Endings, and possibly a begining.
All of my hobbies are ending.
Turns out that volume 22 of Fruits Basket is the last one. It was a highly satisfying ending to a really lovely series but I wasn't ready for it to be over. It's making me think about all the other things that have ended. No more FB, or HP. I've watched a whole heap of anime on the internet but it only takes me a weekend to watch the whole series, which makes it less of a journey and easier to forget. There is no more La Corda D'oro, Chobits, Karin, or DNAngel, and there's only a few eps of Ouran left.
It used to be that I focused my hobbies on real books, not mangas. They lasted so much longer and I had a year or two to wait and ponder between installments. It was a journey with the author and it was more real to me. I seem to have lost that. I few years back a friend got me hooked on romance novels and it wiped my enjoyment of the usual fantasy books that I read. I have no interest in the romance novels but it took real effort to stop reading them. Now I can't really get into any new books. Harry Potter was the only one that really stayed with me. But that's gone now too.
I'm not leaving the fandom or anything. I still love HP and the fan fic. I'm just finding it harder to participate. I have ideas for fan fics but I can't get them to go anywhere. I need to find something new. A new author or the concentration to stick with an old author. Or maybe I need a project. I haven't done any real craft for a long time. So long a time that I can't even remember what my last project was. I don't think I even listen to music anymore. Not really anyway.
I'm starting to think I'm losing the plot of my own life. I have no idea what I'm doing. I need to get a new 'something' to occupy my time, but I'm not actively looking for whatever it is. I need a new job too, but I haven't applied for anything. Not even the one that a friend of mine practically handed to me on a silver platter.
Basically, I need to get a new job and get myself a new challenge. I keep avoiding actually doing that, but hopefully, by putting this here, I'll feel like a failure if I don't do anything. This is part of my 'no backing out' scheme for myself. If people expect me to do something, then I'm more likely to be motivated into doing it.
Also, I want a record of Sarah. She's a character who peeked her head around one of the corners in my mind today. I don't know who she is yet. All I know is a little of what she looks like and that there is something, some sort of hurdle or blockage in her life, that she needs to get past - something to do with feathers, I think. I've never had a character come to me like that before. Especially not one with a name. Names are always the one of the hardest parts for me.
Now that I've written her down, I'll have this to look back on and add to the next time she peeks her head around that corner. I have to remember her, I get the feeling that she's going to be very important to me.
Turns out that volume 22 of Fruits Basket is the last one. It was a highly satisfying ending to a really lovely series but I wasn't ready for it to be over. It's making me think about all the other things that have ended. No more FB, or HP. I've watched a whole heap of anime on the internet but it only takes me a weekend to watch the whole series, which makes it less of a journey and easier to forget. There is no more La Corda D'oro, Chobits, Karin, or DNAngel, and there's only a few eps of Ouran left.
It used to be that I focused my hobbies on real books, not mangas. They lasted so much longer and I had a year or two to wait and ponder between installments. It was a journey with the author and it was more real to me. I seem to have lost that. I few years back a friend got me hooked on romance novels and it wiped my enjoyment of the usual fantasy books that I read. I have no interest in the romance novels but it took real effort to stop reading them. Now I can't really get into any new books. Harry Potter was the only one that really stayed with me. But that's gone now too.
I'm not leaving the fandom or anything. I still love HP and the fan fic. I'm just finding it harder to participate. I have ideas for fan fics but I can't get them to go anywhere. I need to find something new. A new author or the concentration to stick with an old author. Or maybe I need a project. I haven't done any real craft for a long time. So long a time that I can't even remember what my last project was. I don't think I even listen to music anymore. Not really anyway.
I'm starting to think I'm losing the plot of my own life. I have no idea what I'm doing. I need to get a new 'something' to occupy my time, but I'm not actively looking for whatever it is. I need a new job too, but I haven't applied for anything. Not even the one that a friend of mine practically handed to me on a silver platter.
Basically, I need to get a new job and get myself a new challenge. I keep avoiding actually doing that, but hopefully, by putting this here, I'll feel like a failure if I don't do anything. This is part of my 'no backing out' scheme for myself. If people expect me to do something, then I'm more likely to be motivated into doing it.
Also, I want a record of Sarah. She's a character who peeked her head around one of the corners in my mind today. I don't know who she is yet. All I know is a little of what she looks like and that there is something, some sort of hurdle or blockage in her life, that she needs to get past - something to do with feathers, I think. I've never had a character come to me like that before. Especially not one with a name. Names are always the one of the hardest parts for me.
Now that I've written her down, I'll have this to look back on and add to the next time she peeks her head around that corner. I have to remember her, I get the feeling that she's going to be very important to me.