(no subject)

[fifteen_half]

Title: Pinocchio
Characters: Hankyung, Heechul
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: PG
Summary: Hankyung makes a wish



Geng remembers he used to be happy.

He remembers a voice, singing sweetly to him before he sleeps. He remembers warm, strong arms around him, gently stroking his back after he had hurt his knee. And then darkness and pain and fire, lots of fire, burning metal and rubber and flesh.

All of a sudden, he finds himself alone.

He didn't stay by himself for very long. Couples would pick him sometimes, something about his complying nature. He goes with them but they're never nice. The house takes him back, back with the other kids who are also alone, who also waits for someone to take and care for them like they had been before. In there, even with so many children like him, he feels alone. He sees others make friends easily and sometimes, he's jealous of how they talk and make each other feel better but he still stays away, still sees fire, still continues to be alone.

And then one day, another couple takes him with them. This time, they're kind and their smiles actually reach their eyes. This time, he's comfortable with them and sometimes, he thinks his smile can reach his eyes again, too.

This time, he thinks he might be able to forget the burning. And that maybe he won't be alone anymore.

But they leave him alone, sometimes. Work, they said. Both of them. Their eyes are sad when they say this and Geng feels that they are finding a way for Geng to not to be alone so much. He likes that, likes that they take care of him, likes that they make him forget about the fire, likes that he is sure he won't be alone soon.

Though they leave him still, they make time for him. Little by little, Auntie and Uncle spend more and more time with him. He thinks this isn't so bad. He still remembers fire and burning metal and rubber and flesh, still is scared and sad when he thinks about his mother and father. But, they say, softly, gently when he wakes up from nightmares of burning, that it'll all go away. And that it'll all be all right soon.

He likes that it isn't so hard to believe them.

In the town where they live, there's this big old mansion where kids would dare each other to go in.

Geng doesn't play with the others. Auntie and Uncle look sad when they see him playing by himself but it's not as if he can help it. Those other kids don't want him around. They call him weird and not-cool and the words hurt more than the punches sometimes so he stays away.

Geng feels Auntie and Uncle want him to try harder because sometimes, on the occasions when they're eating dinner together, they talk to him in serious voices and tell him, 'Wouldn't it be nice to have playmates, Geng?' or 'Do you know that friends make you feel not so alone?'

He doesn't tell them that he knows; he's just afraid that they'll burn.

Geng is afraid of the house because it's too big, too old, and dark. He's even afraid of the noona that lives there all by herself. She doesn't smile much and she screams at the other children even when they're only looking at the big front gates.

Auntie and Uncle are friends with the noona. When he tells them that he's scared of her they smile at him. Uncle picks him up and settles him at his side on the bed, so that he's sandwiched between Auntie and Uncle. Auntie wraps her arm around his shoulders while Uncle pats his knee and it's warm and safe and he feels like he belongs. They tell him about the noona, how she would always smile before-- before her son and her husband had been taken away from her.

Geng asks how and they look at him so sadly that he almost takes the question back. Auntie answers him with a quiet 'car crash,' and he understands why. Sometimes, Auntie and Uncle are afraid he still hasn't gotten over his own car crash. He thinks it's absurd because it's been a long time and he hardly ever has nightmares of burning nowadays. But.

They see something in him, something he isn't sure he'd like. And seeing that is worrying them. Geng would like to know what they see and sometimes he wants to ask them what it is but he never does.

He's afraid it might have something to do with his fear of loving other people.

It's not as if he can help it. He's just afraid that when he starts loving, they'll burn like his mother and father.

Auntie and Uncle tell him they need to go on a business trip. Geng isn't happy about that, in fact, he went on full panic mode at the thought of the plane and metal and rubber burning. But they calm him down, assuring him that nothing will happen. He's been believing them for a while now, and they haven't let him down that much, so he nods and stops crying.

He still doesn't like it, though. They'll be gone for weeks and weeks and since he's only seven years old and they can't take him with them they leave him with the noona in that big, old, decaying house.

They stand in front of him, in front of the house, before they leave, with matching worried faces. They had talked in hushed tones before, when he they told him to bring his stuff inside. It was probably Auntie and Uncle telling the noona about how his nightmares of burning has returned. Not his fault. They started it. They shouldn't be leaving Geng, after all.

Auntie and Uncle bend down towards him and the worried faces are gone, replaced with soft smiles. Auntie kisses the top of his head, telling him to be good and that she loves him. Uncle ruffles his hair and whispers not to worry, they'll come back, and they'll bring him home soon.

Geng wants to believe in them, he really does, but the burning is stronger now.

He doesn't tell them that, he just nods his head, smiles like he's okay and whispers long after they're gone: I love you and Please, don't make me be alone again.

And so Geng finds himself at the company of the noona he's so afraid of. No matter what Auntie and Uncle had said, she still doesn't smile much, doesn't really talk to him except when they need to eat, or to tell him he needs to sleep. He's wary of her and she seems to be wary of him, too.

Geng thinks what they're doing is pretty stupid.

One night, Geng finds Joo Rin-noona in the living room, looking intently at the picture frames on top of the fireplace. He watches her and wonders if this is what Auntie and Uncle see when they find him looking at his parents' old photographs.

He decides he doesn't like it.

So he bites his lips, comes forward with a determined frown and says, "Will you tell me your story?"

She looks angry for a while, like there's this unspoken rule that Geng can't disturb her when she's feeling like this, but she just turns her back to him and leaves the living room.

Geng stares at the picture on top of the fireplace and wonders if she can still see metal and rubber and flesh burning, wonders how long it's been, wonders if he could do something about that. He decides, after a while, that one person has got to be enough. So he looks around for her, and when he does (she's in the kitchen, nursing a half-filled glass), he takes her hand and smiles. She's confused, but Geng just holds her hands tighter. And then he says, "Mom used to hold my hands when something bad happens. It made me feel better."

For a while, she stays still. Then her hands relax and she smiles.

She takes him to his room after she throws the liquid from her glass to the sink. She stays by the doorway for a while, something she hasn't done before, then as if reaching a decision, she walks over to him, helps him go under the covers and kisses his temple goodnight. Geng smiles sleepily at her, happy that he made someone feel not alone.

Somehow, this turns into a pattern and suddenly, Geng realizes that Joo Rin noona has become one other person he needs to protect from the burn. He doesn't mind though, because she makes him feel all the nice things Auntie and Uncle has made him feel.

Sometimes, like tonight, she'd crawl into bed beside him, watching over him as he falls asleep. This night though, she finally tells him her story, about her family, what it used to be: happy, safe, whole, loved. She tells him of her son, how alive she made him feel, about her husband, and his ability to make her smile just by being there. She tells him she misses them and that she'll never forget how much they made her feel loved. Then she laughs, smooths Geng's hair and whispers, "I haven't opened this room for years."

"Why?"

"This was my Heenim's room, my little rascal," she says as she tightens her arms around Geng, then she sighs and chuckles, "He used to be so angry that I'd tuck him to sleep, especially if I settle in beside him to tell him stories. He said he was too old for them, but I knew, knew that he loved it whenever I did."

Geng is silent for a moment, then moving closer to Joo Rin's warmth, he clutches at her dress and whispers, "Will you tell me a story?"

She doesn't breathe for a moment. She looks down at the boy melted at her side then remembers what he had said, what he had given to her, how even when she told how she felt about her family's tragedy she hadn't felt like the world was falling apart, not even once. Slowly, she feels her lips curl upward into a gentle smile. She feels wriggling beside her and when she looks, she sees him peering uncertaintly at her. Her face breaks into a bright smile and he relaxes into her side, trying to fit his tiny body at the curve of her waist. She allows him, even though this is what her son had done many, many years ago. She allows it and she settles in herself.

"Once upon a time," she begins, and pauses anticipating a cringe like what her son would do. But he doesn't, just lays there beside her, waiting for her story.

"Once upon a time," she repeats, craning her memory for that story she and her son had loved, "There was a carpenter named Geppeto, who had carved for himself a little puppet boy he loved with all his heart and with all his soul. One night, just as he finished his work, he saw a bright star shining among the rest. Reverently, as if in prayer, he closed his eyes and he wished with all his heart and with all his soul that his little Pinocchio would turn into a real boy."

Unable to sleep one night, Geng hears sounds coming from the hallways. He knows it isn't Joo Rin noona, the sounds she makes are the tinkling of glasses as she prepares tea for her midnight snack. And he knows it's only them in the big house. He swallows and covers himself tight with the quilts noona had given him.

He lays still for a while, nervous, willing the sound to stop. And it did. But when a loudly stated, "Are you scared?" rattles beside him, Geng almost jumps out of the bed. He sees a boy, a little older than him, sitting on a chair he had dragged beside the bed. He seems okay, though looking a little hostile.

"Are you scared?" the boy taunts.

Indignant, Hankyung chucks the covers off of himself and heatedly replies, "Am not."

He sees the boy's lips curl into a grin, eyes sparkling with barely contained mischief, "Yeah, bet you weren't. With you clutching at those quilts like it was a lifeline. Sure, I believe you."

"There was a strange noise," Geng replies, "Are there ghosts in this house?"

The boy laughs, loud and clear and happy that it makes Geng smile too. "Are you afraid of ghosts?"

Geng whispers, like saying the word might make them appear and eat the two of them alive, "Aren't you afraid of... of ghosts?"

"Nah," the boy replies, cocky and sure as he sits back on the chair, casual like he belonged, "Ghosts can't harm you. Not unless you're pissing them off."

"Well, how do you not piss them off?"

The boy cocks his head to the side, as if deciding how to answer the question. Then he straightens up, smiles conspiratively at Geng and begins to spin a tale so crazy and so obviously untrue that Hankyung forgets mosters and ghosts, forgets how lonely he is all the time, forgets the burning of metal and rubber and flesh. He sits up on his bed, knees drawn to his chest, attention rapt as he listens to the other boy speak.

The two of them stay like that for hours, even deep into the night. In the middle of the boy's story of a romantic conquest of a raccoon and a panda, Geng drifts off to sleep. In the morning, when he wakes up, Geng's new friend isn't there anymore. He looks around, willing the boy to come again. He sighs and feels a twinge of loneliness he hadn't realized had disappeared, creep back in.

Geng doesn't tell Joo Rin noona about the boy. Because the boy obviously had gotten in without permission and Geng doesn't want his new friend (or is he?) to get in trouble. And mostly because if the boy is punished Geng may not see him again before his parents come back. So he stays silent.

He waits for the boy, though. Waits for him on most nights, hoping he'd break in again and tell him stories of silly raccoons and gentleman horses, of princesses and crazy monkeys and of Simba the lion. He waits for hours and then for days and then a week, forgetting completely about fires. And suddenly, as if in reward, one morning while he explored the huge garden at the back of the house, he hears a yelp and a body land somewhere. He runs towards the sound and his face lights up when he sees that same boy cursing loudly as he wiped the bottom of his pants clean.

Geng runs to him, laughs as he reprimands, "You shouldn't curse or else angels won't allow you to go to heaven!"

The boy seems to hesitate for a moment, then he rolls his eyes at him and waves him off, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Not as if your Joo Rin noona's gonna come out here anyway."

"Where've you been?" Geng asks, happiness at finding the other boy evident in his smile.

The boy just shrugs and begins to walk back to the tree he had fallen from, "Around."

"I waited for you for a long time, but you never came," Geng says, "It was quiet without you around."

The boy stops his climb back up, turns to regard him and jumps back down. He's a head taller than Geng, so he bends down a little, pokes Hankyung's cheeks and smiles at the younger boy gently, "Yeah? Bet you missed me, huh? It's impossible for someone like me not to be missed, right?"

And because Geng thinks the boy is the most awesome kid on the planet, he nods eagerly and states, "Everyone would miss you. No one would not!"

"That's right!" he yells, "I am the most awesomest kid on the world! And you," he says, laughing, "You're the second most awesomest kid on the world! Right next to me."

Geng laughs along with the boy but even with his happiness, he couldn't help but worry, "Do your parents know you've been coming here? Did your friends dare you to come in, too?"

Geng stills when he asks, remembers that he's the weird one, the not-cool kid on the block. That the boy can't ever be his friend because, because...

He sees the boy shake his head, an odd smile playing on his lips. Then he turns to Geng and asks instead, "What about you? Your parents know you've been hanging out here all by yourself?"

He can't help it, but he kind of breaks. He doesn't know why, but this boy, Geng had hoped he would be different, would be the friend he needed. But he had forgotten. In the peace he found with Joo Rin noona, he had forgotten there was a whole world out there, a whole world filled with kids that might not want him because he's weird and not-cool. A whole world filled with people he can't bring himself to love.

He's running before he realizes it, tears streaming down his face because he can't, can't make the same mistake again. It had hurt so much the first time, hurt him so deeply that years and years after they've been taken away he still feels the fire, still smells the metal and rubber and flesh burning.

With his contantly flowing tears, he trips on a root, unable to see much but blurs of objects. He doesn't try to get up, knowing he's scared the other boy away, scared the only friend he might have away. The thought makes him cry harder. He cries and cries, so hard he can't control his hiccuping anymore, can't seem to breathe properly anymore.

And then he feels fingers sifting through his hair. They're soft and warm and real and it's that boy, and the boy's beside him, kneeling next to him because he's curled himself into a ball, knees drawn tight to his chest, sobbing hard.

The boy is threading his fingers through his hair, soft and slow and gentle and he's saying comforting words to Geng, saying things like, I'm sorry and It's okay, and 'I'm here, I'm here, I'm here'.

It calms Geng down, and even when he isn't crying anymore the boy is still there, still stroking his hair like his mom used to when he was upset. And it feels nice, because for the first time ever, he doesn't feel the burn when he thinks about his mom anymore. Because 'It's okay', he says, 'I'm here.'

They stay curled side by side, sitting under the shade of the tree all morning. The boy talks about anything and everything and keeps Geng's mind off of everything that hurts. And Geng feels safe and wanted and loved. Just like what he had when his parents were around. Just like he does when Auntie and Uncle are around. Just like when he's tucked safely around the arms of Joo Rin noona as she tells him another story before he falls asleep.

That's how Joo Rin noona finds him when it was time for lunch. Sleeping peacefully, sitting against the trunk of the big tree. The boy, however, isn't around again. This time, Geng doesn't feel so bad. He'll find the boy again. Maybe the next day. Or next week. Maybe even later.

Geng does find him later. They play all throughout the day, through the night and still the next morning, and the next and the next and the next.

Geng learns his name is Heechul.

During dinner, Joo Rin noona tells Geng that Auntie and Uncle will pick him up tomorrow morning. Geng nods happily, finally at ease that his paren--Auntie and Uncle are okay, and asks if he can come back to play. Joo Rin noona smiles and says, Of course, Hannie (she had given him a nice Korean name since he was living here now), and that he can bring his friends over next time if he wants.

Geng shakes his head though because he's already got a friend and, "Please don't be angry, noona! But he's been sneaking into the house and into the garden before I can invite him in, but he's been really good and we haven't broken anything in the garden or in my room so please, please don't be angry because Heechul's really nice and I think you'll like him because he's cool and he's really funny and he takes care of me, and he likes me, he likes me noona, he likes me!"

But Joo Rin noona is still, staring at Geng like she can't quite believe what she's heard. Then she asks, "Hannie, what did you say his name was?"

Geng is confused, shouldn't noona be angry at him? Why does she look like she might cry? Tilting his head, he quietly says, "Heechul?" And before Geng can ask why, Joo Rin noona has shot out of her chair, had rushed from the dining room, and away.

Geng blinks at the spot where she had sat, confused. He bites his lip, then hesitantly pushes away from the table. He looks for her, in her room, in his, outside in the garden, the library where she stays in the afternoons when Geng's out playing with-- he doesn't find her in the library, or the garden or in both their rooms. Geng finds her in the living room, on the big leather sofa in front of the big fireplace, rocking back and forth back and forth, crying.

Geng almost leaves the room for fear of making it worse, but he steps forward, toward her shaking form. Slowly, inch by agonizing inch, he sees what she's secured safely in the crook of her arms. He sees a picture frame, with dark brown edges and trails of gold running the entire expanse of the frame. Geng--Hankyung, he was called now--recognizes it as the one she had been staring at all those days ago. The one with the three of them smiling like paradise was on earth, that one picture where her husband had his arms around her and their son, their son.

'Heenim', she had said.

Hankyung had always wondered why Heechul looked so familiar. Back then, he had thought that Heechul was probably someone he had seen around the town, small as it was. But he was right, he had seen Heechul before. Only, in a picture. When Joo Rin noona had shown him her family with tears in her eyes.

'Heenim', she had said, pointing at the boy smiling arrogantly back at them. 'My little rascal, Heenim'.

And.

'Are you scared?'

'Are you afraid of ghosts?'

Shoulders dropping, Hankyung doesn't know if he should be afraid. Or if he should cry along with Joo Rin noona. It hurts, like he's lost someone important. Hurts like it burns, just like that time when he lost his--

He doesn't realize it, but he's sitting beside her now. He's taken hold of her arm and had managed to wiggle underneath her shaking embrace. She's still crying, still looking at the photo like she's lost them all over again. He doesn't want to see her like this. All thoughts of upsetting her gone, Hankyung snakes his arms around her waist.

She doesn't respond, so he pulls his arms back to himself and wonders if he can make this right. So Hankyung draws his knees to his chest then, in a quiet, reverent voice he whispers, "Noona, will you tell me a story?"

He feels her tense at the words. And suddenly, she's back in there, back in herself, back where Hankyung wants her to be. There's still pain lingering in the depths of her eyes when she looks at him, sad but grateful and sorry and, "Once upon a time there was a man called Geppeto who wished upon a star that his little Pinocchio would turn into a real boy."

In the morning after, Joo Rin noona reminds him that his parents had called the other night. They were picking him up today, after they've packed up their house.

Hankyung looks at her questioningly. She smiles and says, "You're going back to China Hannie--Geng--so that you'll be together more often."

He's still for a second. Then he nods and continues eating. He finishes faster than usual, faster even than Joo Rin noona who always finishes before him. She looks at him curiously for a moment, but he smiles at her and dashes to his room. He tries to call him, once, twice, louder, stronger but he doesn't come. So he races back down, to the kitchen startling noona while she washes the dishes, out the backdoor, and into the garden. He runs until he's in front of the big tree they usually sit under, that big tree where Heechul would tell him stories upon stories of crazy adventures and fantasies not of this world.

He almost thinks he won't see him. But Heechul is there, sitting where he usually sits. He's leaning against the truck of the tree, eyes closed, whistling a happy tune, smile peaceful and real.

"Auntie and Uncle are gonna come for me later," Hankyung says, looking intently at his friend. Heechul looks up at him lazily, then he stands up, brushing stray leaves and dust from his shirt and pants. Hankyung can practically hear the sound Heechul makes, can honestly feel him move and by god does that look real enough for Hankyung.

"You're leaving?"

Hankyung nods but even though he feels like crying, he swallows the tears down and firmly says, "Yes. I'm gonna go to China, so that my parents will be with me more often, but I'll come back. I promise, I'll come back. Will you still be here when I come back?"

Heechul frowns, then he looks down and sighs. "Hannie, I don't think I can."

Hankyung can't help it he yells, "Yes, yes, you can! You... It's just like in Joo Rin noona's story! Geppeto made a wish to make his puppet real. And I'm a good boy, right? You told me I was! If I make a wish with all my heart and with all my soul, if I wished hard enough to make you real, then you're gonna be! You'll see!"

"Hankyung, what are you talk--,"

"You're her son, aren't you?" Hankyung says, "You're her Heenim."

Heechul doesn't say anything for a while, then he sighs and answers, "Yes, and no. Hannie, I look like him but I'm not him. Her Heechul's dead, long gone. I may look like him but I'm still me."

Hankyung is confused by the explanation, but before he can ask what Heechul meant, Heechul smiles sadly at him. Hankyung notices Heechul move towards him, feels his hands grip his shoulders tight, feels their foreheads touch and everything, all of it, all seem so, so real. "Hankyung," Heechul whispers, "I don't want you to hurt. Magic doesn't exist. There's no such thing."

"Yes!" Hankyung yells, "Yes there is! Because if there isn't... if there isn't, then. Then, how are you here?! How come you're here if you're not her Heenim?! If magic isn't real then... then who else is gonna make me feel better? Who else is gonna make me laugh and make me feel not alone? If I can't make you real, who else is gonna make me forget about, about the fire? About the burning metal and rubber and... Heechul hyung," Hankyung pleads, tears falling continuously in streams, "You hafta come with me. You hafta believe I'll make you real. You have to, hyung! Without you, who else is gonna say I'm the second coolest kid in the world?"

"Aw, Hannie," Heechul says, voice soft now, like he's about to disappear, "You'll be okay, you'll see. You're gonna be the coolest kid on the planet when you grow up. I know that. I know it. You'll be okay without me, Hannie. You'll be okay."

Hankyung frowns, then he shakes his head and stubbornly wipes his tears away, "I'm gonna go now, hyung. But I will make you real. That's a promise. I'll make you real."

"Hannie..."

"I will make you real! I swear I will!" Hankyung yells. Then with one last look at his friend, trying to commit everything into memory, he nods and runs away from the garden.

It took only one wish for Geppeto to make Pinocchio real. Hankyung doesn't know how many wishes he has to make, but he's going to make as much as it needs to make it happen.

Geng stays in China for years.

He's made many friends there and his Auntie and Uncle have become family. He's happy and loved and feels he's the luckiest man on the planet.

One summer, mom tells him Joo Rin noona has passed away. Tears fall for the noona that had, so many years ago, helped him be the person he is today. He smiles wetly and asks how had it happened.

She tells him Joo Rin is old, older than she and his dad, older and had had a full life and content with what she had had. Joo Rin had passed without pain, passed in her sleep surrounded by friends new and old, friendships she had rekindled soon after they left. His mom pulls him to her, whispers how he had been good to noona and how the stay with her had pulled him out of his shell that was the start of the man he had become. She tightens her arms around him and says, "Do you want to attend the funeral?"

And so he finds himself in front of the house that he had once thought terrifying, holding flowers for the woman who had once told him fascinating tales before he fell asleep. He had asked his parents to come here, after the funeral. So while they waited for him in the hotel, he took his time, remembering as he walked through once huge hallways and rooms.

At last, he finds himself out in the back. He fully expects the garden to be wild and unkempt, but the grass has been freshly cut, the flowers already watered, ground clean of fallen leaves. He stares, amazed that it is exactly the same as he remembered it to be.

Suddenly, he hears footsteps behind him. And then a voice, older, deeper than what he remembers "Took you long enough, Hannie."

He turns. And his face breaks into a wide, bright smile.

"I told you," Geng says, laughing as he ran towards the other man, "I told you I'd make you real."

---

AN: Errr, yeah. Please forgive my craziness.XD