They'll go away
Fandom: Sherlock
Warnings: Not really none.
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Summary: Sherlock believes his feelings for John will go away. They don't.
Link: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/15638.html?thread=86092310#t86092310
Sherlock has always been good at ignoring his feelings. Or at least, waiting them out.
His first crush was 17 year old Trisha Hampton from secondary school. She was the second youngest, not as pretty daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Hampton, or more commonly known as The Respectable Dentists Down The Street. She put up with him in the way an older sister would put up with a younger brother and Sherlock had developed a strange camaraderie with her that he never had with Mycroft. Sherlock had recognized the feelings but he knew nothing would have come of them. He was after all, 14 and she was 16. He was the 'younger Holmes boy' and a 'freak' whereas she was 'trustworthy Trisha' and 'such a lovely young lady'.
Sherlock watched her graduate and go on to Nottingham, always believing that Sherlock was the little brother she never had. A month after her departure, Sherlock was relieved to find that the feelings had started to fade.
His second crush was 18 year old Lionel Barton. Lionel Barton was his so called 'unfortunate roommate' that had shown him around campus because Lionel was afraid the security might kick Sherlock out thinking he was trespassing. After all, it wasn't every day a 16 year old got into university earlier than the rest of the people. It didn't help that Sherlock hadn't quite hit his growth spurt and was still shorter than a lot of the other boys.
Lionel Barton had been accepting of the fact that Sherlock also admired boys in addition to girls and he didn't seem to mind when Sherlock set up a small 'experiment' section in their room. In fact, Lionel was pretty hard to put off. He seldom, if ever, got angry at anyone. The most he did was to blink twice and then say 'Oh, um... I guess if that's what you like....'
Sherlock didn't want to jeopardize having such an accommodating roommate that he scarcely said anything about his feelings. He stewed, knowing from the smell of perfume and the shoes wiped clean on someone else's welcome mat, that Lionel found a girlfriend. Lionel married her. Her name was Yvonne Martin and Sherlock was glad when the feelings faded.
His third crush was 19 year old Victor Trevor. They were the same age but in different classes. Victor was in his second year, having entered University at age 18, whereas Sherlock was in his final year and busy writing two thesis at the same time. Sherlock had discovered that Victor was as brilliant, if not more so, than he was. Although, the other boy was more inclined to fanciful flights of imagination than really applying himself in the real world. Victor was more inclined to draw and paint and sculpt with amazing precision than to spend his days in a lab, combining chemicals.
He was also, quite a bit of a madcap and daredevil. Unfortunately, he was also very much asexual. Sherlock had come to note this when he had arrived at Victor's nude drawing class and realised that Victor was painting with a manner that didn't just transcend subjectivity, but also desire and sexuality.
There was also, Victor's favourite words 'There is sex, it is normal, it is needed but that is all. It is like eating. I do it if I need to but if I do not feel hungry, why should I eat? I do not feel the desire, so I do not have sex. It is normal. It is right. I do not over indulge.'
Sherlock was glad when he graduated and he managed to ignore the feelings for one Victor Trevor.
Sherlock is understandably frustrated when he develops a liking for Dr. John Watson, ex army-medic, amazing crack shot and all around flatmate extraordinaire almost right off the bat. He is embarrassed when John picks up on his predilections and deduces his little secret.
"Do you like me?" John asks him over tea one day, when Sherlock hadn't managed to avert his gaze quickly enough. His silence is proof and evidence enough. John merely does that thing where he widens his eyes and blinks twice as if he should have seen it coming. He lets out an awkward chuckle and says "I thought you were asexual."
"Demi, if you want to classify it somehow." Sherlock offers the term. He looks down at his tea, feeling exposed even though he's in his suit. "I won't let it get in the way. They'll go away. They always do." He assures the doctor. John raises an eyebrow. Sherlock flushes red. It's uncomfortable because all his previous crushes faded when they moved away or he left.
John isn't leaving.
Sherlock may not have had a lot of experience with relationships but he did know from overheard conversations and a little bit of research that seeing the person you have feelings for every day isn't a good thing.
"I'll delete it or something." Sherlock adds when John doesn't say anything for too long.
John pushes himself to his feet with a grunt and Sherlock is afraid he'll leave. Just walk out the door and never come back. John is, after all, straight.
Sherlock is pleasantly surprised when John leans over him and plants a kiss on his forehead.
"I hope they don't go away." John whispers with a smile.
Sherlock can only look up at him in wonder, holding on to his feelings for the very first time, and say "John, I think I love you."
When John laughs and says them back, Sherlock knows this time, the feelings won't go away.
Warnings: Not really none.
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Summary: Sherlock believes his feelings for John will go away. They don't.
Link: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/15638.html?thread=86092310#t86092310
Sherlock has always been good at ignoring his feelings. Or at least, waiting them out.
His first crush was 17 year old Trisha Hampton from secondary school. She was the second youngest, not as pretty daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Hampton, or more commonly known as The Respectable Dentists Down The Street. She put up with him in the way an older sister would put up with a younger brother and Sherlock had developed a strange camaraderie with her that he never had with Mycroft. Sherlock had recognized the feelings but he knew nothing would have come of them. He was after all, 14 and she was 16. He was the 'younger Holmes boy' and a 'freak' whereas she was 'trustworthy Trisha' and 'such a lovely young lady'.
Sherlock watched her graduate and go on to Nottingham, always believing that Sherlock was the little brother she never had. A month after her departure, Sherlock was relieved to find that the feelings had started to fade.
His second crush was 18 year old Lionel Barton. Lionel Barton was his so called 'unfortunate roommate' that had shown him around campus because Lionel was afraid the security might kick Sherlock out thinking he was trespassing. After all, it wasn't every day a 16 year old got into university earlier than the rest of the people. It didn't help that Sherlock hadn't quite hit his growth spurt and was still shorter than a lot of the other boys.
Lionel Barton had been accepting of the fact that Sherlock also admired boys in addition to girls and he didn't seem to mind when Sherlock set up a small 'experiment' section in their room. In fact, Lionel was pretty hard to put off. He seldom, if ever, got angry at anyone. The most he did was to blink twice and then say 'Oh, um... I guess if that's what you like....'
Sherlock didn't want to jeopardize having such an accommodating roommate that he scarcely said anything about his feelings. He stewed, knowing from the smell of perfume and the shoes wiped clean on someone else's welcome mat, that Lionel found a girlfriend. Lionel married her. Her name was Yvonne Martin and Sherlock was glad when the feelings faded.
His third crush was 19 year old Victor Trevor. They were the same age but in different classes. Victor was in his second year, having entered University at age 18, whereas Sherlock was in his final year and busy writing two thesis at the same time. Sherlock had discovered that Victor was as brilliant, if not more so, than he was. Although, the other boy was more inclined to fanciful flights of imagination than really applying himself in the real world. Victor was more inclined to draw and paint and sculpt with amazing precision than to spend his days in a lab, combining chemicals.
He was also, quite a bit of a madcap and daredevil. Unfortunately, he was also very much asexual. Sherlock had come to note this when he had arrived at Victor's nude drawing class and realised that Victor was painting with a manner that didn't just transcend subjectivity, but also desire and sexuality.
There was also, Victor's favourite words 'There is sex, it is normal, it is needed but that is all. It is like eating. I do it if I need to but if I do not feel hungry, why should I eat? I do not feel the desire, so I do not have sex. It is normal. It is right. I do not over indulge.'
Sherlock was glad when he graduated and he managed to ignore the feelings for one Victor Trevor.
Sherlock is understandably frustrated when he develops a liking for Dr. John Watson, ex army-medic, amazing crack shot and all around flatmate extraordinaire almost right off the bat. He is embarrassed when John picks up on his predilections and deduces his little secret.
"Do you like me?" John asks him over tea one day, when Sherlock hadn't managed to avert his gaze quickly enough. His silence is proof and evidence enough. John merely does that thing where he widens his eyes and blinks twice as if he should have seen it coming. He lets out an awkward chuckle and says "I thought you were asexual."
"Demi, if you want to classify it somehow." Sherlock offers the term. He looks down at his tea, feeling exposed even though he's in his suit. "I won't let it get in the way. They'll go away. They always do." He assures the doctor. John raises an eyebrow. Sherlock flushes red. It's uncomfortable because all his previous crushes faded when they moved away or he left.
John isn't leaving.
Sherlock may not have had a lot of experience with relationships but he did know from overheard conversations and a little bit of research that seeing the person you have feelings for every day isn't a good thing.
"I'll delete it or something." Sherlock adds when John doesn't say anything for too long.
John pushes himself to his feet with a grunt and Sherlock is afraid he'll leave. Just walk out the door and never come back. John is, after all, straight.
Sherlock is pleasantly surprised when John leans over him and plants a kiss on his forehead.
"I hope they don't go away." John whispers with a smile.
Sherlock can only look up at him in wonder, holding on to his feelings for the very first time, and say "John, I think I love you."
When John laughs and says them back, Sherlock knows this time, the feelings won't go away.