ILU2DEATH..! 1.5 // Rainbow Legacy 1.5
CAUTION: 61 screens within, equalling around a 3.4MB download.
Sexy times, adult content, non-sequitors, plus a healthy dose of cussing.
Need to catch up? Rainbow Legacy Archive
Hello again! *wiggles in your general direction*
Before we fall helplessly again into the grips of Kohler-Wielle brand insanity, fortified with both cadmium sulfide AND selenide -- MMMmMm smell the toxins! --I have a bit of a caveat to share. I had to break this update up into two because I had over 100 shots and I'm very aware that there's some lovely people that read this legacy who are on dial up.
BUT! Unlike last time I did this, there IS death here. Just.. Not what you're expecting. Just so you know. And stuff... ONTO THE POISON! :DDDD
I don't know how it happened, but post the death of Noelle, I noticed that Craven's profile avatar had changed from being all pleased to see me, to being melancholy. AWW BABY!!! I would send you on that holiday you want so badly, but I fear for leaving your kids alone with a Nanny for days on end. I'm much to attached to them to let them DIAF.
Its okay, we'll get you a new wife, and you'll be all elated again in no time. You'll see! *promises*
Craven: MY GORGEOUS GRILLED CHEESE FLAVOURED MIRACLE BRIDE! SHE IS DEAD! How can I live without her? I want to know..! HOW DO I BREATHE WITHOUT HER?! I thought she'd NEVER go..! How do I ever, EVER SURVIVE?!
Chalk Drawing: QUIT YOUR JIBBER JABBER, FOO!
Chalk drawing has no sympathy for blonde shirtless men who's vanity ring inexplicably pierces two fingers. STOP LISTENING TO THE MUSIC OF PAIN, CRAVEN! IT'LL HELP I PROMISE.
*wonders if I can somehow scrub country music frequencies from the radios*
Okay, boys. She was awesome. I know. I loved her too. But you guys can't multitask. It sucks. Experience emotions AND do an action at the same time? EAXIS SAYS NO!
Portokal? Stop crying and let your Dad pick you up to put you in your crib. Craven? Stop crying and pick your son up to put him in the crib. I SHALL NOT HAVE SOCIAL WORKERS IN THIS HOME!
NUUUuUUuUuUUUuUUuuUuuuUUuuUUuUUUuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should've had Valencia take Saffron with her to College. DAMMIT! I guess with all the death and with V moved out everyone forgot to look after poor Saffron. Considering sulfur crested cockatoos can live for over a hundred years, this is BAD. BAD GUYS. BAAAAD.
RIP SAFFRON. I shall miss your constant jabbering about bank heists, safe combinations & bricks of gold. ;_;
I hate that when pets that are not cats and dogs die, they just get put in the trash or flushed. DO THEY NOT DESERVE TOMBSTONES TOO!? ;_;
Lucy, this is not the time... I'm serious girl, go to bed. You can flood the house in a day or two when everyone's recovered from Noelle's passing. Just let that puddle back in the hallway be it, or go flood the green house. Sure, the tomatoes could do with some watering? Yeah? Does that big grin mean yes? Yes? It does?
GAH! asdewdewIjfoifjaa! WHAT DID I SAY!??! >_<;;;;;;;;;;
So. This picture. Adorably picturesque, yes? And yet FULL OF FAIL!
Surgeon General says: going out in the snow in your skimpy pajamas to build snow-topped sandcastles and play red hands is hazardous to your health.
Geriatrically incontinent Lulu LOVES her some toddler time. She and Tigerlily cuddle at every opportunity, dropping everything to share some love.
See the little boat back there? ABANDONED! The floor of the nursery is constantly left dotted with toys from the chest becauase Tigerlilly's pulled them out and then her Lulu sense has tingled and she's abandoned it to wait by the stairs for the greying matriachal lab to appear for pats. Aaawwwww..! Annoying, but aWwwwwwwWWww..!
PROOF THAT HELL FROZE OVER!! The gardener, is GARDENING! O_O;;;
Lisa! Just in time! Craven needs a booty call to cheer him up a little, care to jump in the sack for old time's sake? I know Noelle lasted MUCH longer than you were expecting, but he's single again now?
Awwww, Lisa, can always count on her. Like Old Reliable, guaranteed to gush in more ways than one at the sight of Craven. EXCELLENT.
Figuring I'd believe Robin Hood (because Disney has never EVER lied to me, EVER), I decided absence makes the heart grow fonder and got Craven to ask Lisa to move in...
...And this time she was ALL OVER IT and all over Craven. But, OH GOD HER FACE! SHE'S GOING TO PUT STRICHNYNE IN THE WELL..! >_<;;;
*breathes*
I really don't think Craven is going to last much longer with all this wife death. He's delirious. Look at that. He's cracking, cracked even. Worth consideraby less on the second hand collectibles market. The poster boy for damaged goods.
WHOA! O_O;;; I smell pre-nup. Y/Y?
Hi Cube! How you holding up now Valencia's toddled off to university? Sad she's not around? Happy your subscription to the contents of her pants will soon be arriving in the mail? You'll have to sign for that, you know? Don't forget to schedule some time off to make sure you get that, k? Its important.
PS: I keep reading people bitch about seeing face one all the time and rejecting it. I have no idea what face one even looks like! Is Cube face one? Is this bad? I don't think he is, right? *has no idea*
Cube's entire work day has gone from making Valencia's bed, smelling her pillow and going to his happy place, to mopping. Endless days filled with mopping. He's now mopped so much he can no longer qualify for the mopping olympics. World Championships only. He'll never know olympic gold, ROBBED! BY LUCY'S GHOST!
Though, his skills are dubious. Unless this is a party trick? What EXACTLY are you clinging to there with that free hand, honey? Its not one of those squeegee pull mops, you know that right? You're not holding an extra random bit of wire. ALTHOUGH would it be better for your back if you were? Maybe its some kind of clear plastic OH&S innovation...
*chooses that as I refuse to believe Cube is inept*
TODDLER+DOGGIE SPAM. ENGAGE!!! :DDDDDDD
Oh look, and I've got toddler blankets now, FINALLY. Now I can avoid all this lack of multi-tasking. The kid can go to his own bed until waiting for his father to harness his grief. Well, except he's not grieving anymore, cause he's gone insane.
Those are AWFULLY shapely legs that Tigerlily has there, especially for a toddler.
LOOKIT!! HAI choose! :D And is that a Caffiene, aka SimJava™ back there? :D *licks*
Just walking past in a disinterested, broody fashion? That's my girl.
ITS TIME FOR NOELLE'S CHILLINS TO GROW UP! And amazingly, they're even in platinum mode. MMMmMmMmm growing up well inspite of recent mother death. Craven still hasn't gotten the hang of wearing clothes again, but considering I too had loves for Noelle, I'm gonna let that slide. For now.
ANYWAY! ON WITH THE PARTIES! :DDDD
Baby Tigerlily metaphorically dons a gas mask in order to ask Lisa, desperately, "Are you my Mummy?"
*heartbreak*
Portokal thinks he's AWESOME! He's pretty cool I've got to agree with him. Very interesting mix of his parents going on there methinks. Why are his fingers so fat? *just noticed that and is weirded out* Look at those sausages! O_O Fine motor dexterity, it shall always elude him. At least I know he'll never make a fugly woman servo. You need skinny fingers to apply that strip of eyelash. TO SAUSAGE FINGERS, JUST VOTE YES!
Sienna gossips to Ochre that I TOTALLY SUCK and somehow managed to totally miss out on getting a Tigerlilly screenshot. Ochre is SHOCKED that I would be so remiss in my chronicling duties. I have ONE JOB, you're right, I REPENT! ;_;
So here she is! Tigerlilly watches you sleep. It is not creepy. She did not do this for 5 simhours straight. That is not weird. She is completely balanced. Its totally normal to watch your older brother sleeping. Its not vaguely incestual. It is not overtly incestual. It is fine. Completely.
This so creeps me out that Ochre woke up completely refreshed and had no idea what had gone on. Its like that camping story people tell about a woman hiking in the hills by herself for seven days. She never once saw another person the whole trip. When she gets home and develops her film (I know, lol real film, on a CAMPING trip) she discovers photos of HERSELF, SLEEPING.
*grabs my cat and hides under the covers*
Lisa: HAI CHECO! Miss me? Can you come to 73110 Rainbow Avenue? I've got a little somethin' somethin' for you! How's Tessa btw? She grew up well?! Yeah? Yeah good! Sorry to miss that... K, see you in ten?
Checo: DAYUM, WHAT YOU DO TO YO' HAIR, GRRRL? That don't look good on yo' bone structure, maybe get some lowlights in there? Accessorize a little, mix it up a bit, OWN those hot rollers.
Yeah... So Lisa doesn't like it when people criticize her stylist's advice. And so she harnesses her inner crotchety old man-in-a-wife-beater and instructs Checo with emphatic hand gesticulatilons to kindly GET OFF HER LAWN. DAMN KID...!
Its for his own good.
Craven's pants are waiting inside, and they are ALWAYS HUNGRY.
CHECO! THAT MOUTH IS AWARD WINNING!!! *gives it an emmy*
That's not a face of remorse and hurt Lisa's wearing there. She just thinks she stepped on a snail and feels sorry for it. Crushed to death, sliced into hundreds of slivery snail steaks by its OWN HOME! *heartbreak*
See? Told you.
Lisa: Okay what did I have to do to day? FINALLY move in with long-standing mister-ess? Check. Wildly spend thousands on a new wardrobe? Check. Get a cut, colour and extentions? CHECK! Break husband's heart, and crush it into the pavement along with the body of a defenseless snail? Check. Luxuriate in a bath and rejoice in the events of the day? Check. Set fireworks that will inexplicably not burn the sheets of my paramour's bed off with our hot, debasing monkey sex? ZOMG! GOTTA GET ONTO THAT!
Craven says, Ooook?
PERSIA ATE SIENNA'S HOMEWORK!! And in the sims you don't get penalised for that! It IS an awesome virtual reality after all.
You would think with eyes that wide, little Freezer Bunny would see a huge yellow dog with a thirst for wood-pulp coming and do something about it. Nope, just lay there like bambi trapped by a case of early onset high-beams. ALTHOUGH! According to lemon_lime35 , Bambi LIKES it rough. Does explain Freezer Bunny's lack of legs...
Freezer Bunny wants you to touch his wrinkled stubs. Oh yes. He does. Go on, touch them. You know you want to. MmMmmmMmmmm Bunneh stumps.
Craven? Are you trying to wink at us or is that a nervous tic. I can't tell. Either way its terrifically creepy. Keep it up, babe!
PS: Anyone else feel the hula girls on Lisa's singlet in kind of poor taste? Poor thing, she's never gonna get to that delicious tiki-tent in the sky.
WOW! Whoever balanced that pad and pen across those counters have a pretty awesomely thorough grasp on balance and the manipulation of gravity. I'm coloured all kinds of impressed over here.
Oh right: Craven's midlife crisis. ENGAGE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAND... CUT!! Isn't it amusing that he's pushing 60 and still looks 19? I'm impressed. You? If that ain't an advertisement for uxoricide I don't know what is. WANT TO BE FOREVER YOUNG? HAVE YOUR WIFE DIE IN AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT! AND THE NEXT ONE, AND THE NEXT! So you'll start going a little crazy from all the pressure and constant loss. So your kids will grow up to have MASSIVE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES. In the end? STILL GORGEOUS!
Hi Dagmar? Why you look so unsure?
Its not your daily line-up of dogs come for their morning affections, is it? You usually seem pretty stoked to oblige them...
OH! NO! Its one of my september founder submissions for pixel_trade , Goldie Laburnum! HEY GOLDIE! Looking a little creepy there, but I still love you! :DDDDD
While the marigolds play...
...Checo steals their increasingly transparent newspaper, momentarily FILLED with delight at totally getting his revenge on that 'bitch that left their daughter motherless.' Just FYI, Checo, YOU moved out of your home too and went straight to SimBin leaving Tessa COMPLETELY ALONE. ( A fact I didn't discover till she'd been there a while, cause I'm a noob...).
Hope that invisible newspaper keeps you warm at night, feel free to take them all, just one less job Cube doesn't have time for cause he's too busy mopping up Lucy's happy-fun-time gifts. ^_^;;
See this here? SEE THIS FACE!? This is the face of of someone sleeping the deep, contented sleep of fresh landmine sidesteppage. I'd promised brilliantcat a Zombie bride this update. And Lisa was my target because of ALL THE TROUBLE SHE'D ALREADY PUT ME THROUGH. dragancaor was voting zombie too so I was MEGA excited to give it a burl...
And then from across the lot I heard the baby-times jingle. DAMN YOU LISA! GAH! Why'd you have to be SO freaken wiley. I bet you wont play nice and roll over and die either. I BET IT! Maaaaaan, where'd she get off being so smart?
And now she's pregnant and therefore believes I WONT kill her on purpose till the birth (and she's right. Dammit), she goes and does all manner of RIDICULOUS THINGS just to piss me off. I SWEAR. Its snowing, Lisa. You see that snow? You see how its coating your beach towel?
WRY CAN THEY NOT FREEZE TO DEATH, EAXIS!? WRRRRYYYYY?! MEEENDOOOOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Goldie was just a walk by, I don't think he even spoke to her, and yet he rolled the want to be friends with her. Picking out potential brides on sight before this one has even accepted an engagement proposal, Craven? What have I done to you?!
*is pleased*
BIRTHDAY FILLED UPDATE IS FILLED WITH BIRTHDAYS!! :D Valencia and Risso visit from uni to excitedly celebrate their sibling's transitions. Well, V does at any rate, Risso just stands around out the back and SCHEMES... The finger-steeple-fu is great with this one. But his is not the strongest. Oh no. Another there is. Plot-fu great with him it be. And his birthday, it is now...
ZOMG! COFFEE DESPERATION?! XD XD
I've had many a sim freeze before and this is the FIRST TIME I've ever seen the warm-up freak out. And thusly, it gets its own screenshot entirely devoted to itself. MMMmMMmMmmm coffeeeeee....
Ochre KNOWS that he's awesome. Even if he's a little apprehensive about the awesome power. And he's going to use that awesome to please the women of this town. And they will love it. And he's not gonna care how innapropriate it is. And my face is going to age five years (which apparently will only make me look 21, so I'm totally okay with that XD) from the stress. THANKS OCHRE. >_>;;
I'd actually make him heir over Valencia (I know! Her throne, it shakes!) because he's so damn interesting and WICKED in the true sense of the word. But he's very MiniCraven in looks so urk genetic variety. And playing him EXHAUSTS ME XD
Sienna patiently waits her turn. Now Dad? May I extinguish the flames of my disorienting childhood now?
...And so she does. AND I LOVE HER! She's still a little awkward looking but you can see Lucy everywhere in her features. Those caterpillars will go and I will be sad she can't be heir. MAAAAAN I have to learn to have less kids if I can't play them aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall. XD
Two things. Pillow fighting with your new step-mother while she's practically naked in the snow at your kid sibling's teen transition birthday? NOT ON, RISSO.
Second thing? MAGICAL PILLOW HOLDING FORCE POWER!!! I fear for this lot and they're the first generation! O_O;; Methinks Valencia will be moving into some other house entirely...
Ochre is so consciencious. Look at him here mopping up duringhis own birthday party. Pre-emptive mopping? Not sure who this benefits, if he mops up an area just before she gets there, wont she re-sop? OCHRE USE YOUR BRAINS.
*sigh* Lucy what ARE we gonna do with you!? I'm told I should put a lake all around the gravestones but they still get out in winter. And GUESS WHAT SEASON IT IS >_<;;
Awww, Risso the popularity sim. Just wants to get along, even while his dead step-mother tries to scare him to death. CAN'T WE ALL BE FRIENDS?!
NEW PROPOSAL LOCATION! THE GREEN HOUSE! Whilst his third wife's children's party rages on, Craven pulls a grey-skinned Lisa aside to pop the question. Appropriate time and places seem to be lost on this family. But then again, with so much death going on you'd learn the 'no time like the present' lesson pretty DAAAAYUM fast.
All Lisa's dreams are coming true! You would think with his track record and the fact that she's been to EVERY SINGLE ONE of his weddings that she'd be running for the hills. But no, she got here first and apparently she thinks that means she'll survive the curse.
I GOT NEWS FOR YOU LISA.
Okay WHO replaced my family with the Walkers?! Next they'll all be breaking out the alcohol and drinking at every single opportunity. INNAPROPRIATE GOSSIP AND CAT-LETTING-OUT-OF-THE-BAGNESS AT FAMILY PARTIES IS ALSO NOT ON.
Seriously family. Gossiping about your recently departed step-mother? Not pro.. All we need now is a nudie scene and we've pretty much hit ever flavour of innapropriate ways to celebrate a thirteenth birthday party.
THIS WAS NOT AN INVITATION, RISSO. >_<;;;
*lols at guest censorship by lemon_lime35*
Notice how the censorship underpants are kind of bulgy between his legs? Yeah, he had major scrote going on! I don't have any mods or hacks for this kind of thing. It was just... OUT THERE! Oh yeah, he's so male he has balls when he's not even designed to have them. Be really proud or slap him about time and place!?
CONFLICTED!!
Lisa uses this opportunity to remind me that a) yes she is in fact pregnant so that b) I have to get them hitched ASAP if I don't want her popping into some ugly maternity non-yellow concoction in the middle of the ceremony and c) neener neener, I can't turn her into a zombie pre-vows.
Craven: ZzZzZzZhatezzzzZzzzselfZzZzzZzzZzzZ
*heartbreak*
NO PORTOKAL!! *cries* You were nevere dumped on the floor as an infant, this was supposed to prohibit this kind of thing! >_<;;; YOU HAVE A BED! Granted its Risso's hand me down bed, but there's NOTHING wrong with it. GO TO IT!
Tigerlilly? Please close your eyes when you sleep. You can do it, its not a skill, its how this works. Sleeping 101, Chapter one, close eyes.
You're not a cat. You're also not in 'nam.
NO SERIOUSLY, CLOSE THEM YOU TWO! THIS IS NOT A DRILL~!
WELL HELLOOOO pretty new paper girl. The old one, Amy, went off to college and she'd been making too many eyes at Craven while she was a teenager so I was trying to nip that in the bud. But Ochre needs a girlfriend and I think we've found her! Oh look, here's Checo to steal the newspaper this cutie is about to deliver.
Hai Checo! How's the SimBin going? Still cold and paper-lined like a cat carrier?
Oh! I'M SHOCKED! Its not paper-rage today after all, its time to take your frustration out on the defenseless trash can. Yeah, that broken toe is so gonna teach Lisa a HUGE lesson. You're hard core, Checo.
You know, every time a sim does this, I'm sad Oscar or Slimey don't fall out ;_;
Wouldn't it be awesome to have a Slimey pet? With all his little accessories and props? Dress Me Pretty Slimey™!! Children's Television Network totally dropped the ball on that money maker. He'd rival Barbie! He's been to college, and gone to the moon and I'm SURE I remember him looking studly in a tux before.
Well, you know, as studly as a fuzzy orange muppet worm can be.
*goes looking for stripey orange worm downloads for Valencia's kids*
She's pretty, but she's unsure... Will Ochre get the girl? Will Lisa pull a Helena and die before childbirth? Will she live and deliver unto us a boy child? Twins? Quins? Septuplets? Will Checo EVER learn, suck it up and move back into his home to make sure his teenage daughter doesn't go off the rails? Will I manage to get a reference to eating dickite into the narrative like tomecide requested? Will I EVER get my ZombieBride?
What ARE birds?
THE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE MAY OR MAY NOT APPEAR IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT..! But I assure you all of one thing. There will be death.
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