THE WORLD DEVOURED 4/4 (the bad romance series)
THE WORLD DEVOURED 4/4
Beta: gwencarmichael
A/n Thanks so much to everyone who's made it this far. I've loved hearing your thoughts and feedback <3 I think you'll like this cuz we meet the rest of Tommy's crew and Adam and Tommy are reunited! *squee!* ;) Love you guys!
Later, Adam's parents tried to see him again, but Adam just turned his head and ignored them as they tried to apologize. He tensed from his mother's hand on his arm and hissed, "Don't touch me," and that was all he'd say. Maybe someday Adam would forgive them for being so blind for half his life, but he wasn't ready yet. A councelor had come by again, but Adam still didn't want to talk to the guy.
Then, just when he couldn't feel any worse about his life, a guy with kind, brown eyes snuck into his room and introduced himself as Kris Allen.
"I just came from Tommy's room. His parents are there right now so I thought I'd come and introduce myself. If you'd rather be alone, I can go. It's ok."
Tommy's friends must have been really good at sneaking around hospitals.
Adam was filled with happiness. Yet another of Tommy's friends had come to see him. He quickly implored the guy to stay if he wanted, saying he was going nuts lying here alone.
"How are you doing, Adam?" Kris took a seat next to Adam's bed. His tone suggested he didn't want to just hear the short answer 'fine' that people were so fond of giving. Adam felt warmed by his presence and kind eyes.
"I - I dunno. I miss Tommy."
Kris nodded. "He's still asking about you. He said Monte told him you were ok, but he didn't believe him."
"I told him to say that. Must not have been convincing." Adam managed a smirk.
"Hey, it's the thought that counts. You just didn't want Tommy to worry. He's trying to do better, but it's probably going to be a while before he gets to leave here. You gonna see him before you get released?"
"Of course...but..."
"But what?" Kris seemed worried by Adam's expression.
Adam said, "I've...I've really been wanting to see him again and...tell him stuff...but I've been wondering if that was a good idea."
"What's to wonder? He'll be hurt if you don't come."
Adam sighed, then mumbled, "I don't think I'm...safe for him."
"What does that mean?" asked Kris. "You think you're bad luck or something?"
Adam nodded.
"Oh, Adam...that's ridiculous." Kris' voice was light, and he also took Adam's hand, which felt equally good to Adam as when Monte did it. "My friends and me, we know what happened. It wasn't your fault. You didn't hurt Tommy in any way. It was those other guys. They're the only ones who are to blame. You and Tommy are just victims, and you're going to need each other if you're gonna make it through this. Tommy's trying to keep his sprits up for us because we're his friends, but how is he when we leave? The guy's strong, but no one could be just fine after what happened to him. If he got a chance to see you, then I think it would do him a world of good."
Adam considered this and then asked, "What did he tell you...about me?"
Kris took in a breath but was very gentle in his tone. "He wouldn't have talked about it with anyone but us, because he tells us everything. You really made an impression on him. He said you made him feel strong, and he instantly wanted to protect you and make you feel better. He knows you love him, Adam, and that's part of what's driving him to recover." The cute brunette smiled, totally non-judgmental.
"I just worry about you," he continued. "Monte said he met you and said you seemed really cool, but that you didn't have anyone coming to see you. Is that true? Do you want to talk about it?"
God, Adam was loving these guys more and more. "It would take all day," he hesitated at the invitation.
"I've got time. Tommy's gonna be visiting with his family for a while, and I wanna get to know you. So, let's talk."
Adam decided to share with Kris what he'd avoided with Monte. He hadn't been ready to talk about his parents before, but a 'less than worth' feeling had settled in after their last visit, making Adam feel guilty about rejecting them...like he had no right to be mad. He still had a hard time sticking up for himself and really did need to talk about it with someone. Kris seemed like the perfect person for that.
"My folks think...what happened was my fault."
"What?" Kris exclaimed, looking immediately incensed.
"Or...at least that's what they'd assumed before they got a chance to see me. That house...you know...When I was growing up, they used to say teens would go there to make out. My parents knew it, too, and always told Neil and me...Neil's my older brother...not to go near there." Adam took in a deep breath, hesitating to make his next confession. But he decided Kris probably already knew.
"I'm...I'm gay..." He let out a breath and kept his eyes off of Kris. "...and my parents know it. They don't want me to be. They told themselves I'd grow out of it, and were disappointed when I didn't. Now...they just see me as a walking stereotype. My dad tries to politely correct the way I walk, and my mom is always telling me to 'look at that girl', and they get annoyed when I don't change. But they might as well tell me to change the color of my blood or something. So when they heard I'd gone to that house with a bunch of guys, they thought I took them there to have sex with them...me and Tommy. But then they assumed that the guys got grossed out by the proposition and decided to kick our asses...like...like I had it coming! I...I hate them!"
Adam's emotions had heightened, and Kris was there to try and calm him down. Adam had been holding that in for a while now, and here was Kris, rubbing his arm soothingly and sympathizing for him. It was unreal. It felt so good. Kris wasn't siding with the parents or telling him not to be upset or saying Adam shouldn't feel that way. He was just there.
Adam looked at Kris, tears in his damaged eyes, and he breathed in and out, trying to calm down. "It felt good to say that," Adam confessed.
Kris nodded. "You go ahead and hate them if you have to, Adam. Nothing's gonna stop that right now. You just let yourself feel what you have to, and soon the good feelings will come back, I promise. Just give yourself time."
Then he said, "Listen, Adam...do you have your own place? Where do you go when you get out of here?"
Adam shook his head, wiping his eyes. "I had to move back in with my parents a little while ago. I'm not looking forward to going home."
"Really?" Kris said brightly as though he was hoping to hear that. "Tommy's not going back home either. He said he was telling his folks today that he'd decided to stay at Monte's after he gets out of here. My apartment has two bedrooms; my ex-girlfriend moved out about two months ago. How about I put you up? I don't live too far from Monte, so you could go see Tommy when he gets settled. I don't want you to finish recovering in a place you don't want to be. Whataya say?"
Kris might as well have asked him if he wanted to go to fuckin' Disney Land or some shit. "I know I shouldn't accept...but I really...I really..."
"Then accept. I want you to be comfortable so Tommy doesn't have to worry. We'd all love it if we had you in the city with us."
Adam's face was killing him, but he couldn't stop smiling. He never actually said the word, 'yes' but he didn't have to. Kris said he'd pick Adam up when he got released and would take him home so he could grab the stuff he needed, then later, when he was up to it, he could go back for the rest.
Adam was a little surprised. "You mean, you actually what me to move in with you?"
"Yeah, sure," said Kris. "You can hang with me until you get back on your feet again. But we're always gonna be together, Adam. You, me, Tommy, all of us...you can be sure of that."
There was just one last person of Tommy's crew that he hadn't yet met, and that was Connie. When she finally snuck into Adam's room, telling him who she was and that Tommy was doing better, she immediately became a girl friend to Adam. Connie was just fuckin' cool, like the rest, and she had wanted him to open up about his feelings for Tommy.
"I was thinking that...you know, Tommy has had us to talk to, and he said you both had an amazing night together. I thought maybe it was something you might like to talk about with someone. It was your first time, right? The first time should always be special, and if you wanna talk about it with me, it's ok."
Adam felt kind of embarrassed but somehow not in a bad way. He fiddled with his bed sheet and said, "It was really unexpected. Tommy gave me no indication at all."
"No, he wouldn't. He's kind of a firecracker that way," said Connie.
Adam said, "But...at the time I was totally insecure...thinking back, I was a friggin' mess inside. He was trying to comfort me when I got upset about something and then...it was like he was offering me this cure. Tommy was just...so gentle...and - tell you what - he wasn't gonna let me go until I did what he thought we needed to do I guess."
"Was it wonderful?" Connie was a girly-goo, stroking Adam's hair away from his face in slow movements. God! It felt so good.
"It was beyond wonderful. I was nervous as hell, but he was so fuckin' cool. He did everything he could to make me comfortable. But...I think I loved him before that. I think I loved him the first time I saw him."
Connie was eating this shit up, gushing about how cute and sweet Adam was. (She was the first ever.) Then she said, "Oh, honey, I'm gonna die, that was so sweet! Thank you for trusting me, Adam. I really want us to be friends." Connie was smiling from ear to ear.
Adam squeezed her hand. "I kinda need you guys. I don't have any friends, so..."
Before Adam could continue, Connie was screwing up her face in a swoon of how adorably heartbreaking Adam was. She even leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.
"You just tell me anything you want to, sweetie. Good. Bad. It doesn't matter." She stroked his knuckles with her other hand. "Have you ever had a boyfriend before?" She wasn't indulging him. She really wanted to know. So fucking cool. Adam felt that way with all of Tommy's friends.
He told her he'd never had a boyfriend, but he had secretly imagined that some day he could get one. Because he thought so little of himself and always felt like he was wrong, Adam had suppressed who he was in may other ways, but mainly it was his sexuality that he tried to hide. The last few years, he'd started thinking that things were going to stay this way forever, and no one would like him for who he was. Then Tommy came along and showed him the possibility of a life he didn't think he deserved but couldn't resist. At that point he started crying. He let Connie try to soothe him, encouraging him to continue.
"Why did this have to happen?" Adam sobbed. "I was so happy, and it was like those guys couldn't live with that. They just...Tommy and I could be so happy right now if..."
Connie was rubbed his shoulder lightly. "I know, sweetie. It's terrible what happened. It's...inhuman, but it didn't happen because you tried to be happy. Don't be afraid, Adam, to go after what you need. You will be happy again and so will Tommy. It just takes time. And it can start as soon as you leave here. Kris has said you're going home with him, and you can be around your friends. We are your friends, you know. We love you."
Adam was overwhelmed at this and pulled Connie into the best hug he could manage, but he was still afraid.
"Something's gonna happen..." he began. "Something's gonna get messed up, and I'll be right back where I started."
"Oh, you've gotta have a little more faith in us than that, baby. You're already part of our lives because you're part of Tommy's. We're not going to let anything happen to you." Connie promised big, but she seemed confident, and Adam found himself wanting to believe.
"I don't want anything to happen to Tommy either," he sniffed. "I could have...fought harder, but I..." His throat closed.
Connie spoke softly. "Adam, listen to me. If you'd fought harder, you'd look just like Tommy now, if not worse. There was nothing you could have done to help him. Tommy knows that. He's just glad you're alive. He didn't know what they were doing to you, and it made him angry - not being able to stop them. But it's over now, and they can't hurt you anymore."
"They hurt me..." Adam assured. "I still feel them when I sleep."
"Well, you'll probably have that for a time, but then you'll wake up to the real world and everything in that other world of pain will get less and less strong. Soon it won't have a hold on you anymore, and you and Tommy can get on with your lives."
Some time after, Connie said she had to go and that she'd come see him again real soon. "Do you want me to tell anything to Tommy for you? I'm gonna say bye to him before I leave."
Adam said, "Do you think it'd be alright if...if I wanted him to know I loved him?"
Connie smiled. "Sweetie, nothing could be more alright. He's been waiting for that message. Took you long enough," she teased.
Somehow it felt ok to let Connie deliver the message rather than the guys. He didn't know why. It made him smile at the thought, and he almost felt like he was saying the words to Tommy himself.
***
Soon Adam was finally allowed to get up and go places, and there was only one place he wanted the nurse to take him. They gave him some soft, light blue pajama-type pants and generic slippers for his feet and a robe. Also his IV was gone and any meds he would need could be taken by mouth. The nurse held his hand as he walked down the hall very slowly. There was some pain in his back, and he had to take a lot of breaks, but she finally led Adam to Tommy's room.
Monte had been in there at the time, and he was happy to help Adam to a seat next to the bed. The nurse said she'd be back in a while to check on them.
Adam sat on a not too comfy chair and saw this thin arm reaching silently for him. He looked at Tommy's face and hardly recognized him at all. His hair was combed back and out of his eyes. His face was all the colors of a calico cat, dark blue and black and fading to a putrid yellow in some places. His eyes, Adam could tell, had been swollen too, but Tommy could open his eyes more than Adam had been able with his bad one. Tommy's cheeks and jaw were puffy and painful looking. There were fading bruises on his neck. He didn't have a shirt on, and there was a special sling that wrapped around his waist and stretched over one shoulder, binding one of Tommy's arms to his chest. A few fingers on the same hand were in splints.
But Adam couldn't look him over too much before accepting the arm that wanted him. A rush of tears from his relief hit him, and he leaned in to lay his head lightly against Tommy's uninjured shoulder. He could hear him cry, too. Tommy blurted out something that sounded like Adam's name, and they both wept together.
But Adam was so sick of crying. He wanted to talk and be with the one he couldn't stop thinking about. Working to right himself, Adam sat up a little and then leaned in to kiss a bruise on Tommy's neck, rather than possibly hurt his face. He heard Tommy sigh at the contact and relaxed a little. It was hard to know what their reunion would be like, but Adam supposed it was as good as could be expected.
He had to sit up again because his shoulder was still aching a bit, and he didn't want to agitate anything. But he still held Tommy's hand as firmly as he thought he could.
Monte had gone and was standing just outside the door like a guard. They were alone at last.
"Hey, Adam..." Tommy murmured.
"Hey, Tommy..." Adam said softly.
The shared a moment then of an unspoken unity as each knew the other was thinking about what was done to them. But now was not the time. Maybe there never would be a good time. Adam certainly knew he was through talking about that night.
"I missed you," Adam whispered.
Tommy smiled just enough to show it was there. His jaw had been set and was immobilized. When he talked, his teeth wereclenched.
"I nissed you too, so nuch," Tommy said and Adam had to adjust his focus to understand the speech. Apparently, Tommy had learned to take it slow and give every effort to be understood. "I been...wo-ried...abou' you."
"Me too...but I'm fine. I just want you to get better."
Tommy nodded. " I had a deem abou' you." He smiled again.
"You did? What did you dream?" Adam couldn't believe how well he was keeping it together.
"We 'er...you, me and my friends. An' we 'er...together." It seemed Tommy's eyes lit up just a little at the memory of the dream.
Adam smiled.
Tommy had a twinge of pain, and it showed on his face, but quickly passed. "I 'eely...r-really niss...miss you. I wish we could go home now."
Adam reached over and stroked Tommy's hair, so gentle. "We'll be together soon. We'll all be together...and none of this shit's gonna matter." That was the closest Adam would come to talking about the attack. He marveled at his ability to even say the words, attributing it to finally being in his boyfriend's presence.
Tommy whispered, "I keep thinking about us. I wan' you to kiss me."
Adam couldn't believe his ears. He worried he'd never be allowed to be intimate with Tommy anymore because of what had been done to him. But as he leaned in he said, "I'll be careful. I love you no matter what." The words just rolled out of Adam's mouth before he knew he was going to say them. Must have been absolutely true then.
The blonde's eyes were smiling sweetly.
Adam gave him something like a kiss. Their lips touched, but not much else. Tommy's mouth looked especially painful. The connection was still there though, and Adam felt warm. He'd worry about getting to do other stuff with Tommy way down the road. For now he just leaned back and smiled. Careful of the wrist that was secured in a brace, he brought Tommy's knuckles to his lips.
Tommy blushed, surprisingly. With a little sparkle in his eyes he said, "I knew you loved me."
To be continued with "Here Within My Heart"