SPN FIC - Evicted

[ficwriter1966]

Whew.  Told ya the Muse had gone dark.  I think we need to lure her back into the light.  But in the meantime, sink your teeth into this.  (Three drabbles.)

Characters:  Dean, Sam, John, Cassie, Lilith
Genre: Gen
Rating:  PG
Spoilers:  3.16
Length:  300 words

EVICTED
By Carol Davis

They’ve got one hour to get all their stuff out of the apartment, the

Comments

[mikis53]

Ouch! They all hurt, but the last one.... You know I hadn't thought about it, but Dean did die alone afterall. Sam was across the room trying to get away from Lilith. Now I'm really depressed.

[ficwriter1966]

That occurred to me when I re-watched the episode a couple weeks ago. Sam was so focused on Lilith that he paid no attention to Dean's actual death. Then when you think back to Mystery Spot, when (during Dean's first death) he stared right at Sam... Ouch.

[saberivojo]

Dark?

That last one is positivley a black hole.

So much punch in so few words. Well done but so, so heartbreaking.

[ficwriter1966]

The Muse needs cheering up. We need to tell her that Bruce Wayne can deal with his own problems.

[morganslady]

So few words,so much emotion..

[ficwriter1966]

Thank you...

[iamstealthyone]

Good job on all of these. You nicely conveyed a sense of loss with each one.

Favorite lines:

Their duffels and pillows and blankets and a box of Sammy’s toys are piled neatly alongside them.

Such a sad little image, the boys with all their stuff out on the curb.

When he says “we” he means himself and Dad and Sam, because Sam will come back one day. He has to.

Oh, Dean.

He holds back only one thing. He says nothing about Mom.

I really like that he doesn’t share this aspect of his life. It feels right that he’d keep it private from Cassie.

and he’s peed himself again, he thinks. But maybe it’s just blood.

Graphic and very effective details. There’s no hope for him at this point, and he knows it.

G’bye, Sammy, he thinks.

And lets go.

*whimpers*

[ficwriter1966]

For that last bit - I thought of Henriksen saying, "You'll never see each other again," and the obvious pain that caused. This is it for Dean - he knows he'll never see Sam again. Doesn't WANT to see Sam again, if it means Sam being in Hell.

I never thought I could do drabbles - thought they were too short for my usual style. But it's like building a puzzle, putting everything you want to say into exactly 100 words. Glad you liked them!

[iamstealthyone]

I never thought I could do drabbles - thought they were too short for my usual style. But it's like building a puzzle, putting everything you want to say into exactly 100 words.

*nods* They're really cool to write in terms of seeing how much you can convey in such a short space.

[ficwriter1966]

It's the perfect example of "Make every word count." Although sometimes I'll plug in a word or two that's not specifically *needed* just to hit that 100.

[kimmer1227]

Those were really dark. That last one sheesh. But the first depressed me the most. The idea of young Dean dealing with the humiliation and fear of being kicked out of the apartment just breaks my heart. Not knowing when John was gonna return. He learned so young not to trust in the stability of anything. Oh, Dean.

[ficwriter1966]

Look at you with the new icons!! Lemme see what I can do with those pictures you sent me. I had planned on doing a little yard work today, but the humidity's about 800%.

I started to think, if there's an adult around, the landlord's got to give you 30 days or 90 days or whatever it is. But with these little kids, and John being gone - I set the landlord up to bully Dean into getting OUT. And what's Dean gonna do? Shoot him with the salt gun? Poor baby.

We need to cheer Sharon up. She's taken to wearing too much black.

[kimmer1227]

Look at you with the new icons!!

You likey? I was totally possessed Friday night. I was on a rampage. I think I made 25 or something. I looked at the clock, and it was 2:30am! I only kept a couple old ones, and they're on life support. Don't worry about the pics. I'm sooo over them. Well, maybe not the eyelashes of love, but only if you're bored. Maybe I'll find the love again, after you make them all shiny and new.

Damnit! I was at Walmart yesterday, and forgot to price Paint Shop. I'll just go ahead and get it from Amazon. I think I need the newer one cos' of Vista, but it wasn't that much of a price difference anyway.

Sharon looks awesome in black!

[kimmer1227]

Wow! You're fast.

Thanks so much.