A bad day
I don't think there's a single word I could say to make myself feel better but I need to vent.
"Life sucks and then you die." That about sums everything up. I am hypocritical and horrible to myself. I am pathetically weak and allowing myself to be put through pains that shouldn't happen. I'm sick of the dreams and the emotions surrounding my mind. I'm honestly disgusted with myself. I say I want to forget and stop feeling but then I cling to every little reminder and long for every little feeling. This is so stupid I feel like beating my head into a brick wall. I carry her pictures, I talk about her all the time, I wear this ring around my neck. WHY?! Why do I do this when she doesn't love me back?! I DON'T WANT TO CARE ANYMORE! I've gone through all of this trouble and haven't made any progress. I'm in just as much pain as I was there and nothing is helping. I'm no better than some pathetic stalker or some boy with an obsessive crush. I hate myself for these feelings.