(no subject)
So i got Weird Als new album today, and theres a cover of R. Kellys Trapped in the Closet, its called Trapped in the Drive-Thru.. and im going to type out the lyrics now and you imagine that your singing it while you read, and it will be the best time youve had all week..
well anyway, here goes..
7:00 in the evening, watchin somethin stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa when my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, "Is this 'Behind the Music' with Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I dont know.. say, its getting late, watcha wanna do for dinner?"
She says, "I kinda had a big lunch, so im not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know baby, im not starving either, but i could eat"
She says, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I dont know, what about you?"
She says, "I dont care, if youre hungry, lets eat"
I said, "Thats what were gonna do...
"But first you gotta tell me what it is youre hungry for"
And she says, "Lemme think, whats left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well theres tuna i know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday"
I hopped up and said, "I dont know, do you wanna get something delivered?"
And shes like, "Why would i wanna eat liver? I dont even like liver"
Im like, "No i said delivered"
Shes like, "I heard you say liver"
Im like, "I should know what i said"
Shes like, "Whatever.. i just dont want any liver"
Well, i was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who would be callin me?
Well, i checked my Caller ID
It was just cousin Larry callin for the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voice mail"
I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right.. so what do you wanna do?"
She says, "Why dont you whip up something in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why dont you?"
And then she said, "Baby, cant we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says "No," she says "Yes," I says "No," she says "Yes,"
I says "No," she says "Yes.. oh heres your keys"
I step a little bit closer
and say, "Okay, where you wanna go?"
She says, "How bout The Ivy?"
I said, "Yea, well, i dont know..
"I dont feel like getting all dressed up and eating expensive food"
She says, "Olive garden?"
I say, "Nah, im not in the mood..
"And Burrito King would make me gassy, theres no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I say, "No, i swear im gonna take you out"
Then i get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do.."
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess," She says "WHAT?!"
I say, "We're going to the drive-thru"
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then i open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then i turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive-thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did i mention the drive-thru?
Okay thats enough for now, but theres a bunch more coming later..
end.
well anyway, here goes..
7:00 in the evening, watchin somethin stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa when my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, "Is this 'Behind the Music' with Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I dont know.. say, its getting late, watcha wanna do for dinner?"
She says, "I kinda had a big lunch, so im not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know baby, im not starving either, but i could eat"
She says, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I dont know, what about you?"
She says, "I dont care, if youre hungry, lets eat"
I said, "Thats what were gonna do...
"But first you gotta tell me what it is youre hungry for"
And she says, "Lemme think, whats left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well theres tuna i know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday"
I hopped up and said, "I dont know, do you wanna get something delivered?"
And shes like, "Why would i wanna eat liver? I dont even like liver"
Im like, "No i said delivered"
Shes like, "I heard you say liver"
Im like, "I should know what i said"
Shes like, "Whatever.. i just dont want any liver"
Well, i was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who would be callin me?
Well, i checked my Caller ID
It was just cousin Larry callin for the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voice mail"
I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right.. so what do you wanna do?"
She says, "Why dont you whip up something in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why dont you?"
And then she said, "Baby, cant we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says "No," she says "Yes," I says "No," she says "Yes,"
I says "No," she says "Yes.. oh heres your keys"
I step a little bit closer
and say, "Okay, where you wanna go?"
She says, "How bout The Ivy?"
I said, "Yea, well, i dont know..
"I dont feel like getting all dressed up and eating expensive food"
She says, "Olive garden?"
I say, "Nah, im not in the mood..
"And Burrito King would make me gassy, theres no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I say, "No, i swear im gonna take you out"
Then i get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do.."
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess," She says "WHAT?!"
I say, "We're going to the drive-thru"
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then i open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then i turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive-thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did i mention the drive-thru?
Okay thats enough for now, but theres a bunch more coming later..
end.