On The Edge: Chapter 11
It didn’t take Kris long to decide that there were just too many people in the house. Adam had been a great help, but Kris was starting to get more edgy and irritable the more Adam watched him, and asked if he was okay.
“We can take it from here,” Kris assured.
Adam blinked. Kris looked like hell. He didn’t look like he could walk two steps without someone holding his arm. Besides that, the press had discovered they were home, and there were paparazzi in their yard.
“Are you sure?” Adam asked. “I can stay tonight if you need an extra set of hands,” he offered.
He turned his attention to Katy who was watching Kris. Kris shook his head.
“We’ll be okay,” Katy reassured, though she barely opened her mouth when she spoke, so that Adam thought of a ventriloquist.
Adam gave Kaleb a quick peck on the cheek. He was too entwined in Katy to want attention from anyone else, and then Adam got down to Jesse’s height and pressed a piece of paper in his hand. “If you need anything, you call me, okay? You can always call me.”
Jesse unfolded the paper and found not only Adam’s number, but Allison’s, Tyler’s and Joan’s. “Them, too?” he asked, unsure.
“Yeah, them, too. Call any of us. Okay? Anytime.”
“It doesn’t have to be an emergency?” Jesse asked, skeptically. Before, Kris and Katy would only let him call Adam if it was really important. Like an almost-911 emergency but not quite.
“Nope,” Adam smiled, and hoped Jesse couldn’t tell it was fake, but who was he kidding? Jesse was an expert at reading body language. “If I don’t answer right away, I’ll call you back as soon as I can. And if you want to talk to someone right then, call Allison or Joan or Tyler. They’ll all be there for you, too.”
“Okay,” Jesse shrugged. “See ya, I guess.”
Jesse wasn’t so sure about all this. He almost would rather have Adam stay around, because these people were like Kris and Katy, but they didn’t seem like the real thing. They were too stiff and not smiling. Like robots. And Kris didn’t want Adam around, and Kris was the one who asked Adam to watch them in the first place, and that was weird.
He watched Adam go, and then stared at Kris and Katy. Would this whole thing change their minds about him? Jesse was still wondering that, but didn’t want to bother them about it, especially when they looked so beat up.
--
Supper time was strained and strange, Kris knew. He was afraid to move anything, Jesse remained standoffish and overly helpful, and Kaleb was crabby for reasons Kris couldn’t figure out.
Katy had gotten up for the second time to stare into the refrigerator, looking for something.
“Honey. What are you looking for?” Kris asked. He was so tired, and hoped the kids would cooperate and go to bed tonight.
“I don’t think I put the milk out…” she said absently.
“It’s out,” he confirmed, with no emotion.
“It’s out?”
“Yeah, it’s out. Now come sit down, okay? You’re wasting all the power in the fridge.”
Kris watched Katy shake her head a little, and do a double-take at the gallon of 2% already on the table.
“Did Adam shop for groceries?” she asked, confused.
Jesse shook his head, picking at the leftover enchilada that Allison made. It didn’t taste as good tonight, but Jesse wasn’t about to say anything. “No, Tyler picked it up, I think,” he said, taking a bite.
“These are good. Adam didn’t make these…” Kris trailed off, sounding sure.
“Nope. Allison.”
“Wow, you guys had a lot of help, huh?” Kris said, trying to sound impressed. He sort of wished he hadn’t sent everybody away, but there was nothing he could do about that now.
Kaleb hadn’t stopped whining since they put him in his high chair to eat. He hadn’t liked the enchilada last night, so Jesse was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like it tonight either.
“I not care dis,” he pouted, pushing the plate with his toddler fork.
Katy leaned over and talked to him quietly. “I know you don’t care for this, but this is what we’re having.”
Jesse blinked. They never made him eat something he didn’t care for. And he had never really seen them make Kaleb eat something he didn’t want.
“I think it’s really spicy to him,” Jesse volunteered. Maybe he wants a sandwich instead.” He offered the suggestion helpfully, because he knew that’s what big brothers did. Protected little brothers from things that hurt them.
“I not want dat, Jesse!“ Kaleb screeched, and Kris scraped his chair back.
“Do you want a nap instead?” Kris snapped. “’Cause that’s where you’re headed if you don’t shape up.”
Though nobody had come at him, or even raised a hand to him, Kaleb started to cry. It kind of made Jesse want to cry, too.
Then Katy was up, too, with her hand on Kris’s arm. While she was talking softly to him, Jesse slowly got up from his chair, and got Kaleb out of his seat, carrying them both to Jesse’s room.
On the way by, he could hear Katy talking quietly, telling Kris that everything was okay. That he couldn’t yell at the kids. That they would figure out something together. Jesse watched her touch Kris on the arm, and Kris shrug her off.
--
“It’s okay,” Jesse said quietly, bouncing Kaleb up and down a little. He moved some toys to the side with his foot, and set Kaleb down. Then he reached under the bed for his special lunchbox. He never ate anything out of it, so there would always be something in it, in case. But he would share with Kaleb, because Kaleb was hungry.
“Here, you want some Goldfish crackers?” he asked, poking one in Kaleb’s mouth so maybe he would stop crying.
It worked pretty good, too, because Kaleb liked Goldfish. So Jesse let Kaleb have all of them he wanted. Then, he played superheroes and Legos with him. Jesse didn’t let Kaleb go back out to the kitchen, until a little later, when Jesse had the chance to check things out. He saw Kris and Katy out on the deck, and Jesse sneaked out there.
He set Kaleb up in the high chair and took the enchilada, making him a peanut butter sandwich instead, because it was fast. Because Kaleb said please, Jesse cut it into four triangles.
Then, he started putting everything away. He ignored his own stomach when it growled, because he had only gotten to eat a few bites. He put the leftovers away, and cleared the table, wiping it off with a dish cloth. Then he rinsed off all the dishes and loaded them in the dishwasher.
He talked to Kaleb, keeping him busy. Jesse had purposely turned Kaleb so he couldn’t see his mom and dad out the deck door. Otherwise, he’d probably throw another fit, and Jesse couldn’t handle that. It didn’t look like Kris or Katy could, either.
--
“It’s all right, Kris. We’ll get help, okay? For all of us.” Katy said trying to stay calm. Kris wasn’t the kind of man who paced and was angry like this. It made Katy nervous.
“I need to get over to Home Depot. But I can’t go out like this,” Kris insisted, as though Katy hadn’t spoken at all. In a very short time, Kris had become an expert at compartmentalizing his life. The road and all that happened there, had its own section, buried somewhere deep. That way, he could function. Think about things that needed to be done. Like changing the locks.
When he saw the flash that only meant a paparazzi was snapping a picture, Kris ducked inside, barely registering the clean kitchen, or that his boys had vacated it.
--
Jesse could barely keep his eyes open even though it was only after supper. He listened to Kaleb talk on and on about the yellow man - the one that he was hiding in the secret place that Jesse helped him build.
“He be safe in here. Right, Jesse?” Kaleb asked, putting the Lego man in the little covered up with blocks on every side and on top.
“Yeah,” Jesse stifled a yawn. “You wanna sleep in my room tonight?” he asked.
“Yes,” Kaleb answered, distracted. “I do.”
--
By the time Katy thought to look around for Jesse and Kaleb, a lot of time had passed. Her heartbeat sped up, hoping that they were okay. That Jesse hadn’t decided to take Kaleb and run after Kris had lost his temper. But she found them both in Jesse’s room.
Jesse was sprawled on the floor, and Kaleb was resting his head on Jesse’s stomach. Both were fast asleep, and Katy was grateful that Jesse had the presence of mind to keep an eye on his brother, when she and Kris were sidetracked.
It made her vaguely worried. The random checks that Jesse’s caseworker would continue to make. The adoption. Would everything stop once they knew what had happened? Would they lose Jesse? Katy couldn’t imagine it and wouldn’t let herself. But they had to figure something out. She couldn’t have Kris losing his temper with the boys. He never had a temper before.
Katy let out a shuddering breath.
She could fix this.
She had to.
--
Jesse thrashed in the grips of a nightmare. Only this time, it was different. This time, it was like his old life and his new life collided.
His biological mom’s loser boyfriend was beating on the door, just like he had a bunch of times, after she kicked him out. But now, he was outside Kris and Katy’s house. He burst inside and Jesse curled up tight. It was like he couldn’t move. Because Jesse knew what was coming next.
Jesse screamed like he always did, for it to stop. But it didn’t. He took out his big knife and cut Katy and started beating up Kris until they were on the floor. Kaleb screamed in the background, and Jesse shook. He covered his ears and tried to be quiet. But listening to them being beaten was worse than taking it himself.
--
Gasping, Jesse woke up. He was still on the floor of his room and pee soaked the crotch of his jeans. Nobody had come to help him, and he could hear raised voices in the living room.
So, with his heart pounding in his throat, Jesse sneaked down the hall to the kitchen to get the house phone. Adam had said Jesse could call him whenever, and not just if there was an emergency.
He waited, shaking and praying that Adam would pick up,
--
It was 9:30 and Adam was just about to go into the first party he’d been to in a while, when his cell rang:
This is my winter song to you.
Adam sighed. He didn’t mean to, it just happened. Because he had just gotten out of kid duty and it was either Kris about the kids or Allison wanting something. He took a deep breath and said hello.
“Adam?” a little voice said on the other end.
“Hey, Jess. What’s up?”
Jesse bit his lip to keep from making any noise. Then Adam would know he was crying. But he couldn’t really help it. “I dreamed the people that hurt Kris and Katy came here. Well, actually, it was my other mom’s boyfriend, who always hurt us. He was the bad guy in my dream…and I’m scared,” his voice broke, but Jesse hoped Adam wouldn’t mind.
“Aw, buddy. I’m sorry. What can I do to help?” Adam asked, distracted as someone at the door waved at him.
Jesse took a deep breath. He knew that tone. “It’s no big deal. I shouldn’t have called.”
“Yes, you should’ve. I told you to, remember?” Adam pressed.
“You’re busy, though. Aren’t you?” Jesse insisted, sniffling.
“Not if you need me right now,” Adam answered, and he meant it.