arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon.
IT IS REALLY FUCKING HOT.
Just so you know.
ANYWAY.
I don't know how I am at the moment [except really fucking hot]. She's... confusing me [and if you know me or follow this LJ at all you know who I am referring to]. Like... yeah.
I told her I wouldn't mind being like Jonne and Kris were in a fic I wrote [which I should probably post on sweetndeceitful ] if she was willing. I told her I wouldn't mind having her for a tiny half-hour a day, or even less, if she was willing.
She said that it'd be cheating. Which it may very well be, yes [unless she tells him and he's agreeable... I am in no way a fan of polygamy but y'know...]. But then she says that next time she stays over, she is totally mine. And my question here is what the fuck. Which is a question I ask a lot.
I told her I can live off one night, too. I can just... rewind and playback and relive it just like I do with concerts. And... she didn't say anything. I have made it clear, by the way, that I don't necessarily want to fuck her [yet, that is... to be honest I'd rather we were in an actual relationship before that]. Just... y'know. Not fucking her. Not necessarily stuff that's even close to that. Not yet. I just... it sounds so childish and cliché chick-flicky but I just want to kiss her.
[Side note: I find this hard to say IRL too. Likely because of my mother.]
I'm so lame I even have this whole kinda-cinematic fantasy-type-thing, with her.
We go to Soundwave [which we are going to, btw... or at least we are at the moment - my parents have said if the stuff doesn't stop / therapy doesn't help I can't go with her or at all], and... yeah. We meet Ville, which ends with me having a total breakdown afterwards because I realise for a tiny little moment I had the two things, two people, that I truly do love next to me. And it goes on, as Soundwave no doubt will, and we stand in the mosh and watch HIM play. And they play Join Me [which is possibly my favorite song of all time for various reasons] and right... there's a particular part of the song, before the end. And it's... if you have the song, go to 2:52, you can hear the part I'm talking about at 2:53. And just as they're up to that part, just as they're playing that exact line, that exact part, I just turn around in this crowd of people and kiss her. And for that split second the world is perfect.
Goddamn. I really am just... wishing empty wishes, aren't I?
Fuck.
Just so you know.
ANYWAY.
I don't know how I am at the moment [except really fucking hot]. She's... confusing me [and if you know me or follow this LJ at all you know who I am referring to]. Like... yeah.
I told her I wouldn't mind being like Jonne and Kris were in a fic I wrote [which I should probably post on sweetndeceitful ] if she was willing. I told her I wouldn't mind having her for a tiny half-hour a day, or even less, if she was willing.
She said that it'd be cheating. Which it may very well be, yes [unless she tells him and he's agreeable... I am in no way a fan of polygamy but y'know...]. But then she says that next time she stays over, she is totally mine. And my question here is what the fuck. Which is a question I ask a lot.
I told her I can live off one night, too. I can just... rewind and playback and relive it just like I do with concerts. And... she didn't say anything. I have made it clear, by the way, that I don't necessarily want to fuck her [yet, that is... to be honest I'd rather we were in an actual relationship before that]. Just... y'know. Not fucking her. Not necessarily stuff that's even close to that. Not yet. I just... it sounds so childish and cliché chick-flicky but I just want to kiss her.
[Side note: I find this hard to say IRL too. Likely because of my mother.]
I'm so lame I even have this whole kinda-cinematic fantasy-type-thing, with her.
We go to Soundwave [which we are going to, btw... or at least we are at the moment - my parents have said if the stuff doesn't stop / therapy doesn't help I can't go with her or at all], and... yeah. We meet Ville, which ends with me having a total breakdown afterwards because I realise for a tiny little moment I had the two things, two people, that I truly do love next to me. And it goes on, as Soundwave no doubt will, and we stand in the mosh and watch HIM play. And they play Join Me [which is possibly my favorite song of all time for various reasons] and right... there's a particular part of the song, before the end. And it's... if you have the song, go to 2:52, you can hear the part I'm talking about at 2:53. And just as they're up to that part, just as they're playing that exact line, that exact part, I just turn around in this crowd of people and kiss her. And for that split second the world is perfect.
Goddamn. I really am just... wishing empty wishes, aren't I?
Fuck.