On The Edge: Chapter 5
Adam slapped the alarm when it went off at 7 AM. Playing a Taylor Swift song this early ought to be illegal.
The night had not gone well. Adam had been awake for most of it. He slept lightly and fitfully when he did manage to close his eyes. He let out a breath, and forced himself out of bed. He could already hear Kaleb awake and talking to himself.
Adam paused outside the door, in time to hear, “Mama? I peed!”
“Really, Kaleb?” he asked, shaking his head. The urine scent was strong and Adam hoped that Kaleb hadn’t managed to soak through anything. Changing a diaper was bad enough.
“No. No want you, Adam,” Kaleb said, waving an arm at him in what Adam guessed was a dismissive way.
“Sorry, buddy, but we’re stuck with each other for now,” Adam said, lifting Kaleb out of the crib and trying to remember where the hell he’d put the diapers last night.
“Want Mama an’ Daddy,” Kaleb whined.
“Let’s change you and get dressed. Then, maybe you can watch Elmo again!” Adam tried to sound excited, when really, if he had to hear that thing screeching on TV one more time, Adam was sure he would go insane. Adam wasn’t a fan of changing diapers either, so he did it as fast as possible.
Adam was halfway to the DVD player when he remembered. Kaleb had missed getting stretched last night. Which probably meant he really needed it today.
“Okay, timeout!” Adam said.
“No…I not naughty…” Kaleb whimpered, tears in his eyes.
Adam glanced at Kaleb and felt like shit. “No, no, no…” he said quickly. “I meant timeout for me, not you.”
“Adam’s naughty?” Kaleb asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah, I forgot to stretch you last night,” Adam said, sticking his lower lip out. “I’m sorry.”
“I okay, Adam,” Kaleb told him seriously.
“I know, but lets get this done, so that your legs will feel all better.”
When Kaleb started bawling before Adam touched him, Adam just about gave up. But he knew he didn’t have that option. He held one tiny stick-leg in his hand around the calf, using the other to press down on Kaleb’s knee. Adam slowly raised it, and winced as Kaleb howled louder.
--
Jesse woke up, gasping. He hadn’t remembered falling asleep, but he must have, because it was morning. Jesse was exhausted and soaked in pee. He felt embarrassed first and then scared. What would happen to him? Jesse didn’t feel all the way awake and he wasn’t sure where he was. It looked like his room at Kris and Katy’s but something felt different.
His dreams had been bad ones, where Jordan and Jasmine were hurt and couldn’t get away. In the dream, Jesse did everything he could, but nothing worked, and they kept screaming for him.
Now Kaleb was screaming.
Jesse didn’t let himself think, he just ran toward the sound.
--
Adam had moved onto the other leg, and Kaleb was thrashing and screaming, like he was being tortured. Adam’s mind went completely blank and he just focused on getting this done. Screaming kids weren’t something Adam was equipped to deal with, especially since Costa Rica.
“Jesse!” Kaleb sobbed, and Adam willed the time to go by faster. He hated causing pain, even if it was for a good reason.
--
In the kitchen, Jesse had a good view into Kaleb’s room. He could see Kaleb’s face, all red with tears coming down. Somebody was hurting him. When Kaleb called out for him, Jesse ran in, and launched himself at Adam’s back.
“Jesse, whoa!” Adam exclaimed, as he felt himself being rammed from behind. Warm wetness soaked into the lower back of Adam’s pajamas and he cursed. “Damn it, Jesse! Don’t tell me…”
But a turn of the head was all Adam needed to confirm his suspicions. And now, he was sure that the only thing worse than a wet two-year-old was a wet nine-year-old.
“Dude! You peed?” Adam asked, incredulous.
Jesse let go as Adam sat up taller, still stretching Kaleb. He felt good and awake now. Awake enough to know that he would be in bad trouble for this. He scrambled backward, not knowing what Adam was going to do.
Adam’s ears were ringing, as Kaleb cried and did his best to escape, reaching pitifully to move the offending hands off his leg. Adam was so thankful this was almost done. He never wanted to repeat it. He was glad when Jesse let him go and left the room. Adam hoped he would do them all a favor and take a shower.
“Okay, all done,” Adam reassured, taking Kaleb in his arms and holding him.
“Want Daddy!” Kaleb sobbed.
Adam picked him up, and headed for the kitchen.
--
Jesse saw Adam coming toward him and panicked. He didn’t want to get beat or burned or kicked out, or worse. He had to protect himself. So, he grabbed the closest thing.
--
Adam skidded a little - cursing his socks and the linoleum - as he took in Jesse. Standing there in red plaid pajama bottoms, and a long white tee shirt that could have belonged to Kris, Jesse shook. But he held himself rigid, gripping a large knife from the block in his hand so hard his knuckles were white.
“No touch dat, Jesse,” Kaleb managed, still bawling.
Instinct set Adam going in reverse, retracing his steps back into Kaleb’s room. Keeping an eye on Jesse, Adam put Kaleb in his crib and flipped on the little TV to the channel with all the kid shows. Then, he backed out, closing the door, and glancing over his shoulder. He wanted Jesse in his line of sight all the time.
“Jesse. Put the knife down,” Adam said, willing his voice to mask the terror he felt. He was relieved when it came out calm.
But Jesse’s eyes were wild, and he took a step toward Adam. It was a terrified, but deliberate thing. The knife was still clutched in his hand.
When Adam reached out for him, he slashed the knife through the air.
--
Jesse couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t do anything but hold onto the knife so tight. Adam couldn’t get to him. Otherwise, Jesse might get his ass beat bad, or worse. And Adam was a lot bigger than Kris. Jesse had never pissed off Kris this much, by accidentally getting his pee on him. Jesse felt the same way he felt when his real mom’s boyfriend said he would kill Jesse. That scared.
When Adam moved toward him, Jesse made the knife cut through the air. He had to keep Adam back. Couldn’t risk him getting too close.
Part of Jesse wanted to give up and just take whatever he had coming. But he couldn’t make his hand let go of the knife.
His hands shook, and tears rolled down his cheeks. Jesse wanted Adam away from him. That was all.
--
“Holy shit,” Adam gasped, as Jesse made a quick slicing motion with his weapon. It nearly took Adam’s finger off.
He pressed his lips together, and pressed his back to Kaleb’s door. It was as much for support as it was for Kaleb’s protection. Adam had no idea what was going on in Jesse’s head right now. Kaleb couldn’t defend himself. Adam could.
Silently, hand shaking, Adam took out his cell phone, and dialed Kris, cursing as it went to voice mail. He needed someone local. Someone Jesse knew and trusted. And someone who could understand a hurting and scared kid.
So he called Allison - relieved when she picked up on the first ring.
--
“Allison, I need you,” Adam said, not wasting any time. He kept his voice low, and kept his eyes on Jesse.
“Dude, do you know what time it is?” she asked, sounding annoyed and heavy with sleep.
“Iraheta, I’m not kidding,” Adam continued seriously, softly. “Jesse’s losing it right now. He’s got a huge-ass knife and won’t let me near him.”
“I’ll be right there,” she promised.
--
Jesse had been standing in the kitchen for a really long time. His legs were shaking and he got so scared he peed again. He couldn’t relax, because Adam was still there, in front of Kaleb’s door.
Then, there was another sound, like someone else coming in to hurt him, too. Jesse closed his eyes. He felt hot and cold, like he might throw up.
He held onto the knife as hard as he could. With two hands now, because one shook too bad.
--
Allison knew Adam was on kid-duty, but she never figured Jesse would totally flip like this and lose his mind.
She was barefoot, and still in her pajamas when she walked slowly into the kitchen. Adam was pale white, with his back pressed against Kaleb’s bedroom door, while Jesse stood way too close to the cutlery. And Adam wasn’t exaggerating. It was a huge-ass knife. Jesse was shaking and standing in a puddle. And Kaleb sounded like he’d gone off the deep end with his brother. He was in the bedroom, crying like crazy.
Allison nodded in Adam’s direction, hoping he would take the hint and go see about Kaleb.
But Adam shook his head, “Not leaving him with you like this,” he said, moving toward her.
Jesse stepped forward again, a wild panic in his eyes. He made a chopping motion with the knife. Allison stayed where she was in the doorway to the kitchen. Adam knew better than to move again.
“Adam,” Allison spoke softly, through her teeth. “Get the hell out of here. You’re not helping. I’m here now. I got it.”
--
Jesse’s whole body hurt from holding it so still, but he let himself breathe a little when Adam left to go in Kaleb’s room.
“Hey, Jesse? It’s Alli. You gotta give me the knife, okay?’ she said, keeping her voice serious and calm. Allison wasn’t calm at all, her heart was about ready to pound out of her chest, but she knew Jesse had to give up the knife. She came closer slowly, and crouched, so she didn’t look like a threat.
He blinked, noticing Alli for the first time. Her bright red hair was messy and she looked tired and really serious. Jesse tried to listen, but nothing she said was making sense.
“Está bien. Dámelo,” Allison soothed, not really caring if he understood Spanish or not. Sometimes, you just had to hear something another way.
In the bedroom, Kaleb finally grew quiet and Jesse focused a little bit. Alli was talking nice and quiet in her Spanish language. She never did that except when she was really happy or really serious.
Allison saw the moment it happened. The flicker in Jesse’s eyes that told her he was starting to come out of his panic. Now, he looked vulnerable, and scared. Tears were changing the blue of his eyes, making them brighter.
“Give it to me. It’s okay. I promise,” she insisted gently. “I know you’re afraid, but you’re not in trouble.” She talked the way she would speak to her little dogs when they got scared in a thunderstorm. Soothing, but strong, too.
Alli watched as Jesse carefully turned the knife, and held it out, handle-first, to her.
The minute her hand closed around it, Allison put it back in the block, using her other arm to keep Jesse back. She snagged him by the shirt when he tried to escape and then wrapped him in her arms and held on.
--
Jesse held himself still and stiff. He couldn’t breathe now that Alli was hugging him. He didn’t understand. Jesse knew he had just done the worst thing in the world…but maybe Alli understood that it was an accident. That it was just because he was so scared of what would happen to him for wetting the bed.
He was nine years old now. Way too old to be doing that.
“Everything’s okay,” she told him, sounding sure that it was. She was holding him so strong that he couldn’t even get away if he wanted to. And, he didn’t really want to. He just didn’t want to be in trouble.
“What happened? What made you so scared?” She asked it so gently, that Jesse wanted to cry.
“Don’t go…” he choked out in a raspy voice.
“No way. I’ve got you,” she promised, breathing a sigh of relief as Jesse finally relaxed in her arms.