THE WORLD DEVOURED 3/4 (the bad romance series)
Title: The World Devoured
Author: fictionfreak15
Beta: gwencarmichael
Series: The Bad Romance
Warnings: language, angst
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. This did not happen. I only write fiction.
Summary: After surviving a vicious attack, Adam and Tommy recover in the hospital. Adam misses Tommy, and feels like he'll never be happy again until he gets visits from some of Tommy's friends.
*****
A/N: Ok, we get to meet some of Tommy's crew beginning here. And special SHOUT OUT to gwencarmichael It's like you automatically know everything that worries me in every chap, and then what you say about it completely washes my worries away *glomps* And to all who have stuck with this 'verse, I litterally couldn't have continued it without you. <333333333 A little bit of light pokes thru in this chap and then the clouds return again, but I promise better things are on their way! Don't give up!
THE WORLD DEVOURED 3/4
The next day, while still under observation due to his multiple injuries, Adam was still in bed. He was fine with not going anywhere, especially after he'd gotten an unexpected visitor.
He opened his eyes to a rather unusual character sitting bed-side in a chair. He was a complete stranger, but stared at Adam with a bit of friendly concern that made him seem like...a friend. The visitor had wild, mohawkish, dark hair and was wearing a Metallica tee with black, baggy jeans and spikes around his wrists on black bands. He wore black fingernail polish like some metal-head, and his facial hair added to the alternative look. The guy was big too, bigger than Adam anyway, and he had this kind of presence about him...like if Adam would only give him a chance and not judge him by his appearance, then he could gain a friend.
Adam was still confused as to why this guy was here, and he looked around the small room to find they were alone.
Then the stranger said, "Don't sweat it, dude. It's ok. I'm not here to do anything...I just wanted to meet you and see how you are. I'm Monte. I'm a friend of Tommy's."
Adam's good eye - or the one he could halfway see out of - got a bit wide, and the only thing he could think to do in the moment was raise a hand to give Monte a weak handshake. If this guy was part of Tommy's crew and half the friend Tommy had talked about him being, then it was an honor for Adam to meet him...it really was.
"But...how did you get in here? They wouldn't have given you my room number, and you aren't part of my family," said Adam slowly.
"Well, maybe not yet. Tommy's awake and from what we can make out with his jaw wired shut, all he wants to talk about is you. Any friend of Tommy's is my brother, cuz Tommy's like a brother to me."
"Tommy's awake?" Adam said hoarsely. "How is...how is he?"
Monte looked sad. "He's feelin' pretty shitty, man. I thought it might make him feel better if I snuck in here and saw you, then I could tell him. So, here's a stupid question...how are you, Adam?" Though there was sympathy in his eyes, there was also a genuine interest that Adam picked up on from Monte. He really liked him already.
In a shaky voice, Adam spoke as though what he said was awfully important. "Can you tell Tommy that I'm fine, and I really want to see him again...and I - I hope he's not mad at me?"
The big man looked confused and serious. "Why the hell would he be mad at you?"
Adam relaxed, feeling a bit helpless. "I dunno...I just wish nothing had happened to him. I could hear-" Adam choked a bit, unable to finish his sentence. In his head, Tommy's ragged grunts from being hit over and over were ringing in his ears.
Monte didn't push...in fact, he took Adam's hand carefully. "Hey, buddy, it's ok. Just try to stay calm. I'll tell Tommy you're gonna be fine and you're thinking of him. But you know the strange thing? The little twerp feels guilty just like you. He said if he hadn't started a fist fight with some guy, then you wouldn't have been hurt."
Adam carefully wiped away a tear. "That's crazy...he was defending me."
"Well, there you go. You both feel bad, and you don't need to. So you'll both just have to get glad together. It's gonna be fun getting to know you, Adam. I can tell we're gonna be buds."
Miraculously, Adam actually attempted a smile. If all of Tommy's friends were like Monte, then Adam would whole-heartedly agree.
Adam said, "How is Tommy right now...is anyone with him?"
"Oh, sure," Monte assured. "Connie's with him. She's like...more of a sister to him. This morning she offered to let him crash at her place when he got out of here, but Tommy didn't want to impose on her and her fiance. My place is bigger anyway. I'm gonna try to get him to come home with me."
"Why doesn't he want to go back home?" asked Adam.
"It's a little complicated," said Monte. "His parents well...they don't really understand him. They were letting him crash in his old bedroom 'til he found another job, but his plan was to move back to the city anyway. If I have my way, that's where he'll be with me until he gets back on his feet."
Adam's mind was flashing on the visiting from his own parents as Monte talked. "What did...his parents say?"
"You mean when they came here? They were pretty upset by the sight of him. We all were. They love him, but...I dunno, they just...they don't understand him."
Adam felt awful about that. "I can relate..."
"Really? I guess...Tommy said you both talked a lot, said you didn't think much of yourself. I don't want you to be offended that he was talking about you to me and Connie. We're his best friends, and he shares with us things that are important to him. You mean a lot to him, Adam. I think as much as we do."
Adam was touched and relieved, so glad that Tommy didn't hate him because of what happened. "S'ok. I - I don't mind if he...told you about me."
"It's hard for Tommy to talk, and he's just really whipped...but he pretty much wants us with him as much as we can be, you know. So I think he's handling things."
Adam hesitated. "You - you mean he's not...that fucked up...about what happened?"
Monte cocked his head a little. "Let's just say he's doing better than he should...mentally anyway. He was unconscious for a long time, and when he woke up we were right there. He cried all weak-like for about half a day, and we couldn't even hug him. All we could do was just try to, you know, comfort him - touch him wherever he didn't hurt. He told us as best he could stuff he remembered, and then he kind of calmed down and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. It was a long night. He's asleep now, but this morning all he kept talking about was how much he wished he could see you and see if you're ok."
Adam felt fresh tears. Knowing that Tommy was doing better was motivating Adam again. He wanted to get better too so he could see Tommy. "Can you tell him not to worry about me, and just concentrate on feeling better? Tell him - tell him I look worse than I am."
Monte looked at Adam doubtfully, but then his eyes softened. "Ok, dude...I'll tell him. It's bullshit, but I'll tell him."
Adam guessed he couldn't fool the big guy...probably wouldn't have been able to fool Tommy either. "Thank you. I appreciate it."
Then Monte said, "Listen...Adam, I was in here for maybe a half hour or so. I thought it'd be a good time to scope you out. But...I was surprised no one was here. Do you want me to get a hold of someone for you?" He seemed to think Adam didn't deserve to be alone.
"N-no...I don't want...I mean, to tell you the truth, you're the first visitor I've had that I don't mind being around."
"That's fucked up..." Monte stated. "Tommy was goin' on and on about how awesome you are, and yet no one's coming around to see you?"
Adam didn't respond right away. Then, he felt that he could open up to Monte. "My folks came by, but it didn't go too well. They..." He brought his hands to his eyes in frustration, shutting the world off for a second. "I'm sorry..." he muttered.
"Don't worry about it. There'll be someone to listen to you when you're ready. Me or Tommy or someone in the crew. You're part of the crew now, you know. So you better get used to being around us." Monte smiled and squeezed Adam's hand a little. It felt good for Adam's soul. He squeezed back.
He lowered his hand after wiping his eyes and said, "Tommy told me about you guys, too. It made me want to meet you. He really loves you guys a lot."
Monte's smile broadened. "I love the little cuss, too..." Then something odd flashed in his eyes. "That's why if I ever find out who did that shit to him...and you...I'm gonna fuckin' kill 'em."
Adam's breath hitched a little at the unsettling seriousness in the older man's voice. "You can't! You have to let the cops take care of 'em."
Monte leaned in and couldn't hide all of the pain and anger in his face. "You don't understand, Adam. They fucked him with a chair leg or some shit, and they nearly killed him. They're sick bastards who deserve to be fucked by the devil. If I ever find out who they are, I won't be responsible for what I do." Monte's words came out too light and calm for comfort, and it scared Adam a little. But it also made him wish he had the balls to say the same thing.
"You...you just have to let the cops handle it." Adam stammered, starting to cry. "I don't want you to go to jail."
Monte had forgotten himself and came to his senses at the sight of the young man's tears. "Hey...don't start that, buddy. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that." He looked genuinely apologetic. "I gotta deal with this shit without scaring you. I didn't mean to make you up upset. I know...you're right. Tommy doesn't need to see his friend get locked up. I'm just so fuckin' pissed. Tommy's my family. Me and the gang are practically all he's got in this world - to him anyway - and I just want to kill anyone who hurts my family."
Adam understood and was relieved Monte took it back. He was a little envious too. He'd never felt that way about anybody in his life...until recently. He exhaled shakily and said, "Ok..."
Monte smiled, happy he was calming down.
"Should you be going back soon? I mean, I'm enjoying your company, but Tommy needs..."
"Hey, Tommy's ok. Connie's with him. He'll be fine. I don't have to be to work for another three hours so if you're not too tired, I'll just bullshit with you a little while longer."
Again, Adam somehow managed a smile. "Will you tell me more about Tommy...and yourself...and all his friends?"
***
Monte spent another hour and a half with Adam, telling him stories, and quirky things about the crew. There was Tommy, Monte, Connie and Kris. Kris was kind of the normal one, but he just sort of fell in with them, and now was just as important as anyone. Connie was spending a lot more time with her man lately, but they still hung out. Brian, her fiance, worked a lot. They didn't know him as well yet but knew he was a good guy. Adam found out they were all musicians. Connie was a singer and pianist; Monte, Tommy and Kris all played guitar and sang. They didn't all have the exact taste in music so they never thought seriously about forming a band, but quite often they got together and jammed, or showed each other songs they'd made up. They hadn't done it so much lately because life was getting in the way, but they hung out whenever they got the chance.
Adam thought it all sounded great and couldn't wait to meet everybody.
Monte left, saying it was time to go see Tommy and maybe relay Adam's message. Adam wanted Tommy to know he loved him but couldn't bring himself to say it through Monte. He was still so insecure about stuff and just needed time to adjust to being in love for the first time.
When Adam was alone again, he was feeling kind of good inside, but after a while, it faded as the loneliness set in. He really wished Monte could have stayed. It felt...healing to have one of Tommy's friends around. It was certain...Tommy must have been handling things better than expected because he had his crew.
Then, those awful feelings came that made Adam wonder if Monte and the others would even like him once they got to know him. He'd always felt like he was such a pussy and so self conscious and hopeless. The wonderful time he had with Tommy before the shit hit the fan must have been a fluke. However, the idea that he could actually be part of this circle of friends was like a drug to Adam, and he was desperately craving more. It made him dare to believe that he could be like them.
The more he craved, the worse he felt. Being in this moment, and so alone was incredibly depressing. Adam cried himself to sleep.
--*--
He had a dream that he was trapped somewhere. He couldn't see and couldn't move. There was a presence he couldn't name all around him, and it wanted to hurt him. The fear was maddening. He was shaking when he woke up, sweating and breathing heavy. He almost wanted to call out to someone. There was a need to just...fucking be held by someone who cared.
A nurse came in but didn't hold him. She just told him in the best way she could manage that it was only a dream. Her heart wasn't in it; she was just doing her job. Adam got it. Why would she care?
Adam had a hard time resting. There was a dim light overhead that ensured he wasn't ever in total darkness, but he just couldn't stay asleep and kept shaking. It was a difficult time. He cried some more, thinking about Tommy. He thought about how apprehensive he'd felt after they slept together and was wishing he hadn't sounded like such a whinny bitch. Mostly he cursed himself for anticipating the worst to come out of all of it. He wished he hadn't been afraid of something bad happening now that he'd found something good...like this is what lead to the attack.
Feeling so fucking bad, Adam told himself maybe it was better if he never saw Tommy again, like he was cursed or something, and couldn't bare it if Tommy suffered more because of him. If the world had it in for Adam, best to keep Tommy out of the way while it prepared to swallow him whole.
Later, Detective Anderson came in to give Adam an update. He'd asked if Adam had seen his parents at all, and Adam briefly said he had but kicked them out of his room before long.
"Then, they didn't tell you about Neil?"
Adam froze. He was freaking out inside a little at the mention of his brother. Part of him wanted to know what happened to him; part of him didn't give a flying fuck, and part of him hoped Neil felt like shit for the rest of his life.
The detective continued. "No one knew where he was. He was found at a friend's house across town and was taken in for questioning earlier that morning. The fact that he disappeared didn't look good. But he told everything he knew when I questioned him. I think it's important that you know some of what he said."
Anderson proceeded to tell an almost indifferent Adam that Neil had been a little drunk the night of the party and was told by someone named Kari that she had earlier heard Tommy in his room, and it sounded like he'd been having sex with a man - a man he called Adam. (Adam kind of knew Kari from high school, so it didn't surprise him that she would blab to Neil, knowing they were brothers.)
Neil had been with a buddy of his at the time and was humiliated because his friend heard what Kari said about his brother boning another guy. He got real mad. The friend, John, decided to go round up the rest of the crew while Neil went upstairs to confront Adam.
Neil kicked the bedroom door open and saw Adam being held by Tommy, neither one wearing clothes. The noise brought onlookers to the hall. Tommy was pissed at what Neil had done, and Neil was furious that his brother was "being gay". He called them both faggots which pissed Tommy off even more. Tommy lunged for Neil, and they began fighting. But Neil was built more like Adam, so he had the upper hand over the blonde in the beginning. This prompted Adam to come to his boyfriend's aid. As Adam struggled to break them up, Neil's crew came into the room and restrained him.
Neil had said he just figured if he left, then his friends would leave with him. He was still furious and humiliated because there were snooping people who found out what was going on.
Tommy's sister found him. They went to the backyard to talk about what Neil had just seen their siblings doing. She would understand because Tommy was her brother. Neil never knew Tommy every well because Tommy was more Adam's age, and they hadn't gone to the same school. He'd met Tommy's sister through other friends, and she was telling him about Tommy. That he was kind of a wild child who'd been in fights before, and never listened to their parents. She said that though he'd had girlfriends, Tommy had fooled around with boys, too. She thought it was just to feed his rebellious side, but part of her had suspected he was maybe bi.
When they were done talking, stepping over passed out people in the yard, Neil decided it was time to calm down and take Adam home. But he was immediately stopped by Grant who was frantic. He said the guys took Adam and Tommy. He said they were headed to the condemned house in Neil's old neighborhood. He thought the guys were just going to scare Tommy and Adam. They'd ruffed Adam up a little and forced him into a backseat. They threw Tommy into the trunk of another car. Grant followed them out because he didn't think it was going to get so out of hand, but it went way beyond scaring a couple 'fags'. Grant was too chicken-shit to try to stop a bunch of drunken assholes from kidnapping them, so he went back inside to find Neil.
They went in Grant's car and pulled up to the shitty house. They could hear yelling, laughing and coughing. It was still going on, so they couldn't have been at it for too long. When Neil went in and saw what his buddies were doing, he freaked. He got them to stop, and they were caught red handed, but ready to defend themselves against Neil if he decided to get revenge. There were too many for Neil to conquer, so after he got them to leave, he surveyed the scene, and saw . He thought his brother was dead and just wanted to get out of there. Grant was in the same boat. They just bolted, and Grant took Neil home with him. They didn't try to get help; they didn't call the cops, they just wanted to forget.
The next day, Neil had a feeling his brother was dead by now if he hadn't been before. He didn't do anything to help last night; there was a guilt that was paralyzing him. When the cops came to question him as a witness, he was both relieved and petrified. But Detective Anderson said that if he told the truth it would be better for everyone. So Neil did, and he didn't face charges of obstruction because he gave the names and addresses of everyone involved. The others were likely to get the book thrown at them.
When Anderson was done talking, Adam was just staring out of the window. He literally didn't know how to feel.
"Adam? Do you have any questions?"
After a moment, Adam asked, "Does Tommy know?"
Anderson shook his head. "You are fairing a bit better than him, so I decided to tell you first. I'll come back later when Mr. Ratliff's family is present. I would have waited for your family, but I was told that you were refusing to see them."
Adam didn't want to go there. So he asked, "Do...do I have to get a lawyer?"
"A prosecutor will be assigned to the case, and with Neil's testimony, there shouldn't be any need for you or Tommy to take the stand if it goes to trial. Neil's account will be more reliable. There will also be witnesses from the party who'll be willing to tell what they saw. Since your memory has been affected, there will be a lot of questions you can't answer anyway."
Adam nodded. He was relieved, suddenly not wanting anything to do with a trial. Maybe someone would just be good enough to tell him when it was all over.
Soon Detective Anderson was gone, and Adam was alone again. Hearing about things he didn't know had happened threatened to make him relive some of what he remembered. He tried instead to replay the hours before. Talking with Tommy, and then kissing him, wanting him so bad. But he couldn't feel Tommy anymore. His touch had been forgotten during the beating, he supposed. It was such an empty feeling. So empty that Adam couldn't even cry. Still, he considered that it might have been worse if he hadn't at least met Monte.
-IS IT BRIGHT WHERE YOU ARE? AND HAVE THE PEOPLE CHANGED?
-DOES IT MAKE YOU HAPPY, YOU'RE SO STRANGE?
-AND IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR MY OLD SECRETS LAID
-WE CAN WATCH THE WORLD DEVOURED IN ITS HATEnothing but fear
tbc w/ chapter 4 (Coming Soon)