*Growl*
That growl was my stomach you heard. I have a secret - a secret that I fear, if it escapes, will quash my goal. Goal being to lose approximately 20 pounds (OK, 15.) I am and have always been a curvy lady. I am a black-haired, tattooed Marilyn Monroe in "Some Like It Hot", only more top heavy (!$&%^*@!!!!!) I don't dislike the way I look, but I DO dislike the way I ride. Yes, that's right, I am losing weight to improve my dressage seat.
*collective groan from the peanut gallery*
Why are the best dressage riders men? Because men have no thighs or arse to speak of to get in the way of their perfect leg position. Men don't ever have to do the stick-your-legs-straight-out-and-lower-them-slowly-back-against-the-saddle-while-attempting-to-tuck-your-thighs-backwards exercise when they ride. Men don't worry that they have to wear white breeches in dressage, because they have no fear of looking "hippy". They don't need to do as many leg lengthening stretches in the saddle, because their legs are already long. Riders, have you ever really noticed Charles deKnuffy's legs? They are they most spindly, stick-iest legs I have ever seen in my life. And this is when he's wearing WHITE breeches. Can you imagine what kind of toothpick the poor man would resemble in black breeches?
(photo not altered!)
Go on, LOOK at those things! Are you surprised the man is a dressage master? That horse could feel a mosquito land on that man's knee!
Don't get me wrong. I don't intend to look like this man (you were scared for a moment, weren't you?!) But it would be nice to firm up even more (and perhaps, just perhaps, eliminate the need to don one regular bra under two additional sports bras when riding. Proper breathing is pretty difficult when you can't, you know, breathe.) Is this God's way of telling me that women aren't meant to have perfect seats? Well, since when am I one to listen to deities, anyway? Excess weight begone!
And now I will offer an "ADD content" dislcaimer. You've been warned!
I wonder if any ADD/ADHD studies have been done regarding the consumption of mostly carbs vs. consumption of mainly protein in patients. I have discovered that if I don't have some sort of protein for breakfast, and then a bit more with lunch, and still some more with dinner, than I am the proverbial dingbat. Feed me oatmeal from breakfast, pasta for lunch and God-knows-what for dinner and you might as well call me Edith Bunker. Unfortunately, the latter is what I ate today. It was one airhead move after another today. I found myself looking at completed work (work that I completed, even!) that I have absolutely, positively NO recollection of ever doing or even looking at. It's amusing when it's just me noticing these things, but when my ADD interferes with coworker's questions or conversations with me...then I get frustrated, flustered, and most likely seem even MORE "weird". I don't know how much of the "weird" is real and how much is in my head. My head is completely remorseless when it comes to unflattering thoughts about myself. Sadly, that is apparently a nearly universal trail of ADDers, especially women. But where are you supposed to derive your self-confidence from, if you fail at many tasks, fail to follow through with yet others, and continue to be unable to understand some of your schoolwork regardless of how high your IQ is, how well you do in other subjects, etc? Why, your appearance, of course! I was intrigued to read in an ADD book one woman's account of how she felt that her appearance and pleasant personality carried her through her younger years and managed to make her feel somewhat normal/"with it". I can relate, oh my, can I relate. I was invisible inside and out til I was 13, which is when I decided I was "pretty". I continued to be "pretty" and this mindless accomplishment of mine truly is what allowed me to get to know people in high school. Boys paid attention to me, many became friends, their friends became my friends, those friends became a whole crowd etc. My tattoos, pink hair, crazy clothes etc. were also useful in that they were conversation pieces. (I MUST find photos of that to put up here!) Sooo, now that I am no longer in a juvenille-ish school setting, and hardly ever exposed to my peers, and wear conservative (dare I say boring?) clothes and my hair is quite normal and most of my tattoos are covered, I look...kind of...well, I blend in. It is sad to state that one's main talent lies in their appearance and/or its "uniqueness" (you know what I mean - not "unique", just tattooed, or "different" if you will.) But unfortunately, that is the reality for many ADDers, especially ladies. It's not that I have no personality. I do - I even have a brain, and it even works - it's just that I don't trust it enough to not "make a fool" of me, and then the harder I think about it, the worse it gets. That's the hallmark of ADD right there. Thinking about something too much is THE kiss of death, be it performing a decent leg yield at your riding lesson or simply trying to recall which box to click on to get to your workplace e-mail account. The key is learning to rely on your feel and instinct alone - it is uncanny how far those two things can take you and what you can accomplish, if you let them lead you. Or maybe Ritalin is the key. I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know my ruling, though, when I'm medicated.
*collective groan from the peanut gallery*
Why are the best dressage riders men? Because men have no thighs or arse to speak of to get in the way of their perfect leg position. Men don't ever have to do the stick-your-legs-straight-out-and-lower-them-slowly-back-against-the-saddle-while-attempting-to-tuck-your-thighs-backwards exercise when they ride. Men don't worry that they have to wear white breeches in dressage, because they have no fear of looking "hippy". They don't need to do as many leg lengthening stretches in the saddle, because their legs are already long. Riders, have you ever really noticed Charles deKnuffy's legs? They are they most spindly, stick-iest legs I have ever seen in my life. And this is when he's wearing WHITE breeches. Can you imagine what kind of toothpick the poor man would resemble in black breeches?
(photo not altered!)
Go on, LOOK at those things! Are you surprised the man is a dressage master? That horse could feel a mosquito land on that man's knee!
Don't get me wrong. I don't intend to look like this man (you were scared for a moment, weren't you?!) But it would be nice to firm up even more (and perhaps, just perhaps, eliminate the need to don one regular bra under two additional sports bras when riding. Proper breathing is pretty difficult when you can't, you know, breathe.) Is this God's way of telling me that women aren't meant to have perfect seats? Well, since when am I one to listen to deities, anyway? Excess weight begone!
And now I will offer an "ADD content" dislcaimer. You've been warned!
I wonder if any ADD/ADHD studies have been done regarding the consumption of mostly carbs vs. consumption of mainly protein in patients. I have discovered that if I don't have some sort of protein for breakfast, and then a bit more with lunch, and still some more with dinner, than I am the proverbial dingbat. Feed me oatmeal from breakfast, pasta for lunch and God-knows-what for dinner and you might as well call me Edith Bunker. Unfortunately, the latter is what I ate today. It was one airhead move after another today. I found myself looking at completed work (work that I completed, even!) that I have absolutely, positively NO recollection of ever doing or even looking at. It's amusing when it's just me noticing these things, but when my ADD interferes with coworker's questions or conversations with me...then I get frustrated, flustered, and most likely seem even MORE "weird". I don't know how much of the "weird" is real and how much is in my head. My head is completely remorseless when it comes to unflattering thoughts about myself. Sadly, that is apparently a nearly universal trail of ADDers, especially women. But where are you supposed to derive your self-confidence from, if you fail at many tasks, fail to follow through with yet others, and continue to be unable to understand some of your schoolwork regardless of how high your IQ is, how well you do in other subjects, etc? Why, your appearance, of course! I was intrigued to read in an ADD book one woman's account of how she felt that her appearance and pleasant personality carried her through her younger years and managed to make her feel somewhat normal/"with it". I can relate, oh my, can I relate. I was invisible inside and out til I was 13, which is when I decided I was "pretty". I continued to be "pretty" and this mindless accomplishment of mine truly is what allowed me to get to know people in high school. Boys paid attention to me, many became friends, their friends became my friends, those friends became a whole crowd etc. My tattoos, pink hair, crazy clothes etc. were also useful in that they were conversation pieces. (I MUST find photos of that to put up here!) Sooo, now that I am no longer in a juvenille-ish school setting, and hardly ever exposed to my peers, and wear conservative (dare I say boring?) clothes and my hair is quite normal and most of my tattoos are covered, I look...kind of...well, I blend in. It is sad to state that one's main talent lies in their appearance and/or its "uniqueness" (you know what I mean - not "unique", just tattooed, or "different" if you will.) But unfortunately, that is the reality for many ADDers, especially ladies. It's not that I have no personality. I do - I even have a brain, and it even works - it's just that I don't trust it enough to not "make a fool" of me, and then the harder I think about it, the worse it gets. That's the hallmark of ADD right there. Thinking about something too much is THE kiss of death, be it performing a decent leg yield at your riding lesson or simply trying to recall which box to click on to get to your workplace e-mail account. The key is learning to rely on your feel and instinct alone - it is uncanny how far those two things can take you and what you can accomplish, if you let them lead you. Or maybe Ritalin is the key. I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know my ruling, though, when I'm medicated.