Distract me from my thoughts, once more.

[nymphadorauror]

Date: Thursday May 18, 2000
Time: 6ish pm
Place: London, Charlie’s shack
Characters Involved: Charlie and Tonks
Rating: PG-13?
Complete

Comments

[nymphadorauror]

Tonks witnessed Charlie’s actions again; the way he was drinking and his expressions easily told her this was something serious. It made her question herself, wondering if she was making Charlie uncomfortable by just asking him about this mystery woman. -- And why did Tonks care, anyway? She knew Charlie’s life was full of women, what was one more to the list?

She eased into her chair, trying to calm her confusion as Tonks listened to Charlie begin the tale- but he ended his introduction with an odd fact. How old? Age difference was not something Tonks ever worried about, not with men she began to love, but Charlie? Since when did he not care? Was this woman not just another one nighter? Had he loved her as Tonks had loved (and still did) someone older than she? Much older

[charlie_weasel]

Charlie inwardly screamed at himself for being so-- so emotional about this. It wasn't that he minded emotions or showing them-- Normally. But this wasn't normal; Charlie sharing details about something he was trying very hard to forget to Tonks was not normal. It was so far from it.

To give himself a moment to think about Tonks' questions (which were really much closer to accusations), Charlie forced himself to drink what he had slowly. His throat seared and surprised Charlie by not bursting into flame.

"I-" Had he just choked up? Charlie blamed it on the drink. "Yes. I did. I think she was the first person, too. At least, the first I loved honestly. Sometimes-" His pulled a small smile. "I say things."

As if this was news to Tonks. Ha.
Charlie felt the small buzz move from the back of his head to behind his eyes.

If you cry, Charlie A. Weasley, he warned himself. I'll kill you. His rational thought had stepped out for the moment.

[nymphadorauror]

Tonks watched Charlie with unblinking eyes, not sure what she was seeing was believable, or if her drink was affecting her perception. But Charlie spoke, and his voice mimicked his troublesome expression, and the tone was unmistakable. Something horrible had happened, for why else would it be so hard for him to talk about it. Tonks realized this wasn’t something he told just any one, by the way he kept drinking his fill.

“Charlie… you don’t have to tell me anymore… I mean it’s not right for me to prod at this because of my own curiosity. Seems like both of our ‘first’s’ went horribly wrong…” She tilted her head. This was a subtle way of asking him if something bad had happened by her assumptive speech. If he agreed, then she knew what she was piecing together was correct.

“You say things, eh? Charlie Weasley depends on false words to get what he wants?” She teased lightly; even her voice was sort, trying to ease away the uncomfortable things she presumed Charlie was feeling.

[charlie_weasel]

Charlie gave Tonks a smile and a small wink, teasingly. Her words had let some of the tension out of the air and he'd felt suddenly relaxed- or at least, a little more relaxed. It was like pressure had been sucked away and gave him room to move. "That's right. And usually, it works."

Shifting to a slightly more comfortable position in the hard chair, Charlie heaved a sigh and swirled the small amount of liqour left at the bottom of his glass around. He looked preoccupied. "It wasn't 'wrong' at first. I mean. We got on well. I moved in after a few months- although, it wasn't really a 'move,' as I was there most of the time anyway."

An urge to put his hands over his face forced Charlie to pour himself another drink. "But really. Everything was mint. I mean, sure we had rows and such, but only occasionally. And then-"

He couldn't even say it. How pathetic.

Charlie sipped from his cup. His face was oddly blank, while he fought to keep tragic expressions off. How unnecessary.

[nymphadorauror]

“Too bad it doesn’t work on me, right?” Tonks replied with a smirk, hiding back the true amusement from her words with a tight press of her lips. But then her expression eased away when she listened to more of Charlie’s past.

He had things go well in the beginning? Tonks couldn’t imagine what that was like, for nothing she ever went for worked out for her. Nothing. Nothing concerning the emotions of the heart at least. But she was no stranger to the pain of a broken heart; of feelings of rejection or hopelessness when things don’t go the way you want them to. She knew how much it hurt. And when Charlie stopped talking, she already knew it wasn’t because he needed to take a drink

[charlie_weasel]

Charlie gazed steadily at Tonks while she spoke to him- her tones, he noted, were worried. Surely it was unfair of him to unload these sorts of feelings on her... but... she kept asking- if she stopped, Charlie told himself, he would too.

Without realising it, Charlie began to worry on his lip, but stopped after feeling a small shoot of pain. "Right. Because of her. It was very sudden. Honestly, the exact happenings are all rather- blurry in my mind." It was strange how he remembered Viorica. Some memories were clear- as if they'd only just happened- and others were almost completely blacked-out. "I just know that one day everything seemed ace- and then, next thing I come home and find her-"

He stopped again, but this time, forced himself to continue (after a swallow). "Well. You can imagine, I'm sure. She was with another man. --She didn't even bother to lock the fucking door."

[nymphadorauror]

Soon everything was out in the open. The last bit of Charlie’s words seemed to happen almost in a slow progression, as if time had slowed down considerably while he told her the worst of it. And Tonks' facial expression moved just a slow, from a concerned display into a rather alarmed and exceedingly horrified stare. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she really couldn’t. This girl, this woman whom Charlie confessed to love, to love for the first time, had gone against him into the arms of another man? Just like that? No warning, no signs? No words? What the bloody hell had happened

[charlie_weasel]

After having spewed out (that's how he felt it went) the last of his jaunty, little story, Charlie again sat back in the chair and watched as a strangly edgy Tonks paced in front of him.

He nodded quietly, knowing just how pathetic it was that he'd returned. Then- Tonks stopped in her tracks and faced him. After a small coughing fit (during which Charlie finished off his drink), Tonks started grilling him again- her tones agitated and tense.

"Er. Yes, I went back- I don't really have to tell you, do I? I mean. She asked me to come back...-" Charlie looked upon his empty glass like it was one of the saddest things in the world. "I almost stayed again."

[nymphadorauror]

“What?!” Tonks replied with a shattering shriek, before she crouched down in front of Charlie and put a hand on the armrest of his chair to balance her shaky legs. She got out most of her shock with her yell- and now she could try to figure out what the bloody hell was wrong with Charlie to make him do such a thing.

“Why, Charlie? Why did you go back to her? Do you mean to tell me after everything she did…. You still love her?” Tonks was staring at Charlie intensely, searching his face for any sign that there was some reason behind his senseless actions. Nothing was telling her anything, and it was frustrating.

She leaned closer to him and put her other hand on his knee.
“How can you love someone who hurt you like that?!” Her voice was concerned, softer now then it had been before. She figured if she kept shrieking, he wouldn’t answer.

[charlie_weasel]

It was lucky for Tonks that Charlie had had as much to drink as he did- otherwise, being as tightly wound as he was, he probably would have shot through the roof with her shrieks. Nonetheless, his eyes widened to a dangerous circumference- but watched as Tonks crouched in front of him and steadied herself on his chair.

She was very close.

"I never said I still loved her," He said in a voice that betrayed him. "I think I did when I went back, but now- now I don't. And I went back because she asked me back."

Charlie's voice seemed to falter. He tried to think of something other than Tonks' hand on his knee. (Of course, Charlie knew he really shouldn't be thinking of another girl while talking about Viorica, but.)

[nymphadorauror]

Tonks had to force herself to sigh. A big sigh. A sigh that would put to shame any sigh she ever did, because she was very disturbed with Charlie and his entire situation right now. So much so, the liquor in her belly was certainly to blame.

“Charlie…. You left everyone because she asked you back?” Just that one question alone was making her get angry again. But why? Why the heck did she care if he wanted to love some stupid whore that didn’t have anything better to do then screw with Charlie? No- that was why. Some girl was screwing around with Charlie. Hurting him like it was a casual thing to do. That, of course was upsetting Tonks, but he had it coming if he went back to her. He knew what she was like… so why couldn’t he have said ‘no’. It is easy.. just one word and he wouldn’t have had to deal with that woman

[charlie_weasel]

"I-" Charlie really didn't feel like getting angry. Just trying to explain things (which he hadn't really done but...) was draining. It was much easier, he figured, to keep to yourself.

But... was it his imagination, or was Tonks a little jealous?
Charlie had to force his mind away from prospects and back to the questions Tonks was again firing at him.

"Well." It sounded so- dick-headed of him, when Tonks put it like that. He frowned a little. "She did mess with me again- but I had that coming, I must say. --And, honestly, yes- I would have stayed. But. Please- I know. Don't lecture me."

Charlie was talking in a rather weary way- and he wasn't trying to be rude, but really, he couldn't handle being yelled at about something he knew was stupid.

[nymphadorauror]

The way he answered her did direct her to put herself in check, but it took a moment of staring at him and being upset at his decisions before Tonks could ease off the questioning dance. She sighed again and leaned away to just sit on the floor, a few inches away from his feet. One of her hands smacked the side of her face as she forced herself to calm down. What a wonderful reaction, she could definitely be counted on to be a friend to another, and listen to problem and support and comfort, couldn’t she. Now she felt disgusted with herself, and couldn’t understand why she was so rude.

“I’m…. I’m sorry Charlie… I didn’t mean to make you feel stupid. I just… I mean, if anyone hurt me like that… I wouldn’t even be able to look at them again. No one should do that to another… no one has the right to hurt another person in such a way. I don’t think…. And I wish I would have known about this sooner to perhaps stop it from happening again. But… I’m sorry… I’ll stop… I promise.” She lowered her eyes to the floor and shook her head, and then

[charlie_weasel]

Before Tonks shuffled towards him on her knees, Charlie had began to nullify Tonks' apologies. Really, it wasn't her fault she'd reacted like she had. She'd been drinking and- well, it was stupid. And she really did look sorry.

"No. It's all right." He said, a slight slur seeming to surface suddenly. (Try saying that ten times fast.) "I- I don't usually think about things like that. She asked, so I went-"

His friend approached him on her knees, arms outstretched. He smiled- and sliding out of his (uncomfortable) chair, landing in front of Tonks, he allowed himself to be embraced.

[nymphadorauror]

She gave him a big squeeze, possibly trying to vent out the last of her frustrations with him in that action, but also Tonks wanted to let Charlie know she was really sorry for jumping on his case like that, and was already regretting it. He never did such a thing with her, a long while ago, when she confessed her stupidity about actions of the heart. Truly, she felt like she had been the biggest wanker on earth, and surpassed Charlie in that area. Who’d of thought?

She let him go and shook her head. “No… no, you don’t have to explain yourself… sometimes we all do stupid things when we think with our hearts and not our heads…right?” She lifted her eyes to give Charlie a questionable look.

“I still don’t think highly of that woman though… and never will. She better not come to London… ever.” Tonks said with a scowl, as she lowered her eyes to the floor, and her body down to rest on the heels of her feet.

[charlie_weasel]

Charlie, despite the noise of close-to-cracking ribs he could hear with disturbing clarity, squeezed Tonks back. She was right- Charlie had to admit, she did give good hugs, albeit a little strong-armed.

"Right." Confirmed Charlie, after releasing her, and giving her a reassuring smile. "Really, though. It's fine."

Unsteadily, he climbed to his feet (with a lot of help from his chair). "Don't worry, love," he hiccuped, grabbing whatever bottle happened to be next in the box. He exaimed it with a drunk's slow consideration. "She won't. Drink-? Wait."

With a frown, Charlie set the bottle down and slid back into his chair. "What would you do, if she did came?"

As improper (as if etiquette ever mattered to Charlie..) as it was, Charlie's mind instantly yelled out 'Cat fight!'