Oubliette 5/9 (revised)
Chapter 5
After a bit, Tommy left, and Adam and Daniel were alone again. Adam regarded him, wondering many things.
"What is on your mind, love?" Daniel, trying to be gentle and stroking Adam's hair. It felt good to Adam, but he still wanted to talk.
"I've noticed recently that everyone tries to keep this whole 'vampire' thing from me, like you don't want me to remember that I am one. Monte and Tommy said I should talk to you."
Daniel nodded. "There are aspects of our lives that are not so pleasant, Adam. In some ways, I see you as my own child, and I wanted to keep things as simple for you as possible. Just like there are certain things about life a mother hides - or tries to - from her child until they are old enough to know it, the same can be said for vampires. I intended to talk to you. I was just waiting for you to be ready."
"I just want to be normal - a normal vampire, like Tommy or Hayden. I'm not talking about their independence from you; I don't want to move out, but they can take care of themselves. I want to be able to do that, too. Am I moving too fast? Can we at least talk?"
Daniel was slow to respond, but he nodded.
Then Adam added. "I asked to go out with Tommy and Monte this evening while they hunted. They refused and told me to talk about it with you."
"They were right to do so," said Daniel. "And I told them to send you to me if you started asking questions."
Adam nodded and waited.
"We spoke before about drinking blood and the effects it has on vampire. Do you remember? You may have thought I was just referring to you feeding from me or Tommy, but in actuality I was talking about it in general. You can survive on the blood of animals, but it is an awful way to go about it, and you're always left wanting. To drink the blood of one's master or of another vampire is ideal for young ones like you, but as you get older, your instincts to hunt and fend for yourself will surface. They may already have, in the smallest way. After that time, you can still will yourself to drink from me, but you would be thinking of something more - constantly suppressing a challenge within yourself.
"Ultimately, our kind are meant to feed from humans. The hunger inside is not satisfied until we have claimed every drop from our victim. When the time comes for you to hunt, Adam, you're true nature will expect you to kill."
Daniel paused, looking at Adam's nervous expression. Then he lightened his voice. "You are fragile, Dearest, for reasons beyond the limit of your age. You are not ready for such a responsibility, and so I will be here for you, even if you never progress. It's impossible for you at this point to suppress any guilt you might feel at taking human life."
"Well, how do you do it?" Adam asked.
Daniel shrugged. "I've matured. I am not a human anymore, and my nature allows me to take life. Do not mistake, I am not a monster. It is always easier and better for the world if one hunts down evil. My children and I can tell who in this world only exist to make life painful for others, and we eliminate them. Only the very heartless vampire will go after the innocent."
"Like Zack?" Adam blurted, but he didn't know what made him say that at first.
Daniel seemed surprised. "How did you know about that? I never told you how I lost Zack."
Adam looked down, feeling bad but not sure why, like he was hurting Daniel. "I don't know why I said that. His face just came into my mind when you said 'heartless vampire', and I made a connection without meaning to. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. He was my son, and I'll never deny he once existed. When I spoke to you about him before, it was not the right time to go into it. Briefly, I will reiterate that Zack was a mistake, and it was my responsibility to make thing right again."
A bit of fear flashed in Adam's eyes. "Did you...kill him?" he whispered.
Daniel looked just a little sad. He nodded and spoke gently. "I had to. He was killing those he shouldn't have, and he...tried to hurt someone I loved."
Adam's mind envisioned Hayden when he said that, but he didn't ask.
Daniel took his hand and tried to smile. "It was a long time ago, and I had no choice. I've reconciled with what I had to do, and it was nearly a century before I could trust myself to turn another human.
"To this day I can't tell you what it was exactly that prompted me to save Monte's life, but I just knew I - I wanted him to live, and I did not make a mistake with him or Tommy."
"But they hardly have anything to do with you. And it's like Tommy doesn't know whether he's coming or going when it comes to you. We haven't seen Hayden in I don't know how long-"
"I know, Adam. I know how it looks to you, but it is the way things are with us - with our kind. When a vampire becomes 'independent', as you say, then there is no longer a need to hang about his master's neck. Besides, I am always connected to them. They are my children, and I can feel what they feel. I know if they are in danger or pain, and they oblige me by living within the city and remain under my protection. What they do with their lives, however, is up to them.
"Tommy is still young, but old enough. I trust Monte with, and Tommy relates to and connects more with Monte than he does with me. For Monte, it's like raising his own youth, and Hayden practically lusts for life. I have no worries about her, for she is nearly as old as I am. She is strong and will never be content to remain in the company of the same people all the time."
"But, aren't you lonely?" Adam was sympathetic.
"As I said, they are connected to me. Just because I cannot see them doesn't mean I don't feel them or that they don't feel me. Besides, I have you now, and every minute I spend with you is a joy." Daniel leaned in and kissed him tenderly. "You laid in my bed those first three nights, and my heart swelled with love for you. And look at you now. You're becoming strong and aware as I'd hope you would. You may not remember who you were, but you are fashioning the person you want to be all the time. My love for you continues to grow; don't worry about that. I am not lonely."
Adam smiled, feeling comforted. "I love you, too, Daniel. You're my life." He pulled the vampire to him.
***
Putting his curiosity of the vampire life on hold and lamenting in his avoidance of singing, Adam concentrated on trying to ease back into life once again. The gang came back around, and Adam was happy to see them together again. They took him places like they used to, and Adam was feeling more comfortable about a few things.
Before, if they would go to a bar or something, Adam never strayed more than a few feet from Monte. Even though he knew Hayden was older and stronger, psychologically, it felt like Monte was the better protector because of his size. Now he was better at letting the man walk away to play darts or chat up some chick without following like a puppy.
Plus, Adam was becoming intrigued by Tommy's black nail polish and the makeup Hayden would wear to make herself look only more gorgeous. She handed over the black eyeliner when Adam asked and seemed to want to see how it would turn out. "I'll probably mess it up," Adam said grinning, but he was willing to try. Then Hayden offered to do it for him, and he let her, trusting her with the object so close to his eye.
Monte seemed to doubt it would look good until he actually saw the finished work. "Punk rock!" he exclaimed and gave Adam a high five. Adam was happy with the reaction and felt very confident with just that little touch of makeup. Hayden couldn't stop looking at her handiwork either, as though Adam looked as beautiful as those soft, sensual women she would make out with. Adam blushed.
Tommy painted his nails and agreed to talk about music with Adam since he insisted it wouldn't hurt if he they just talked. As he worked with the black polish and Adam sat, listening with his chin propped on his palm, Tommy went on about a couple bands he was a part of in his early 2000's when he played keyboard. "I was in this one band, and we thought we were The Smashing Pumpkins, or something. Even had a girl bass player. But we sucked big-time, never made it out of the garage." Then Adam would ask about the bands he'd mentioned, to elaborate on 'the Pumpkins' or The Cranberries or Stone Temple Pilots.
Tommy would continue talking, then he asked between blowing air on Adam's fingers, "Don't you remember any music? I mean, these are pretty popular bands."
Adam thought about it. "It's like there's a veil, and it only lifts for one thing at a time but only when someone brings something up. 'Til then, it's like it doesn't exist."
"We better stop talking about it, though," said Tommy. "I know you like music, but it's risky."
"I'm sorry I spooked you before, Tommy. I feel fine now." Adam looked at the good job Tommy did with the black paint. "Great, in fact, but we won't talk about it if you don't think we should."
Adam put on his favorite leather outfit and boots, all black, a few chains and a yin/yang pendant, and black studs as always in his ears. On his hands were silver bracelets and rings that caught the light as if they were chrome. Adam looked at himself in the mirror of his old bedroom while the gang stood around, watching him. His raven hair was smoothed back on the sides and styled on top to remind Adam of something close to a rooster. The eyeliner made his blue iris's pop and took focus from his many freckles. The clothes fit him snug, and as he stared, he couldn't help but feel done, like this was how he was supposed to look all along. The person on the outside pretty much fit the person on the inside.
"I hate to admit it, Adam," said Hayden, "but you look better than any of us could. We're going to have to beat the humans off with a stick to keep them away from you!"
Adam's face fell into worry. "Maybe I shouldn't go out, looking like this-"
"Nonsense," Daniel said, coming into the room. "You look like gothic royalty. Just remember, you have the power to control the humans and yourself. They cannot hurt you. Just do as you have always done and keep your distance if the smell of blood becomes too strong. The others will help you if you need it."
Adam smiled, glad that Daniel always made it seem okay for him to be happy. He blushed crimson though when Daniel gave him a closed mouth kiss in front of everybody. Then he couldn't look into their grinning faces.
Tommy put his arm around his shoulder. "Come on, Babyboy. This town is ours tonight!"
***
They went to a metal club. Monte's attraction was always the chicks that frequented, Hayden's was the same. Tommy went for the music, and Adam liked how he resembled the way some of the others inside the place dressed, except he looked better.
They had a live band to listen to. It was loud, and people were moshing on the dance floor. It was a pretty rowdy place, but nothing Adam needed to be nervous about. The gang had taken him to places like this before in the city. Within minutes, Hayden was already in the lap of a red headed vixen covered in tattoos, and Monte was scoping the crowd for his own date. Tommy wanted to go out on the dance floor and headbang as close to the speakers as he could get, but Adam told him to go ahead. Because of how comfortable he was in his own skin, and because he wasn't attached to the gang's hip anymore, Adam was content to sit at the bar and watch everybody, his eyes darting from Tommy to Monte to Hayden at certain points in various places of the hall.
Adam didn't pay much attention to the band but couldn't block out the thrashing metal, belting from the speakers all over the club. He imagined, if he was still human, he would have a headache and decided that the hardcore scene might not be his thing. He didn't feel the need to run away from the crashing cymbals and squealing guitars, but he could tell he wasn't going to rush to by the is band's CD either.
Actually, it wasn't too long before a human female approached him and asked Adam to buy her a drink. Adam wasn't exactly nervous about the attention she was giving him, but just decided to go with it for as long as he could. She ordered a strawberry daiquiri and asked his name.
"Adam."
"Adam, what?" she said, red lips smiling.
"Adam Lambert. What's your name?"
"Claudia. I like men who aren't afraid to wear makeup." Claudia let her bleach blonde hair fall over her heaving breasts that protruded from her black leather bustier, covering only some of her cleavage. Adam found it distracting but not enticing, not as much as she wanted.
"You come here a lot? she asked.
"I'm here with friends." Adam grinned. Man! She is pulling out all the stops!
"Girlfriend?" she inquired.
Adam shook his head, thinking about how, indeed, no one he was with was his girlfriend.
Claudia smiled. "Really?" she sang out as if to be cunning, and she leaned in and placed a hand on Adam's thigh.
Adam had to laugh, and through his toothy grin, he informed, "Sorry, Claudia. I'm taken."
Claudia stopped, realizing what Adam implied as compared to what he'd just said about girlfriends, and instead of backing up, she only became more sly and leaned in closer. "I could change your mind," she offered in a seductive tone while moving her hand to palm Adam's package.
Instantly, Adam's smile fell, and he moved her hand away roughly, turning red.
Claudia was instantly offended. "Jesus! You weren't kidding," she uttered flatly as if he'd smacked her. She was lucky he didn't, actually. After looking disgusted at Adam, she grabbed her little drink from the bar and walked away as though she was the one who just got felt up. Adam was pissed, but just reached into his pocket and slid a bill onto the bar to pay for her drink.
The bartender was shaking his head in disappointment as if to say 'you don't reject a piece of ass like that.' Adam ignored him.
He scanned the crowd to try to find one of the gang. He spotted Hayden first, who was not only still sitting on her siren's lap and playing suck face with her, but was also letting a second woman - a gorgeous beauty with dark hair who looked like she was half Asian - lick Hayden's neck and feel her up. There were a couple of guys a short distance away with their camera phones out and grinning like teenage boys. Adam kind of wanted to tell them to fuck off and leave Hayden alone, but he figured if she was willing to do that sort of thing in public, then she must not have minded.
Next, he saw Monte talking with this punk dude with a green mohawk and spikes around his neck. He had a snake tattooed on his face, and Adam decided he'd go over only if he found Tommy was busy.
Tommy wasn't. He was on the dance floor over by the speakers next to the stage. Adam went toward him, trying to be careful not to get knocked into.
There were only few guys on the floor who were taller than Adam. Everyone else was shorter so he got a good view of the stage. He came up behind Tommy's blonde head and tapped it once. Tommy stopped his half hearted banging to the beat and turned around, acknowledging him but not saying anything. Neither felt like shouting in vein over the music. They both directed their attention to the stage and watched the band just for something to look at.
Every once in a while, without looking, Tommy would instinctively put a hand to his side and connect with a mosher who was about to fall into them. He'd push the humans roughly away so they could go fall into someone else like a pinball, and he wouldn't bat an eye. Adam smiled, impressed.
Thoughts of Claudia were all but gone, and Adam was focused on the members of the band. He liked the intensity on the drummer's face as he played, and the way the nipple rings on the skinny but toned bassist glinted in the stage lights, but that was the only thing that caught his attention for even a second. Afterword he was just bored and scanned lazily over the crowd. This was definitely not his scene.
The lead singer - or lead screamer - shouted out another verse that no one could possibly discern, but Adam glanced up at him again. The young man wore no shirt with black 'Jnco' jeans and high-tops, and his dreadlocks were died canary yellow. When Adam thought of it, he had to respect the dude's individuality, if nothing else. Then he wondered how long the singer had been in the band and what it took to do what he did. Adam wondered if he himself would be nervous or not, singing in front of people when before, it was only Tommy and him. He couldn't imagine how...it would...feel....
Adam froze, his eyes aligned with the back of Tommy's head but he wasn't seeing anything. There was something so familiar about the feeling he was having that it shocked him, and all other sounds faded.
Tommy sensed something was wrong, and he turned around, a hard, serious look of concern on his face. He put a hand on Adam's shoulder to try and snap him out of it. Adam only managed to focus on Tommy's eyes, seeing him mouth Adam's name with no voice, but half his mind was elsewhere.
Soon, Tommy was pushing people out of the way and leading his friend by the hand off of the dance floor. Monte must have seen this because he was on his way over by the time they made it off. When they passed Hayden's table, no one needed to give any obvious sign to get her attention. She just looked over and untangled herself from her two squeezes, following as Tommy led Adam outside of the building.
Monte and Hayden could see Adam felt troubled by something, but he was more confused. Tommy turned the corner and headed form the building to the parking lot so they could get as far from the bass drum as possible. Adam just let Tommy lead him by the hand.
"Get in," Tommy said, putting Adam in the passenger side seat of his car and not bothering to wonder if Adam could hear him. He went around as Hayden and Monte crawled in the back, and then he opened the last door to sit beside Adam in the driver's seat.
Everyone was looking at Adam, whose gaze was fixed to his lap. Tommy reached over and bought Adam's head over to look at him.
"Adam?" he said softly, like talking to a kid. "Can you hear me?"
Adam was staring at him wide eyed and nodded, breathing the word, "Yeah..." Tommy looked worried, giving Adam some clue as to how strange he must look to them right now.
Hayden and Monte watched from the back, not knowing what happened.
It was quiet in the car, close and safe, and there weren't any humans around or the scent of blood in his nose or music in his hears. Adam slowly came back to himself and focused on Tommy more, rather than simply looking at him.
Tommy kept a hand on Adam's face and looked serious. "What happened, Adam? What are you feeling?"
Adam tried to keep his breathing calm but he couldn't make his voice any louder. "I'm - I'm a singer."
Tommy seemed to explore all the possibilities of what this meant. "You mean, like with me? In the loft?"
Adam shook his head slightly. "On a stage in front of people. I remember a crowd."
Monte and Hayden glanced at each other.
"You mean before you were turned?" asked Hayden. "You were a singer before then?"
Adam kept his eyes on Tommy and nodded. "I remember a mic in my hand and the lights were dim. That's the, uh, picture. But more that that, I feel it! I don't remember anything else, but I know I was a singer. It makes sense, doesn't it? I didn't just find out I could sing. It was because I'd already done it before."
"And you don't remember anything else? Like a band or a club name or what your set list was?" Tommy asked.
Adam looked away, concentrating. Tommy took his hand away. After a minute, Adam shook his head. "I don't know. I feel like the answers are right on the surface, though, like I can almost touch them." He looked up at Tommy again. "I don't know whether to be excited or scared shitless."
Tommy dug his keys out of his pocket and put one in the ignition. "Just don't be anything for a while. I'm taking you to Daniel."
Everyone was quiet on the way.
tbc.
After a bit, Tommy left, and Adam and Daniel were alone again. Adam regarded him, wondering many things.
"What is on your mind, love?" Daniel, trying to be gentle and stroking Adam's hair. It felt good to Adam, but he still wanted to talk.
"I've noticed recently that everyone tries to keep this whole 'vampire' thing from me, like you don't want me to remember that I am one. Monte and Tommy said I should talk to you."
Daniel nodded. "There are aspects of our lives that are not so pleasant, Adam. In some ways, I see you as my own child, and I wanted to keep things as simple for you as possible. Just like there are certain things about life a mother hides - or tries to - from her child until they are old enough to know it, the same can be said for vampires. I intended to talk to you. I was just waiting for you to be ready."
"I just want to be normal - a normal vampire, like Tommy or Hayden. I'm not talking about their independence from you; I don't want to move out, but they can take care of themselves. I want to be able to do that, too. Am I moving too fast? Can we at least talk?"
Daniel was slow to respond, but he nodded.
Then Adam added. "I asked to go out with Tommy and Monte this evening while they hunted. They refused and told me to talk about it with you."
"They were right to do so," said Daniel. "And I told them to send you to me if you started asking questions."
Adam nodded and waited.
"We spoke before about drinking blood and the effects it has on vampire. Do you remember? You may have thought I was just referring to you feeding from me or Tommy, but in actuality I was talking about it in general. You can survive on the blood of animals, but it is an awful way to go about it, and you're always left wanting. To drink the blood of one's master or of another vampire is ideal for young ones like you, but as you get older, your instincts to hunt and fend for yourself will surface. They may already have, in the smallest way. After that time, you can still will yourself to drink from me, but you would be thinking of something more - constantly suppressing a challenge within yourself.
"Ultimately, our kind are meant to feed from humans. The hunger inside is not satisfied until we have claimed every drop from our victim. When the time comes for you to hunt, Adam, you're true nature will expect you to kill."
Daniel paused, looking at Adam's nervous expression. Then he lightened his voice. "You are fragile, Dearest, for reasons beyond the limit of your age. You are not ready for such a responsibility, and so I will be here for you, even if you never progress. It's impossible for you at this point to suppress any guilt you might feel at taking human life."
"Well, how do you do it?" Adam asked.
Daniel shrugged. "I've matured. I am not a human anymore, and my nature allows me to take life. Do not mistake, I am not a monster. It is always easier and better for the world if one hunts down evil. My children and I can tell who in this world only exist to make life painful for others, and we eliminate them. Only the very heartless vampire will go after the innocent."
"Like Zack?" Adam blurted, but he didn't know what made him say that at first.
Daniel seemed surprised. "How did you know about that? I never told you how I lost Zack."
Adam looked down, feeling bad but not sure why, like he was hurting Daniel. "I don't know why I said that. His face just came into my mind when you said 'heartless vampire', and I made a connection without meaning to. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. He was my son, and I'll never deny he once existed. When I spoke to you about him before, it was not the right time to go into it. Briefly, I will reiterate that Zack was a mistake, and it was my responsibility to make thing right again."
A bit of fear flashed in Adam's eyes. "Did you...kill him?" he whispered.
Daniel looked just a little sad. He nodded and spoke gently. "I had to. He was killing those he shouldn't have, and he...tried to hurt someone I loved."
Adam's mind envisioned Hayden when he said that, but he didn't ask.
Daniel took his hand and tried to smile. "It was a long time ago, and I had no choice. I've reconciled with what I had to do, and it was nearly a century before I could trust myself to turn another human.
"To this day I can't tell you what it was exactly that prompted me to save Monte's life, but I just knew I - I wanted him to live, and I did not make a mistake with him or Tommy."
"But they hardly have anything to do with you. And it's like Tommy doesn't know whether he's coming or going when it comes to you. We haven't seen Hayden in I don't know how long-"
"I know, Adam. I know how it looks to you, but it is the way things are with us - with our kind. When a vampire becomes 'independent', as you say, then there is no longer a need to hang about his master's neck. Besides, I am always connected to them. They are my children, and I can feel what they feel. I know if they are in danger or pain, and they oblige me by living within the city and remain under my protection. What they do with their lives, however, is up to them.
"Tommy is still young, but old enough. I trust Monte with, and Tommy relates to and connects more with Monte than he does with me. For Monte, it's like raising his own youth, and Hayden practically lusts for life. I have no worries about her, for she is nearly as old as I am. She is strong and will never be content to remain in the company of the same people all the time."
"But, aren't you lonely?" Adam was sympathetic.
"As I said, they are connected to me. Just because I cannot see them doesn't mean I don't feel them or that they don't feel me. Besides, I have you now, and every minute I spend with you is a joy." Daniel leaned in and kissed him tenderly. "You laid in my bed those first three nights, and my heart swelled with love for you. And look at you now. You're becoming strong and aware as I'd hope you would. You may not remember who you were, but you are fashioning the person you want to be all the time. My love for you continues to grow; don't worry about that. I am not lonely."
Adam smiled, feeling comforted. "I love you, too, Daniel. You're my life." He pulled the vampire to him.
***
Putting his curiosity of the vampire life on hold and lamenting in his avoidance of singing, Adam concentrated on trying to ease back into life once again. The gang came back around, and Adam was happy to see them together again. They took him places like they used to, and Adam was feeling more comfortable about a few things.
Before, if they would go to a bar or something, Adam never strayed more than a few feet from Monte. Even though he knew Hayden was older and stronger, psychologically, it felt like Monte was the better protector because of his size. Now he was better at letting the man walk away to play darts or chat up some chick without following like a puppy.
Plus, Adam was becoming intrigued by Tommy's black nail polish and the makeup Hayden would wear to make herself look only more gorgeous. She handed over the black eyeliner when Adam asked and seemed to want to see how it would turn out. "I'll probably mess it up," Adam said grinning, but he was willing to try. Then Hayden offered to do it for him, and he let her, trusting her with the object so close to his eye.
Monte seemed to doubt it would look good until he actually saw the finished work. "Punk rock!" he exclaimed and gave Adam a high five. Adam was happy with the reaction and felt very confident with just that little touch of makeup. Hayden couldn't stop looking at her handiwork either, as though Adam looked as beautiful as those soft, sensual women she would make out with. Adam blushed.
Tommy painted his nails and agreed to talk about music with Adam since he insisted it wouldn't hurt if he they just talked. As he worked with the black polish and Adam sat, listening with his chin propped on his palm, Tommy went on about a couple bands he was a part of in his early 2000's when he played keyboard. "I was in this one band, and we thought we were The Smashing Pumpkins, or something. Even had a girl bass player. But we sucked big-time, never made it out of the garage." Then Adam would ask about the bands he'd mentioned, to elaborate on 'the Pumpkins' or The Cranberries or Stone Temple Pilots.
Tommy would continue talking, then he asked between blowing air on Adam's fingers, "Don't you remember any music? I mean, these are pretty popular bands."
Adam thought about it. "It's like there's a veil, and it only lifts for one thing at a time but only when someone brings something up. 'Til then, it's like it doesn't exist."
"We better stop talking about it, though," said Tommy. "I know you like music, but it's risky."
"I'm sorry I spooked you before, Tommy. I feel fine now." Adam looked at the good job Tommy did with the black paint. "Great, in fact, but we won't talk about it if you don't think we should."
Adam put on his favorite leather outfit and boots, all black, a few chains and a yin/yang pendant, and black studs as always in his ears. On his hands were silver bracelets and rings that caught the light as if they were chrome. Adam looked at himself in the mirror of his old bedroom while the gang stood around, watching him. His raven hair was smoothed back on the sides and styled on top to remind Adam of something close to a rooster. The eyeliner made his blue iris's pop and took focus from his many freckles. The clothes fit him snug, and as he stared, he couldn't help but feel done, like this was how he was supposed to look all along. The person on the outside pretty much fit the person on the inside.
"I hate to admit it, Adam," said Hayden, "but you look better than any of us could. We're going to have to beat the humans off with a stick to keep them away from you!"
Adam's face fell into worry. "Maybe I shouldn't go out, looking like this-"
"Nonsense," Daniel said, coming into the room. "You look like gothic royalty. Just remember, you have the power to control the humans and yourself. They cannot hurt you. Just do as you have always done and keep your distance if the smell of blood becomes too strong. The others will help you if you need it."
Adam smiled, glad that Daniel always made it seem okay for him to be happy. He blushed crimson though when Daniel gave him a closed mouth kiss in front of everybody. Then he couldn't look into their grinning faces.
Tommy put his arm around his shoulder. "Come on, Babyboy. This town is ours tonight!"
***
They went to a metal club. Monte's attraction was always the chicks that frequented, Hayden's was the same. Tommy went for the music, and Adam liked how he resembled the way some of the others inside the place dressed, except he looked better.
They had a live band to listen to. It was loud, and people were moshing on the dance floor. It was a pretty rowdy place, but nothing Adam needed to be nervous about. The gang had taken him to places like this before in the city. Within minutes, Hayden was already in the lap of a red headed vixen covered in tattoos, and Monte was scoping the crowd for his own date. Tommy wanted to go out on the dance floor and headbang as close to the speakers as he could get, but Adam told him to go ahead. Because of how comfortable he was in his own skin, and because he wasn't attached to the gang's hip anymore, Adam was content to sit at the bar and watch everybody, his eyes darting from Tommy to Monte to Hayden at certain points in various places of the hall.
Adam didn't pay much attention to the band but couldn't block out the thrashing metal, belting from the speakers all over the club. He imagined, if he was still human, he would have a headache and decided that the hardcore scene might not be his thing. He didn't feel the need to run away from the crashing cymbals and squealing guitars, but he could tell he wasn't going to rush to by the is band's CD either.
Actually, it wasn't too long before a human female approached him and asked Adam to buy her a drink. Adam wasn't exactly nervous about the attention she was giving him, but just decided to go with it for as long as he could. She ordered a strawberry daiquiri and asked his name.
"Adam."
"Adam, what?" she said, red lips smiling.
"Adam Lambert. What's your name?"
"Claudia. I like men who aren't afraid to wear makeup." Claudia let her bleach blonde hair fall over her heaving breasts that protruded from her black leather bustier, covering only some of her cleavage. Adam found it distracting but not enticing, not as much as she wanted.
"You come here a lot? she asked.
"I'm here with friends." Adam grinned. Man! She is pulling out all the stops!
"Girlfriend?" she inquired.
Adam shook his head, thinking about how, indeed, no one he was with was his girlfriend.
Claudia smiled. "Really?" she sang out as if to be cunning, and she leaned in and placed a hand on Adam's thigh.
Adam had to laugh, and through his toothy grin, he informed, "Sorry, Claudia. I'm taken."
Claudia stopped, realizing what Adam implied as compared to what he'd just said about girlfriends, and instead of backing up, she only became more sly and leaned in closer. "I could change your mind," she offered in a seductive tone while moving her hand to palm Adam's package.
Instantly, Adam's smile fell, and he moved her hand away roughly, turning red.
Claudia was instantly offended. "Jesus! You weren't kidding," she uttered flatly as if he'd smacked her. She was lucky he didn't, actually. After looking disgusted at Adam, she grabbed her little drink from the bar and walked away as though she was the one who just got felt up. Adam was pissed, but just reached into his pocket and slid a bill onto the bar to pay for her drink.
The bartender was shaking his head in disappointment as if to say 'you don't reject a piece of ass like that.' Adam ignored him.
He scanned the crowd to try to find one of the gang. He spotted Hayden first, who was not only still sitting on her siren's lap and playing suck face with her, but was also letting a second woman - a gorgeous beauty with dark hair who looked like she was half Asian - lick Hayden's neck and feel her up. There were a couple of guys a short distance away with their camera phones out and grinning like teenage boys. Adam kind of wanted to tell them to fuck off and leave Hayden alone, but he figured if she was willing to do that sort of thing in public, then she must not have minded.
Next, he saw Monte talking with this punk dude with a green mohawk and spikes around his neck. He had a snake tattooed on his face, and Adam decided he'd go over only if he found Tommy was busy.
Tommy wasn't. He was on the dance floor over by the speakers next to the stage. Adam went toward him, trying to be careful not to get knocked into.
There were only few guys on the floor who were taller than Adam. Everyone else was shorter so he got a good view of the stage. He came up behind Tommy's blonde head and tapped it once. Tommy stopped his half hearted banging to the beat and turned around, acknowledging him but not saying anything. Neither felt like shouting in vein over the music. They both directed their attention to the stage and watched the band just for something to look at.
Every once in a while, without looking, Tommy would instinctively put a hand to his side and connect with a mosher who was about to fall into them. He'd push the humans roughly away so they could go fall into someone else like a pinball, and he wouldn't bat an eye. Adam smiled, impressed.
Thoughts of Claudia were all but gone, and Adam was focused on the members of the band. He liked the intensity on the drummer's face as he played, and the way the nipple rings on the skinny but toned bassist glinted in the stage lights, but that was the only thing that caught his attention for even a second. Afterword he was just bored and scanned lazily over the crowd. This was definitely not his scene.
The lead singer - or lead screamer - shouted out another verse that no one could possibly discern, but Adam glanced up at him again. The young man wore no shirt with black 'Jnco' jeans and high-tops, and his dreadlocks were died canary yellow. When Adam thought of it, he had to respect the dude's individuality, if nothing else. Then he wondered how long the singer had been in the band and what it took to do what he did. Adam wondered if he himself would be nervous or not, singing in front of people when before, it was only Tommy and him. He couldn't imagine how...it would...feel....
Adam froze, his eyes aligned with the back of Tommy's head but he wasn't seeing anything. There was something so familiar about the feeling he was having that it shocked him, and all other sounds faded.
Tommy sensed something was wrong, and he turned around, a hard, serious look of concern on his face. He put a hand on Adam's shoulder to try and snap him out of it. Adam only managed to focus on Tommy's eyes, seeing him mouth Adam's name with no voice, but half his mind was elsewhere.
Soon, Tommy was pushing people out of the way and leading his friend by the hand off of the dance floor. Monte must have seen this because he was on his way over by the time they made it off. When they passed Hayden's table, no one needed to give any obvious sign to get her attention. She just looked over and untangled herself from her two squeezes, following as Tommy led Adam outside of the building.
Monte and Hayden could see Adam felt troubled by something, but he was more confused. Tommy turned the corner and headed form the building to the parking lot so they could get as far from the bass drum as possible. Adam just let Tommy lead him by the hand.
"Get in," Tommy said, putting Adam in the passenger side seat of his car and not bothering to wonder if Adam could hear him. He went around as Hayden and Monte crawled in the back, and then he opened the last door to sit beside Adam in the driver's seat.
Everyone was looking at Adam, whose gaze was fixed to his lap. Tommy reached over and bought Adam's head over to look at him.
"Adam?" he said softly, like talking to a kid. "Can you hear me?"
Adam was staring at him wide eyed and nodded, breathing the word, "Yeah..." Tommy looked worried, giving Adam some clue as to how strange he must look to them right now.
Hayden and Monte watched from the back, not knowing what happened.
It was quiet in the car, close and safe, and there weren't any humans around or the scent of blood in his nose or music in his hears. Adam slowly came back to himself and focused on Tommy more, rather than simply looking at him.
Tommy kept a hand on Adam's face and looked serious. "What happened, Adam? What are you feeling?"
Adam tried to keep his breathing calm but he couldn't make his voice any louder. "I'm - I'm a singer."
Tommy seemed to explore all the possibilities of what this meant. "You mean, like with me? In the loft?"
Adam shook his head slightly. "On a stage in front of people. I remember a crowd."
Monte and Hayden glanced at each other.
"You mean before you were turned?" asked Hayden. "You were a singer before then?"
Adam kept his eyes on Tommy and nodded. "I remember a mic in my hand and the lights were dim. That's the, uh, picture. But more that that, I feel it! I don't remember anything else, but I know I was a singer. It makes sense, doesn't it? I didn't just find out I could sing. It was because I'd already done it before."
"And you don't remember anything else? Like a band or a club name or what your set list was?" Tommy asked.
Adam looked away, concentrating. Tommy took his hand away. After a minute, Adam shook his head. "I don't know. I feel like the answers are right on the surface, though, like I can almost touch them." He looked up at Tommy again. "I don't know whether to be excited or scared shitless."
Tommy dug his keys out of his pocket and put one in the ignition. "Just don't be anything for a while. I'm taking you to Daniel."
Everyone was quiet on the way.
tbc.