2020
2007 just moved back to edinburgh
2008 http://figg.livejournal.com/314729.html
2009 http://figg.livejournal.com/343616.html
2010 http://figg.livejournal.com/346046.html
2011 http://figg.livejournal.com/346441.html
2012 http://figg.livejournal.com/347985.html
2013 http://figg.livejournal.com/348330.html
2014 http://figg.livejournal.com/348456.html
2015 http://figg.livejournal.com/348903.html
2016 https://figg.livejournal.com/349076.html
2017 https://figg.livejournal.com/349340.html
2018 https://figg.livejournal.com/349607.html
2019 https://figg.livejournal.com/349888.html
Last year I wrote:
2019: Better than the last five years, but not by much. Same as it ever was.
[...]
Really, I'm already in the best place to try and rebuild my life. There's jobs here, friends visiting, people my age on dating apps. If only I wasn't completely exhausted from doing precisely that, for just over six years.
2020: New decade, same problems.
I wasn't entirely wrong. The same problems plagued me. I've struggled to keep a sleep pattern, I've struggled to eat every day, and I've had great difficulty making and maintaining friendships.
Even so, I was beginning to make progress: I hadn't been burned out at work. I was starting to see people on a regular basis again. I was even leaving the house at least once a day. So far, so good. It didn't last, but for once, it wasn't my fault.
In January, I'd bought a fancy zoom lens. Turns out I really like taking pictures of crows. In February, I did get to see my Dad, and spend a weekend at home. I even took my fancy camera.
For March, I'd planned to visit Edinburgh, catch up with old faces, and try and celebrate my birthday for the first time in four years. A prelude towards leaving london, and maybe working out if I wanted to move back to Scotland, before Brexit became a reality.
Then in March, well, Lockdown happened. By July I'd burned out of my Job, but thankfully I found a new job by October. Along the way, I learned a bit of harmonica, got much better at nature photography, and even sold a few prints on the internet.
I spent the first 98 days of lockdown on my own. Eventually, the anxiety subsided, and I managed to meet up with a few people in the park. In the last nine months, I've seen five different people, and spent maybe a whole ten hours where I wasn't completely by myself.
Give or take 150 feral hungry crows.
It hasn't been a total waste of a year: I got called a "pandemic deity" by a vice journalist. I've made new friends online who are as obsessed by corvids as I am. I've even inspired a few people to go and spend some gentle moments outside, feeding the local wildlife.
This year could have gone a lot better, but also, it could have gone a lot worse, much much worse.
I don't know what's in store for next year. Britain is firmly committed to flushing itself down the toilet, it'll be another few months before I get half of a vaccine, and then three months before I get the other half.
I really don't expect anything to change for at least nine months. Maybe if we're lucky, we won't be in lockdown this time next year, but I'm not holding my breath.
In the meantime, I have an ADHD referral to look forwards to, I can practice more harmonica, and spend each day as I have for years now: being sad on the internet and punctuating it with pictures of my corvid buddies. That, and I expect to have bought far too many lenses.
p.s. here's a small thread of some of my favourite pictures from last year.
https://twitter.com/tef_ebooks/status/1343737255333134336
2008 http://figg.livejournal.com/314729.html
2009 http://figg.livejournal.com/343616.html
2010 http://figg.livejournal.com/346046.html
2011 http://figg.livejournal.com/346441.html
2012 http://figg.livejournal.com/347985.html
2013 http://figg.livejournal.com/348330.html
2014 http://figg.livejournal.com/348456.html
2015 http://figg.livejournal.com/348903.html
2016 https://figg.livejournal.com/349076.html
2017 https://figg.livejournal.com/349340.html
2018 https://figg.livejournal.com/349607.html
2019 https://figg.livejournal.com/349888.html
Last year I wrote:
2019: Better than the last five years, but not by much. Same as it ever was.
[...]
Really, I'm already in the best place to try and rebuild my life. There's jobs here, friends visiting, people my age on dating apps. If only I wasn't completely exhausted from doing precisely that, for just over six years.
2020: New decade, same problems.
I wasn't entirely wrong. The same problems plagued me. I've struggled to keep a sleep pattern, I've struggled to eat every day, and I've had great difficulty making and maintaining friendships.
Even so, I was beginning to make progress: I hadn't been burned out at work. I was starting to see people on a regular basis again. I was even leaving the house at least once a day. So far, so good. It didn't last, but for once, it wasn't my fault.
In January, I'd bought a fancy zoom lens. Turns out I really like taking pictures of crows. In February, I did get to see my Dad, and spend a weekend at home. I even took my fancy camera.
For March, I'd planned to visit Edinburgh, catch up with old faces, and try and celebrate my birthday for the first time in four years. A prelude towards leaving london, and maybe working out if I wanted to move back to Scotland, before Brexit became a reality.
Then in March, well, Lockdown happened. By July I'd burned out of my Job, but thankfully I found a new job by October. Along the way, I learned a bit of harmonica, got much better at nature photography, and even sold a few prints on the internet.
I spent the first 98 days of lockdown on my own. Eventually, the anxiety subsided, and I managed to meet up with a few people in the park. In the last nine months, I've seen five different people, and spent maybe a whole ten hours where I wasn't completely by myself.
Give or take 150 feral hungry crows.
It hasn't been a total waste of a year: I got called a "pandemic deity" by a vice journalist. I've made new friends online who are as obsessed by corvids as I am. I've even inspired a few people to go and spend some gentle moments outside, feeding the local wildlife.
This year could have gone a lot better, but also, it could have gone a lot worse, much much worse.
I don't know what's in store for next year. Britain is firmly committed to flushing itself down the toilet, it'll be another few months before I get half of a vaccine, and then three months before I get the other half.
I really don't expect anything to change for at least nine months. Maybe if we're lucky, we won't be in lockdown this time next year, but I'm not holding my breath.
In the meantime, I have an ADHD referral to look forwards to, I can practice more harmonica, and spend each day as I have for years now: being sad on the internet and punctuating it with pictures of my corvid buddies. That, and I expect to have bought far too many lenses.
p.s. here's a small thread of some of my favourite pictures from last year.
https://twitter.com/tef_ebooks/status/1343737255333134336