Title: Confessions Of The Father
Rating: PG
Length: Drabble (453 words)
Pairings: implied Michael/Lucifer
Era: Pre-pre series
Warnings: None
Summary: Even an all-powerful, omniscient God has a few doubts and fears He needs to express at times ... especially in regards to his eldest sons.
Note: Written for the "Day to Day" challenge on
spnland; prompt - 'write five interconnected entries from the diary or journal of a Supernatural character'
*ENTRY 01
I can tell that he is lonely. That he needs another to stand by his side, to be with him, and I know that such is the way things will end up being … in time.
But I do not want to place that burden upon him yet. I don’t want to lay such a weight on his shoulders.
Perhaps tomorrow, I will bring his brother into this world.
*ENTRY 02
It was as I had hoped … and as I had feared. Though there are others - many, many others - and our family is large, no one is closer than they are.
I hadn’t even had to tell him what to do, when he first met his younger brother. It was instinctive for both of them to bond so closely.
But now I fear that I have let it go too far, for too long.
For I worry, now, about what will happen when events unfold … as they must.
*ENTRY 03
I could hardly look at my eldest today. I knew the emotions he felt as I told him what must be done; I knew that he felt as if I’d betrayed him, as if I’d only given him so much peace, just to destroy it.
But he could not understand.
He had no way of truly knowing how much I hoped that things could be different, how much I had hoped that his destiny - that his brother’s path - could have been anything than what it was.
Destroying either of them was never what I wanted.
*ENTRY 04
I know that my Morningstar sought me out right before the end, and perhaps it was wrong of me, but I could not face him, either. It was hard enough to give Michael his orders; I could not bring myself to face the very son I would be turning away.
I could not force myself to try and explain the reason his path was laid out the way that it was, the reason that he and Michael had been placed together - only to be torn apart.
My Morningstar was too bright, too intelligent. He would not be fooled by half-truths or feeble explanations.
It was part of why he was my favorite.
No, he could not be lied to.
And I couldn’t bring myself to even try.
*ENTRY 05
It is done.
But I cannot stay here.
Even if this is Home, even if I am expected to be here, I cannot remain. It is too much. The memories, the emotions … the removal of my Morningstar has hurt me more than I thought it would, I admit.
Michael will do fine in my absence, I am sure. He has never failed me, after all …
No matter what I ask.
~*~
Finite!
~Megan