Comments | fiery_inception: A Move to Remember

inner_human in fiery_inception

A Move to Remember

Apr 28, 2007 18:10

Date: Saturday, April 28, 2001
Time: Night
Location: Number 8 Ambrose Terrace, York
Characters Involved: Peregrin Derrick, Pansy Parkinson, invitation only
Rating: PG-13 (for the most part)

( 'It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.' ~Rita Rudner )

status: complete, status: invitation only, character: pansy parkinson, character: perry derrick

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freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 22:45:39 UTC

It was new and strange, but in a different way than it was for Perry. Pansy had moved into new and empty places before - she’d had her own flat at eighteen (just). But before, she’d seen the bare walls, pristine and blank and… scary, for only one day. Not even that. Just a few hours to measure up for curtains and shelves and personality ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 22:46:27 UTC

Oh shit, had he really?? And... like that! That wasn't even how he'd been planning to bring it up, you don't just present these things like casual suggestions, they were proposed down on one knee with a ring and all-but wait, he hadn't been meaning to go that far in the first place! He was just asking-it was supposed to be a question. More like, 'Do you think we should get married?' or 'Now we've got a house, do you want to start thinking about the future more ( ... )

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 22:47:17 UTC

Too damn right you didn’t propose to someone like that! Pansy knew that Perry was unconventional, that he liked to go against conceived wisdom but to just - fling the idea out there, like he’d proposed buying some new crockery or a plant pot. And then to say it was a “logical step”! What the fuck was he, suicidal ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 22:49:04 UTC

Well, that was the problem with Pansy. She always had such a fairytale picture of what she expected out of life, what she wanted others to say to her and how they should treat her. But Perry's existence was not picturesque in the slightest. It wasn't as if he'd been planning to ask her "like that." There was no point in even trying to explain himself right now, so he simply waited until she had finished.

Was she serious? Did she really want him to repeat it? He wasn't going to.

He sighed, sat up and pushed his hands through his hair. "I wasn't-fuck. I just wanted to talk about it." Is that all right with you, Princess Parkinson?

...Thank goodness he was able to keep that thought to himself. His fingers combed through his hair to the back of his neck where they interlocked, and he glanced away, puzzling out his next words. Now he was wishing he'd just kept his mouth shut. He obviously needed more time to think this through ( ... )

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 22:52:35 UTC

“If you just wanted to talk about it, why the sullen silence all day? And why bring it up like that!?”

Of course Pansy had a fairytale ideal of how she wanted her proposal to go. No little girl draped a pillowcase on her head and ‘married’ her favourite teddy bear in the hopes that one day a man would turn to her part-way through unwrapping an ornament and mutter, “Let’s get married.” Christ, it wasn’t even a request. It didn’t even give the option for a beautiful refusal - or a beautiful acceptance. It was either go along for the ride or jump out.

Really, she wasn’t unreasonable. Her entire outlook on life had changed incomprehensibly in the last twelve months. She didn’t expect the kind of upper class arrangement her mother had (attempted to) groom her for. She didn’t want champagne and fireworks and sky-writing - or rather, she wanted it, but in the same way that she might wish on birthday cake candles. What she really wanted was a little romance. Pansy knew that Perry loved her, just as well as she knew that she loved him - ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 22:53:51 UTC

No, this was definitely not how this was supposed to go. What should have been an intimate and thoughtful conversation was turning into another fight, and hell, how was he supposed to answer any of that? Why was she railing against him-not about the proposal suggestion, oh no, but about how he proposed suggested it!

Perry obviously didn't think of marriage the same way she did. He wasn't looking for a fairytale at all; it was a practical thing. Men married to form alliances, to further their social and professional goals-maybe occasionally because you'd taken a liking to a particular girl, and she happened to be of the right lineage. It wasn't a matter of love and loyalty so much as a matter of convenience. No man (no real man, anyway) ever really wanted to get married. Perry would've been perfectly happy for them to just continue their relationship without the fuss of flowery vows and a ceremony ( ... )

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 22:54:45 UTC

Of course Pansy too understood the alliance side of pureblooded marriages. Her own mother had been affianced to a man much older while still in school. Had the war not overturned old social values, Pansy’s own fate might not have been so very different. That and her bloody-mindedness.

She didn’t want a cold clinical lineage match. She didn’t want a marriage that was ‘a matter of convenience’. And she most definitely did not want Perry to be offering her a proposal of marriage because he felt as though it was somehow his duty, because of what she had given up for him. Because somehow he was failing in what he thought he should be and maybe being her husband would make it easier. As though a marriage certificate would just be piece of paper to paste over the cracks in their relationship. Hell, if he couldn’t even propose to her without it descending into angry farce, how could they expect to have a successful married life ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 22:55:45 UTC

Oh, right, like he was going to fall for that. Say "I love you"-to Pansy? How many times had he told her that and not heard it back? Was she forgetting every time they'd fought about those stupid three words in the past? Well, this was certainly a pot and kettle moment, expecting him to concede-yet again-when she too was playing her cards so close to her chest ( ... )

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 22:56:56 UTC

… Or maybe she was going to scream and throw things.
It was a gift really. How could he exasperate her to the point of tantrum while remaining stonily cool? The longer this conversation continued, the more exaggerated she felt her emotions become. It was like socializing with her mother and deliberately disappointing her, just trying to get a response.

When Perry and Pansy had first started going out, she’d seemed to spend a huge proportion of her time just trying to follow his thought processes, to understand his concerns and his needs and his dreams. A few months ago, she’d felt as though they’d turned a corner - that finally, they knew where they stood. Now, she was back to square one. She didn’t have the first damn clue what Perry thought he was doing here.

Why!? Why would he think, Yes I want to marry her but… hey, let’s ask her this way? To hell with everybody else - to hell with it all. I want to break her heart while I’m doing it! What the fuck was he doing, having a brain hemorrhage?! Sometimes it felt like there were ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 23:00:25 UTC

Did it really matter just how he phrased it? Perry didn't like words; he was never good with them, and really how he brought up the topic wasn't what was important, here.

He almost ignored her, or wanted to try, anyway, but Pansy's bloody tantrums always got under his skin. She knew how to pick her words too well... eh, it was just too fitting that they'd mark the first day in their new house with a fight. He missed his opportunity to respond to the rest, but upon realizing where she was going he leapt up to head her off. And immediately he was hit with a sense of deja vu, of having enacted this same motion in a very similar situation not too long ago. That caused him to pause briefly.

He didn't try to get in her way. Instead his hand shot for her arm. "Dammit, if you'd stop turning simple conversations into huge fecking shows maybe things wouldn't be so difficult!"

The sad thing was... he really didn't know what they were fighting about.

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 23:01:01 UTC

Of course he wasn’t just going to let her have the last word and walk away. But did he really have to grab?! Pansy looked down at his hand and raised an eyebrow.

“Do you mind? I was in the middle of storming out.”

Well, this argument was shaping up to be a good one. It had been ages since Perry and Pansy had really let rip and now Pansy could - ugh, she was in control, she was! But barely. He was making this all about her when she was simply an innocent bystander who’d been dragged along. Perry would say that Pansy always blamed him but this time she was right! After all, it wasn’t as though she’d pissed all over what should have been one of the happiest moments of his life now, was it?

“Oh, come off it, Perry! This isn’t a ‘simple conversation’ or it isn’t for any normal person. This is a huge fucking deal so don’t try and pretend like I’m making a fuss over nothing. You just - I still can’t believe you did that!” She paused, to fling her hair back. “Did you mean to ask me to marry you, or were you really going to ask if I ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 23:02:17 UTC

"What's the 'huge fucking deal'?!"

He loosened his grip... but he didn't let go. You know, just in case she still planned on storming out. Damn right she wasn't going to have the last word.

Indeed, it had been so long since they'd had an actual, all-out row that for a moment he felt completely outside of himself, like he was a spectator watching from the sidelines. But it really was his hand holding her arm, and his temper threatening to flare. In the past, when they first got together, it was easy to get caught up in Pansy's tantrums. Still was, really. But now he found he was better able to think through her outbursts. And the more he actually listened to what she was saying, the more fight drained out of him.

So he wasn't yelling... not loudly, anyway. And he wasn't tightening his grip. He was staring right at her, right into her, and trying to control the beat of his heart, and truly, earnestly trying to understand what the big deal was.

"I told you, I wasn't asking anything, I just wanted to discuss it! So call me ( ... )

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 23:02:57 UTC

Momentarily, she lost it.

“Asking me to marry you is the huge fucking deal!” Pansy shrieked and then took a deep breath. Thank goodness Perry was relinquishing his grip on her arm because the last thing she wanted was to be in close contact with him right now. She might punch him.

While his hand disappeared though, his eyes held her still, glaring at her and it seemed so ridiculous that he could be looking so straight and so hard into her mind and yet still not get it. The flaring anger died down again to just a touch below white-hot and Pansy wasn’t really sure which was worse - the flash in the pan or the slow searing heat. It meant she could consider what he was saying, however, and attempt a reasonable response ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 23:03:52 UTC

"Not as big as you're making it." Sure, Pansy was determined to think that he was wrong, he'd completely missed her point and was simplyfing the issue, but hey, Perry could be stubborn too! He hadn't simplified anything; she was just complicating it.

He remained standing as she went through the list, his spine going a little rigid when she stumbled. Yeah, he knew what she was trying to say. He slipped his hands into his pockets and looked away briefly, listening while still trying to hold onto his own thoughts. His expression grew more serious, solemn, and it would seem that he really hadn't thought any of this through. No, it wasn't a very simple matter-but then, when had anything about them ever been simple ( ... )

freakedwithjet April 28 2007, 23:04:52 UTC

She just shrugged at Perry’s assessment of her position with her family and almost left it at that. It was - she couldn’t… Christ, coherent thought was difficult enough, never mind saying it out loud. But that dig about her going back when she “got bored” - Pansy didn’t care if Perry said it with as little accusation as he could manage, at the end of the day there was accusation there and it stung.

Crossing her legs, she turned around so that she was facing him on the bed. Her left hand cupped her chin as she said, faux-lightly, “Well, that was offensive. No, Perry, I did not expect them to take me back with open arms ‘when I got bored’. But you do realize-marrying you, becoming a Derrick. It would be pretty much burning all my bridges at once. And I know they’re soddy and bigoted but they are my parents!” Pansy’s voice was close to cracking and she quickly left that topic and moved on.

And what did she think the Pack thought of Perry ‘taking her on’? Not that they’d seemed very against the idea but there had been some attitude ( ... )

inner_human April 28 2007, 23:05:46 UTC

Heh, sure, she was offended, but she took the opportunity to prove his point, didn't she? Insulting his family name, his very identity? His head was so filled with that alone that for quite a time he could do nothing more than stare blankly at the wall.

What was he thinking, anyway? Why did he constantly let Pansy drag him into these situations (because it was obviously all her fault)? He let his guard down enough to think that perhaps he could read her, that they could see eye-to-eye on something, only to prove that he was a complete moron. For all her tantrums and emotional outbursts, Pansy always seemed to be more in control.

He dragged a hand through his hair, momentarily lifting the curls from his eyes... but he didn't look at her. "Yeah." The corner of his mouth quirked into a grin briefly and very little sound came out. He was tired of talking. "Yeah, you're right. Forget I said anything." Where'd he leave that decoration he'd been unwrapping?

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