."
"He's your master. I don't even know the guy." He could feel Lavi's lips rustling his hair. "He's still yours."
Allen huffed out a breath. It was a ridiculous thing to say; it wasn't like his reaction was anything related to jealousy. He was reasonably certain that disgust was the opposite of jealousy, in fact. But he'd already decided to minimize his censuring of Lavi's newfound father, so...
He stepped forward, urging Lavi back a step, until they were close enough that he could tug them both down to the bed. Lavi followed, and he was grinning when Allen looked up at him. His hands slid lower to Allen's belt.
"Don't push your luck," Allen muttered darkly. He wasn't that okay with this yet.
Chastised, Lavi's hands withdrew and he just sprawled over the bedspread, sighing dramatically. Allen slid close against him and they curled up together, enjoying the silence, the comfort of one another's presence. The intimacy made it easier for the confused whirling of Allen's thoughts to slow, for him to center again.
"...what was your birth name?" Allen asked after a beat.
Lavi stiffened slightly, the fingers on Allen's shoulder ceasing their idle petting. "Where'd that come from?" he asked
Allen shook his head a little. It was a silly question, and unimportant. Of course he wasn't going to start calling him by it; he imagined how uncomfortable he would be if Lavi started calling him by his birth name, if he'd even had one. He just... suddenly wondered what it would sound like, with his birth father's last name.
Jack Cross? Ian Cross? It was surprisingly hard to find names that sounded like... Lavi.
After a long moment of silence, Lavi told him, adding lightly, "Don't get too attached to it. Gramps would beat the stuffing out of me if he knew I'd told you."
Allen smiled against his shirt. "I won't," he promised. "That was all I needed to know."
Warnings: Some mild humorous craziness abounds, followed by fluff. Contains crackpot theories. Some spoilers up to the bloody windowsill in the 169th Night.
Written for apapazukamori, who wanted a fic about finding out who Lavi's father is.
.heart-deep.
Allen was, literally, the last person in the Order to find out about it. He was so literally the last person in the Order to find out about it that he actually found out from a Finder he had never met before.
It was his master's name that caught at his attention. "I'm sorry?" he asked the man behind him, turning away from Link. "Did you say..." His voice trailed off. There was still something so sensitive about the name, resented and raw and touching.
The man straightened, sitting almost at attention, his white coat falling sharply around him. "Oh-- The chief decided to deal with General Cross's personal effects. He had a will stored with the grand marshals..."
"Oh," Allen said numbly. "I didn't even know he had -- effects." He imagined a vault somewhere with a pack of cigarettes and a box of empty wine bottles. Would Komui take the man's debts into account before or after he distributed his belongings?
The Finder's expression eased, sympathetic. He had no idea what Allen was feeling. "Don't worry, Mister Walker. I heard that aside from a small settlement for his son, all of his effects were left to you."
Then the world froze, and stayed frozen for the next five hours until the bastard's bastard found him.
"His son?"
"His only known son," Link corrected clinically from the other side of the table. "And likely, if not for the Bookman's calling, no one would have known of him either."
Cross's son, he thought.
Lavi is Master's son.
"His son?" he asked. He was perfectly calm. Perhaps eerily calm.
Lavi jumped and went white. It was some time later. He didn't know how much later, but it was dark outside the window of Lavi's room. He didn't know how he'd gotten here or how he'd escaped Link, or how Lavi hadn't noticed him enter the room. He was apparently quite cunning when he was losing long periods of time.
"Holy shit Allen-- I didn't know," the redhead said quickly.
Redhead. He didn't even know any other redheads. How could he not have seen it before. "You didn't know."
"No! Gramps knew, but he never told me. I swear to god I'm totally innocent."
Allen considered these words slowly, turning them over. They made sense. Bookman was very fond of keeping his secrets, and it wasn't surprising that he kept them even from Lavi. The older boy had never been very specific about the details of his job, but Allen was certain that any emotional connections to the person he'd been before becoming Bookman Junior would be considered an annoyance. Why would Bookman have told him who he used to be when he hadn't even been allowed to keep his name?
Lavi took advantage of his silence, telling him reassuringly, "I'm just as surprised as you are." He stepped forward, stretching out his arms to embrace Allen.
And was met with a hand on his chest, holding him a few feet away. Allen eyed him suspiciously. That was what Cross would do. Move in for the 'reassuring' gesture and then 'casually' turn it into something more. Oh no, not gonna happen.
For a moment they stood there like that, and then Lavi said plaintively, "I haven't changed."
Slowly, Allen relaxed, admitted, "That's true." He studied Lavi for a long moment -- patently overdone hopeful expression aside, he was still the same person. And... that person had just learned that a man of his acquaintance, recently pronounced dead, was his father.
It was impossible not to relent in that context. "Sorry," he murmured, stepping forward to wrap his arms tightly around the taller youth, offering that small amount of support. "I was being selfish. I know -- this can't be easy for you, either."
Lavi let out a relieved breath and hugged him back. "Getting and losing a dad in one evening was definitely something I wasn't prepared for."
Allen smiled slightly. "Don't worry. Master wouldn't die so easily." You'd have to at least cut off his head and burn his remains, he thought darkly, but it didn't seem appropriate to say to the man's -- son. "In a few weeks I'm certain I'll be receiving an envelope stuffed full of his latest bills."
Lavi laughed, squeezing him a little. "Funny. I was going to say that to you."
"He's your father."
"He's your master. I don't even know the guy." He could feel Lavi's lips rustling his hair. "He's still yours."
Allen huffed out a breath. It was a ridiculous thing to say; it wasn't like his reaction was anything related to jealousy. He was reasonably certain that disgust was the opposite of jealousy, in fact. But he'd already decided to minimize his censuring of Lavi's newfound father, so...
He stepped forward, urging Lavi back a step, until they were close enough that he could tug them both down to the bed. Lavi followed, and he was grinning when Allen looked up at him. His hands slid lower to Allen's belt.
"Don't push your luck," Allen muttered darkly. He wasn't that okay with this yet.
Chastised, Lavi's hands withdrew and he just sprawled over the bedspread, sighing dramatically. Allen slid close against him and they curled up together, enjoying the silence, the comfort of one another's presence. The intimacy made it easier for the confused whirling of Allen's thoughts to slow, for him to center again.
"...what was your birth name?" Allen asked after a beat.
Lavi stiffened slightly, the fingers on Allen's shoulder ceasing their idle petting. "Where'd that come from?" he asked
Allen shook his head a little. It was a silly question, and unimportant. Of course he wasn't going to start calling him by it; he imagined how uncomfortable he would be if Lavi started calling him by his birth name, if he'd even had one. He just... suddenly wondered what it would sound like, with his birth father's last name.
Jack Cross? Ian Cross? It was surprisingly hard to find names that sounded like... Lavi.
After a long moment of silence, Lavi told him, adding lightly, "Don't get too attached to it. Gramps would beat the stuffing out of me if he knew I'd told you."
Allen smiled against his shirt. "I won't," he promised. "That was all I needed to know."